THE PUNISHMENT

Chapter 1.
 

I was making pizza in the kitchen and listening to music while doing it.
"Tom is coming here soon to spend the night" Henri came in and told me, he had turned the music down a bit, I glanced at him quickly from over my shoulder.
"Why does he have to come here?" I couldn’t hide how annoyed I felt, I couldn’t stand that man and the feeling was quite mutual. The most of Henri’s friends thought that I was nothing more than a pretty boy or a teen prince, who’s only thoughts revolved around good looks and it was the reason of why I didn’t like them, they had already decided their opinion before even hearing me opening my mouth. I think it was the age thing, I had just turned twenty, they were all thirty or over.
"Because we are going to the cruise tomorrow and it is easier for him to come here now."
I hadn’t forgotten it, but I wasn’t thrilled with going either, 42 hours with Henri wouldn’t have been bad, but with Henri and his idiotic friends; pure torture.
"But the ship doesn’t leave the dock until 6pm. He could very easily make it there without coming here tonight." It was a weak effort; I knew what he would answer.
"Joonas, honestly, he’s coming here tonight end of story. Do try to act properly." He told me; sometimes he made it sound like I was talking to my dad, not my boyfriend.

”Hello!” I heard Tom`s voice coming from the hall. I was moping in the
kitchen and slicing up the pizza. I took one beer from the fridge; I needed something to relax me, make the evening more bearable.
“Joonas, there you are. Are you hiding from me?” I turned around to face the man who was grinning at me, looking at me in the way I didn’t like, but to which I had grown more or less use to.
“Yes, here I am and no, I’m not hiding.”

“What’s this? You’ve cooked for us?” Tom pinched my butt when he got closer, he did it often, he knew I didn’t like it, but he didn’t care.

“Don’t do that.” I said angrily and walked past him into the living room.

Henri was talking in his mobile and when he finished the call, he was looking rather pissed off.

“They called from work, I have to go there; they have some problems there again.” He sighed. Henri was an owner of a restaurant; it wasn’t by any means rare for him to get called there on his day offs
“What? Now?...You can’t leave me here with him.” I told him trying to keep my voice low. This was the one evening I definitely didn’t want for him to go.
“Well no can do dear, the two of you will be alright here.” He told me almost as if he was completely unaware how much me and Tom disliked each other.

“Yes, we’ll be alright.” Tom confirmed to my surprise. Even his voice had begun to irritate me.

“See you guys later.” With that Henri left us. I heard as the front door slammed shut after him.

I sat down on to the couch, once again moping because of the situation. I should have gone to my parents, should have told Henri to go without me to the cruise, when ever I spend time with him and his friends it made me question whether or not the relationship was worthy of continuing.
Tom sat onto couch next to me and I tried to avoid his gaze and just concentrate on the TV screen.
Some minutes later my cell phone started to ring on the coffee table, I could already see Tom leaning forward to see who was calling me, but I was lucky to snatch it first.


The caller was Alex; a German guy, who was only two years older than me. We had met at the summer, when I, Henri and his friends had spent two weeks in Frankfurt. One night there, we went to a gay-club. I had, had a huge fight with Henri before that.

I met Alex by the bar counter, he had been clearly checking me out and I could not help myself to smile at him, look back at him, flirt with him. He was a handsome, tall, dark haired guy, just the sort of guy I always fantasised about.
Perhaps it was the alcohol, perhaps the fight with Henri or perhaps just the interest I felt for Alex, the stranger at the time, which made me flirt with him even when sitting next to my boyfriend. I tried to be careful though, pretty sure that all of it was missed by Henri and his friends.
I think I had been waiting for an excuse all that time and when it was given; something that Henri had said that made me angry, something enough to make me stand up, tell him that I had enough of his insults and left them. Now I couldn’t even remember what it was that he had told me then.

It hadn’t taken long for Alex to find me and together we quickly ran to find a hiding place, from where we ended up watching as my boyfriend and his friends tried to find me. We laughed, feeling excited, nervous… It was thrilling situation; so far we had scarcely spoken to one another and there we were; hiding together, suddenly kissing each other feverishly, while we could have been caught at any moment. It was one of those things you know you shouldn’t be doing, but you can't help not to.


It was the alcohol had dimmed my senses, or perhaps my guilt that otherwise I might have felt. At that moment it was just me, Alex and that moment. And when he asked me to come over to his place for the night, only one answer came to my mind; YES!
I was excited, more than excited, I didn’t know him, he was a foreigner and the chances were that after that night I’d never see him again.
We sneaked out, walked in the chill summer night, laughing, kissing. At some brief moment I did think of Henri, I did realise how wrong I was doing to him and thought that I should just turn back and go to him while I still had the chance, but when Alex kissed me I forgot everything else, I knew that I’d end up regretting more if I wouldn’t go with him. I couldn’t bring myself to put an end to something I wanted so badly.
Someone who had said that sex with a stranger couldn’t be satisfying was deadly wrong; the night with Alex had been the best night of my young life. It was strange though, somehow he didn’t feel like a stranger; somehow it felt more right than anything had ever felt like.
If I close my eyes, I can see him clearly before me, I can almost feel the smoothness of his skin under my fingers, the shape of his muscles, the way his lips felt against my own. No one has ever touched me the way that he did.
And I gave myself to him, I gave him more than I had ever given to anyone and when I told him that I was a virgin that way, that no one had ever fucked my ass, he had been surprised but delighted at the same time. Others I had always turned down, because I had been too afraid of the pain, but Alex… I wanted him, it felt right…
It had hurt just as I had predicted, but the pain wasn’t half as bad and the pleasure had over powered it. Pain and pleasure mixing; I never even knew of the feeling he made me feel and I knew I’d want more if it, of him.
We spend the whole night just exploring one another.

The morning sun rose too quickly that morning, and my sense of reality came back with it. I remember starting to laugh inertly as I thought about what I had just done, as I thought about Henri and his friends and what I would tell them when I would return to the hotel. Alex had laughed with me, holding me, kissing me.
We didn’t want it to end, but I had to return, we both knew it. He told me that he had had the best night of his life and he wanted my phone number. Of course I knew it would be stupid, of course I knew I might get caught, but when I looked into his deep brown eyes, I couldn’t refuse him. I didn’t know that it was possible to feel so strongly for someone, after just one night.


I clearly remember the journey back to the hotel, I felt so fucked; literally. I was trying to think of a good explanation of my whereabouts and at the same time somehow ease my guilty conscience while a part of me wanted nothing more than to turn back and spend the whole week with Alex.
I thought that cheating in a foreign country really didn’t count. My friend had once told
me that it was an unwritten rule in relationships. I didn’t know however, what the unwritten rule said about the fact that your own partner was with you on the same trip...

Henri had been worried sick the whole night that I was gone.

“Where the hell have you been?!” He screamed when I got to our room.

“I was walking around the city and then I sat in one bar. I was so mad at you Henri.” I couldn’t think of anything better, I could only hope that he’d buy it.

”For God sake Jon, do you even realize how worried I was?? You can’t go wander about all alone in this foreign city. Anything could have happened to you! You could have gotten yourself killed or something!”

“I’m quite capable to take care of myself, thank you very much.” I really didn’t need him to act like my father.

“Are you Joonas? Can you take care of yourself? It was stupid of you, especially in that region we were last night. There are lots of bad people out there, and you are a young and beautiful boy....What if someone would point a gun to your head? What if there was a whole gang of them?”
He asked me.

It felt weird. I could see how worried he was, but why would he think that something like that would happen to me? But in that I did see my way out of more questions being asked. I started to cry.

“I’m so sorry Henri, lets not fight anymore, please? I’m so sorry for making you worry like that.” He smiled to me and gave me a hug.

“I’m sorry love, for yelling at you, I just...I worry about you, because I love you and I don’t want to lose you.”

“I understand, I love you too.” I said wondering if I really meant it.

************

I went to the bedroom with my phone to talk with Alex in private.

”Hey Jo, what’s up?” He asked.

”Oh, nothing much; I’m stuck here alone with one of my boyfriends idiotic friend’s.
Henri had to go to work.”

“Oh, you poor thing.” Alex voice sounded great and simply hearing him made me grin ear to ear.

”How are you?” I asked.

