Chapter 14.

Maybe I should have gone to my sister’s place instead of home, I think as I step inside and start removing my shoes.

“Jesse?” My mother calls with tired voice from the living room.
“Yeah mom, it’s me.” I hear her footsteps coming closer. She looks tired, dressed in her baby blue silk robe that dad got her for last Christmas. I forgot that she would wait up for me like she did before when I lived at home.

“I was worried, do you realize what time it is?” She asks.
“5.30?” I offer, trying to hide my face.
“Yes it’s 5.30 am and I’ve been worried sick about you, I couldn’t sleep, Jesse. Why aren’t you answering your cell?”
“I-, I didn’t hear it ring.” I mutter, feeling guilty, she always manages to make me feel guilty and she always manages to make me feel so young. I hate this feeling.
She sighs. I try to sneak past her to the bathroom. Honestly, I’m a grown man, I’ve lived on my own for a year and still she still treats me like a baby sometimes, times like these.
“Where were you?” She asks, following me.
“Mom, I really need to use the bathroom, may I, please?” I ask with annoyed voice.
“Alright, I still want to talk with you though, and I'll fix you something to eat, you must be hungry.”

I look at my face in the mirror; my right cheek is bruised from the hit I took. Great, just fucking great. Then I realise that I could be looking much worse right now and suddenly a small bruise is not that big deal, though it does sting.

“Oh my God, What happened to your face?” Mom asks once I get to the kitchen. She reaches out to touch me.
“Oh that? It’s nothing really, I was-“
“Did Joni hit you, because if he did then I’ll swear to God that…”
“No, he did not.” I answer quickly.

“Well someone obviously did and I want to know who.” She says and sits down opposite me. I can’t think of what to answer, I just stare at the two cheese sandwiches and a glass of milk placed on the table in front of me.
“I don’t want to talk about it, it’s nothing, it happened and now it’s over and I’ll never see that guy again.” I shrug my shoulders.
“Nothing you say? Some man hit my baby and he says it’s nothing!”
“Mom, please…” I really don’t want to go back there. “I’m fine, I am, it’s just a small bruise.”

“Where is this world coming to?” She asks shaking her head. “All the criminals roaming down the streets, I told you to be careful Jesse… oh honey, you shouldn’t be out so late, I’ve read the papers you know, just last week some girl was found dead; murdered! And… You didn’t go with strangers did you sweetheart? Haven’t I warned you about strangers, those sexual predators going after young people and….”
“Mom, please stop. I’m fine; see.” She looks at me.
“A bruise on your face does not make you fine.”
“I’m tired, don’t feel that hungry. Um, I’ll talk with you tomorrow, okay mom? And I really am fine, it was just a stupid thing, an accident really. I was just standing at the wrong place at the wrong time.” I kiss her forehead. “And you should stop waiting up to me, I’m a grown man already, I’ll soon find my own place again. I love you mom.”

“You’re a teenager, that’s what you are. And I will never stop worrying about you no matter how old you are, or where you live. Mothers just work that way sweetie, who knows, maybe someday you’ll understand.” She smiles just a little. I look at her not sure what to say so I just whisper her a good night. “Sleep well.” She answers.


My sleep is restless, too many thoughts, too much stress. I think of Joni and then I keep thinking about Marko; I'm still so confused. It shudders me to think what might have happened just few hours ago if Marko hadn't shown up when he did.

I don’t think that I even thanked him properly I was just too ashamed of the whole situation. I wonder what he thinks of me now and why the hell do I worry about what this male Paris Hilton thinks about me? Then I remind myself that he really isn’t the brainless blond that I used to think he was. But still, he is the guy my boyfriend cheated on me with…ex-boyfriend, I quickly correct myself… Anyway I shouldn’t be thinking about him, I shouldn’t be thinking about how soft his lips are, I shouldn’t be thinking of the prettiness of his eyes that sometimes seem to change their color, are they more green or blue? I haven’t been able to make up my mind on that… This is so frustrating! I can’t get him out of my mind! -Why? I should be thinking about Joni more than him, didn't I love Joni? Didn't that guy just break my heart? If so, then why am I thinking about the guy half responsible for this?... What am I supposed to do? What am I suppose to feel?

**^^**^^**^^**^^**

Marko:

I try to be quiet when I step in, if I’m lucky, dad has passed out from drinking. But of course I can never be lucky, luck has never walked by my side. I hear him coughing. I walk into the kitchen to get myself a glass of water. I hear his footsteps, soon his figure emerges at the doorway. I glance at him quickly, feel his stare on me, the despise he feels for me.
“The whore is back I see.” He says with drunken voice, I remain quiet. I hear him coming closer and turn around quickly to face him. He looks at me. “Did they even pay you?” He asks then. I grit my teeth together.
“Yes father, they paid me well, more money than you can ever imagine. It was an orgy, great orgy, I’m hardly able to sit anymore.” I answer; whatever I do or say, he insist on calling me a whore, so fine, let it be so. “There was a group of foreigners, all of them black.” I start then, immediately his face darkens, I smile at him. “They all fucked me and I begged for more, I begged papa.” That’s when he slaps my face hard.
“Stupid worthless whore, you truly are like her!” He shouts and I quickly leave to my room. Locking the door after me, I can still hear him shouting. Tears fill my eyes, there was a time, such a long time ago, when we were a family. A time when he held me in his arms, telling me he loved his golden son, telling me how proud he was of me. Those times are lost in the ashes forever…

Slowly I undress myself, draw the curtains down as there’s too much light coming from outside. I lie down, I think of him. Poor Jesse, he is just too sweet for a world like this. He is so good, so innocent, I wanted to kill that guy for trying to take that away from him. You can abuse and use me, but leave the sweet people like Jesse out of it. I love him. I wish I hadn’t been such an arsehole and slept with Joni. But what’s done is done, it can’t be changed and I am alone with my father who hates my guts. What the fuck am I going to do with my life?


**^^**^^**^^**
Jesse:

Okay, I just can’t let it go. I just have to see him, I have to thank him, I cannot get my peace before I have. This has nothing to do with that sweet arse of his and my urge to squeeze it…ups…Really, ignore that thought…

So here I am, after some searching I have the home address of Marko Lilja and I’m standing in front of the very door that would lead me to him, into his life. I ring the doorbell with a trembling hand. I hear voices, I hear someone walking closer. The lock turns open, the door soon after it. Green blue eyes stare into mine in surprise.
“Jesse.” He breaths out.
“Hey.”
“Who is it Marko? Another one of those men? Coming to tell you what a worthless whore you are?” A man’s voice calls from inside. Marko looks embarrassed; he opens his mouth, looks back.
“I love you too dad!” He says then, surprising me.

“Come in.” He says and steps from my way, keeping the door open. I do as he says, the door closes after me. There’s a moment of uncomfortable silence. “How are you Jesse?” He asks looking at my cheek; the bruise is starting to fade, but I see one on his cheek.
“I’ fine, but you…” I start, he brings his hand to touch the bruise on him.
“It's nothing, nothing new Jesse, just ignore it, I know most people do,” He looks around, I hear the footsteps of another nearing. Marko takes my hand quickly. “Come, let’s go to my room.” He says. I kick my shoes off in a hurry and follow him.

He closes the door and locks it.
“Sorry, I’m not going to jump on you or anything by locking the door, it’s just to keep my dad from bugging us….Um, so…?” He looks at me and sits on his bed. I quickly take a look around in the room; a poster of a Johnny Depp, one with Brad Pitt, a computer, desk, a bed… green and blue…
“Johnny Depp is my favorite actor plus he’s hot and Brad Pitt… Well, he’s hot and he’s a good actor too.” He explains.
“Yeah.” I smile and take a look of the bookshelf that actually does carry books on it.
“I like to read sometimes, I guess that surprised you, huh?” He asks. I smile at him.
“It did yeah, sorry...”
“No problem, I do act silly quite often so no wonder…” He says and smiles back. ”You can sit down, you know.” He says then.

“Oh, right,” I sit on the bed edge, leaving some space between us.
“So?” He says and only then I realise that I’ve been quiet for quite some time.
“Oh, um… yes... I- I wanted to thank you Marko, for what you did… For…” I look at him nervously.
“There’s no need to thank me, Jesse.” He says. “I’m sorry that I didn’t get there sooner…” He stops in mid sentence, stops to listen. “My dad.” He whispers then.

“Do you want me to take my clothes off?” He suddenly asks.
“Wha-?” He places his finger on my lips.
“Like this, you want me to do it like this? Mmm… Oh yes, you’re so hot Jesse, ah…give me more, more!” I look at him as though he’s lost his mind. “Do it baby, now, now! Aaah!” He starts jumping on the bed making it creak. His lips are open and he’s moaning, suddenly he opens his eyes, looks at me. “Move with me…” he whispers and takes my hand. I don’t know why I do it, but suddenly I’m there, jumping on the bed as well. I listen to his moaning, I watch the look on his face; disturbingly erotic and suddenly I feel myself being rock hard. How the hell does he do this?
“Oh yes, harder, harder, right there, that’s the spot oh baby! AAAHH” And then he drops on his back on the bed and giggles. I hear hurried steps from behind the door, some horrified muttering. I look at him with my mouth open, it’s my dick that does the thinking now.
“Would you like to go out with me, on a date?” I ask quickly.

Chapter 15.

God my head hurts, maybe I overdid again? The drinking I mean… I groan as I try opening my eyes; why is it so bloody dark? Last night after seeing Jesse, I was quite pissed off, well more like upset really, and so I drank, and I drank…I don’t remember much what happened… In fact I don’t remember how I got home, for example.

I try to move, but somehow I can’t. Exhausted I let my forehead meet with the pillow, I still can’t see a thing, and my eyes are open, I’m quite sure that they are… My arms are aching, probably have slept in this same position all night and that is why the ache so badly. I try to move them, from above my head, but again, something stops me.

Well, this is weird. I try to turn around, so that I would lie on my back, but no… I can’t do that either. Alright… Take a deep breath. Wait a minute… This is not how my home smells like…

“Finally awake, I see?” A man’s voice suddenly says, the accent… The man certainly isn’t Finnish. I snap my head to the voice and then it becomes perfectly clear to me; the reason I can’t see is because I’m wearing a blindfold, reason I can’t move my arms or turn around is because they have been tied up onto the bedpost with a robe.

“Who the fuck are you? I demand you to untie me this instant.” I spit tensely, trying to pull my arms free, with no success.
“Don’t you remember?” The voice asks, amused. I feel as he sits down on the bed, unnerving feeling. At least I’m not like completely nude; there’s a blanket drawn up to my waist and I can feel that I’m wearing boxers. “Oh well, I suppose it’s all the alcohol you drank last night, I won, you see.”
“Won what?”
“I drank you under the table just like I told I would, but you didn’t seem to believe me and…”
“And?!”
“And so I won Joni. I get the prise, well I would have, but you passed out and being the gentleman that I am, I thought it would be decent to wait until you wake. Now you finally have.”

A soft breeze, the blanket is drawn away, I feel cold.
“I don’t remember this, you’re nuts, and you’ve won nothing.”
“Aww, and you were such a good boy last night…”
“Boy, I’m no fucking boy to you.” The voice of this person; he can’t be much older than I am. His hand moves on my butt and starts rubbing it. “Hey, take your bloody hand off!”
“But I won, we made a bet and I won, are you really such a poor loser that you’re going to deny it from me?”

I try desperately to remember the events of the previous night, but I can’t. The voice does sound somewhat familiar, but I can’t get the face. Who is this guy? What if he’s some horribly fat, ugly and sweaty Russian? Oh God, I could just throw up from the mere thought. But the fact is that he has a voice nice enough and there is no way I would go voluntarily with some ugly bastard…

What if I’ve been drugged? Kidnapped? What if this guy wants… to steal my liver!?! And my other organs and sell them in the black market, oh horror!… Then he starts removing my boxers and I wake to the reality of things; I’m soon without any clothes whatsoever, I’m lying on my stomach, my wrist tied onto the bedpost, tightly together… It is not my liver that he’s after … Oh dear God; my cherry!!!


