Chapter 5

Nai took another glance at his watch, 7:46. Only 4 minutes had gone past since he had checked the previous time. He felt useless, just waiting, not allowed to be there, to make sure Marko was alright, to hold his hand, anything. The clean, sterile halls of the hospital felt wrong and disturbing. A nurse grumbled something about his bleeding hand, infection and rubbish like that. Like he didn't know! He just didn't care; the pain was what reminded him that it all was real.

7:51... How many hours passed since the 'incident'? He wasn't sure; everything was just blurry, crazy and surreal. Race to get him and Marko safe, away. He doubted that they could have gotten further than here, the city of Tokyo. The Watcher still wasn't sure how his friend did that; he would owe Lucy for the rest of his miserable life. One call and she made a miracle happen.

7:58... Marko had been so frantic, muttering nonsense, trembling all over, very possibly in shock. Nai nearly had to carry him to the taxi. Then the flight that seemed endless, Marko's sudden silence had scared the young Watcher more than anything. Upset he got up and walked to the front desk "How long still?" He asked in fluent Japanese.

"I'm sure the doctor will return to you shortly." The woman gave him a practised and hurried smile.

Watcher rolled his eyes "You told me the same thing half an hour ago!"

The woman sighed. "Please just be patient and sit down sir, I know you are anxious but so are many other people here." Nai glanced at the hall and groaned. It was early morning and the waiting room was crowded.

"Whatever..." He left the desk and paced back to his seat, luckily still empty. He was worried, Marko didn't handle things well. Nai could only repeat that there was nothing he could do for now than wait. He got them in deep shit and had to fix it somehow, fix it for Marko.

"Mr. Sinclair?" The doctor called, walking closer to the youth. Both relived and alarmed Nai got up from his seat.

"Talk to me, how is he?!"

"Follow me,” The doctor asked and led Nai to a calmer area to talk with him privately. "Your friend is resting now, we gave him some mild sedative; he was quite hysteric. You know who did this to him? In cases such as this we have to inform the police."

"No, I don't." Nai lied bluntly, hoping that Marko would keep silent. Luckily he couldn't speak Japanese and that gave him some time "Is he awake? Can I see him? Please."

"Yes you can, he's awake, but little out of it..." The doctor warned before taking Nai into the room where Marko was.

The boy lay on the bed under the white blankets. Nai covered his wounded hand with his sleeve as he didn't want to upset Marko further. Only then he approached the bed "Hi... It’s me."

The blond turned his face to him, he looked tired and pale, and his eyes were glimmering, holding some amount of confusion and fear in them.

"Nai..." The hoarse voice croaked. "I’m scared, Nai..."

Nai ignored the doctor’s glares; took Marko’s hand and sat on the edge of the hospital bed. "It’s safe now, we’re safe. " Nai assured. "I took care of everything and I’ll take care of you now, okay?"

"W-where am I? Where’s grandmother? I want her here, please, I want grandma here. "  Marko started to cry and Nai glanced at the doctor searching for help he didn’t find. He looked back at Marko then. "We’re not in Helsinki anymore. " He lowered is voice and the confusion grew over the boy’s face. "It’s safe here,” he repeated taking a deep breath. "Marko, we’re in Tokyo. I know it sounds crazy, even for me, but we made it. You are safe now, that’s important. "

"Don’t leave me... please don’t leave me here. " Marko pleaded trembling, clutching his hand tightly.

"No, I won't leave you." He smiled bringing Marko's palm to his face "I'll stay as long as you want me to."

"Does your friend know what happened to him?" The doctor asked, not understanding any English.

"I'm not sure." Nai admitted switching the language. "He keeps asking about his grandmother, she stayed in different country. I'm not sure if he's aware where we are..."

The doctor nodded, "The police will most likely want to talk with him in the afternoon, you can stay with your friend, perhaps it’s best for him." Great... The police... Nai covered his face forgetting about the wound "Fine and thank you for help."

"You should let us look at your hand." The man spoke then noticing the wound. "Infections can be dangerous."

Nai looked at his hand, it hurt, a lot. Wound was still wrapped in his shirt, not the best solution. "But I don't want to leave him. Can you do it here?"