”I’m fine…Just missing you babe.” I think I giggled, such an unmanly sound, but I couldn’t help myself.

”I miss you too.”

“So when are you coming to see me again?” He asked. We had been talking about it
before. I thought that I could lie to Henri, and say that I was going to visit my aunt who lived in Germany. I had also considered of simply leaving the relationship, my thoughts were with Alex and as for my feelings for Henri, I just wasn’t so sure anymore.

“I’m not sure yet, I’m trying really soon, okay?”

“Okay, I really do miss you… you’re on my mind constantly…” His voice was more serious now.
“I think about you as well… I’ve been thinking of leaving him…” I confessed, trying to keep my voice low.
“Really?” Alex voice seemed to brighten. “I’ve been kind of hoping you’d say that.” He told me then, I smiled holding the phone against my ear.
“I’ll call you, soon, okay? I think I really must go before Tom starts wonder…”
“Okay, good night Jonas,”
“Good night Alex, bye.”
“Bye, kisses.”




"Well who was it?” Tom asked when I got back to the living room.

“My friend.”

“Foreign friend? I heard you talking in English, I didn’t know you had any foreign friends.” Tom grinned at me.

“Do you always listen to other peoples phone calls in secret?" I snapped.

“I just over heard, so tell me, who was it?”

“My cousin from Germany, although I don’t realize how this is any of your business.”

“Doesn’t your cousin speak Finnish?” Tom asked, making me inwardly curse that I hadn’t come up with anything better.

“Well, um…she wants to improve her English.” I snapped, it sounded even more stupid when I said it out loud and Tom began to laugh.

“To improve her English? Is that so?” I ignored him and walked into the kitchen to get myself another beer.

“You don’t have to believe me!” I shouted to him, feeling nervous, perhaps even scared. What if Tom knew about Alex? What if someone had seen us then? But I was sure that they would have told Henri by now if that was the case. I tried to calm down and took a few big gulps of the beer.

“Interesting messages you got here. I’m pretty sure that these are not from your cousin.” Tom said having walked into the kitchen after me. I could feel as all the colour drained from my face; Tom was holding my phone in his hands. Why hadn’t I deleted the messages I got from Alex??
"Joonas, I can’t stop thinking of you and that night we had, it was so perfect! My bed feels lonely without you, I miss you like crazy." Tom read out loud and brought his gaze up to me, malicious grin spreading on his face.
I opened my mouth to say something, anything, but nothing came out.

Tom kept coming closer.

“I knew it, our little teen prince, isn't that innocent after all.” I backed away until my back hit the kitchen counter.
“Henri would not like this you little slut!” I tried to walk past him, but he grasped my arm.
“Just where do you think you are going?”

“Away from you, now let go of me!” Tom pressed me harder against the counter, threatening look in his eyes, but there was also something else, something that at first I did not recognize.

“Not before I have taught you a lesson you’ll never forget...” He hissed before pressing his angry lips against my own.

”You fucking bastard!” I screamed when he finally let go of me, for a moment I gaped at him, unsure what was going on, I knew however that I should run. I shoved him away, trying to get out of the room, but Tom was faster; he grasped a knife from the counter and pulled me back.

“Wait, you’re not going anywhere honey. We have this deal between us friends; if someone’s boyfriend is unloyal, we get to punish him.” He said pointing at me with the knife.

“You’re going to kill me!” I screamed in panic, and kept my eyes fixed on the sharp weapon in his hands. My hand rose automatically to my throat, I couldn’t help imagining how he would slit it open. I truly felt sick; I hated knifes, I thought it would be the most horrid way to die.
Tom laughed, he fucking laughed at me and I really failed to see any humour in the situation. Maybe he was a psychopath?

“I said, I would give you a lesson, I did not say that I would kill you.” He smirked and I tried my best to understand what he was telling me; what he meant by it and why was the knife still so close if he wouldn’t use it?

“A...A lesson?” I stuttered finally. He nodded, looking like he was having a time of his life teasing me.

“So tell me, how many times did you fuck with that guy? I know that it happened in Frankfurt.” Tom asked. I still had my eyes glued on the knife that he was holding. I repeated his question over and over in my head.

So there was the first night with Alex, it had happened...Um...Four times? Henri had conveniently gotten ill with the flu and I had a good opportunity to go shopping by myself, or in other words; go and have a great sex with Alex. So there were many times that had happened, but I would never admit it!

“It happened just once...Look...I was really drunk and I...Well you know...I regret it so much! Really I do...I love Henri.” I tried to look as sweet and innocent as I could, which usually worked really easily. I have blond hair and deep blue eyes, and most of those who see me for the first time
think I look like an angel. So there I was; blinking my big eyes at him and nipping my bottom lip slightly. I had this little regretful school boy act going on. It always worked on Henri.

Tom’s expression turned slightly odd and his breathing changed. I lowered my gaze down his figure and I noticed that he was having a hard on!

Apparently my innocent school boy act had a totally different effect from what I had intended. I lifted my gaze quickly and tried to pretend that I hadn’t noticed a thing. What you can not see, doesn’t really exist, right? Right?? I started to tremble a bit.

“Don’t lie. You’re not sorry that you cheated, you’re only sorry that you got caught...Oh, how I and the others have been waiting for this moment to come, so that we could get our hands on you.” Tom said and came closer; I have never in my live been so scared as I was just then. My hands clenched the counter tightly.

“What did you do with him? Where did he touch you?” He asked, and for some odd reason I almost started to laugh. I reminded myself that it wouldn’t be wise to laugh at a man holding a knife.

“Well I’m not going to tell you that!” I screamed as I realized that he was being serious with the question. He brought the knife closer and I froze.

“You better start talking.” He said and looked straight at me. I brushed my hair nervously from my forehead.

“What the fuck am I suppose to tell?!” Tom grinned and took another step closer to me. Now he was beginning to get too close.

“Just what I said...What did you do?...Where did he touch you?...” His hand rose to my lips. “Did you suck his dick?” He asked. I was trembling and my heart was racing fast, I tried to back up, but I soon realised just how trapped I was.
“Well I’m waiting...” Tom whispered and his hand stroke over my face slightly. I
nodded my head and he gave me a smile. His hand moved to the front of my jeans and he squeezed my genitals. A soft moan escaped from my lips. “And did he suck your dick?” I nodded again. Tom’s hot breath was on my face and on my neck. He licked his own lips and I closed my eyes tightly. His hand moved behind my back and then slowly to my butt. He squeezed me hard and I moaned again even though I didn’t want any of it.

“Did you give him your ass?” Tom’s voice was hot and hoarse, his hand rubbed my butt. I was trembling even more, I wanted to run, I wanted him to stop this. I prayed that Henri would come home soon and save from his crazy friend. “I asked you a question; did you give him your ass?” He demanded an answer and I slowly opened my eyes.

“Y-yes...” I stammered with low voice. Tom looked both satisfied and frightening at the same time.

He brought the knife to my chest.
“Please don’t kill me!” I screamed and squeezed my eyes shut, waiting for the strike that never came, instead he grasped my shirt and soon enough I heard the sound of the fabric tearing. I opened my eyes and watched in shock as he pulled the remains of my shirt off of me.

“What the fuck...” Without my shirt, in front of him, I felt naked. As a swimmer I had gotten use to standing in front of many people, wearing only my swimming trunks, but now… now I felt naked.


Tom grinned.
“I said I wouldn’t kill you...” He whispered and then it finally dawned on me, I knew what he meant, what he planned to do to me.
“You’re fucking crazy! You fucking perverse!” I screamed as panic began to spread through my body, with all my might, I pushed him away and ran to the living room. I had to get out of the apartment, I had to get help. Tom however was faster; he grasped me from behind and placed his palm over my mouth before I had the time to scream for help.

He held me tightly against him, dragging me to the bedroom, no matter how I tried to struggle, I couldn’t get away.
“After this, you’ll never cheat again...” He hissed. “Let’s see then, where are all Henri’s stuff...” He was talking more to himself than to me. Stuff? What fucking stuff? I thought to myself. I was feeling more and more terrified; Tom was much stronger, much bigger man than I, I couldn’t get away. He opened the door to a wardrobe and took a big box from the corner. I wondered what
exactly he could have been looking from there; as far as I knew there was nothing more than Henri’s winter clothes in it.