“Hey, stop it!” I try to struggle myself free, not really realising how pointless it is. He pulls my boxers down to my ankles and then removes them completely and chuckles.
“I’m not going to rape you.” He whispers to my ear as he runs his hand down on my spine to my buttocks. Somehow I’m not that convinced…

“Let me go! What do you think you’re doing?” I feel his finger caressing the skin around my opening… He can’t, he couldn’t? I’m always the top, never the bottom, NEVER!
“Now Joni, we had so much fun last night, don’t you remember? We even washed for this, you wanted it… You so wanted this…”
“You fucking liar!”
“The agreement Joni…” I can hear how he enjoys this by the sound of his voice, his finger; teasing my hole. “I promised to get you drunk; I said I have some vodka, remember that?” I shake my head as a no. Groan as his finger slowly moves in.

“Well we got here…mmmh” He starts moving his finger inside me, nothing that I do will help me to get it out. “You are tight, aren’t you?” He purrs.
“You fucking bastard!”
“That’s not what you said last night, I believe that last night you were quite…quite lustful in fact, where is that lustful man I brought in here?”
“Fuck…” I grit my teeth’s together as a second finger is added.
“Indeed… Anyway, the deal was that the one who drinks the other one under the table gets to be the top… And you agreed, but unfortunately, before I could claim my win, you had passed out completely. And trust me when I say, last night you were wanton. I think you even wanted me to win,” I can almost see the grin on his face, I just wish I knew what kind of a face it was.

“That’s ridiculous, I- I don’t do this, I won’t do this! I’m not going to take it up there.” The guy is obviously making things up, there’s no way I would ever want to take it up my arse, just no way.
Though I do dimly remember Jesse saying something similar to me once, once that we had been drinking and next morning he claimed that I would have promised to let him top me, that I had even suggested it… But honestly; they all lie! Lie I tell you!
“Ah, but my dear, you will enjoy this, I will make sure of that.” His fingers move out, thank God! Though by what he said, I-… Suddenly I feel the oil on me, there; inside and his fingers return.

“Take them off! Let me go!”
“You sure whine a lot, don’t you?” He chuckles again as he shoves his fingers deeper and harder, I moan helplessly. Oh God it feels good, I feel myself harden and I bury my face against the pillow. I can’t believe I’m actually starting to enjoy this.

“Please, just tell me:are you fat?” I can’t help myself, the idea of some fat bastard taking my cherry, while I lay there helplessly is just too horrifying. Again he laughs, pulls his fingers out, I feel as he moves on the bed and suddenly there is another body on top of mine, silky and warm skin and definitely no fat.
“Do I feel like fat to you?” He purrs to my ear, and moves his hips so that his cock rubs my buttocks; he’s huge! I bit my lip and only shake my head. I am beginning to enjoy this situation far too much. I’m sick, sick, sick. This guy has me tied down and blindfolded, he could do what ever he wants, he could kill me, rape me, anything and I’m aroused?! I have no memory of this guy or what happened, I do not know where I am. I’m completely under this stranger’s mercy, stranger with a sexy voice and what appears to be quite a sexy body… It’s like I’m not sure if I should be more frightened or aroused. My heart beats madly as he groans and as his cock teases my opening. I’m trembling, not sure what I want anymore.
Suddenly he moves down and starts licking my skin, my butt. Again his thumb moves in and out.
“You bastard.” I try hissing at him, but it’s more like a moan of pleasure. Then he bites me, he bloody bites me! I scream and snap my head up, trying to kick him off, but he stays like that nipping and sucking on my left buttock and most definitely bruising me, leaving a mark.
“You fucking piece of shit! You fucking crazy arse!” I yell, he holds me in place by grasping my hips, still not letting go; that bruise will last for weeks! Then he finally stops and laughs quietly, stroking the bruised skin.
“You do have a bad mouth, I should spank you.” He says then, moves his hand on my right buttock and slap! Again I scream and again he laughs.
“You annoying dick! I’m supposed to leave with my family to a cabin this weekend, how do you expect me to go to the sauna with my father with that biting bruise on my arse?!” He chuckles.
“Does your father often stare at your arse?” He asks, close to my ear again. God he is an annoying prick.
“Well it’s kind of hard not to notice when one is naked!”
“True, and that was the reason why I did bite you, I like to mark what is mine.” There is this annoying sweetness in his voice.
“Yours!? Well I ain’t one of them, so leave my butt alone.”
“You’ll soon be mine, and that does not include leaving your precious butt alone, very much the opposite I’m afraid.” I hear as he takes something, he sits on my butt, one leg each side. A condom?

After a moment he lies back against me, his hand guiding the head of his hard organ on my prepared opening.
“Don’t you even try…” I hiss as a warning.
“I want your cherry… are you ready?”
“No!” I hiss as he starts thrusting in, failing at first, but then using more strength he gets the head in and I scream. He places his hands on my hips again, another deep thrust and he’s in completely. Tears fill my eyes, it bloody hurts! And I can’t believe that guy just stole my cherry, I’ve managed to keep my arse’s virginity this long; for 23 years! And now some fucking Russian, who’s obviously interested in some bondage action, stole it!!! Uuh, I’m mad as hell.

“It will be okay, just relax, soon you’ll enjoy this,” He whispers. First thrusts are painful then the pain eases, it feels strange, uncomfortable perhaps… I tremble under him and moan quietly. Then suddenly he finds my sweet spot; my moans of pain change into moan of pleasure. My erection returns to full power.
I find myself soon begging him to move faster and harder and he does. It is somehow extremely hot, being there helpless, not even able to see, being used so…. He pulls me up on my knees, my head still resting down, he brings his hand to stroke me. I feel like I’m going crazy from all the pleasure.

He groans, moans and sweats on me. I feel as my own orgasm reaches me, and my neck bends back as I cum, moaning, panting. He pulls out, I can hear him removing the condom, his organ strokes my skin and soon he erupts on me whit a loud groan of pleasure. He falls down next to me and lays there for a time that does make me worry if he’s ever going to let me go.

Finally I feel him shifting and reaching out to untie me, hi kisses the skin behind my ear almost affectionately. When my hands are free I have no time to act before he pulls me full against himself, on his lap, holding me tightly. I try struggling a little, but he holds me tight and waits until I calm down.
“Now, I’m going to remove this blindfold so just relax.” I act as though I’m alright and calm myself down. His hands move up, I remain still though I could try escaping. He removes the blindfold gently and I blink my eyes at the sudden brightness, but as soon as I get my sense back together I jump up from the bed, from his lap.

I turn quickly to look at this man, stunned, as I find myself looking at this gorgeous well build blond, who grins at me wickedly. He sits on the bed still naked, his grey eyes staring straight at me.
“Well wasn’t that fun?” He asks, breaking the silence that has lasted for too long.
“You arse! Do you often kidnap people and rape them?!” I snap, feeling quite confused by everything. Again he laughs.
“It was hardly a rape and you can’t kidnap the willing.”
“Oh so I was willingly tied down and blindfolded?”
“You were passed out.” He smiles. “And we did talk about it before you did.”
“Oh really?! Why don’t I remember any of this? How should I believe you? I don’t know you!”
“You really forgot everything didn’t you? Oh well, I might as well introduce myself again since we’re going to see each others more often from now on. I’m Misha, but my friends call me Vodka.” Again he grins as he holds out his hand for me. I stare at him.

“Vodka?!” And then I laugh. “I should have guessed.” Mental note to oneself; never accept drinking competition from a man who likes to call himself Vodka.

“And what do you mean see each other more often? I can assure you, this….” I point at the bed and shake my hands in the air, “is never going to happen again!” He merely grins, his eyes travel down on my body and then I remember my naked state. I quickly bull a cover from the bed to cover myself. “Now, where are my clothes?” He stands up walks closer like a predator, I step back. He stands on my level, maybe he’s even a bit taller than me; the bastard! No one should be allowed to be taller than me! There should be some law against it. My back hits the wall, he smiles as he presses himself against me.

“Before I forget; Cecilia Lumme says hi,” He says then as he kisses my neck. What?… I mean what?? Cecilia? Jesse’s sister?! Oh that bitch is evil! EVIL!! I push him strongly away and go in the search of my clothes.
He follows me, I find my boxers and put them on.

He walks past me in another room and soon returns with the rest of my clothes. I take them forcefully from his hands.
“Now Joni, I’ve heard the rumours about you and that has got to stop. I am a jealous man and I don’t want you sleeping around, understand?” I simply glare at him as I keep dressing. The guy may be handsome but he’s also crazy apparently. “I am watching you, just so you know, I have friends Joni…”
“Oh do you now? I find that quite surprising.” I retort interrupting him.
“Anyway as I said, I have friends and if you still can’t keep your pants on, then I will be forced to take some drastic measures.” I stare at him with in disbelief as I am buttoning up my shirt.
“Excuse me, but what makes you think I owe any explanation to you of my doings?”
“Because you’re mine now.” He says simply, sits down and lights a cigarette. I continue to stare at him with my mouth open. Then I laugh.
“You’re even crazier than what I thought you were. I don’t belong to anyone, least of all to you. You can not control me. I. Am. Independent. Got it? I’m not a slave, and you. Are. Not. My. Master.” I try saying this as slowly as I can just so his blond brain can understand it.

He stands up again, still stark naked. I decide that I have had enough of this and walk out of the room. I hear him following.
“Joni.” He calls. I check my wallet, see that I have everything, you never know… I smile as I find he hasn’t stolen anything; good for him. Well stolen anything but my cherry! I still hate him for that. “Joni!” He says more forcefully stopping me by grasping my arm. “I’ll see you tonight.” He smiles.
I pull my arm free and laugh.
“Wouldn’t hold my breath.” I tell him. “Get this through your thick head; you are lucky that I won’t be going to the police about this, we will not be seeing each other, I am a free man to do whatever the hell I like, alright?” I take my coat and dress it on.
I open the front door.
“I’ll see you tonight Joni.” I hear him saying before the door closes behind me.

What does he think, that he can scare me? He and his friends? Oh I don’t think so! I’m so incredibly pissed off as I walk home, partly because I was taken like that, partly because of Jesse, as I think of him with those guys and that great big orgy, or whatever it was that he talked about… And partly because of Cecilia; I always knew that women were evil… and also because… Because if I’m true to myself, I rather enjoyed what happened this morning… But I’ll be damned if I let that guy control my life, so I should keep my pants on for him, huh? No way. Besides… I just have to keep my door closed, how would he get in? And he and his ‘friends’, what could they do? I am not scared!

I get home and the first thing I do, is to call one of my fuck buddies; Mika, I haven’t called him in ages, not since I met Jesse, but I know he’ll come running if I ask. That will show this Vodka or whatever his name is, I am not his and never will be!
 

Chapter 16.

Flashbacks are evil, I think while I shower, suddenly remembering some events of the last night. They come to me in flash pictures; how I met him, how I thought he was hot, how he offered me drinks… I curse my friends, the no good bastards who let me go with him. I did go with him by my own choice, but I was bloody drunk. I do remember something about the drinking game, or whatever it was. I remember sitting with him in the kitchen, him filling my glass after it was empty, looking at me and smirking.
“Sure you want more?”
“Yes.” We were kissing, I remember the kissing… He held me up, undressed me, undressed himself.
“I want to fuck you hard, have you ever been fucked before, Joni?” He had breathed close to my ear. Then, then we had showered?

I touch my sore bum carefully, feeling the bruise on it; what kind of crazy bastard bites on others’ ass cheek? Honestly… I feel sore inside as well.

I step out of the shower, dry myself up with a fluffy towel. I walk into the bedroom, search for some clothes, towel wrapped around my waist.

There’s still some of Jesse’s clothes, it’s somehow painful to see them; reminding me of what was and will not be any longer. I know it’s over. With a heavy sigh I put new clean clothes on; black tank top, boxers and pair of jeans. Then I decide to just take all of Jesse’s remaining clothes from the closet and pack them up for him when he comes to collect them. It will make it easier for me as well, just get them out of my sight, from reminding me. While I’m at it, I decide to pack the other stuff too; his hair gel, his books, DVDs, everything that belongs to him. I then take the pictures of us, pack them up into an old shoe box and hide it in some dark corner of the closet.