"Of course," The doctor nodded preparing everything. "Just come sit over here, best not to let him see it."

Nai turned to Marko, boy was dozing, probably after the sedative and because Watcher was there. "I'll be near, okay?" He assured letting go of Marko's hand. "W-what should I do now?" He asked older man taking a seat where doctor told him, carefully unwrapping his palm. It indeed looked nasty and area around the wound was burning. "Damn..."

"Looks bad, why didn't you show this before?" The man frowned at him studying the wound that could already have an infection.

"I... forgot... Marko..." He pointed towards the bed with his chin. "I know I should have, sorry."

"We have to clean it and then use stitches for the wound, you will have to be careful with your hand then. This will hurt..." He warned before starting to disinfect the wound.

Nai waited patiently, it hurt like hell but he tried to ignore it, only pulling a face. If the doctor hadn’t reminded about the hand he would have continued to ignore it, but getting sick now was stupid and infection was dangerous. He needed to take care of Marko now.

The doctor finished putting stitches to the wound. "Remember to be careful with it." He reminded.

"I will thank you." He nodded returning back to Marko. He had to admit that youth looked so small and fragile, bruises, the cut on his neck; it made him appear so much smaller and weak. Nai knew he had lost it, snapped for the first time in years and killed the man. He couldn't stand the image of Marko crying and trembling, hurt and bleeding and so he had snapped... He knew that now he might lose Marko, when the youth would come back to his senses and realise who his lover really was, but untill then he wouldn’t leave the boy...

Marko woke later in the afternoon, confused of his surroundings, everything still felt fussy. He saw the blurry shape of Nai and hoarsely called his name.

Watcher smiled leaning closer "Hi..." He couldn't sleep, before noon he had gotten slight fever and doctor had decided that antibiotic was necessary. He didn't argue but requested staying by the boy's bed. They had agreed "How are you feeling?"

"Hurts... thirsty... where am I?" Marko blinked, his memory was still blurry.

Nai looked at the door, cops hadn’t arrived yet. "You're in the hospital Marko," Explaining he poured a glass of water. "We're in Tokyo, I brought you here yesterday. Drink."

Marko reached for the glass some water dripping down his jaw. "Tokyo?" He wondered not understanding at first.

Nai reached gently to wipe the water away from Marko's face and neck. "I brought you here, it was the only logic solution I could think of. Marko... How much do you remember from..."

Marko stared at Nai then looked away, around the room once more, white and clean... hospital... His breathing turned faster, tears rose to his eyes... "Pete... I remember Pete... He... oh god..."

"Shush... Marko, calm down. I'm here," Nai sat on the bed; he needed Marko to listen to him. "Listen to me, please. It's important..."

Marko trembled slightly, turning his face to Nai. His eyes holding the confusion and slight fear, the pieces slowly coming back to him, even the killing... Pete was dead; Nai had killed the man after... Everything felt surreal, they were in Tokyo, he was in a hospital and he had no memory of the trip, last thing he remembered was… He remembered the living room, the blood, Pete’s corpse on the floor… Nai had walked over to him, covered him in a blanket and said something, whispered… and then… shower? Had he showered? He remembered water, bathroom but… the memory wasn’t clear.

"Marko." Nai repeated boy's name seeing that it got his attention "They will call cops, it's the protocol... I need you to lie..."

Marko nodded slowly. "O-okay," He whispered feeling utterly terrified. He was still unsure what to think, he didn't want to think, hoped that the morning would have been just a bad dream, that none of it hadn't really taken place...

"Just tell them you don't remember anything and that we were here for past few weeks... I couldn’t give them your real last name, if anyone asks your last name is Lahti. " Nai smiled slightly. "It was your grandmothers, right?"

Marko nodded feeling nervous but tried to answer the smile just the same.

"I'll make that work, okay?" It would be easier, to lie, tell that he doesn't remember so that he wouldn’t have to live it through all over again.

"Nai... I'm scared..." Marko whispered.

Nai looked uncertain; the situation was beyond his capabilities, he was still an 'infant'. Still for Marko he smiled. "Don't be, I'll take care of you, make things work again..."