Tom started to throw clothes away, revealing videos, handcuffs, dildos and many other things that I had no idea of what they were. Why hadn’t I known that Henri kept such things in our bedroom?
Once again I tried to scream, nothing but muffled cry came out. Tom laughed at my efforts to get away; he took a pair of handcuffs and locked my hands behind my back.

“I think we can manage with these.” He said, dragging me towards the bed. He sat down and forced me on my knees in front of him. “If you scream, the punishment will only get worse.” He hissed before removing his hand from my mouth.

“You fucking bastard...I’ll tell Henri about what you did.”

“Oh, really? Is that so?” He merely grinned and continued to unzip his trousers; his huge, hairy cock came to my view. I could feel tears starting to gather in my eyes, it was really happening, it would happen and then he made it more horrible with starting to slap my cheeks with his hard organ. All my efforts of avoiding it were in vain.

“Take it in your mouth, you fucking slut!”

“No! please let me go! Please…” Tom slapped me hard and a pained cry made it out from my mouth, my cheek felt like burning, I didn’t want to believe what was happening.

”You will do as I tell you to do. And if you try anything stupid, if you bite me: I swear I’ll hurt you so bad that even your mom won’t recognise you..” He threatened, before grasping my hair roughly.
I gave in; knowing he most likely would act according his threat. Reluctantly I took him in my mouth, holding my head on both sides he forced me to go deeper, making me gag.
I couldn’t breath, I felt like throwing my up, my mouth was being raped and I could do nothing to stop it. I think seeing my discomfort only turned him on more.


I still tried to understand what was really happening; that I was there, on my knees, in front of a man I loathed and had his huge dick in my mouth. Tom sounded like he was coming really soon and I felt relieved. I tried to do anything that I could to make him cum faster. I just wanted it over; I
wanted to be able to breathe normally.

“Fuck, you got such a gorgeous mouth...Mm...I’m going to cum...” And with that he did. He still held my head on place, his cock in my mouth, forcing me to swallow it all. Some of the sperm was dripping down my chin; Tom wiped it with his fingers and finally took his organ away and placed it with them.

“Lick them clean!” He commanded and I found myself too tired to fight him; I was just glad it was over now.

Tom grasped my hair again and pulled me up with him. I cried out.

“That was lesson number one.” He told me and tossed me on the bed, on my stomach. He unlocked the handcuffs and turned me fiercely to my back. He then forced my hands above my head and locked them to the bedpost.

“What are you doing? Let me go!” I screamed in panic.

“Did you really think that that was it?” He asked with amused voice. I tried to squirm away, I tried everything, I was in panic and forgot for a moment that I was handcuffed, that no matter how I would struggle, I wouldn’t be able to get away.

“Let me free! You’re sick! I don’t want this!” I cried and he slapped me again.

“Shut the fuck up! You fucking whore!” Tom screamed making me tremble in fright, perhaps it was wiser to be quiet if I wanted to survive this?

Tom took a cigarette and lighted it. He sat there looking at me, smoking like he had all the time in the world. He smirked and breathed the smoke at my face, making me cough.
He laughed openly at me and finally stubbed the cigarette on my upper arm and when I screamed he hit me again.
.
He removed my socks and then started to remove my jeans. I laid there naked and helpless, trembling. His hand moved to my hairless genitals, and apparently he liked what he saw; his breathing became tense.

“Don’t; please just let me go…” I begged.

“Let you go?...Why would I do that? The fun is just beginning.” He smiled.

“No! Let me go! No!” I started to scream and I guess he finally got bored of it. He stood up and went to get something and when he came back; he gagged me with socks and then bound my mouth with a scarf. A pleased smile passed his lips before he returned to his task.

I could feel his hot breath on my naked skin, his lips brushing against my cock, while his hand caressed my balls. I tried to protest, but only mumbling came out. When his lips pressed more firmly against my organ, it responded to the touch happily. I was starting to get aroused and I really couldn’t understand why; apparently my cock had a plan of it’s own.

Next he took me whole in his mouth, starting to suck me, making my organ grow harder and harder. It felt good and wrong both at t same time. I didn’t want him to make me feel this way, I didn’t want him to make me cum; somehow it just made the whole situation worse than it already was.

“The whore is enjoying this, I knew it.” Tom laughed and continued to fondle me with his hands. I lifted my hip to meet his touch not really knowing what I was doing anymore. My body was feasting on this, wanting more and my mind kept screaming against it. My body had completely betrayed me!

Then the pleasure my body was feeling became to much and I released my seed all over his hand and my tummy. I felt ashamed, disappointed and disgusted with myself; numbly I stared at the ceiling. I didn’t want to see him, I was sure I would never again want to see him. I heard as he pulled himself up from the bed and I thought that perhaps he would let me go now. Finally I turned my head to see what he was doing.

Tom had removed all his clothes and he stood there; his cock hard and ready once more, he was grinning, I hardly dared to breathe…
“Now comes the best part” He said as he took the lube from the nightstand. Oh God… He couldn’t put that monster cock in me, It was too big, it would hurt, I was sure it would hurt more than anything ever done to me! I started to squirm like a madman and mumbling behind my gag.

He pushed my legs apart and placed himself so that I could not move them. He lifted my ankles and applied the lube on my ass and on my opening. I felt the first finger entering me and I really started to feel nervous. I did not want this! He was too damn big for me. He added another finger
and stretched me, it hurt already. I cried desperately.

“Does this hurt?” He asked and I nodded my head. “Good.” He smiled. I looked at him with surprise.” This is not purpose to be a gentle punishment.” He said and forced a third finger in. Tears fell on my face like never ending current. I felt him removing his fingers, but I knew that it was only a briefly passing relief; I could see him spreading some lube on his cock.

Then he placed it against my opening and I could feel a huge pressure that followed. My inner muscles tried to resist the intruder, but he forced himself in despite it. And just as I had predicted; I had never before felt anything that could be compared to that pain. My first time with Alex had been gentle; it had hurt, but not nearly as much as this. Then again it hadn’t been a rape and this was, Alex hadn’t been this big and he had cared about my pleasure.

Tom had pressed himself all the way in and I felt sick when he groaned from pleasure.
“Fuck...This is good...Oh fuck...” He began to move inside me. “You’re so fucking tight...Oh yes...Oh fuck...” When I close my eyes, he put his hand on my throat.

“Open your eyes you whore!” I did what I was told. I could hardly see anything through my tears. “Are you enjoying this? Are you enjoying your punishment?” Tom was all heated up. He took my gag of, I coughed. Tom pulled almost out and slammed hard back in; I screamed. He kissed my lips roughly drawing blood from them. Then he slapped me.

“Please...Don’t...Hurts...” My voice was more like a whisper.

“This is what you get for cheating on my friend. Whores will be treated like whores.”
He spat on my face. Grasped my hips and came inside me.

His heavy body lay on top of mine. We both tried to catch our breaths. He moved and freed my hands. I tried to get away from him as quickly as I could. Tom laughed when I stumbled to the floor. He lighted another cigarette and watched me. I wiped my face and groaned from the pain each time I moved. I heard a sound of the front door opening. Henri! My first thought was to get to him, to tell him about his awful friend and what he had done to me. I found boxers from the floor and hurriedly pulled them on.

”Don’t bother dressing, it’s quite pointless, don’t you think?” Tom said still looking at me. I shot a murderous glance at him, before I opened the bedroom door.
I leaned tiredly against the doorway; Henri stood only few feet’s from me. He looked at me from head to toe and I knew I’m must have been looking like a quite a mess. Trembling I reached my arms to him.

“Henri…Tom…It hurts...” I whined and wrapped my arms around him, around my saviour, I thought. Tom came closer to us. Henri’s hold on me loosened and he looked at me funny, which made me back up from him. He changed looks with Tom.

”Do you remember Joonas, what I told you when we started this relationship? That I was a kind man up until a point?” I looked at Henri with surprise written all over my face. I did remember, I just didn’t want to. They both looked at me and I wanted to disappear. I nodded my head slightly and looked away from him.

“And what was that point that I was talking about?” Henri asked. I was chased into a corner, I realized. “Well do you remember or not?” I started to draw small circles to the wall with my fingers.

“If I..Um...If I cheated on you...” I managed to whisper.