I do my hair after that, I must admit that I am obsessed with my hair, I can’t even go out without fixing it. Thank God that baldness is not something that runs in my family, I wouldn’t stand losing my hair. I wait for Mika, he said he would try to hurry; he’s just too easy. He was visiting his grandparents that live like 200 km away, and now he’s hurrying to see me; just too easy.

I sit down on the couch, still feeling exhausted. It’s almost 4 in the afternoon and I can’t help but wonder if this Vodka guy really meant what he said; that he would see me tonight. Would he come here? And what did this ‘I have friends’ thing mean? Again I decide that I’m not scared, so he wants to control me? No one can. I’m free, I will not let people push me around. He has friends? Well, I have friends too, dammit.

I got a call from my dad, he sounded worried, he’s always worried. “Did you go out yesterday?” He asked, I said yes. He asked if I was alone, if I was home. Told him yes. I guess he was little sad to hear that Jesse and I weren’t together anymore. I know that he had hoped that he could calm me down. He feels that I’m too restless at times, jumping from guy to guy. He fears for my safety and health. I’m like my mother, he says. She died when I was 5 years old, I only remember her a little. I have her eyes, her hair; almost as black as midnight, her cheekbones, her lips, her spirits.

He spoiled me; after she was gone, I was the only thing that he had left of her. He remarried when I was ten, had more children. I have two half brothers and a sister; they don’t look anything like me. My step mom, she’s never really liked me, because I remind her of my mother; the first woman in dad’s heart and she knows that she can never get that close to him. She hates the fact that dad still keeps mother’s pictures in their home. It was her home before my stepmother came, it’ only right that her pictures stay. I’m my Dad’s favorite, though he tries not to let it show, but it does show. No matter what stupid, fucked up things that I’ve done, he’s always been there to back me up. In that sense I am lucky, I just wish I could be a better son to him.

“See you tomorrow son, we’ll be there to pick you up at 11am, be ready.” He said before finishing the call. I wouldn’t have agreed to go with them, had I not known how important it was for him to have me with, that I would spend time with him by going fishing with him, just the two of us, like we did when I was just a boy.

**^^**^^**^^**^^**


Gods this guy is pathetic. I think as I open the door for Mika. He beams at me, trying to control himself but failing, I fear that he’ll soon blow up from his excitement.
“It’s been forever since I’ve last seen you.” He says as he takes his coat off.
“Yeah…” I answer lazily and walk towards the kitchen to get myself some coffee. He follows.
“So where’s Jesse?”
“Gone.” I take the milk from the fridge and pour some into my cup.
“I heard rumours that he would have left you but I-“
“He did not leave me.” I say glaring at him. Okay so Jesse did, but not everyone has to be talking about it. I have my pride, darn it, and no one has ever dumped me before.
“Oh.” He says stupidly and watches as I sit down and drink from my cup. God dammit it hurts to sit; damn Vodka… “Would you like some coffee?” I realise to ask then. He nods his head. “Well then, just take some.” I point carelessly towards the coffee pot.

He stares at me, God I hate people who stare. I know that I’m freaking handsome, but please do try to control yourself. I glance at him lazily as I’ve finished my cup and stand up. He places his cup down on the table, turns, waiting, obviously waiting, I can see the lust in his eyes, the hope that I would soon say something, do something.

Without a word I walk into the living room and turn the TV on. Soon after he follows. He stands in the doorway and looks at me insecurely. The guy is short; like little over 160cm, he has dull brown hair with some blond stripes, he’s spiked them up, he’s quite thin, too thin for my liking. He should have more meat on his bones. He’s cute in his own way though, so small that it’s somehow cute, but I’m not turned on…

He walks closer without a word, kneels onto the floor in front of me, his trembling hands touch my thigh, his grey blue eyes look up at me. I look back at him, silent, not making any effort to encourage him to move on, or to stop. Finally he starts rubbing my thigh, moving up and up. The funny thing is that I don’t really feel like having sex, something is wrong with me, seriously wrong…

I lay my head back, decide just to relax and let him do the work. He rubs my organ through my jeans, getting more bold with his movements. He opens my pants, moves his hand inside and starts rubbing more, I close my eyes, moaning quietly. He tucks my jeans down, finally taking my cock between his lips, he starts sucking. I keep my eyes still close, imagining myself in someplace different .With someone different. The guy that I’m with in my dream has blond hair and a well built body; he’s going down on me, sucking, his naked body right in front of me, he looks up; grey eyes meet mine. I quickly shake myself into the reality, I did not just think about him, did I?!

I look at Mika, who’s pulled out his own cock and is pleasuring himself while sucking me. He stops suddenly, squeezing me with his hand, looks at me.
“If you want me to fuck you, then go and prepare yourself,” I tell him. He stands up quickly walks towards the bedroom. God he is pathetic, he’d do whatever the hell I would ask him. I take off my shirt and throw it onto the floor, almost hearing Jesse’s complaint in the back of my mind.

Once I’ve gotten in, I find Mika already on the bed completely naked, stoking himself, looking at me. It’s a strange sight, somehow, it should be Jesse on that bed smiling at me, reaching out to me. If I ever cheated on him, I never once did it in our home. With mixed and odd feelings I undress myself just the same and lie down there with him, he tries to kiss me, but I turn my head so that his lips only meet my cheek. I lie on my back, he moves on top of me, rubbing our cocks together. It is only sex, no feelings, not on my part. It feels hollow, meaningless, but it’s sex… Sex doesn’t have to have feelings, it can just be what it is.

Suddenly I hear someone opening the front door, we both stop what we’re doing and listen carefully like two frightened animals. Is it Jesse? My dad? Someone steps in and the door closes, Mika jumps up from the bed and quickly pulls his boxers up, I do the same, we exchange looks.
“Are you sure you and Jesse are broken up?” He asks and I’m about to answer when the bedroom door suddenly opens.

“I leave you for few hours and already you’re breaking the rules.” I stare at the tall, gorgeous blond with my mouth open.
“How the hell did you get in?” I ask horrified. He lifts the key up and smiles.
“I made a copy while you were passed out.” Then he turns his eyes to Mika, whose face has gone white. “You, dress up and get the fuck out out of here or you’ll be very sorry!” He roars, Mika is trembling, he collects his clothes quickly.
“Hey, you can’t tell my guest to leave, you have no right! Mika, you’ll stay here.” I yell angrily, grasping Mika’s arm. It’s not like I really care, but this is war and I’ll be dammed if I let him win.

“Mika, was it?” Vodka smiles sweetly at him; fake sweetness. Mika looks at him, looking like he’ll soon wet himself, he manages to nod his head.
“Well Mika, I advise you to leave now if you value your life, this is between me and Joni.” He says then as his gaze focus back on me.

Mika pulls away from me.
“I’m sorry, “ he mutters as he hurries out of the room. I look after him; bloody coward. Then I look back at the annoying blond, I quickly back up to take my phone from the night stand.
“Stay back, I mean it!” I threaten him. “I’ll call the cops, I have 1, 1 and all I need is 2 and they be here so fast that you won’t know what hit you.” He smiles at me and walks closer.
“Put the phone down babe.” He says, I back up slightly.
“Babe? I am not your babe! You do realize that this is breaking and entry? You seem to be breaking the law a lot, don’t you?” He only smiles.
“You wanted me to come.”
“I did not!”

Suddenly he’s gotten close enough and grasps my hand that holds the phone, squeezing my wrist tightly, he gets me to drop it.
“Now, you bad boy, we need to punish you, don’t we?” He pulls me full against himself, kisses my lips forcefully, his hands traveling down on my ass and squeezing. I struggle against him, determined no to let him win.
“I’m not a boy to you.” I hiss between the kisses.
“But you are mine Joni, stop fighting.”
“Never!”

We end up wrestling on the floor, trying to overpower each other.
“All fresh for me babe,” He moans smelling my neck licking it and then sucking. He’s on top of me, holding me while opening his pants and taking the belt out.
“Get off me!”
“Ah but you know you want this,” I kick his leg and try to crawl my way free from under him, he pulls me back. I can see that he’s opened his pants already, his cock out; hard, throbbing, huge. I feel myself starting to harden at the sight, I feel myself getting turned on as I fight back. And still I am determined to keep fighting, though part of me wants it badly, wants him to take me harshly and tread me like a whore. I’m sick, just sick.

”You fucking pervert.” I hiss at him as he grasps my hair tightly and forces his lips on mine and his tongue inside my mouth. He rubs himself on me and I can’t help but to moan in his mouth. Oh God this is hot. So different… He forces me to turn on my stomach, ties my hands together behind my back with his belt, and I curse at him, trying to fight. He rises, pulls me up on my knees by pulling my hair. I’m faced with his cock, he holds my head, pushes it against my closed lips.
“Suck it, take it in your mouth!” He orders, I look up to him giving him my nasty glare.
“I hate you.” I spit, he smiles,
“Take it, spit on it, come on…” My fight weakens and so I spit on his cock like he asks, “Good, now open your mouth, open it wide.” As soon as I do it, the cock is trusted in. “Deeper, all the way, I know you can.” I cough and fight back the gag reflex as he moves his cock deeper. But I can’t help but to gag, tears fill my eyes as I try to suck him, he holds my head between is hands, guiding my movements to be faster. He groans, I look up and see him looking back at me, our eyes meet, his mouth is open, pupils dilated, sounds he makes are sexy as hell. Drool is dripping down on my chin, his cock grows even harder and bigger in my mouth and it’s starting to hurt my jaw.

Finally he pulls out.
“On the bed, come on, move…” He pulls me again from my hair closer to the bed, forces my upper body against it, tugs my boxers down forcefully, he prepares me quickly and thrusts in. It hurts like bitch and I find myself screaming, he strokes my lower back, trying to calm me down, waiting before moving. He kisses my neck tenderly. I can feel his heart beat as he lies against me. The tenderness disappears as he starts fucking me; fast and hard, like an animal. Again I am completely under his mercy. His anger is there when he keeps thrusting in and out, using my body.
“You’re my bitch, aren’t you?” He moans.
“No I- uh, not…”
“Oh but you are.” He pulls out completely and then back in, I scream again, but I do not ask him to stop.

Again he pulls out, this time he pulls me up from the bed, on my knees in front of him, he pulls of the condom and shoots on my face, touching me, taking some sperm on his fingers he forces them in my mouth.
“Lick.” He tells me and I obey, “Does it taste good?” He asks with a smirk. I refuse to answer, still feeling his cum on my face and not able to wipe it away. “You look good like that, perfect in fact.”

“You’re crazy, a pervert…” I hiss at him.
“But you like it babe, my bitch… No more cheating Joni, I will be teaching you to behave.”
“Arsehole,” I spit and he laughs.
“I see that we have a lot of work on here.” He says pulls me up and drags me towards the bathroom. God I hate him!

**^^**^^**^^**^^**

“I’m staying for the night,” he tells me, sitting in front of the kitchen table.
“No, you are not.” I say as I take a beer bottle from the fridge.
“Give me one.” I roll me eyes at him.
“Why should I give anything to you? You’ve taken enough and I want you gone.” I try walking past him, but he grasp my arm pulls me close.
“Give me.” He orders.
“Ask nicely,”
“Fine, please give me the beer, babe.”
“I’m not your babe.” I say simply, pull my arm free and walk over to the fridge to get him one. Part of me wonders why am I doing this, why won’t I try harder to get him out, I mean this guy treats me like some bloody woman; the arrogant bastard, arrogant but handsome bastard. He stands up and slaps my butt.
“Hey!” He grasps me close so harshly that I drop the bottle onto the floor,
“I’m horny…” He breaths to my ear, licking it and then he forces me against table.
“We just…” I whine as my clothes are ripped from me, he silences me with a kiss.
“Your ass is just too lovely.” He breathes to my ear as he takes out his own cock.

How can anyone be this horny? I wonder as I’m being fucked for the third time on the same day, right on my own kitchen table. I think I’ve met my match, whether I like it or not.