Marko wanted to believe it would work, that somehow it could be turned alright at the same time he didn't know how it was possible. The side of Nai he had seen was unfamiliar to him; he had killed Pete, killed a human but at the same time hadn't he done it for him? To defend him? But what if he would make the other man angry one day? Looking at Nai Marko couldn't really believe that he would harm him though... But what if they got caught? What if the cops would know?

Watcher noticed the fear, sensed it, he knew that Marko shouldn't see him like that he would do anything to fix it... but the harm was done, he had to deal with it now. "I'll tell the nurse that you're awake, you’re in pain?"

Marko nodded, he felt stinging over his cheek and lip, his ankle and hips and... Inside... "I-is it...bad?... t-the injuries?"

"No, just bruises and small cut, nothing serious... You'll be fine. You need just rest and painkillers." He smiled trying to make it reassuring "I'll be right back."

Marko nodded not really wanting Nai to go, he was scared alone in this unfamiliar place, scared that Nai would leave him and he wouldn’t know where to go and or what to do alone.

Watcher returned with nurse and the same doctor from earlier. He knew that they would call the cops soon and it made his nervous. "When can I take him from here?"

"I would prefer keeping him here till next morning," The doctor replied. "The officers will be here soon. I will write him a prescription for painkillers... You live together?" He asked then.

Nai nodded staring at the floor, his hands deep in his pockets "Eeeh, yeah why?"

"Just making sure that he won't be alone; he should take it easy for the following days and rest; and you remember to be careful with that hand of yours."

"Oh?" He took his wounded hand out "Yes, I know. It doesn't hurt anymore."

"Good."

"Doctor, the officers are here." A nurse came in and said.

"Alright, send them in."

Nai took deep breath, he neded to look calm and worried. The second would be easy, the first not quite, it wasn't him who would be intervied. He returned to Marko's room and sat by his side "The cops are here..."

Marko nodded worried, what if they would know that he was lying? Insecurely he tried to reach Nai's hand for comfort.

"I'm here." He whispered seeing two men in uniform entering the room, they were both short, shorter then Nai. it always amazed Nai how so short nation could develop such lethal martial arts. "He talks only English." Watcher warned.

"That's alright; we were informed." Man nodded looking at Marko again "Good afternoon."

"Afternoon..." Marko answered insecurely, trying to calm himself, his heart was racing and he didn't want to let go of Nai.

"It's just the procedure, hospital had to inform us," The other man, taller of the two started, looking professional and cold like hospital's room they were in. "From what doctors said, the bruises are almost two days old, where were you for those two days?"

"I-I don't know... I don't remember what happened... I just... woke here..." Marko replied glancing at Nai.

"Mr. Sinclair," the other looked at his papers. "Maybe we can talk in another room?"

"It's not a good idea, please," He squeezed Marko's hand looking stern at the cops.

Other man sighed. "We are aware of the stress but..." His eyes moved to Nai's bandaged hand "You can talk with my partner in another room or at the police station. Your wound according to what medical staff claimed is two days old as well." Nai glared at the man then turned to Marko.

 "I'll be right back, okay?"

Marko nodded, reluctantly easing his hold on Nai and watching him walking away before looking back at the officer. His nervousness kept spreading and he didn't like it. The man turned back to Marko. "You claim you don't remember anything from and after the... issue." He tried to find the right words not to make the youth more stressed. "How about before? What were you doing?"

Marko took a deep breath, closed his eyes for a second and tried to calm himself. "Last thing that I remember...” He started, trying to think what he should say. "I was going out for a walk… but that’s all I remember. I try but it’s like, I get this wall that stops me from remembering further. " It was partly true, he couldn’t remember leaving his grandmother’s apartment no matter what, he almost wished it would have wiped the rape from his memory as well, at that moment it would have felt easier.

"Where do you live?" He knew that the other youth had stated that Marko lived with him, but wanted to hear it from the blond, to make sure it was the truth.

"With Nai... um... Mr. Sinclair..." Marko replied quietly, hoping the man wouldn’t start asking any address or further details that he didn't know.

"Mhm..." he looked down at his notebook. He knew that shock might cause memory lose but... "You live together for how long?"

"I-I haven't been here too long... just few weeks... we met at my country..." Marko whispered, hoping that his answer was okay.

Man raised his brow "Where is that?"