“That’s right, so you do still remember...Can you then tell me why did you did it anyway? Why did you cheat and lie?” Henri asked, looking just as frightening as Tom had earlier. I continued drawing the circles, a habit that I had done since childhood when ever I was feeling nervous.

“Cheat?...But I...Why...I did not...I...” I sounded pitiful, I knew. I couldn’t stop trembling

“You didn’t what? Look Jon, you better start telling the truth or you’ll make it worse for
yourself.” He said and I didn’t know what to do.

“He cheated on you in Germany Henri; he told me that he let that guy fuck his ass.” Tom said then. I looked at him opening my mouth. Oh God, I thought. Henri had never looked so mad.

“You fucking slut! You live here in my house, not giving me what I wanted from you and then you give it to some fucking German!” He screamed as Tom still stood by his side, looking quite pleased with himself.

“I...I’m so sorry Henri...I’ll never do it again. I...It was...I’m sorry...Please forgive me...Please.” I looked at him, trying to look like a lost innocent puppy. He didn’t however seem to buy it this time.
“Tom just fucking raped me!” I screamed desperately. Henri looked at me and then to Tom, who was still smiling.

“You did the one thing that I warned you about, and now you have to be punished.” He hissed and I could not believe my own ears, this was not the man I had known.

”But I, but...” I stammered.

“But, but?” He repeated wickedly. I tried to move past them, but Henri took a firm hold of me. “This wasn’t all...Dear...” He said bitterly.

“W-what wasn’t?” My voice was trembling; I could feel Tom moving behind me.

“The punishment.”

Chapter 2.

I stood there for a moment just looking into my boyfriends eyes, like looking for some kind of help in them. I was pleading him with my own eyes, searching the man that was suppose to have loved me. I looked at him and I knew that he was gone now. I struggled myself free from Henri’s hold and tried to flee, I really didn’t know were to go, I was half naked, I felt so dirty and I was still in pain after the last rape and now they were going to do it again? I hoped that I had more clothes on. Then I remembered the nice old lady living next door, she had always been so friendly with me, even when she knew that I was gay, it didn’t bother her. She could help me, I just had to get to her, get out of the apartment, just take my coat and run.

Henri was more quick, he stopped me from getting to the door, so I ran into the kitchen. They followed me there, I stood behind the table and I did realize that I could not escape, I was trapped. They saw this too. Tom smirked and so did Henry.
“Oh come now dear, you know that you can’t run from us.” Henri smiled. I looked around me, trying to find someway out of this, but still there was no such thing.
“Please Henri, please...I just...I leave okay? Just let me leave? I’ll pack my things and go to my parents...And I wont tell anyone what Tom did, please...” I tried not to cry, but the fear in my voice was clear.
“Let you leave?” Henri asked like he was really considering it. “Hm...No, I don’t think that I will...I want something from you and tonight I’m going to get it.” He said and smiled evilly. They came closer and I panicked; I dived under the table and crawled from under it, I ran to the living room, behind the couch. “Joonas, this is no time for such childish games...” Henri said looking at me.

I was crying now, I was scared, really scared. I remembered Alex, praying that I would have been with him now. I suddenly remembered one day with Alex, I had run from him, he had chased me. “If you catch me, you’ll get what you want from me.” I had told him. “Oh trust me, I’ll catch you” Alex smiled. “Well I would hope so.” We had laughed and finally I had let him catch me and make love to me, right there on the living room floor and I had enjoyed every minute of it. But now, this situation was totally different; no one was laughing, this was not a game, this was real.

I tried again make my way to the door, but this time Henri got a hold of me. He pulled me close to his chest and started to drag me into the kitchen. I struggled.
“No! Henri no!...” He forced me against the table, on to my stomach. He forced himself against me and I could feel his hard cock throbbing through his trousers. “No, oh God please no!” I cried.
“Oh honey, I’m going to fuck you now...I’ve waited for this such a long time.” There was no chance to flee now, he had me pinned against the table hard. I heard how he was opening his belt.
“no, no, no...” I couldn’t believe that this was really going to happen, but it was. “Help! For God’s sake someone help me!” I screamed from the top of my lungs hoping that some of our neighbors would hear me. Henri grasped my neck, squeezing it hard.
“Shut the fuck up, or I’ll kill you.” He said angrily. I wondered if I heard him right. Did he just say he would kill me? Henri? Henri said that he would kill me? Okay so who was this man and what had they done to my boyfriend?

Henri had opened his pants and pulled them down, he did the same with my boxers and kicked them all the way off of me. He spat on his hand and pushed two fingers inside. I cried.
“Good, you’re still slippery after Tom’s treatment.” Henri said happily and then shoved his cock inside me. I whimpered, it hurt, hurt like hell. I was still sore after Tom’s rape.
“Fuck that little slut, fuck him good.” Tom laughed. Henri took a firm hold of my hips and started thrusting inside me with only his own pleasure in mind. I felt sick and my legs were trembling.

Then the doorbell rang. Henri stopped moving inside me and groaned from irritation. The doorbell rang again. Someone must have heard my screaming I thought, I prayed that who ever it was, would have been wise enough to call the cops and on the other hand I didn’t want to be found like this.
“You better go see who it is Tom, tell them that it was just noise from tv or something, do not let them in.” Henri told, voice still little out of breath. He pulled out of me, but still held me on tightly, dragging me away from the table. He leaned against the wall, holding his palm against my mouth, my back was against him.

“Hello, I just came by to see if everything was alright in here, I heard screaming.” I heard Mrs. Lind asking, the sweet old lady that I was thinking of earlier.
“No, everything is alright, the tv was just on too loud, sorry about that.” Tom told her.
“Oh, is Joonas home?” She asked with doubt in her voice.
“No, he went to visit his parents. We’ll try to keep it more quiet, don’t worry, have a nice evening.”

The door closed. The hope was gone now.
“I trust you to stay more quiet now, right dear?” Henri asked, squeezing my body against his more firmly.
“Y-yes...” He dragged me into the living room.

“I think Tom would want to join our fun.” He said and kissed me with force, my lips began to bleed. He forced me down on my knees and hands and positioned himself behind me. He entered me once again. Tom came before me, opened his trouser ans grasped my hair roughly.

“Suck it.” He told me and I took his cock between my lips. They both were fucking me now. I would never have thought that something like this would ever happen to me, I guess no one really believes that it would ever happen to you; being raped I mean, and if that wasn’t bad enough, being raped by two men. Tom didn’t care of the chocking noises that I made, nor did Henri. They were enjoying this and they thought that I should be hurting, that this was indeed my punishment.

Finally Henri came inside me.
“Fuck that was good dear, I definitely want to that again later.” He told me. I couldn’t say anything to this. Tom was still fucking my mouth. All of a sudden, I saw a flash of light, Henri had taken a picture. Before I even truly realized this, Tom came on my face, luckily I had closed my eyes before that. Another picture. I tried to wipe the com away. I blinked in confusion. Feeling too tired and too much pain, I let myself fell on the floor in fatal position. I cried silently.

Henri however pulled my on my knees again. He looked straight into my eyes, grasped my jaw and kissed me. I had never felt more dirtier or humiliated as I did now. I truly felt like a whore.
“Tomorrow will be so much fun.” Henri grinned.
“To-tomorrow?” My voice sounded weak, I was still scared.
“Yes honey, we’re going to the cruise, remember?” He smiled.
“But...we...I mean I?” I didn’t understand, I didn’t want to. I had thought that the next thing that Henri would have told me was to pack my things and leave, but this? Never this.
“Yes we’re still going...I’m going to show you, your proper place. You’re going to do everything I ask you do to, my own little slut...” He spoke and bended my head back, his other hand was stroking my hair.
“I wont go with you! I’m going home...”
“Oh, but my dear, you are. Unless you want the photos that I just took to spread, what would your mother say, or your father?” He said still smiling. I cried, I didn’t want my parents to see those, to see me so humiliated.
“So what’s your choice?”
“I...no pictures, I’ll go...” Henri kissed me.
”Now there’s a good boy...You can go now, to clean yourself up.” He told me.

Chapter 3.

The next evening we sat in the terminal, waiting to get on board. I sat on Henri's lap; I kept my eyes down and my arms tightly against my body. Tom sat next to us, and there were three other of their friends with; Petri, Jani, and Lauri. They were are all looking at me, somehow hungry look in their eyes, I tried desperately to ignore them.