Chapter 17.

No one cheats on my brother and gets away with it.

I've been glaring at Joni for the longest time, since I saw him entering the club, that guy needs to be taught a lesson, a real one... This might be my lucky day, I think as I get myself another drink and; why if it isn't my co-worker Vodka ...

I smile at the sight of him; he truly is a hot piece of work, what a shame for us women that he’s gay. But a girl can always look, can’t she? Looking and admiring isn’t cheating. I call his name and wave my hand, he turns to look at me, smiles and gestures for me to come over to him.

I walk closer with a huge grin on my face.
"Fancy seeing you here," I say and take a sip of my strawberry margarita.

"Fancy seeing YOU here, of all people. Did you change your sexual preferences or what?" He returns my grin. "What's bringing you here?"

"I'm whit my brother, you remember Jesse?" I ask, Jesse came to see me once at our work place, and I know that Vodka remembers him. "And my husband's here too, so I'm a good girl" I smirk. "As always." I add,

“A good girl?" He smirks, "If I didn't know you better, maybe I would believe you." He teases me, I’ve gotten used to it, we like to tease each others this way. "So you're here with your brother? Why? Does he need a babysitter?"

"Well, you know how it is; one has to take care of the family, have to keep an eye of the younglings," I grin, God I love this guy. "Alone here today? Where's the boyfriend, is there one?" I ask casually, again taking a sip of my drink.

"Let's just say I'm no longer interested in him," He tells me and I try not to grin like a mad woman when this all is working to my favour. "Let's sit down and maybe you can tell me why this brother of yours needs help."
I can hardly keep myself from clapping my hands, I agree to his suggestion and move with him to sit in front of the free table, not too far away. "You see, Jesse just recently broke up with his boyfriend, they lived together and..." I start slowly, trying to collect my thoughts. "And this guy cheated on him, broke his heart..."

"Soo .." He starts slowly, obviously wondering where I’m going with this. "Do you need me to take care of your little brother? I can do that," He smiles lazily.

Oh I bet he could, but no, Jesse is not for him, my brother is just too young and far too innocent for a guy like him. "No, in fact, I think I have got the greatest challenge for you, far greater than to heal the broken heart of my brother..." I smirk, trying to hide it. I know I got his attention, I know he can never refuse a challenge...

"A challenge?" He asks, one eyebrow raised, doubtful perhaps.

I smile at him, taking my time before I answer, devouring the content of of glass, I finally place it down on the table, leaning closer. "This guy that my brother was with..." I start slowly, "My brother is not the only one who has gotten burned by him, I imagine ... hm ... maybe it is impossible for anyone to tame him ..." I lean back again, looking towards the bar counter and then back at Vodka. I raise my eyebrow, smile and try to see what he is thinking

"Maybe ..." He nods his head, realizing where I’m going at, but doesn’t seem to take the bait so easily as I thought he might. He is clever, I give him that.

"So, he is a challenge, a real challenge..." I say then, not looking at him anymore, "Well, maybe too much so really, I was thinking that maybe, just maybe, you might be the one guy who could..." I lazily turn my eyes on him again, looking at him like measuring his chances
"But, maybe, he's just too much, even for you..."

"Now what do you have in mind?" He still drawls lazily, "Do you want me to sleep with him? What's the challenge in that?"

"Sleep with him?" I ask, "Are you a top or a bottom?" I smirk, "Sleeping with him is not a challenge Vodka..." A pause. "If you like taking it up there... you know? ..." I add.

"Then what is? And don't ever call me a bottom," he pretends to be offended by my insinuation but I can see the amusement in his eyes. What was it that he told me once … hm … Oh yes: ‘The world hasn't seen a man who would make great Vodka bottom for him.’ I smile at this memory, oh my dear friend it is exactly what I’m counting on. I hold down a chuckle that tries to rise from deep within me. They will be just so perfect for each other, both slightly vain, well, no one is as vain as Joni, but anyway…

"The thing is, he finds himself ... hm ... he sleeps around, he, as I understand, is a top ..." Again I take a pause, trying to will my drunken mind to work the way I want it. "So the challenge is; can there be such a man, to put him in his rightful place? I wonder."

"Let me guess, you want me to top him?" He asks bluntly, watching me with amusement, smirk in his eyes.

“Hm, I still wonder, could you do the thing that no man has succeeded in doing before you...?" I hide my smile, yes the guy I'm talking about is a virgin up there, my brother and I share everything, well, almost everything, not details or anything *shudders*… Vodka must be interested now, he just has to.

"Like I said it is a challenge... but if you're not interested, thinking that you can't... I understand perfectly."

"I didn't say that ... I only think what's in it for me?"

"What's in it for you, eh?" I ask, again I turn my head, scanning the club, trying to spot where Joni is. Then I see him and I grin as I look at him; oh he's sooo in for it... Again I look at Vodka, "Well, if you manage to tame him Vodka, then I’ll… Let’s make it a bet? If you succeed I’ll treat you to a nice night out.” I promise, just to add a little more in to it, not too much, but a little. “And he’s here now, would you like to see him?" I’m counting on that once he sees him the deal is done.

He looks and he sees him and I know right then that he is interested, he takes his time as he looks at Joni from head to toe and I hide my smile in my drink. Yes, Joni is worthy of looking at, no one can say that he isn’t good looking, if only he wasn’t such a vain arsehole… I think I’m even doing him a favor really, setting this trap for him, guiding Vodka towards him. After all, Vodka really is a handsome man and I can’t think of anything bad to say about him, but I know his taste, as I understand he’s quite wild in the bedroom and I want him to be rough with Joni, oh how I want it.

."Hm, to tell the truth, a rather ... tasty piece of meat ... but if he sleeps around like that, I am not interested. I don't like to share." He says then. Oh no, don’t you back up, I won’t let you to ruin my plan.

"Yes, might be a bit much for you, like I said the challenge is to tame him, maybe you're just not the man enough to do that?" I sigh deeply and then continue. "Maybe I have to find someone else to fill my challenge."

"It's not your place to judge if I am a man enough," he snarls, sounding angered. "I could meet the conditions of your challenge any day."

"Could you now?" I raise my eyebrow, "I'm not sure if I can believe you, I need a proof."
I look towards Joni and then slowly back at Vodka

"Need a proof? I WILL make him bottom, on a permanent basis if need be," He scowls hitting his fist down. I could laugh, but I manage to hold myself down and give him a sweet smile.

I only wish that I could be a fly on the ceiling when this all happens, when he takes Joni. Suddenly I feel all horny, Pauli will be pleased this night."So go for it." I encourage him.

**^^**^^**^^**

Vodka:

I feel as if I was boiling inside, That ... woman ... made me promise I would top that ... cheater. OK, so he is handsome ... but even if he poses a great challenge - and I like challenges - what I abhor the most is sleeping around. And I am actually going to do that. Well, not exactly, I am going to teach the cheater to be a nice bottom. I watch him and I wait for the right chance. I watch as Cecilia goes to her brother’s table, getting more drunk by the second.

I watch as there is a brief meeting with this cheater and Jesse. Cecilia’s brother pulls away from him, clearly feeling upset and the guy, the dark haired guy, stares after him and finally moves to the bar counter to get a drink which he quickly pours down his throat.

I almost snicker as I try to get closer to the guy.

I stand right next to him. The cheater ... I don't even know his name ... is drinking heavily as if trying to drown his sorrows. Oh, now you're trying to forget what shitty things you did? I think viciously but in fact I smile seductively and say to the man, "Want another drink?"

He looks up, our eyes meet, he smiles as he checks me from head to toe and then looks back into my eyes. He has beautiful warm brown eyes and he’s even more handsome at a closer look. Still my emotions towards him are slightly negative; so he has beautiful eyes, but these are the eyes of a cheater.

"You alone here?" I try to start a conversation. He takes time before giving me an answer.
"I'm not anymore, am I?" He asks, with a soft grin.

"No, you're not. But what is a babe like you doing here alone?"

He chuckles, amusement in his eyes, clearly used of hearing such things, but I know he wants to hear them just the same.

"I could ask you the same, couldn't I?" Again he grins, playfully, the man who just moments earlier was drowning his sorrows in a drink is now openly flirting with me, whatever the relationship was between him and Cecilia’s brother I truly doubt that it was real love.

"You could, but would I answer you?" I try to play his game. He is a little more than tipsy so it will be easy to just make him play into my hands.
"So how about that drink you offered?" He asks then.
"What would you like?'

"Battery vodka"

I raise my eyebrows in surprise. The cheater ... need to ask his name, finally ... wants vodka?

"Aren't you afraid you'll fall under the table?" I grin challengingly and add, "And what's your name?"

"Me? Under the table? It will be you before me." He challenges back. "My name is Joni, yours?"

"Misha ..." I answer and then decide to tease him, "but my friends call me Vodka. Be careful, Joni, whom you're challenging," I grin dangerously and decide to go to the bar and bring the drinks. Before I leave, I turn back and look at him once again, "let's play a game."

He looks at me, curiosity in his eyes and I see as he glances towards a table where a group of guys his age sit and one of them looks right back at him, like asking for something. He wasn’t alone really, was he? He turns back to meet my eyes.
"A game?" He asks

"Yes, a game. Prove me you can drink me under the table. If you can, I may ... do whatever you please. But if I drink you under the table, I will have the right to do just the same thing." And it will be me who will win. Because I am a Russian and we are born with natural resistance to alcohol and need LOTS of it to fall under the table. You, though ... a measly Finnish boy ... half drunk already ... your ass is so gonna be mine!

I can see how he thinking about this, thinking: would it be wise to agree, could he win me? I smile deciding to give that one extra push.
“Of course if you’re scared of losing…” I start casually and see the flash in his eyes.
“Scared?” He laughs, “Not bloody likely, I can win your ass, I’m game.”

"Splendid," I send him my most brilliant smile and leave to get drinks. Or better - a bottle of the strongest alcohol they have here. That, and a set of vodka glasses.

At the bar I order the bottle of vodka - why not? The cheat ... Joni wanted it and it will really help my case. I feel hot at the mere thought of that guy under me; he is so gonna lose and he will be mine. Even if I feel disgusted with his antics, he really is attractive ... which makes my challenge all the easier. Then I take the ordered alcohol and the glasses and come back to his table. "I thought THIS will be better for our little contest, don't you think Joni?"

I see the slight surprise in his eyes and hide my smirk, I guess he couldn’t guess that I’d choose plain vodka for us, with nothing to soften the taste.

I pour the first shot of vodka for the both of us, offer him one and watch how he lifts it up to his lips. Then I imagine something else entirely, so close to his lips and feel hot again. I'm starting to like this challenge, I think to myself as I lift my glass and drink it quickly.

The first shot of vodka slides easily down my throat. Well, I have some practice with that. Joni, on the other hand ... his face is screwed with the taste of it ... oh, you will like the other vodka I have to offer, I think and I smile to him once again.

I take another glass wait until he takes one too. He’s trying to fight not to show how he really feels about the taste, I almost feel sorry for him, but only almost.

"Don't you feel ... hot?" I ask him innocently as I gulp the second shot.

His brown eyes look at me, his skin is slightly flushed, his lips parting, just begging to be kissed. He bents his head to the side, fingers playing on the shot glass, sexy look in his eyes, of he is such a flirt.
"Yes, it's quite hot in here, isn't it?" He asks and licks his lips in a teasing manner.

I want to laugh so hard ... the poor cheater doesn't know what he is asking for. But if he wants it so bad ... I move to sit next to him. Then, not looking away from him, I lift the third shot of vodka to my lips but before I gulp it down, I let my tongue run along the rim of the glass, licking a drop of alcohol.

His eyes follow my movements, his pupils dilated, he takes his third drink, holding my gaze as he forces it down from his throat. He blinks his eyes, I can see how the alcohol is already starting to take him over, how he tries to fight it in vain. I have you, I have you my prey.

I feel a little hot after three shots of strong alcohol but it's still far away from even being tipsy. Yet ... maybe I should pretend a bit? My head sways a bit and I put my hand on Joni's thigh, trying to make it look as an accident. My hand stays there for a long moment and I remove it finally, grinning at Joni. "Sorry, I think alcohol is starting to work."