"Finland..." Marko replied hesitantly. 

"Finland?" He looked down at his notes "Mr. Sinclair in not Finnish..." he muttered looking back at Marko."Do you have any idea who would want to hurt you here?"

"No... I don't know... I don't remember..." Marko said miserably, felt stinging in his eyes and allowed the tears to come hoping it would make the man stop the questions. "I don't understand..." He whispered hoarsely.

Officer sighed seeing the kid breaking. "I know it's difficult... but all we want is to catch the guy who did this to you... Just one more question, how did your friend, Mr. Sinclair got hurt? I mean his hand."

Marko looked at the man in confusion. "Nai is hurt?" He asked, sniffing slightly. "I don't know... Is it bad?" He suddenly recalled Pete trying to stab Nai and… now he worried.

"Yes..." Officer looked down at his notes. "His right palm was stabbed, large blade... Unfortunately your friend forgot to tend it correctly and it got slightly infected. I believe that the doctor fixed the issue already." He looked at Marko's neck, small cut, probably caused by blade, maybe a knife.

"I didn't know..." Marko whispered... "I can't remember... I try but... nothing..." He whispered looking away. 

 "Alright... I'll leave you my business card in case you remember some more." Man took small cardboard from his pocket "Thank you for spending your time on this conversation." 

**^^**^^**^^**

Nai sat on small stool still glaring at the cop "Ask..."

"What is your relationship with the other young man?" The officer asked.

"We're friends." It was true, Marko was his friend, someone dear, someone he could talk about everything. Lover sounded weird to him and boyfriend somehow… cheap?

"And what happened two days ago?" The man asked studying the youth carefully. He had all night to make the story and hoped that Marko would say something that would fit. Damn the doctors for figuring out how old the bruises were...

"My best friend was hurt, that’s what happened." He had to make it sound emotional, hell he felt very emotional about that.

"You found him right after he was hurt?"

"No." Nai shook his head if he said yes they would like to see his place. "He came back to my place, I'm not sure how he did that but he must be in some sort of shock."

"Where did your friend go before that?" The man asked. "And what time was it that he returned?"

"I don't know... I wasn't home then." He tried to sound calm. "I'm not sure what time was that, I took him immediately to the hospital, check the hour when we arrived and subtract an hour..."

"You know anyone who might have wanted to hurt your friend?"

"No, I have no idea; he's the gentlest and kindest person I know. Maybe some psycho pervert freak, It's a big city..." He whispered rubbing his face.

The man nodded. "How did you hurt your hand Mr Sinclair?"

"During training, I'm still green." He lied smoothly "I'm careless..."

"You were training the day your friend got hurt? What do you train?"

"Martial art, my tutor is Jin Yukimori..." Now it was Nai's turn to watch man's expression. Jin was son and hair of one of the powerful clans and his ex.

The man raised his brow curious. "Indeed?" He asked. "Interesting... Why didn't you tend the wound sooner?"

"I told you, I'm careless." Nai crossed his arms "I believe you're here cause of my friend, not my hand, right?" He looked at the other cop who entered the room.

The man stared at him for a moment before nodding. "If you or your friend remembers more details give us a call... It's a big city and without your friend’s memory returning it's almost impossible to catch the one who hurt him."

"Will do." Nai nodded getting up "Can I take him home now?"

The second officer nodded. "As far as we are concerned, yes, I left your friend my card." He smiled but his eyes remained serious. "Do you have alibi for time when your friend was hurt?"

Nai looked at both men with the coldest expression he could muster.

"You think I did it to him?" He hissed, almost losing it.

"I'm not saying that, just the state of trauma..."

"Yes, I have..." Nai stopped the other glaring furious "Call Jin and leave us the fuck alone."

Marko waited nervously for Nai to get back, he wanted to leave the hospital, wanted everything to be okay. Wanted to be able to forget about Pete... but he knew he couldn't, not just like that.

Nai paced back to Marko's room, he needed to calm down, and nerves won't help here. "I... I got you new sweatpants and shirt. They said I could take you home, I... How are you feeling?" Frantic he fished the bag with new clothes from under the bed.

"Are you okay?" Marko asked instead. "He asked me about your hand... Why didn't you tell me you got hurt so?"