Henri grasped my chin and turned me to look at him.
“Come on babe, you should look happier.” He taunted and squeezed me more tightly. He kissed my lips, biting them slightly. The elderly people at the terminal, looked at us with shock, as Tom, and the others looked even more hungrier. I felt so a shamed. Everybody saw, everybody stared. They saw what I was; the slave of these older men; their whore. I stared at the floor once again. Henri laughed, and squeezed my thigh shamelessly up, making me startle.

We finally reached our suite on the eleventh deck. I had never been in a suite before; it was so big, and really beautiful, but at that moment I would have wanted to be anywhere else. I sat on the couch and stared into the emptiness. Henri and his friends started drinking. Lauri approached me, and finally he sat down beside me. He squeezed my thigh, stoked it with his hand, and finally moved it up to touch my genitals through my jeans.
“Damn, I haven't had this kind of young whore in ages.” He breathed out hoarsely. I tried to stand up,but he pulled me on his lap. He turned my head and kissed me hungrily, moving his hands all around me. I could feel his cock starting to grow in his pants.
“Fuck, I'm so hard, it's been such a long time since I last got some.” He said then, and the others laughed approvingly. His hands moved under my shirt, he kissed my neck and then sucked it, leaving marks. I tried squirming away, but with no use.

“What if we would go and get some supper, and then go to the night club, after that, we could have the real fun.” Henri suggested finally.
“Well, what ever you say Henri, after all, he's your whore.” Lauri said.
“I'm not his or anyone else's whore.” I tried. Henri walked closer to me, and pulled me up forcefully.
”Oh darling, but you are. The minute that you slept with that German, made you one.” He smiled as he said this, and I wanted nothing more than to scream out loud and hit him. But I held the urge in, knowing, that if I were to do that, they would probably do something much worse to me.


The dinner was pure torment. To outside, we must have looked like a regular group of friends, having fun, but had anyone come closer, listened to the silent whispers, they would have seen that it was anything but normal. My boyfriend groped me under the table, and I had lost my appetite a long time ago.
“Baby, you should eat something, you need your energy for what I have planned for you later.” He whispered and I started to feel sick.

“Why are you doing this to me Henri? I thought... I thought that you loved me.” I asked him, with a quiet voice.
“And I thought, that you loved me, but I was wrong, now wasn't I? I'll make you pay, no one cheats on me and gets away with it. You will be a whore to me, and I'll treat you accordingly, thrust me Jon.” He hissed. I tried to get up and leave, but he grasped my arm and pulled me back.
“Oh you're not going anywhere hon.” He smiled, looking at me. I looked at him with anger and hurt. “Do not make a scene Jon, not if you know what's good for you.” Henri told me. I looked at the people around us; happy family's, young people having fun, chatting and drinking, I wanted to scream from the top of my lungs, but instead I resigned quietly and stared at my plate with a blank expression.

Later that evening, we sat in the night club, Henri was holding me on his lap. They all showed me exactly where I stood in their eyes. They kept whispering their disgusting fantasies of what they were going to do to me later. They kept touching me, Henri was the one who did it the most, after all, I was his whore, or so they kept reminding me. At times he kissed me, squeezing my face, he kept talking to me in a way that just didn't feel right at all. Henri had been a nice man, he had been gentle and loving, where was he now?


The people who passed by, saw clearly what was going on. My cheeks went red with embarrassment, every time some elderly couple walked by and looked at us with shocked expressions. Three Swedish guys, sat on the near by table, they had been watching us earlier too. They looked like they were somewhere between the age 25-30, they looked at us really long, not even trying to pretend that they weren't. They whispered quietly to one another, and laughed.
“I think you got more admirers Jon.” Henri whispered to my ear stroking my thigh. I didn't say a word. Apparently he didn't like the fact that I was so silent, so un-responding, and so he squeezed me tighter against himself, he bended my head back and kissed me roughly. I let out a surprised yelp.

“Can I go get something to drink?” I asked finally.
“Alright baby, I think it's best for you to get a little more drunk before we start.” He smiled oddly and slapped my bottom as I stood up. I walked quickly towards the bar, I looked back, and then I started running. I ran down the stairs, and I dashed against some drunken teen-age girls on my way. The girls giggled and shouted something after me. Stupid brainless cows, I thought as I kept going. I came out to the deck, it was dark, windy and cold, but I kept on running, ignoring the signs that said; ‘Caution; slippery!’ Finally I stopped, I took a hold from the railing,trying to calm down my heavy breathing. I didn't know why I had ran there, we were on a ship, there was really no where to run. Sooner or later they would find me. And Rose Dewitt Bukarter thought that she had a problem?

I thought about Alex as I stood there. I thought of him and what we had done. I remember, how I was dressing my clothes back on, after one of those day visits. “Don't go yet...” Alex had asked,still laying on the bed. ”I would love to stay, but I have been 'shopping' now, for six hours. He's going to get suspicious. I mean I haven't even bought anything.” I told him with a smile. Alex had reached out to pull me back on the bed with him. ”Please Jo, stay... just 30minutes? Please... Tell him that you went sightseeing, tell him that you want to think about what you buy until tomorrow...Or do not go back to him at all and stay here.” Alex had asked me, as I was laying on top of him. His smile had been so beautiful. ”Stay here? Are you serious? I mean we have just met each others, this was suppose to be just sex...” “Yes...but, it's not just that now, is it? I know, that this is stupid, I know that we have just met...but God...I have never felt like this, ever...” We kissed. ”I didn't know that Germans could be so romantic.” I had whispered to him, with a smile and he had rolled me under him. ”Oh, yes... We are actually much more romantic than the French, peoples just don't realize that.” Alex had laughed.


“Hej!” I heard a male voice from behind me, I turned to look at him. It was one of those Swedish guys. I sighed as he approached me.
“What do you want? I don't speak Swedish.” I told him.
“I just wanted to talk with you, that's all.” He said, coming even closer. “My name is Sven.” He told me.
“Sven? Your name is Sven?” I asked him and started to laugh.
“Yes, what's so funny?” He really didn't get it, I thought it was the funniest thing ever; well, after I had drank two glasses of wine and four beers...

“Hej, jag är Sven från Sverige.” I said laughing. He rolled his eyes at me, staying quiet for a while and watching as I kept laughing.
“Right..."He muttered, I guess he didn't get the funny thing and you know what? I really don't know why I found it so funny anymore -oh the drunken mind... He must have wanted me really bad, even though I was acting like an idiot;he moved closer to me.
“What's your name?” Sven asked.
“Joonas.”
“That's a pretty name, you're pretty.” He told me and smiled.
”Oh, haven't heard that one before; What a great line.” I said with clear sarcasm in my voice. I concentrated on staring at the dark sea.
“Well, you are, I’m just being polite.”
“Well thanks.” I said, still not looking at him.
“I would love to offer you a drink.” Sven said next.
“Well I bet you would.”
“Come with me to my cabin?” He suggested. I had seen that one coming.
“No thanks. I don't want to fuck with you.” I told him and started walking away from him.

Then I saw Henri, but he hadn't seen me yet. I tried to think my options quickly and then I turned around to that Swedish guy.
“Hey wait!” I called, and he turned around too, looking a bit surprised. I took a hold of his hand and pressed myself against the nearest wall, I pulled him into a heated kiss. I kept praying that Henri wouldn't recognize me from behind him.
“What's this now?” Sven asked, raising one of his eyebrows.
“I-I changed my mind.” I spluttered, and pulled him back to the kiss, knowing that Henri came closer and closer. I did not know was this at all wise for me to do, but I guess I would soon find out.

Chapter 4.

Henri walked right past us, he didn't see me! I smiled with satisfaction as I looked at the quiet and lonely deck.
“Lets go. ” I was awakened from my happy thoughts as the Swedish guy started to drag me back inside the ship. The whole walk to his cabin, I was looking around me feeling paranoid, I was sure that Henri and his friends would be lurking somewhere, just waiting to get me.