He smiles, leans closer to me, his lips almost touching my cheek. “It happens…” He whispers and leans back again....

I decide to allow him a little break, I don't want him completely drunk. What's the fun in taking a passed out cheater? And I do want to take him, I feel my body respond to his closeness. Damn that Cecilia, she knows me better that I thought it possible. I decide to continue conversation with Joni.

"I've been thinking ... what are you going to do to me if you win?"

He smiles again, curiosity and lust in his eyes. "Well first..." He starts, touches my chin and slides his hand slowly down on my neck, on to my chest, drawing small circles close to my nipples. "I'd undress you of these clothes of yours..." He takes a pause, looking into my eyes his lips parting. The hand moves down on my stomach and I shiver liking where he is heading, but he stops before he touches me there and you know where. He leans closer and I think he might kiss me, his breathing on my skin, lips almost touching, "I'd have you begging under me, but what fun it would be to reveal it all just yet?" He leans back, his hand pulls away from me taking his forth shot raising his glass to me, a smile, then he gulps it down.

He has dirty mouth, he really has. But his words made me hot. Only I imagined doing those things to HIM. But he doesn't need to know that. I smirk once more and take another shot of vodka.

Then he excuses himself to go to the bathroom, my eyes glimmer as I watch him walking, watch as he sways a little trying to keep himself in order but failing miserably. Oh yes, he will be mine. I wait patiently until he comes back. He smiles as he sits down.
“I’m back,” He informs and then he giggles at himself.

He looks so ... disconcertingly sweet, giggling just like that ... it erases the image of a cheater from my mind, leaving only a drunk, helplessly giggling and desirable man. I smile at him and speak to him, my voice a bit husky from the lust that starts to pool in my stomach, "You were certainly being missed by me, babe."

He really smiles a lot, and what a pretty smile it is, dimples and all, he looks at the table like searching for something, licking his lips, then his eyes meet mine again.
"I'm thirsty..." He tells me and I wonder how he manages to look and sound so innocent now.

"Would you like another drink?" I offer, feeling myself smile again as I watch him trace his lips with his tongue. "Or maybe you would like to rest a bit? I know a good place, just to sit in peace and enjoy the company." I say, thinking actually of bringing him home.

."You do?" He asks. "Well I suppose it would be easier too talk and..." His leg touches me own briefly, suggestively,”…stuff, in some place more quiet..." He grins then.

"Then ... after you," I stand up and gesture with my hand for him to stand up too. "Or maybe ... you'd like me to carry you, bridal style Joni?" I grin as I look at him.

He raises his eyebrow at me and stands up, "I think I can manage just fine," he says, swaying a little trying to cover that by smiling.

I go to the door and keep it open for him, bowing a little as he comes closer. "Ladies first."

He glares at me. "You're the lady..." He retorts raising his chin up proudly but stepping out before me just the same. "So where is this place you want to take me to?" He asks then, turning to look at me.

"Actually not very far, we can walk," I answer him, suppressing a snicker. Me - a lady? The best joke I have ever heard. Oh, Joni, prepare yourself for the biggest - and I mean BIGGEST - surprise of your life.

He frowns a bit, I guess the idea of walking doesn’t actually inspire him in the state that he’s in.

"Lead the way." He tells me then.

I walk rather slowly, seeing pretty clearly that he is swaying on his feet. He's more drunk than I expected but then again, this walk will do him good. "So, tell me about yourself, Joni," I decide again to talk to him. Despite being an incorrigible cheater, he really got me interested. At least enough to make me want to know him a little better. And I was challenged to make it something more than a one night stand. I want to know more, to be prepared for anything, to have the upper hand.

"About me?" He asks and he grins. "Well... I'm twenty three years old... I’m one quarter of a Gypsy; from my mothers side, only few know about it, um, I’ve lived in this area all my life... I work as a guard and I've also done some modeling... there are lots of things about me that's just some...And what I want to do in the future is still kind of open." He explains. “And you? Tell me about you?"

"I was born in Russia, grew up there but the moved to Finland and stayed here, you see. As to my work ... it's just work, something that gives me money. I am twenty seven and ..." I stop for a moment and smirk at him, "I am a sworn top, Joni."

"So here's a problem then; I am too, I've never, ever been a bottom," He tells me with a grin.

"I can be ... very persuasive ..." I smirk once again and resume the slow walk, already entertaining the thoughts of him bottoming. For me.

"This is a game, we are playing a game and if I win; your ass will be mine." He grins playfully.

"I am very good at playing games, Joni," I retort, seeing his searching eyes glued on me. I have you now, I think with amusement and turn towards the house where my flat is. I make a welcoming movement with my hand, "Here we are, let's get inside."

He takes his coat of slowly, looking around him. I can feel his uncertainty and I decide to play it cool for the time being. "So, this is my home, make yourself comfortable. Do you want something to drink?" I decide to play a perfect host as I lead him to the small but comfortable living room.

"The game is still on isn't it?" He grins, "Yes, I'd like to have a drink."

"Of course, the game is on," I grin and take out a bottle of vodka out of the small bar and a set of glasses. Then I decide to bring some soft drink as well, he did say he was thirsty. "What would you have before we resume our drinking game?"

"Water would be just fine, thank you." He smiles politely.

I go to the kitchen, it is bigger than in other flats but I like having a big kitchen, I am a cook by hobby. Yes, I know, such an unmanly hobby but if you had a mother that insisted you SHOULD be able to cook for yourself you'd become hooked on it anyway ... I take out a bottle of mineral water and pour the water into the tall glass. I come back to the living room where I left my soon to be bottoming lover.

He’s sitting on the couch looking around as if for trying to find clues.I offer him the glass of mineral water and he takes it with a thank you.

"You have quite nice place here, the rent must be high?" He asks casually.
"Hm ..." I am puzzled with his question. Why is he asking this question?

"What is it that you do here? I can understand the appeal of moving here from your country, things are pretty screwed up there, aren't they? Here it’s much better, better chances and...” He looks at me then, his eyes narrowing slightly, smile on his lips, but not the kind of smile that I would like with those words. “What is it that you really do for a living Misha? How long have you lived here?" I smell prejudice.

I slit my eyes for a moment. Oh, so that's all about me being a Russian? Am I worse being a Russian? Then what does it make him, a part Gypsy by blood? Yet I keep my face straight, promising him punishment in my head. Oh, you will be punished, for considering me worse than you, Joni, you will be punished. Keeping my voice cheerful, I try to answer as best as I can, "I work in a small computer company, earn enough to have a decent life." But inside me everything is boiling.

I will teach him I am worthy, I am not worse than anyone in this bloody country where everyone seems to despise me because I am a Russian.
"That's great," he answers after a pause

"Yes, it is," I nod my head and sit next to him. "Shall we come back to our game?"
He nods his head and smiles in much more open way. "Yes, bring it on."

I pour vodka into the glasses and give him one, my other hand *accidentally* brushing against his shoulder. It's time to start meeting the challenge ... I feel turned on by the mere thought of it and the anger I feel at the moment makes it even stronger. He moves closer to me, and pours the shot down his throat.

I gulp down the shot I prepared for me. Then quickly I pour another for the both of us and offer him with a hopefully seductive smile. "Maybe I could propose a toast?"

"Yes," he says answering to my smile whit a one of his own,

"To the bottom!" I grin dangerously, looking suggestively at him. I see a hint of nervousness in his eyes, but he loses it quickly shaking his head.
"To the bottom..." He repeats after me.

I watch him drink up the vodka and then swiftly drink up mine. I start to feel the first effects of downing such an amount of alcohol but I am still far away from being drunk. His hand lands on my thigh suddenly, he grins up to me.
“How are you feeling?” He asks again doing that thing with his neck, thing that makes me want to suck on his skin there and bruise him.

"A little drunk," I answer, my member responding with hardness to his touch. Oh, Joni, you're tempting fate. My hand reaches to his face, I cup it and bring it closer to my lips, then give him a forceful, dominant kiss.
I slide my tongue inside his mouth, tasting alcohol. I am a little surprised that he responds so enthusiastically. Hm ... I am drowning in his warmth, a sudden though comes to my mind. Is he a closeted bottom? He definitely acts like one, all almost begging to be fucked to the sofa we're sitting on. After a while he starts trying to fight; trying to take the control to himself, he places his hands on my chest and I wonder if he’s trying to push me away or get me closer to him. He moans into my mouth.
I decide to take another step forward. My hands go to his wrists, I grip them and then pull them away from my chest. At the same time I push forward with my chest, making him lie down, continuing our kiss. He struggles, but his struggling is far too soft to make me think that he would really want me to stop, it’s just an act to give himself.

I am sorely tempted to pin him to the sofa but we did agree to the game. It is the game that should decide who gets to top. Though ... it will be me after all, the game will just stall us a little. So I sit up, freeing his wrists, allowing him free movement if he chooses so. I grin at him, seeing his reddened lips and dilated pupils. Yes, you're definitely a closeted bottom, one that didn't notice it yet. But I see it clearly, Joni, you want it so bad ... I reach for the bottle and pour another shot for him and me and offer him his glass. "Drink up, Joni and may the better win," I wink at him and drink my shot.

He sits up slowly and takes the offered glass. He tries to look confident but I can see straight through him,

“May the better win," He replies, drinking it down. I notice that his hands tremble as he places the glass down.

I decide to test him. I stand up and ask him, "Would you mind if we went to the kitchen? I think I am becoming hungry." Well, hungry is a very good expression for what I am feeling now. I am waiting for him to stand up, curious if he will be able to.

He takes a deep breath, he’s not feeling all that great now, is he? He starts standing up slowly, his face goes white, his hand reaches out to touch his forehead and then his legs give up from under him

I try not to chuckle when I see him fall onto the floor. Oh, he is trying not to fall face first but even if he is reaching with his hands to break the fall, he manages to hit his leg. Ouch, I wince in sympathy and reach for him to help him stand up. "Are you ok?" I ask him, smiling sweetly, as sweetly as I can. I have a very good reason to smile; I have won the game! I have drunk him under the table. His ass is so gonna be mine! But I am no neanderthal brute, I can wait.

He looks slightly embarrassed; he curses quietly and rises on his knees. He looks up to me and takes my offered help to stand up. He looks at the coffee table slowly realizing what just happened.

His horror stricken face makes me chuckle. "Well," I say after that, "that means I have won. Aren't you hungry? You'll need your strength soon and so will I."

Is he trembling? I wonder. He doesn’t say anything just nods his head, he’d better not even try to back up now; a deal is a deal.

I head for the kitchen, expecting him to follow. In the kitchen I take out bread and cheese, make some sandwiches for the both of us. He should eat something, it could help clear his head a bit. After all, one tolerates alcohol much better with his stomach full. Or maybe it's too late for that now? I place sandwiches on a flat plate on the table and take out a bottle of red wine, pouring some into the wine glass I take out from the cupboard.

He sits in front of the kitchen table and watches me silently. He is nervous isn’t he? He tastes the wine and reaches out to take a sandwich, he looks at it like wondering something. His eyes meet mine then, he places the sandwich down whitout eating a single bite.

“What will you do to me?” The question is asked carefully and the look in his eyes makes him look so much younger than what he is.

"You're very curious, aren't you?" I grin as I chew the bread. "Well, it will be something you'll definitely like, Joni." I look at his glass, half empty already, then I take a careful sip from mine. I don't need to be drunk. He's too drunk for the both of us.

He seems to be thinking what I just said, he takes the bread in his hands again and this time takes a bite of it, chewing carefully. He takes the sip of wine again and I really wonder if it was wise to give him anymore alcohol. Again he focuses his eyes on me, I wonder what’s going inside of his mind. Again the sandwich is placed down, I wonder if I could order him to eat it? I think he should eat it.

He leans forward then, his hand landing on my own, he smiles at me.
“Do you want me?” He breaths out, stroking my skin whit his fingers.