"It's nothing serious Marko, been worse," Nai placed the bag at legs of the bed. He should ask Marko what they asked him and what did the youth said but right now was too upset "I'm okay..."

"W-we're okay? T-they believe us?" Marko asked carefully, still nervous.

"I'm not sure," Older youth whispered. "I had to call my ex to get me an alibi... He owes me..."

Marko nodded swallowing, licking the salty taste off his lips, there were so many questions, so many things he didn't understand, things he didn't know how they could turn right. "W-where do we go now?"

Nai sat down on the chair he previously occupy "My place... I live alone there, Jin's family gave me it. I promised all will be alright, right? Trust me..."

Marko looked at him and nodded silently. "Won't they start looking at me at home?" He asked after awhile. "W-when they find him?"

"I wouldn't worry about it right now. We’re pretty far from Helsinki." Nai's smile was sad and apologizing. "I'm sorry I got you in this mess."

"Y-you didn't invite him in..." Marko whispered. "You saved me..." then the picture of Nai killing Pete came to him and it made him confused and slightly nauseous. "...that's why you did it...?"

Nai blinked looking at Marko from top of the bag he was nervously digging in "What?" he asked confused by Marko's last question. "He hurt you, threatened you."

"I know..." Marko blinked wiping the tears away. "I called for you in my mind..." He whispered. "He had... watched us..."

"I know..." Watcher smile turned more warm, he took youth's hand again "Marko, don't think about him right now. Let me take you from here so you can rest."

Marko nodded. "I don't like hospitals..." He whispered trying to sit up; he felt a wave of pain and hissed. "I-I can dress now?"

"Yes." Nai helped Marko sit up supporting his back. "Want me to get a nurse with painkillers while you dress?"

"Um, yeah... if you can." Marko nodded looking down at the hospital gown and then the clothes beside him.

"Okay, don't hurry." he asked. "I'll be back with nurse and checking out papers."

"Okay." Marko said and reached for the pants to dress them on, his body trembled as he struggled to move on his feet, slowly undressing the gown.

Nai returned few 10 minutes later with an angry doctor, different from the one earlier. The man didn't like the idea of Marko leaving so soon and kept arguing with young Watcher. Finally Nai snatched release papers and entered the room.

"Marko, you want to leave?"

Marko looked up to Nai and the doctor, nodding at Nai. "Y-yes... please." He asked with weak, tired voice.

Nai turned back to the medic. "You heard that?" The man looked grim, but nodded "He has to sign..."

Nai turned back to the boy "You have to sign, here, then we can go."

Marko looked at the papers, the false surname he would have to remember to change it to his signature. He took the pen and quickly wrote it. "Here." He said giving the papers towards the doctor.

"Wait please. I'll give you your prescription..." Man left in rush.

"I'm sorry." Nai whispered taking Marko's hand.

Marko took his hand getting up again. "Why?" Marko asked little confused, tired and in slight pain.

Nai shrugged, he wasn't sure what he was apologizing for. "For everything, for fucking up."

"Shh..." Marko whispered, "You saved me... and... he could have killed you... it was... self-defence..." Marko decided, leaning on to him. Everything was confusing but he needed to somehow sort it out, make it into something that would make sense, needed to go on... He also remembered something from the past... He could tell it to Nai when they got to his place.

"Yeah..." Nai smiled nervous. The doctor returned with two prescriptions.

"Here, the painkiller and this one is for your friend." He handed both to Marko. "You shouldn't leave yet sir..."

"I'll be alright, we both..." Marko whispered. "Thank you." He added insecurely.

Nai nodded at the doctor. "Thank you."

When nurse brought the wheelchair saying those were rules he silently agreed and asked Marko to sit.

Marko felt silly sitting down, put didn't have the strength to argue either. He looked over at Nai, then at his own hands that rested on his lap. He wondered if he could ever return back home.

Nai pushed the wheelchair to taxi's parking lot, nurse by his side to take the chair back. He helped Marko is first available cab returning the wheelchair and thanking the woman.

"Are you comfortable?" He asked sitting by boy's side before giving the address.

"As comfortable as it's possible..." Marko whispered giving him a tired smile before looking out from the window. "It feels so surreal..."