When the cabin door close behind us, Sven was all over me. I pushed him away feeling annoyed.
“You promised, that I could have a drink.” I reminded him. He sighed and went to get me a cider. I sat on the bed, and took the cider that he offered. It was some bloody blueberry cider. I stared at the drink in my hand and then at the guy, who sat on the bed next to me, staring at me with stupid grin on his face. I sighed deeply. Well, alcohol is always alcohol, I thought and started drinking. I can tell you; there's nothing quite as horrid as warm blueberry cider.

Sven was stroking my thigh, looking at me expectantly. I glanced at him and stood up.
“Where are your friends?” I asked.
“Oh, I'm not sure. I guess that they're still at the club, don't worry babe.” He smiled.
“And do we expect them back anytime soon?” I asked. I could handle one guy, but the idea of three didn't exactly inspire me.
“No, I'm sure they'll take their time, before they come back... Just sit down babe, relax.” He urged tapping the spot next to him.
“I'll just visit the restroom, be right back.” I told him, and went into the bathroom, locking the door after me.


I was looking at my face through the mirror. What the fuck was I doing? All my stuff, my money, my passport were still in our suite. Which meant that I would have to go back there, and the longer I would stay away, the more angry Henri would get. Well that’s just fucking splendid Joonas, what a way to go... What the fuck was I suppose to do now?


When I finally came out, Sven was immediately ready and pulled me back onto the bed. He shoved me on my back onto the bed and climbed on top of me. He was kissing me like some starving animal. I found it hard to breath, his weight on top of my body felt a bit too much for me.


Then he sat up on my hips, starting to rip off my shirt. When he got that done, he undressed his own. I looked at him for a moment, still feeling a little out of breath. He was really muscular, his skin had an amazing tan, and he had some dark chest hair. He didn't look bad at all, I thought. He laid on top of me again, and I felt him starting to kiss and lick my neck, there was a gentle bite and then some sucking which I did try to stop but couldn't. The last thing I needed was more marks on my neck. He forced my legs to open and placed himself between my thighs. He was rocking his hips against my own and I could feel how hard he already was.

“You're so hot, I want to fuck you so fucking hard that you won't be able to sit for a week...” He moaned while he was opening my jeans. Okay, now I was beginning to feel a bit scared. I didn't want anymore of the same pain that I had just yesterday gone through.

I was gasping for breath as I felt him squeezing my cock.
“You like this don't you? Tell me how bad you want this?” I was whimpering, I hadn't even noticed that he had now managed to undress me completely. His skilled hands were working with my organ, making me to forget my fear. He slowed down, squeezing me from the base of my length. “Tell me.” He whispered again.
“Oh gods, I want this, more please, don't stop...don't stop.” I moaned and lifted my hips up more to meet with that pleasure. My head felt dizzy.

He was moving down, licking and kissing my body. He grasped my hips tightly and started sucking. Damn that felt good, much too good. I gasped, wriggled and moaned. Everything real disappeared somewhere, I couldn't think straight anymore. And just when I was about to cum, he stopped. I whined feeling unsatisfied, I wanted to cum, and I wanted it right now! He moved up, his legs on each side of my head, his jeans open, his hard cock out.

“You want more slut? Then suck my cock.” He said with thick voice and leaned so that his organ met with my lips. I opened my mouth and took it in. It tasted so salty. I lifted my head up slightly taking more of his length in. I decided to try and forget about all the troubles that haunted me.


Then I heard the cabin door opening and I startled. The door closed. A voice of a man said something in Swedish in a dialect so differentfrom what I had been used to, that I didn't understand a word. The only thing I did understand was Sven's name being mentioned. A second new voice laughed. I tried to squirm my way out from under Sven to locate my clothes. Sven laughed, pulled me to sit on his lap, holding me tightly.

“We're not done yet baby.” He told me and I could feel his cock throbbing against my butt. I gasped slightly, looking at the other two, I felt like a trapped animal. The men looked back at me with interest and lust. - Oh fuck...

”I need to go, my boyfriend is waiting...” I told them and tried to get up, but Sven had none of that.
”Your boyfriend? Why did you come with me, if you have a boyfriend? Finish what you started, not going back before we're done with you.” He whispered and started once again to stroke my organ, which was still hard for some reason. I couldn't help but to moan from pleasure. My vision darkened, I leaned my head back, against his shoulder. The other one of his friends, a man with short blond hair came closer and knelled onto the floor in front of me. He looked at my cock and licked his lips. Then he looked up to Sven, like asking for his permission. Then without a warn he took me into his warm mouth. I couldn't stop myself from enjoying this, I was so lost in that pleasure that I had forgotten what the situation really was.

I felt a lubed finger pushing inside me and I quivered a bit. Some small voice inside me tried to get the word; stop out from my lips, but it was too weak and got lost under the pleasure. I opened my eyes slightly.

The third man stood right next to me, his jeans were open and he was wanking himself. I looked down at the blond man between my legs, who was now licking and sucking my balls and at the same time massaging my cock with his hand. There was now two fingers inside me aiming to hit my prostate. I knew that I wouldn't last for long. My body was trembling. Sven turned my head and kissed me, his tongue exploring my mouth, his fingers still fucking my ass.
“Enjoying yourself now are we?” He asked then and nipped my earlobe.
“Mmmh...” Was all that I could manage.


The third man leaned down and started sucking and swirling my nipples with his fingers. I could only wriggle helplessly on Sven's tight grip. My body was enjoying every second of it.
“I'm going to cum...” I somehow managed to say.” The blond man took me back into his mouth and started sucking. I moaned loudly as I finally came into his mouth. The man swallowed every last drop. I was trying to calm down my breathing again and I opened my eyes carefully.

I was now beginning to understand the whole situation again as I looked at the dark man standing on my right, his cock standing as hard as a rock. The blond man on the floor was touching himself. Sven had his fingers still inside me, his other arm was around my waist keeping me from escaping.
“I didn't agree to this, to all of you.” I whined, but they had apparantly decided to ignore my opinion on this.

The blond guy sat on the bed next to Sven. They talked something in Sweden and finally Sven removed his fingers from inside me. He forced me to turn around to face him, my legs on each side of him. With the help of his friends he lifted me up and then back down again, forcing his cock deep inside me. My cries of pain were smothered by a strong dark hand on my mouth. I was quivering on his lap, my muscles contracting around his cock. The hand moved away, but before I could say a word the blond guy kissed me roughly. As the kiss ended, I gasped for breath once again, I was crying.
“You're so fucking tight...” Sven moaned.
“Stop...” My voice was weak. ”Nej.” I tried next, the only Swedish word that I could think of in that situation. I could almost hear the voice of my old Swedish teacher in my head, telling me that I should have done my homework more better.


The one of his friends said something, Sven seemed to agree. He took his cock out, forced me to lay on the bed on my back. He moved my legs up to his shoulders and penetrated me once more. His friend was holding my wrists. I was too scared, too paralyzed to even try to scream for help.

Sven was moaning and whispering something, he was aiming to hit my prostrate and it didn't take long for my cock to harden again. Then his body suddenly tensed and I felt his hot seed filling me. And then, only then, did I realize that he hadn't use a condom. He pulled out from inside me.
“You fucking bastard! Idiot!” I screamed and they only laughed at me.

I started cursing in Finnish and struggling even more. Sven grinned.
”A fiery little slut we have here, now haven't we?” The hold of my wrist tightened and the dark man took Sven's place between my legs. He was going to fuck me without condom too. I tried to escape, but couldn't. They still laughed.
”Don't worry we're all healthy and clean. Your boyfriend told us that so are you.” The dark man told me before thrusting his cock inside me. “What?!” I cried out. The pain was moving through my body. I was trying to deal with this new information, Henri had planned this? And he had known that I would take the bait? Oh fuck, now I really was in trouble...

Chapter 5.

My breathing is heavy, my body is glimmering from sweat. My stomach is sticky from my own cum and my tights are aching. I listen to the odd moans that the man on top of me is making. He starts to move faster, his nails dug into my flesh. His body tens and then he comes.

He lays on top of me and I can finally lower my legs. I've never been as tired as I am now. It feels like my body would weight a ton and even moving a finger would be too much to ask.

He pulls himself out of me and I can feel how my open hole is throbbing. I feel so empty and weird. I can't move. Sven turns to lay on his side. It was the third time that he fucked me. I wonder if he's had enough? I hope so, I've definitely had enough. His friends have already fallen asleep. I wonder if I can even walk anymore? I turn to lay on my stomach, it feels slightly better now. I know that I wouldn’t be able sit, the mere thought of it is too much for me to even think.