Oh, he is starting to relax a bit. A good sign. If he panicked more, he would only make it worse for himself. I can't stop the shiver feeling his touch. Oh, he is a fox, I like that. And a closeted bottom, yup. His question is said with a lustful voice and once again I feel shivers. "Umm," I murmur as I swallow the mouthful of food and then lean towards his, to brush his lips with mine. Then I answer, "Oh, yes, definitely want you. And will have you, Joni."
He kisses me, I am surprised he’s this willing.


I kiss him for a few long moments, enjoying the taste of him, mixed with the taste of bread and alcohol. I start to feel really hot and my breath becomes shorter. Damn him, the cheater ... I want him, want him now ... but I am not a brute as I said. I have patience enough, I will wait until he feels better. He looks at his almost empty glass and I ask him with a little doubt, "Sure you want more?"
"Yes" He answers biting his lip and then licking it.

I refill his glass again, with smirk and watch him as he drinks a little. I watch his Adam's apple move with the gulps he takes and that is all I can stand for the moment. I stand quickly, come to him and lift him, making him sit on the table. And I start kissing him, hungrily, demanding, without even trying to be delicate. Damn, he is not a woman, he won't break.

Horny slut, I think bemusedly when he moans in my mouth, inviting me in willingly, he wraps his arms around me stroking me, feeling my muscles. I smile to the kiss. Don't worry babe, you'll get it, you'll get it alright. My hands start to wander all over his torso, slowly undressing him. I touch his naked skin, I brush his nipples, then start to fumble with the clasp of his jeans. I watch him, watch as he trembles and he licks his lips again.

I stop for a moment, just to look at him, half naked in front of me, flushed with alcohol and - I do believe - arousal and need. I slowly remove my shirt, throwing it somewhere onto the floor where his landed not so long ago. I watch him hungrily, my eyes wandering over his naked torso, stopping at the bulge that is tenting his half opened jeans. Then I say the first thing that comes to my mind. "I want to fuck you so hard, have you ever been fucked before, Joni?"

His lips are parting and his eyes travel down on my chest. He snaps his head up when hearing my question, he shivers.
"No, never." He answers and lowers his gaze stopping to my crotch where he can see the obvious bulge, how much my cock wants to be freed so it could meet his virginal warmth.

I smirk at him as I reach to his groin, my hand brushing his erection. Oh, he really wants it, such a good, obedient bottom. I chuckle to myself, massaging his hard, hard member, thinking what I will do to him so soon. But ... he's really drunk as well, that little bread he ate, won't help him. I decide to sober him up a bit and what's better than a lukewarm shower.

"Joni, babe," I murmur into his ear, my hand never ceasing its rubbing motion, "we should get ready for your first time, don't you think?" His neck is bent back, he pushes his hips forward to meet with my touch and I look at him with a smile, admiring his beauty. It takes some time before he reacts to my question, I think that just now he’d do what ever I would want him to do. His eyes are half open.
“Okay…” He agrees then.

"Then would you just wrap your pretty legs around my waist and let me carry you to the bathroom?" I whisper to him. He seems to be thinking again, but it doesn’t take him long to make this decision. He smiles and wraps his legs around my waist just like I asked and he kisses me again.


I return his kiss and then support his weigh with my right hand; I placed it under his bum so that he wouldn't just slide down. A very good place to put a hand, I notice. I start to walk towards the bathroom, feeling his erection brush against my stomach with every step I take. It only makes me harder. God, I want him so much, to feel him around me ... And walking has never been so hard for me; no, he is not that heavy, just ... I suppress the need to pin him to the first wall and take him right there, preparation forgotten. At last we get to the bathroom and I say, "We're here, you may stand if you want."

He slides down onto the floor, keeping his arms around me. He kisses me massaging himself against me, rubbing our erections together. I enjoy his kiss and the rubbing motion all too much. I suppress a moan. It wouldn't do any good if I started to moan.

"Why don't you strip, I'd like to watch you strip for me." I breathe out, he smiles and backs away, he brings his hands on his torso, moving them down to his jeans, slowly lowering them down and finally kicking them off, he touches himself before he continues with undressing his boxers. He smirks, looking at me from under his brows, clearly feeling confident about himself and there really is no reason why he shouldn’t.
"You like what you see?" He asks innocently, disturbingly innocently.

"Yes, my little bottom," I say even though I can see he isn't little THERE. "Your looks do please me." I come closer to him and give his erection a firm stroke. Then I command, "Undress me, Joni."

He shivers, but brings his hands on me, starting to undo my jeans, he tugs them down with my boxers kneeling down and urging me step out of them and I do. He then takes a look at my cock; hard and ready just for him ... I bite the inside of lower lip. I feel it bleed in my mouth. And then he gasps and rises (why, oh why, he looked just perfect down there!)
“It’s so big,” He states the obvious.
"Don't tell me you're afraid, Joni," I smirk at him challengingly. "You're a big boy, aren't you?"
He brings his chin up.
"No, I'm not afraid." He says as though I had insulted him, he kisses me then.

I made him kiss me, he kisses so well, he is so sweet like that. He would be perfect if he wasn't a cheater ... but then again, I can make him completely mine, I can teach him that he is mine and what is mine, belongs entirely to me. God help me, he will be mine and God help him if he decides to cheat on me! I return his kiss forcefully, pushing him against the wall, my thigh between his legs, I move it, rubbing his erection with it. My hands go to his wrists again, pinning them to the wall over his head. I break the kiss suddenly and growl at him, "You will be MINE, understand, Joni?"

He looks at me surprised and bit frightened.
“Yours?” He asks, looking into my eyes. “You won, I get that, and tonight I am yours, so just relax.”
I give him a look but do not continue with the topic. He may think whatever he pleases but he will be mine. I move a step away from him, remembering we were supposed to shower so I get into the shower stall and turn on the water, making it slightly warmer than lukewarm. Then I invite him with a hand gesture and step under the whip of water. He follows, still slightly hesitant after I had shouted at him. He gets in, touches the water, clearly enjoying the warmth. He squeezes some shower gel on his hands and starts washing my chest, he kisses my lips.

And I let him wash me, let him kiss me, let him learn how to please me. He will need all the practice he can get because if he cheats on me like he did on Jesse, I will not be a merciful, forgiving lover, just the opposite. After a while I decide to return the favor, I take the sponge, drip some shower gel onto it and rub it on his skin, washing his torso, then arms, then the back. The sponge travels down to his buttocks; they are firm and just perfect. I imagine myself sliding between them, in and out ... I harden even more at the mental image. Oh, yes, you will be mine, Joni. I am not giving up on you. Then I drop the sponge and let my soapy hands travel to his erection.

He moans, bucking his hips forward to meet better with my touch. “Oh yes.” He breaths out.
I press harder against his erection and then start to stroke it firmly, once, the second time. My hand sets a steady rhythm as I watch him thrust into it. Enjoy, Joni, enjoy, my beautiful. I kiss him forcefully once again, my hand moving faster now.
He lays his forehead on my shoulder, holding on to me as if fearing that he could fall. He pants heavily. “Oh God…” He moans then, trembling from his orgasm, holding on even tighter. His head moves to rest on my chest.

He has come so fast, I blink with surprise. Oh, no control whatsoever. I enjoy my sex if it lasts longer. But it is just another lesson I will have to teach him. Now he is leaning heavily on me, in the afterglow of orgasm. I support him with my hands, letting the water take his seed. When his breathing finally slows down, I whisper into is ear, "Let's take this into the bedroom."

He nods his head lazily and steps out of the shower. He dries himself up and pulls his boxers back on, just that I don’t understand why because he won’t be needing them shortly. I remain naked myself. I take his hand leading him to the bedroom thinking of all the things I’d like to do to him and what I soon get to do to him.
“You wanted to know what I would do to you…” I murmur as I open the door to my bedroom and let him in. “…I want to tie you to the bed and blindfold you and I’ll make sure that you’ll enjoy it Joni.” I assure him.

He looks somehow confused as he sits down on the bed.
“I don’t know…” He mutters, looking towards me.
“But I know,” I flash him an amused and reasuring smile, then turn to my wardrobe to find something to be used as a blindfold. I take out a scarf and a robe and turn around to see him fighting with sleepiness. "Joni?"

He lies down, his eyes are falling shut, he opens them again and tries to look at me and the items I have in my hands. “Mmm…” He answers hearing his name and then he yawns. “I don’t know you…” He says then. "Shouldn't... what if... I don't like pain..."


So I overdid it ... too much alcohol, sex. I am stupid. I should have known better he would pass out. He is not passed out yet but very well on his way to do so. He's mumbling incoherently now and much as I am aroused, I don't like having sex with someone who is nearly unconscious. I decide to leave him in peace.

"Don't worry about it now, we will come back to it later," I tell him as I put away my accessories. He nods his head and smiles in an adorable manner, closing his eyes. “Cold…” He mutters as he curls up seeking more warmth, looking now all innocent. Innocent, my ass! I cover him with a blanked; no one can say that I don't care about my lovers. Well, not a lover yet, soon-to-be-lover ... Though ... he was kind of selfish, leaving me in my current state of arousal. I decide to take care of my problem; I come back to the shower stall, quickly bring myself off, with the mental images of Joni writhing under me as I enter him and the climax that hits me, feels so sweet. I will so enjoy taming that little cheater and turning him into my little obedient bottom.

Then I wash myself briefly again, and decide to think up a plan. The guy is just too stubborn for his own good. And I think he didn't understand fully what I meant by saying he will be mine. He will not like to have me in his life, he will probably walk away come the morning. I need to ... I need to know where he lives, I need to have a key to his home ... I decide to check his clothes, if he has a key, if he has some ID. The pockets of his jeans hold the key. Bingo! And then an ID, his driving licence, oh, yes. I take my phone and write a message with his name and the city where he lives in, and sent it to one service number to inquire his address, I soon get a message back. I write down his address in my phone book and then dress myself. I have to go to my friend, he has this little firm that makes keys, he will copy it for me, he owes me one favour.

When I come back home, almost two hours later with a spare key for myself, he is still sleeping. He should be, after so much drinking. He will have a hangover of his life in the morning, well it’s already morning, but well; in the morning for him. And then almost snicker. Not only will he have a hangover, but a surprise of his life as well. He won't be too happy about bottoming, I am sure of that, but I won, fair and square.

I move on the bed, taking the blindfold and the robe with me, better do it now when he’s still in a deep sleep and can’t change his mind, somehow I’m quite sure he’ll whine about this when he wakes. I touch him, making sure that he really is in a deep sleep and he is. I flip him carefully on his stomach; it will be easier to take him this way, easier to hold him and he will have harder time to start messing with me if he chooses so. But I won, so this is only fair. I tie up the blindfold carefully, make sure that his head is resting comfortably, that he can breathe easily. I force his left arm up and tie his wrist up securely to the bedpost, then the right.

I ran my hand down on his neck to his lower back touching his buttocks briefly, feeling my anticipation growing. No, I have to wait. The temptation is powerful, but I must wait. I draw the blanket better on him and lie down next to him, not touching him. I need all my strength if I want to tame him. Oh, I really can't wait till the morning.

I wake up rather early, my eyes opening to the sight of a man lying next to me, blindfolded and tied to a bedpost. It takes me a couple of seconds to remember who he is, but then I remember; Joni, a challenge form Cecilia, a little cheater ... a little cheating bottom that I want all for myself. And I will have him, the moment he wakes up. I get up, pad to the bathroom to relieve my full bladder and take a bottle of body oil and a condom from the bathroom cupboard and come back to the bedroom. I wait for him to wake up and when he stirs from his sleep, I smile to myself. "Finally awake, I see."

He snaps his head towards me,
“Who the fuck are you? I demand you to untie me this instant!" He snaps, trying to pull himself free from the robes.

"Don't you remember?" I ask bemusedly. Of course, he doesn't remember, not after such heavy drinking. I stop myself from laughing out loud. I sit down on my bed, next to him, putting the bottle with oil and the condom within my hand's reach. "Oh well, I suppose it's all the alcohol you drank last night. I won, you see." I don't tell him what I won yet. Let him squirm a bit.
"Won what?" He asks tensely.