"If felt surreal for me few years ago..." Nai remembered watching the boy. "You'll get use to, it's city where you can drown in. In both bad and good way"

Marko nodded, resting his head against the window feeling somehow small and lost, vulnerable. He felt silent tears running on his cheeks.

All the way Nai watched the youth worried. Marko was lucid and coherent again but after such shock there way long way ahead of them. After an hour they made it to his apartment building. He paid the driver and helped Marko out again then slowly leaded him inside

Marko took Nai's support looking at the building. "Is your hand in pain?" He asked with a whisper.

"No, not anymore but I need some anti-inflammatory drugs..." He answered taking out the card that opens the door.

Marko nodded watching what Nai was doing. "It's always cards, the keys?" He asked trying to distract his mind with such an idle question, that had no importance.

"Usually. It’s slightly upgraded suite. Usually flats are very small. European would earn claustrophobia..." He closed the door behind and instantly froze, someone was inside.

Marko clutched Nai's shirt, nervous. "N-nai?" He asked with a whisper.

"It's okey..." Watcher whispered knowing who it was. Heine entered the hall, his long greyish hair tied in loose ponytail, eye patch covering his left eye. He looked pissed. "Marko, go to the bedroom, I'll be right there."

Marko felt his heart beating faster in fright of the angry looking strange man. He looked at Nai, trembling, letting go and clumsily making his way to the room that his lover had pointed.

"How did you get in here?" Nai asked calmly taking off his jacket.

"Front door." The older Watcher replied coldly. "What the fuck where you thinking?!" He lowered his voice. "You disappear for weeks and when you decide to show up you're in the deepest shit I've seen!"

"It' me in deep shit, now y-" He didn't finish cause Heine slapped him. Nai hadn’t expected it, hadn’t had the time to prepare himself, the blow made him trip over. Covering his burning cheek he looked at older man, quiet.

"Now listen... You put us all in danger!" The grey haired man hissed, leaning closer towards the youth. "Your fucking careless acting put us all in jeopardy. Did you even think about it?"

Nai looked down still curling by the wall. "I'm sorry..."

Marko listened nervously, winching when he saw the slap through the creak of the door. He wanted to go there to defend Nai but he was frozen with fear, trembling even more, tears falling down, his legs felt weak, breathing difficult.

Heine glanced at the boy peaking through the door and snarled. "He will cause troubles." He whispered turning back to Nai. "He saw you? Then?" Younger Watcher only nodded, ashamed to look at Marko now. "Great..." Heine hissed adjusting his coat. "Just great..."

Marko finally packed from the door when he saw the man spotting him. He hid himself in the corner of the room, hugging his knees close.

"Can we talk about it some other day?" Nai pleaded worried about Marko's reaction. Heine snarled but nodded.

"You're screwed." Heine remarked heading to the door and banging it shut behind him.

"I'm sorry you had to see that." Nai whispered opening the door to the bedroom.

Marko looked up. "Are you okay?" He asked shakily.

Nai entered the room and knelt in front of the boy. "Yes, I'm okay..."

"Who was he?" Marko asked still hugging himself and trying to calm down.

"Another like me... He’s worried and that's his weird way to express it." Nai knew that his cheek was red and that a bruise would form on his jaw soon and he only hoped that this wouldn’t upset Marko further.

"Stupid way..." Marko muttered. "I'm sorry..." He took a deep breath and brought his hand over his forehead. "I'm confused..."

"I know." Nai sat next to the blond, his back to the wall. "Would you like to eat something?"

Marko shook his head. "I'm not hungry..." He spoke quietly, didn't have any appetite. "I'm tired..."

"Okay. Why don't you take a shower and get some sleep?" At this suggestion Nai got up to make the bed.

Marko nodded and got up slowly gritting his teeth at the pain. "Where's the bathroom?"

"Door next to this one, on the left. I'll get you some towels. I just moved here... My things are still in boxes..." He looked at the bed sighing. Jin's father made sure he stays away from his son, paying him good money to move aside. He dodn’t want it but had no place to stay in. He felt like a whore.

"Okay..." Marko nodded, "Thank you." He added a bit absently and made his way towards the bathroom.