Sven strokes my sweaty back slowly and I'm too tired to say a word. I turn my head and I look at him through half opened eyes, he looks back at me. He grins, his hand is squeezing my buttocks. I try to comfort myself with the fact that he can't get it up again so soon and that he must be tired by now. If I'd have the strength I'd scream from pain when he slaps my bottom hard. I only let out a small whimper, silent tears in my eyes.

”Does it hurt? I bet that you can't sit up for a week.” He grins and I think I must agree with that.”Just to let you know, you are the best fuck I've ever had.” He whispers next. I'm too tired to say anything. My eyelids finally gave in and I fall asleep.



I don't know how many hours I've been sleeping, Sven is sleeping next to me, his arm around my waist. Slowly and carefully I rose up from the bed. Every move that I make brings pain to me. I swear quietly. I walk into the bathroom and it takes some effort from me. I need a shower and I just can't find the energy to care if they wake up to the sound or not.

I use soap,washing my whole body carefully. The soap stings when it reaches my sore bum. There must be some small cuts in there, and I'm not surprised after all that fucking.Luckily there's not any bigger harm done. I dry myself carefully and start dressing my clothes on.

When I'm done, I step outside from the small bathroom. I blow-dry my hair, I feel glad that none of them woke up to the sound. I saw a small can of wax on the table and decide to use it as well. It seems that my own vanity can never die. I give myself a weak smile, as I fix my hair in front of the mirror.

If I happen to run into Henri, which I think I can not avoid, it's best for me to look as good as I can and not like I've just had wild sex with three strange men. Wild but non-consensual sex; my mind remembers to add. I blame myself for going with Sven, it was a stupid thing to do. Although it seems that no matter what I would have done last night I still would have ended up being raped, but by different persons. Something like this was never suppose to happen to me. Why did it?

I sigh and I concentrate all my energy into walking as normally as I can. I walk along the empty corridor, taking support from the wall next to me. I have to stop for a moment to take few deep breaths.
“Go on Joonas, you can do this.” I tell myself with a quiet whisper. I bite my teeth's together, walking has never felt as difficult as it feels now. It's only six in the morning, I stop and stand in front of a window, I wouldn't even dare to try and sit down. I feel unpleasant pain down on my bum. I hiss quietly and try to stand more comfortably.

I'm so incredibly tired, I feel tears in my eyes. I should have stayed in Germany like Alex had asked. I take my cell phone from my jeans pocked and search his number. I knew that I would most likely wake him up, but I needed to hear a friendly voice, someone who cared and who would understand. Alex is my only option as I couldn't bare to talk with my parents in the state that I was in.

“Alex.” He answered with sleepy voice, I heard him yawning. I was quiet for awhile and then I started to cry.
”Jo? Is that you? What's wrong honey?”
“Henri he knows...he found out and he...” I cried.
“Did he do something to you? Where are you?” He asked and his voice sounded really worried.
”I'm such a whore...” I cried, only now starting to understand everything that had happened, now that I heard his voice.

”Jo, hon, please tell me what happened, tell me where you are?” He asked.
”I'm... we're on a ship, on our way to Stockholm. I don't know what to do Alex, I don't know where to go. If I go back there, he'll do it again, and I can't take it anymore, I just can't...” I started to sound a bit hysteric.
“Calm down, what has he done to you?” He asked and I could hear how he had to force himself to try and stay calm.
”They... Henri and his friend, they forced themselves on me... I couldn't stop them, I tried, but I couldn't and then I... I'm in such a big of a mess right now, I don't know what to do Alex...Help me.” I asked although I did understand that it would be quite impossible for him to help me when he was there ans I was here.
”Those fucking bastards, I'll kill them Jo, swear to God I will... Okay so, can you... uh, Do you have your passport with you?” Alex asked.
”Yes. But it's in our cabin.” I told him weakly.
”Just try to get your stuff, and go to the Stockholm airport and take the first flight here, call me when you know when the plain gets here, and I'll come to pick you up. Can you do this honey?” He asked and his voice sounded so gentle that I almost started to cry again because I missed him so, because I needed him so.
”I-I don't know, I'll try.” I answered.

Then I felt someones hand on my shoulder and I looked up in surprised fear.
“Here you are, I've been looking for you.” Henri said and smiled in an unpleasant manner. I quickly hung up my phone and stuffed it back into my pocket.
“I'm sorry...” I whispered and hated myself for it. Why should I say that I'm sorry after what he and his friend had done to me? Henri slapped my face.
“You've been giving your ass to foreigners again, haven't you? I can see that you need a better lesson dear...” He hissed and started to drag me into the suite. I cried and trembled in his iron like grip.

“Out!” He shouted to his friends as he threw me on the bed with force. His friends looked at him in confusion of why they wouldn't get to share this 'fun.' But Henri wouldn't give them any explanations.

When they finally left, Henri climbed on top of me.
“I decided that I wouldn't share you with anyone anymore. You're mine Jon, mine to do what I please with.”He whispered and kissed me with force.

******************’

Four days later:

I sat on Henri's lap in the living room. He was drinking his beer and stroking my thigh as he watched tv. Tom sat on the armchair next to the couch looking at me and smirking. My lips were slightly bruised and I had a big bruise on my left cheek. My clothes covered the rest of my bruises that were on my hips, my arms and on my inner thighs. I felt like I would have been caught in some cheesy and depressing Finnish movie; that would have been the miss treated 'wife' of an alcoholic man. Sitting on my ‘husbands’ lap, staying silent, bringing him a beer when he asks and opening my legs when told to do so.

The doorbell rang.

“Go and see who it is babe.” Henri told me. He slapped my bottom as I stood up. I didn't say a word.
I opened the door keeping my eyes down. I was surprised to feel a gentle hand touching my chin, lifting my face up. My blue eyes met with the concerned brown ones. Alex frowned, his lips tightened into a thin line as he looked towards the living room.
“I'll kill them.” He hissed and stepped further in.

Henri walked into the hall and looked at Alex with surprised expression.
“Who the fuck are you?” He asked and took a sip of his beer.

”Jo, go and pack your bags, you're coming with me.” Alex said with firm voice looking angrily at Henri.
”Oh he's not going anywhere.” Henri said and pulled me close to his chest. Alex started shouting something in Germany and then he lift his fist up and hit Henri straight to his nose. Henri cried out from pain, his nose was bleeding. He took few steps back.
I looked with admiration at my German savior. Damn Germans can be scary if they want to. But I wasn't scared of him, it looked however, that Henri should be.


”Go Joonas, go and pack, I'll deal with him.” Alex urged me with a grin on his face as he looked at Henri's bleeding nose. I decided that he didn't need me and so I did what he told me. I glanced at him over my shoulder once more; he was so handsome, so tall, so strong and so angry. Angry to the men, who hurt me;
My hero.

Chapter 6.

”What the fuck; did your lover come here to play some kind of a hero?” I heard Tom's voice asking from behind me, as I was in the bedroom packing up my clothes. I turned to look at him and I listened to the voices of arguing coming from the hall. Henri called Tom to come and help him. Anger burned in Tom's eyes, he grasped me tightly and forced me to move into the hall with him.

“Let go of my friend, or I swear I'll brake this sluts neck.” Tom snapped at Alex, who had just kicked Henri to the groin and held him up from his shirt collar. Alex looked at Tom in disgusted anger. Tom had his strong arms wrapped around my throat and he started squeezing, I struggled to breath, I tried desperately to make him release his hold on me. I felt tears in my eyes and for a moment I thought that I was really going to die.
”I suggest that you release Jo now, or your friend and you, will be very sorry.” Alex hissed. Tom started to laugh.
”Really now? You and what army is going to do that?” He asked. Alex smiled oddly, then he looked towards the door.

“This army.” He said, Tom turned to look at the same direction, his hold around my neck loosened as he stared at the arrivals in shock. I saw two tall and muscular men with short dark hair standing at the doorway.
”Sorry that we took so long Alex, had to park the car... So, these two are the rapist?” The other one asked, Tom let go of me completely and I rushed away from him. I glanced quickly at Henri, who looked back at me in agony, he tried saying something to me, but failed. He couched, holding his stomach, hardly having the ability to stand up straight.
”Alex you can go and help him to pack, we deal with them. After all, we are fair guys, two against two, that's a fair fight, don't you think?” The other one said next, looking at Tom and Henri. Alex nodded, walked over to me, touching my shoulder gently.