"I drank you under the table just like I told you I would, but you didn't seem to believe me and .." I don't finish that sentence. He looks so precious, so defenceless; I want to enjoy this feeling a little bit longer.
"And?!" He starts sounding more nervous now.
"And .." I stop for a second, licking my lips at the sight of his squirming, "so I won Joni. I get the prize, well, I would have, but you passed out and being the gentleman that I am, I thought it would be decent to wait until you wake. Now you finally have.” Then I lift the blanket, drinking in the sight of almost all his body naked.
“I don’t remember this, you’re nuts, and you’ve won nothing.” He whines, oh I just knew it! Again he tries to pull himself free.

“Aww, and you were such a good boy last night…” I decide to tease him a little and let my hand wander to his buttocks, stroking it lightly. I feel myself harden at the thought I will be soon in him.

“Boy, I’m no fucking boy to you.” He tells me and his muscles tense as he feels my touch. "Don't touch me!" He hisses and squirms on the bed .

“But I won, we made a bet and I won, are you really such a poor loser that you’re going to deny it from me?” I whine a little, rubbing his buttocks harder and then my hand goes to the hem of his boxers and I start to remove them from his hips, which is rather difficult, with him being stubbornly uncooperative ... which only turns me on more.

"Stop it!"

His squirming helps me this time as I get to remove his boxers completely. “I’m not going to rape you.” I whisper almost gently into his ear, my hand running down his spine to his now naked buttocks.
“Let me go! What do you think you’re doing?”

My finger wanders to his opening, I circle it and then tease it, trying to arouse him. Some of the fiercest tops really went for that caress. “Now Joni, we had so much fun last night, don’t you remember? We even washed for this, you wanted it… You so wanted this…” I murmur to him, lying a little bit. Ok, so maybe he didn't want it at the beginning ... and even later he was skittish with the idea. But I know he wants to be fucked, he is a closeted bottom, I am firm in my opinion

"You're lying!" He accuses me.

“The agreement Joni…” I tease his opening more, preparing to enter him with the first finger. “I promised to get you drunk; I said I have some vodka, remember that?” My finger slides in; he is so tight inside I feel dizzy at the thought of actually entering him with something else. My member twitches in agreement with my mind. “Well we got here…mmmh” I start to thrust my finger in and out, enjoying the tight heat. “You are tight, aren’t you?” I purr with happiness, expecting great pleasure.

“You fucking bastard!” He spats. His words make me angry but I try to quell it.
“That’s not what you said last night, I believe that last night you were quite…quite lustful in fact, where is that lustful man I brought in here?” I try to sound inquisitive but I know I sound lustful instead. Oh, well, who wouldn't be lustful if such a tasty morsel was lying spread eagle on their bed, waiting to be fucked?

"Fuck..."

I push a second finger inside him and continue with my explanatory speech, “Indeed… Anyway, the deal was that the one who drinks the other one under the table gets to be the top… And you agreed, but unfortunately, before I could claim my win, you had passed out completely. And trust me when I say, last night you were wanton. I think you even wanted me to win,” I grin widely. My impatience is growing bigger. Oh, I can't wait to be in him, the feeling of him around me. This preparation turns out sheer torture and a test for my self-control, not only lust but anger as well.

“That’s ridiculous, I- I don’t do this, I won’t do this! I’m not going to take it up there..."

“Ah, but my dear, you will enjoy this, I will make sure of that.” I pull away my fingers and take the bottle with body oil, open it and drip some of it onto his waiting pink butt hole. My fingers return there after a couple of seconds. Soon, Misha, soon ...

“Take them off! Let me go!”

“You sure whine a lot, don’t you?” I chuckle and push my fingers deeper, searching for his prostate. It doesn't take a long time to find it, I have lots of practice. He hides his face in the pillow as he moans. I found it, I smile to myself and thrust my fingers a few times more.

“Please, just tell me:are you fat?”
I look at him with surprise hearing his question. Oh my vain, little, soon-to-be bottom, I really have so much to teach to you.
“Do I feel like fat to you?” I decide to lie next to him ... no, bad idea, ON him. Much better idea. I enjoy the touch of our naked bodies. My penis nudges his opening and I would like just to slam into him ... but no. He has been sleeping around quite a lot, I don't want to get any funny disease. Must put on a condom. Then I move downwards his body, licking at his firm buttock and I touch his opening with a thumb, thrusting in and out again. He trembles under me.

“You bastard.”
Hearing him calling me bastard - after I have been so considerate and nice to him- makes me angry again. I bite his left cheek quite hard. He screams.

“You fucking piece of shit! You fucking crazy arse!”

Well, he certainly can cuss! I nip and lick the abused skin for a moment than start laughing. When the bout of laughter passes, I stroke the skin and tell him, "You do have a bad mouth, I should spank you.” It suddenly seems a wonderful idea and I do just that, slap him hard on the right buttock.

“You annoying dick! I’m supposed to leave with my family to a cabin this weekend, how do you expect me to go to the sauna with my father with that biting bruise on my arse?!”

I can't help another chuckle. “Does your father often stare at your arse?” I inquire, leaning forward to be able to speak straight into his ear.

“Well it’s kind of hard not to notice when one is naked!” He sounds annoyed.

“True, and that was the reason why I did bite you, I like to mark what is mine.” I answer him, my voice now sweet as honey. I haven't forgotten my idea of making him mine, now is the perfect time to remind him of that.

"Yours!? Well I ain’t one of them, so leave my butt alone.”

“You’ll soon be mine, and that does not include leaving your precious butt alone, very much the opposite I’m afraid.” I explain, not mentioning to him now, that being mine will be a more permanent thing than just this one time. Then I come to the conclusion that I have enough of this play and move myself to sit on his firm butt cheeks. I grin to myself, only a few more moments and you will be mine, Joni. I reach for the condom, open the small packet and slide it onto my swollen member, then I lie on him again, guiding it to his well prepared opening.

“Don’t you even try…”

I don't really pay attention to what he is speaking, being so close to finally taking him. “I want your cherry… are you ready?” I murmur and I try to thrust inside him but I'm off the aim and just slide along the crack between his cheeks.

“No!”

Damn, he is so tight and tense. I use more strength to get my head in him and then, with another hard thrust, the whole member. He feels so tight, he must be tensing and it's not good for him. He screams. “It will be okay, just relax, soon you’ll enjoy this,” I try to soothe him with my voice as I start to move in him. It's his fault, if he didn't tense so much, I would be able to wait a little and let him adjust. Now I have almost zero control over my body. I feel him trembling under me. I keep thrusting into him, hoping to hit his prostate and then I hear his moan. A sweet sound, I come to the conclusion I want to hear more of this sound.

“Faster…” I hear him whispering ever so quietly. “Harder…” He asks soon after.

I smile as I oblige with his wishes. I knew he had this in him! My hips move faster, delivering harder strokes. Then I rearrange us, lifting his hips in the air, making him kneel, but his head still rests on the pillow. You asked, you shall receive, my little obedient bottom, I think to myself, and I start to stroke his hard shaft, still continuing to rock forcefully in and out that sweet butt hole. In an out, hard and fast ...

He comes in my hand abruptly and I deliver a couple more strokes, enjoying the tightness and the shocks of his climax. When I am close to my own climax, I decide to slide out. I remove the condom from my member, and rub against his buttocks, finally coming with a loud groan. I fall on the bed next to him, enjoying the sweet feeling in my body.

Coming back from the pleasant haze takes me some time but when I am finally able to move and think normally, I kiss him right behind his ear, where most people are so sensitive to the touch, and untie his hands. Then I sit up and pull him to myself, making him sit on my lap. He struggles quite a lot so I keep him more tightly against me. I need him to calm down before I remove this blindfold of his. When he seems calm enough - though I don't believe he actually is so calm as he pretends to be - I say reassuringly, “Now, I’m going to remove this blindfold so just relax.” I try to untie the scarf as delicately as I can.

He jumps away from me almost immediately, backing away from the bed.

I grin at him a bit stupidly, maybe waiting for him to tell me it was a great fun. It certainly was but he keeps silent and I start to feel a bit uneasy. So I decide to ask, “Well wasn’t that fun?”

“You arse! Do you often kidnap people and rape them?!”

“It was hardly a rape and you can’t kidnap the willing.” I feel offended with the insinuation. He came here willingly. Maybe not too sober but willing.

"Oh so I was willingly tied down and blindfolded?”

“You were passed out.” I decide to lie a bit and I smile at him. After all I tied him down when he didn't know about it, in his sleep. “And we did talk about it before you did.”

“Oh really?! Why don’t I remember any of this? How should I believe you? I don’t know you!”

“You really forgot everything didn’t you?" I sigh but grin at him again. " Oh well, I might as well introduce myself again since we’re going to see each others more often from now on. I’m Misha, but my friends call me Vodka.” I reach out my hand to shake his. That is if he decides to shake it. Because there is no doubt in me that he won't like to shake it.

"Vodka?!” He laughs almost hysterically and just stares at me and my offered hand. "I should have guessed." He continues. “And what do you mean see each other more often? I can assure you, this….” He points at the bed and shakes his hands in the air, “is never going to happen again!” I let my eyes wander down on his naked body and then it seems to hit him that he’s still naked so he reaches out to cover himself whit the blanket. “Now, where are my clothes?”

His attitude is so ... annoying, I was nice to him and he treats me like shit. So I decide to mess with him a little and come closer to him, trying to look dangerous. He moves backwards, soon his back hits the wall and I have him trapped between my body and the cold wallpaper. I press closer to him, enjoying the contact with his warm body, feeling I could get aroused very soon. “Before I forget; Cecilia Lumme says hi,” I decide to tell him, just to mess with him even more. I don't want him to think I went after him willingly, he is too vain already. I have to teach him a lesson in humility. Then I kiss his neck, stopping myself from actually biting it, no need to be too forceful right now.


I go to fetch his clothes, they are in the kitchen (his shirt) and in the bathroom (his jeans). I collect them and bring them back to the bedroom. When he snatches them from my hand, I decide to make him more aware of the fact that he is mine now. Mine as in permanently. Hopefully for a long time.

“Now Joni, I’ve heard the rumours about you and that has got to stop. I am a jealous man and I don’t want you sleeping around, understand?” I warn him and decide to add, "I am watching you, just so you know, I have friends Joni…” I am not lying, I have lots of friends, harmless people they are, really, but he will take it as he wants to take it. It's his problem what he thinks of me. If he is a little afraid, he will try to be obedient. If not ... I have other means of making him more obedient.

“Oh do you now? I find that quite surprising.”

“Anyway as I said, I have friends and if you still can’t keep your pants on, then I will be forced to take some drastic measures.” I warn him again. I don't like the things to be unclear between us, well, maybe except that 'friends' part.

“Excuse me, but what makes you think I owe any explanation to you of my doings?” He asks while buttoning up his shirt.

I take out a packet of cigarettes and light one. Then I answer his very unintelligent question, “Because you’re mine now.” It should be obvious to him, does he need me to spell it out? He looks at me with his mouth open and then he starts to laugh.

“You’re even crazier than what I thought you were. I don’t belong to anyone, least of all to you. You can not control me. I. Am. Independent. Got it? I’m not a slave, and you. Are. Not. My. Master.” He says slowly.


Oh, how wrong you are Joni! I am your master, as much as you are my slave now. As long as you resist me, you will be treated like a slave. Then the image of Joni, bowing down, naked, spread wantonly for me and me only and whispering 'I am yours, master, take me and do whatever you please' pops in my head and refuses to leave.

He turns and leaves the room and I follow.
"Joni," I almost shout at him. See him checking his wallet, oh too late for that I already have everything I need.

"Joni!" I call him once more but he doesn't respond so I come to him, grab him by the arm and ... What am I doing? Am I trying to stop him? Do I need him so desperately? No, definitely not. “I’ll see you tonight.” I promise him with a smile.

He laughs pulling his arm free. “Wouldn’t hold my breath.” He says. “Get this through your thick head; you are lucky that I won’t be going to the police about this, we will not be seeing each other, I am a free man to do what ever the hell I like, alright?” He dresses his coat on.