Nai watched Marko worried. Youth was still in pain and he needed to get him his meds before the shot that nurse gave him would wear off. He finished making the bed then searched for towels. He visited his new house only once, short before the flight, not wanting to stay in cold empty appartment, alone and humiliated. Then he met Marko... It felt like ages ago.

The bathroom was beautiful and big, Marko looked around before undressing stepping under the shower stall. He looked down on his body; the bruises on his hips and thighs, his arms and sides, seeing them was slightly shocking and he started washing more frantically almost feeling the now dead man's scent appearing from seemingly out of now where; marking him, tainting him and he desperately needed to get rid of it!

Marko needed new clothes and he didn't take anything while fleeing from his grandmother’s apartment so he would have to borrow some of his. Muttering curses Nai dug in first available box, some linen pants and simple white t-shit that Marko could sleep in.

"You alright? I got you the towel and some clothes." Nai called knocking softly to the bathroom's door

The hot water had made his skin red Marko stared at his arms quietly for a moment before realising he should answer... "Hmm. yeah..."

"I'm..." The Watcher looked down at the towels. "Can I come in?"

Marko was quiet again standing under the hot spray. "Y-yes..." He finally replied looking numbly at the wall in front of him.

Nai cracked the door open "The towels." He whispered reaching out his hand "I found you some clothes as well, here."

Marko took one of the towels, quickly covering himself after turning the water off. "Can you leave them there..." He asked not ready to show his bruised body to him, though of course Nai had already seen him fresh when it had happened.

"Yes, I'm sorry." Nai placed everything on the sink then backed off closing the door behind.

Marko sighed hearing the door closing before stepping out of the shower stall to dress. He felt himself shiver from sudden cold, wrapped his arms around himself and left the room, carefully approaching the bedroom. His confusion didn't ease, in fact it seemed to grow with each passing minute, he wasn't sure what was going to happen, didn't understand how all of it was possible; being in Japan with Nai... Pete was dead, was the man still laying on the floor of his grandmothers living room? Would they tell her? What would she think? She would worry... They would think he killed Pete? How could he return now? Who was Nai? Who was he really?

Nai was watching Marko through the crack of kitchen’s door. Marko would get better, he knew that, would handle what happened but what next? He could sense the uncertainty, unease. Watcher bit his lip backing off.

Marko lay down on the bed snuggling under the covers, holding a pillow close to his chest... too many thoughts, too much time to think, couldn't stop from remembering... Two days, injuries were two days old? Marko still remembered nothing of the trip to Japan... It was real but so difficult to understand.

Few minutes later Nai entered the bedroom with two cups of tea and painkillers he found in the kitchen.

"May I?" Watcher asked standing at the door "I brought you some tea..." He smiled remembering that Marko said about cheering up and tea.

Marko peaked at Nai. "Thank you..." He whispered, slowly moving to sit up.

Nai placed the tray on the floor; bedside table was occupied by another box.

"I'm sorry about the mess; I'll clean up and unpack as soon as possible..."

"It's okay," Marko whispered watching carefully. He wanted to ask about things but he was scared to do so, didn't know how Nai would react.

"Marko..." He stated knowing that there were things he should explain, should make clear. "H-how much you remember from after...?"

"I-" Marko started insecurely glancing at Nai before back at his hands. "H-he's... dead."

"Yeah... He will never hurt you again..." Nai looked down playing with one cup "Remember when I promised that I would never hurt you?"

Marko nodded, trembling slightly, he warmed his hands against the tea cup that Nai had given.

"I still mean it, nothing changed." He looked in Marko's eyes, only three day ago they were glowing with happiness, cause of Nai, now all he could see sadness and insecurity, partly because of Nai as well.

Marko glanced at him. "My family... is... we're cursed... I think... why else...?" He took a pause and tasted the tea. "D-did I tell you... about my grandmother’s younger brother?"

"Younger?" He remembered Elias and if he was correct the boy was older "No I don't think so."

"It's long story..." Marko sighed. "He was gay too, um... there was a soldier that helped Elias... he loved him... then Elias died... 11 years later this soldier, Alexander... he found grandma and Olavi... um, Olavi was 16 then and... you know... he reminded of Elias... and well without Olavi knowing about the past he fell for Alex, who was… Well, is 18 years older...." Marko sighed again playing with his spoon now. "Alexander loved him too, very much... couldn't tell him the truth... until... one of the other men who... hurt Elias... had followed Alex and... unfortunately... this man saw Olavi too..."