“Are you alright?” He asked with worry, I could only nod, I still had difficulty breathing normally, tears clouded my vision. “Come, lets get your stuff together.” He said then and walked with me to the bedroom. Everything felt so unreal.

”So, I think these are your clothes?” Alex asked, he held some jeans and shirts in his hands, that he had taken out from the closet. I stared at him and finally nodded my head. I just stood there, hardly understanding what was happening. I watched how he folded my clothes neatly to my pack that I had already placed on the bed. He looked at me then, smiled gently and walked closer. ”It's okay now, everything is alright Jo.” He told me and kissed my forehead, he brushed my blond hair softly
”You came here, all the way here, for me?” I managed to ask with coarse voice.

”Of course, how could I just stay back, knowing that my blue eyed angel is suffering over here? I would always come, no matter how far, for you I would do anything.” He whispered. I think I blushed lightly, I lowered my eyes, feeling insecure, feeling ugly, not worthy. He shouldn't be looking at me like that, how could he feel that way about me?
“I'm hardly an angel.” I whispered back. I felt his hands on my cheeks, he lift my face up to look at him, I broke down in tears. He wrapped his arms around me and hugged me tightly.
“It's okay, everything is alright, they won't hurt you again, no one is going to hurt you anymore. I'll make sure of that Jo, I promise.” I held on to him, crying for all the pain that I had suffered. In his arms I felt safe and he held me, he would hold me for as long as I needed to be held.



Later, we sat in a car on our way to a hotel. I sat next to Alex, my head resting on his shoulder, he stroke my hair in a soothing way.

“Is the little one doing okay over there?” One of Alex friends asked from the front seat. I looked at him, knowing that the question was directed to me. Well, I was the youngest and smallest out of the four of us, so fine, let them call me little one.
“I'm fine, thank you, for everything.” I told him, trying to smile.
”It's quite alright, those guys had it coming. Rapist are the scum of the earth, makes my blood boil from anger.” He said and Alex and the other guy agreed with him. I snuggled closer to Alex, we hadn't known each others long, but he made me feel safe, there was something in him that calmed me.

”We'll go to explore the night-life here, you two better get some rest.” The one who was driving said as he left us at the hotel. He winked at Alex.
”We will, see you guys tomorrow.” Alex said and took my hand in his, I followed him inside, waited for him when he got the key from the reception. I noticed that the man who gave him the key looked at us in a funny way, I wrapped my arms around myself, guessing what the guy was thinking. I suddenly felt like a gay prostitute. I noticed that I was also getting some curious looks from other hotel guests; it must have been because of my bruised face.

*

”Are you hungry Jo?” Alex asked, I sat on the bed dressed in a soft, white bathrobe, since I had just gotten out of bath.
“A little.” I admitted.
“What would you like? I'll call the room service.” Alex was looking at me. I was playing with the lace of my bathrobe.
”Um, French bread, cheese, maybe some fruits and stuff like that. But anything is just fine really.” I told him with quiet voice. Alex took the phone and called; ordering everything I had asked and some white wine with it. He sat next to me on the bed, I felt some what insecure and couldn't meet with his eyes.

“Maybe we should go to the police tomorrow? Send those guys to jail for what they did to you.” He asked quietly. I shook my head, drawing my knees close to my chest.
“I... I don't think that I could go through it, would they even believe me? Besides, you already battered them up pretty badly and if we were to go to the police, things could backfire; they could charge you for assaulting them.” I told him. Alex fell quiet for a moment, I could feel his eyes on me.

“I'm so sorry Jo, I wish I could make it so that it would never have happened to you.”
“So do I.”
“Do you want to talk about it?” He asked. A knock on the door interrupted us.

“Room service.” A voice of a woman called. Alex sighed and stood up. He opened the door for her. The woman was looking at us with curiosity, she placed the food on the table and smiled. I bet that she was wondering about what would happen after she would have left the room, I could almost read all the dirty thoughts running in her head.“Have a nice evening.” She said then with a smile and left us after Alex had thanked her.

Alex brought some food for me on a plate and a glass of wine. I ate slowly, I didn't have much of an appetite, even though I felt little hungry. I drank the wine and Alex filled my glass again. He sat next to me, quiet, I knew that he was waiting for me to say something.
“I'm not sure what to tell you Alex.” I started.
“It's alright, you don't have to tell me anything if you're not ready, just know that I'm here for you.” He touched my hand that was resting on my lap. I looked at him, tears burning in my eyes. “It's alright.” He kept telling me. He pulled me into a hug and allowed me to cry against his chest.

“I know that I did wrong when I slept with you when I was still together with him. I shouldn't have done it, I should have left him and I'm not sure why I didn't. But what's done is done and maybe I deserved what happened to me.” My voice was husky after all the crying

“No, you didn't deserve it Jo, don't think like that. They had no right to do that to you, no matter what you did; what we did.” Alex interrupted me. I close my eyes and felt new tears falling down on my cheeks.

“I couldn't believe what was happening... After you called me that night, Tom told me that he found out everything, and he... He was the first to rape me, Henri came home and I thought...” My voice broke, I was trembling. Alex continued holding me. I found the strength to continue. “I thought that he'd help me, that he'd be mad to Tom for what he had done to me, but instead...” I swallowed hard. “...Instead he was angry at me, told me that I deserved to be punished and so he raped me as well. They both did.” I could hear that Alex was crying as well, he was tense, but kept quiet so I continued, if I wouldn't tell him all of it now, then I never would. “On the cruise, Henri had his friends with us and he planned on sharing me with all of them, I ran and I went to a cabin with one guy, he wanted to have sex with me, I thought that it would be better to sleep with just him than to be raped by all of them, but in the end I still ended up being raped, by this guy and his two friends. Henri had apparently planned it with them, next morning when I called you, Henri found me, there's no use of telling the details, just that these last few days have been horrible, just simply horrible.” Silence followed, I was scared of what Alex would be thinking, would he think that I was a slut for going with that guy freely? Would he think now that it was indeed my own fault.

“I wouldn't blame you Alex, if you'd leave and if you'd never want to hear from me again. I want to thank you for what you did though, I don't know what I would have done if you hadn't shown up today like you did.” I spoke quietly and pulled away, I couldn't look at him, scared of what I would find in his eyes.
“Jo, do you honestly think that I'd come all this way and then leave you, just like that?” I heard him asking. I glanced at him, saw the tears in his eyes. He touched my cheek. “How can any one do something like that, I'll never know. All I know is that I'll never let them near you again.” Now that I looked at him, I knew that he truly did care for me. Why? I never know, but at that moment it didn't matter.

“So what happens now?” I head myself asking.
“I'd like for you to come with me to German. I know that this comes quickly and this must be worst time to ask, but would you... uh, this is going to sound so silly, so fourth grade, but will you be my boyfriend? Move in with me?” He asks, his serious expression is just too adorable, but I can hardly believe my own ears. Did he just ask me to be his boyfriend? To move to Frankfurt? “I, there would be no rush you know, we could take things as slow as you'd want. I wouldn't expect that you... That you'd be ready anytime soon to, you know?” He slaps himself in the head. “Oh I must sound like an idiot.” He sighs. I look at him and I can't help but to laugh. He looks a bit scared of my strange reaction, so I hug him.

“Oh Alex, are you even real?” I ask and then I realize how that might sound. “Would you really have me? I mean after what I just told you?”
“Yes, I came here for you Jo... And I think I love you, even though I haven't known you for that long. I want to protect you, to keep you safe.” I started crying again in his arms, but this time for a different reason.“Yes, I'll go with you Alex, I'll be yours.” I whispered, he took my face between his hands and kissed me all over, ”Honey, I'm going to treat you so nice, that you never want to leave.” He whispered and we laughed and we cried, holding on to each others, kissing and whispering. I knew that eventually I'd get better again, I knew that he would be the one to heal my wounds and little by little I knew that I would fell more and more in love with him. With him, once I would heal enough, I would be happy, I truly believed that I would.

END

Web published: My Secret Shore

© KOLGRIM 2006 - 2007

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