"I'm sorry..." Nai couldn't think of anything else to say in this situation. There was nothing to say to be honest "Children should remain children..."

Marko glanced at him and nodded before looking back at his tea cup. "The man took Olavi... into a forest... he... raped him, almost killed him... Alexander found them in time...and... He just... he killed the man on the spot in anger..." His voice was quiet as he spoke, when he had heard the story he had thought Alexander was a hero in doing what he had... That man hadn't deserved to live... Was this really that different he wondered?

Nai nodded. "He did the right thing... But times are different now."

"Olavi was more innocent than I..." He whispered, knowing he couldn't compare.

Nai shook his head. "Marko, it doesn't matter how you are; no one deserved to be hurt like that."

"They always warned me to be careful... I didn't listen... didn't think it would happen to me... I thought it would be too ironic... But Peter... He was never good to me... He never respected me..." Marko felt the tears running down softly on his cheks. "I was stupid... and now I feel... lost."

Nai listened, it was good that Marko talked about it or at least all the shrinks claimed so... "Don't blame yourself. There are limits that no one should break."

Marko sighed and nodded. "Olavi tried to kill himself... after..." He said and wiped the tears away. "It's difficult... but somehow... it will make sense again, won't it?" He wante to believe hat things would work out, he needed it.

"No, it's never easy..." Nai whispered sadly. "But you're strong, you'll do just fine. I know it..."

Marko placed the cup away and lay down. "H-have you... done it before?" He asked insecurely.

"D-done what?" Nai blinked confused by sudden change of subject.

Marko bit his lip, drawing the coverlet higher. "Killed," he whispered barely loud enough to hear.

Nai tensed looking away "Oh... Would it change anything? If I did?"

"I-I don't know..." Marko whispered. "I'm...trying to...understand... what happened..."

"I killed him Marko and I did kill before..." Watcher got up feeling uncomfortable now.

Marko felt uneasy as well, more confused about everything. "People like him?" He asked not daring to look at him.

Nai glared at Marko trying to ease the anger. He didn't know why he was angry admiting to it. "You mean bad people who hurt helpless? Yes..."

Marko glanced at him and then away, he didn't feel comfortable with the way that Nai was glaring at him. "M-many?"

"I don't count; I don't make any lists, charts or shit! Why are the numbers that important to you? Does one make it easier to deal with than a hundred? Huh?!" Nai hissed leaving the room, slamming the door shut behind, he didn't want Marko to see his suddenly watery eyes.

Watcher hid in the kitchen angry and sad at the same time. He didn't want Marko to know what he was doing for a living. Little bit what he said should be enough. But that damn bastard, that monster made him lose it, made him kill in front of Marko. He kicked the cupboard, making pots knock over. It was not right!

Nai leaned over table top breathing hard. He couldn't lose it, make Marko upset. Had to fix it, everything. He cared for Marko, damn, he wasn't sure if he had cared for Jin that much... He couldn't fuck this up now!

Nai's reaction scared him, Marko started to cry, hid under the covers trembling, curling on his side, he wanted his grandmother, wanted her to tell it would be alright. This place was too unfamiliar to feel safe in, at that moment Nai felt unfamiliar as well.

Marko winced when he heard the noise from kitchen, pulling the cover over his head, fear grabbing his throat. He remembered being a child, after his mother had left, after his father had started drinking, the angry fits he caught; throwing things, kicking things some times kicking him... and Pete... all of it... the anger... the aggression... Marko covered his ears, whispering words of an old childhood tune trying to find calmer place in his mind.

Boy hugged the pillow close to his chest for comfort, peaking from under the blanket licking the salty taste of his tears from his skin, gasping for breath that seemed difficult to control. Was Nai mad at him? Could he hurt him? But he said he wouldn't... Nai promised and he hadn't yet... Nai had been gentle with him... all the time... Still he couldn’t stop feeling frightened.

TBC.

Web published: December 29th, 2009.

My Secret Shore

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