“I’ll see you tonight Joni.” I say again as I watch him leave my flat, closing the door behind him. Then I turn around, whistling with contentment. That was a morning to remember, I think to myself as I head to the bathroom to take a shower and prepare for my day and for my night...

Chapter 18.

Vodka:

You have to understand how mad I was finding my bottom about to cheat on me on the very first chance he got. Anger burned me, tormented me and I must have scared the shit out of little guy, who meant nothing to me at all; only that he had no right to touch Joni, he had no right to touch what was mine!

Staying into the room alone with him, him threatening to call the police; a phone ready in his hand and I had no doubts that he would go along with his threat if he could. I had to snatch it from him. I took my chance; succeeded in it and I held him close, wanting him to feel just what he did to me; how hot he made me.

He struggled and kicked me managing to make me lose my balance and fall onto the floor conveniently right on top of him; after he had somehow managed to trip down over his own feet.

Vainly he tried to turn our position, fighting to get the upper hand which I would never give him. He smelled so good, of cleanliness and musk and it got me crazy from lust.

I am stronger than him, it is not out of cheer fun that I go to the gym. I opened my pants, he kicked me, and then he bit my shoulder; for crying out loud! I quickly pulled him back when he tried to crawl away. So he wanted it rough? I decided to give him just that.

He is feisty, he has spirit and will to fight and all it does is to turn me up even more.

I was rough with him, you could say that I merely used him to get my own pleasure and to be honest I didn’t much care for his comfort right then, I was just too angry. All I can say to my defense is that I tried to hold myself down, but my holding down lasted less than a minute after I was inside him.

My bitch, my bottom, I’ll teach him, I’ll tame him.

The temptation was too great I wanted to cum on his pretty face. There he was, one of the most sexiest guy I had seen, and one of the most annoying and vain creatures in this world; on his knees, helpless in front of me, my cum on his face. He was even more beautiful right then, right there, I was almost tempted to take a picture and keep it in my wallet.


**^^**^^**^^**^^

I drag him towards where I assume to find the bathroom. He tries to fight me, his eyes narrowing, I simply push him in. He stands there looking at me like a wild animal that’s been forced into a corner.
“Would you please release my arms.” He asks then, breathing tensely.

"Anything for my little bottom, if he asks so pretty, like that," I smile at him and release his arms from behind his back. I strip from my clothes and get into the shower, turning the water on I look at him, waiting for him to join me.

He looks at me, biting his lip slightly and hesitating. I wait patiently. Slowly he moves towards me and gets in, keeping a small distance and watching me warily. He reaches out to take some water in his hands and washes the cum away. I see his obvious discomfort with me but ... oh, well, if he decides to act like a virgin I defiled, then so be it. I turn away from him, snatch the sponge, soap it and start washing myself. And let him just watch me, getting accustomed to my presence around me, after all ... I do want to make it a more permanent thing. The faster he accepts it, the better for him because I'm not going to give up easily.

I listen to what he is doing behind me. If he asked ... I could ... but no, he leaves without a word. I finish showering, then get out of the shower and dry myself with a fluffy towel. I look at my clothes ... um ... not too fresh after our little fight ... I wrap the towel around my waist and leave the bathroom like that. Well, I would have nothing against parading all naked, he has seen everything I have, besides, I am not ashamed of my body in any way ... but I want to give him some more time. I exit the bathroom and shout, "Joni, babe, do you have some sweatpants that would fit me?"



Joni:

I hear his shout as I am dressing fresh clothes on. What? Sweatpants? Babe? Just who does he think he is?! I think angrily. I take out a white t-shirt and pull it on. Swallowing my annoyance. I mean this guy just waltzes in here, frightens my fuck buddy away and the fucks me raw like an animal and now he wants me to give him sweatpants? Uh, the nerve of him!

Sweatpants! I’m almost huffing out loud, going through my clothes and not answering to him, lost in my own thoughts; then I suddenly notice that I am actually holding a pair of sweatpants that would fit him just right. Oh God what's wrong with me!?

He walks into the room and takes them from my hands "Thank you," he smiles. "Would you happen to have a shirt as well?" Lowering the towel and dressing the pants on, he looks at me, waiting. I look back at him, not sure what to say. He's just so arrogant! I give him one of the largest t-shirts that I have in my closet, he has a broad chest so... Really, why the fuck am I giving him things?! I'm suddenly very annoyed with myself. I really should just give up and crawl to his feet and ask: ‘Oh master, would you please tread me like shit! Please take everything I have, oh please master!’

"Um, you're not too sore? Sorry for being so rough with you but ... I was serious, Joni, I don't share, you must understand that." He asks suddenly.

Again I glare at him, oh so now he's concerned if I'm sore? "What do you care? Why? It's not like we're a couple." I say then and walk over to the bedroom window and opening it, feeling like I could use some fresh air
He walks behind me, his hand reaching to touch my neck he start rubbing it gently.
"Hm ... you don't see it that way ... I on the other hand ..."

I look at him, feeling his touch and actually liking it. I feel so confused, why is he making me so confused?! I feel like ripping in two, then I feel dizzy again.

"This is crazy, why are you-?” I pause. “Uh!" I snap then and walk out of the room into the kitchen, thinking about getting a beer, but first I need a glass of water.

I lean towards the counter, my back turned towards the doorway and somehow I just know that should I turn around; I would find him standing there. I don’t know what to do and I am starting to remember more. The previous night, I really did ask for it, didn't I? We actually did have fun, but... Still, I feel so torn inside. He is about to turn my whole life upside down, he is ripping me of my self control and there is no turning back if I let him stay. And he's so rough and he's so... so... uh! He is something, a real piece of work.

Vodka:


I come into the kitchen and stand by the table, watching him more as he leans a bit on the counter. Oh, that firm ass of his ... I decide to stay for the night, there is no way I will leave him alone! He would get to the bar and find another fuck buddy ... besides, that ass ... I feel myself start to harden a bit. “I’m staying for the night,” I tell him as I sit on the chair by the table, my eyes still on him.

He turns around, looks at me and sighs.
"No, you are not." He replies shortly and takes a beer out of the fridge.
Feeling myself thirsty after all the exercise we got so I ask him, "Give me one.” Ouch, it has come out more like an order but ... oh, well, let him get accustomed to it as well, after all until he behaves nicely and is faithful to me, he is going to be treated like a slave ...
“Why should I give anything to you? You’ve taken enough and I want you gone.”
“Give me.” I demand, grabbing his arm as he passes me. Strangely, him being obstinate, starts to turn me on.
"Ask nicely," he insists, I almost want to laugh, but maybe I should just humor him, after all I really was quite rough with him, so maybe I should try to make it up?
“Fine, please give me the beer, babe.”
“I’m not your babe.” I see his lips twitch a little, maybe he even wants to smirk? Oh, my little bottom thinks he won? I must correct it immediately so I stand up and slap him on his butt .. his firm sweet ass ... um ... yes, another round is in order!

"Hey!" I give him a wide grin and lean closer to him, my mouth brushing against his ear, my tongue reaching out to lick the delicate flesh. Um, such sweet taste, such clean smell ... my bottom really knows how to turn me on, even if he does it unconsciously. “I’m horny…” I murmur in his ear and push him closer to the table. I kiss him deeply on his mouth, feeling that he isn't protesting too strongly. He is learning fast! I lift him up, ripping his t-shirt rather forcefully from him. “Your ass is just too lovely.” I try to explain to him, taking my already hard member from the pants.

Again I kiss him, at first he doesn’t respond and even tries to fight it, but then he gives in and kisses me back! Good and I was beginning to think that I’d have to get him drunk more often to get him more cooperative. He really was much sweeter last night. He trembles, his hands on my chest again not sure if he should push me away or invite closer.
“Misha…” He whispers softly.
“Mmm…” I murmur against his skin, kissing his throat. “Touch me Joni,” I intended it to be an order, but my voice is losing the edge.

His hand moves down on my body, almost unsure.
"What is this Misha, what are you doing to me...?"
I gasp at the exquisite feeling of his hand on my member and I watch him as he closes his eyes. Why?
"You think too much, Joni. Enjoy more, think less," I chuckle and then I add, "Open your eyes, I am not disgusting to you, am I?"
Carefully he open his eyes, "no you're not, but you’re still a prick and we should stop this." But still he continues to stroke me and in his eyes I see how he struggles with himself.
"Be careful, Joni, with that dirty tongue of yours or I may want to put it to a better use," I suggest playfully and kiss him once again, catching his lip between my teeth and pulling it a little, then biting it - no, not hard, very delicately ... ok, quite hard, but carefully so as not to split it. My hips start to move a little, his hand still on me. "Mmm ... I want you, now!" I demand.

He moves his hands on my shoulders, biting his lip, wriggling helplessly. He still has his pants on and I start to fumble with the zip of his pants, freeing his member and stroking it to full hardness, wanting him to enjoy it as much as I do. "Do you like it? Do you like me touching you?" I ask him, my voice raspy with need, but I still control myself.
“Mmmh..." He turns his head, slaps my chest weakly for few times, then squeezes my shirt inside of his fists. He moans again, his breathing changes, he’s gasping, squeezing his eyes shut, his neck bents back and I would like to tell him that it’s alright, like to tell him…
“Just let yourself go, enjoy Joni, let yourself enjoy this.” I whisper.
“I can’t.”
“Yes you can.”

“Do you want me to stop?” I ask, not sure if I could if he would say yes. He opens his eyes once more and I keep stroking him; hoping that he’d just give in. He shakes his head as I almost stop completely.
“Don’t”
“Don’t what?” I ask.
“More. Don’t stop.” He almost looks ashamed by his words
"I don't intend to," I continue my hand movement and at the same time I am trying to get his pants off that lovely ass of his. "Oh, nothing would make me stop now, Joni." Finally his pants are off and on the floor and I grin at the sight.

But then he closes his legs tightly together.
"What if I won't give it?" He asks with a hint of playfulness in his voice.

So, my little bottom wants to play? That's a good sign, even if he decides to tease me. A mental note to myself: put my little bottom in a more playful mode more often, he's more fun then. But for now I should just show him two can play this game. So I reach with my hand as if I wanted to stroke his member but I only touch it very lightly, waiting for his response. I will torture him like that until he willingly concedes ... oh, yes, he will beg me this time ...

Joni:

Oh the bastard, he can't do that?! He can't just almost touch it and then not. I try to follow his hand, and then mentally hitting myself as I play right into his bag. I glare at him, wondering. I open my legs ever so slightly, bring my hand down on my torso. "You want this? Do you?" I ask him. "Would you like to get inside of me, would you?" Then I bring my other hand on my lips and start sucking on my finger. If I can't top him, I can try control him this way, can't I? I smile to my clever thought or what I think is clever with my lust filled mind

"You seem to be very eager to have me in you," He chuckles. "So eager as to prepare yourself for me with that finger..." He grins then, and brings his hand to stroke my thigh

Dammit, I'm not eager to get him inside me, I am not, really.... really, really... really? I look at him.

"Why would I do that? Why would I prepare myself for you?" I ask him, I move the finger which I just sucked, down on my body, on my member. "Maybe I'll just have my own fun? Maybe I just let you watch me?" I grin at him, starting to stroke myself slowly, watching him. I really am overwhelmed with my lust, this guy... Just moments earlier he just took what he wanted from me, can he control himself now I wonder... Let him suffer, the horny bastard, hot horny bastard.


Vodka:

The sight of him stroking himself is a hot one but still - no, he can't do that, I won't allow that, I won't allow a bit of control he would like to exercise over me. So I reach for is hands, grab them and move them away, pinning them over his head with my one hand. Then I resume my almost non-existent stroking. Just barely, just so ... Meet a master, Joni, a master in sweet torture.

He growls at me, and then he moans, wriggling. "Not fair," he complains. "You bastard, " he bites his lip. "Please..."
"What did you say, Joni?" I ask him. "I didn't hear quite well."
Again he growls with frustration. "Please,"
"Please what?" I decide to tease a little more.
"Please touch me."
"Where?" I ask again, leaning over him, whispering into his ear.
"Umh... you know where..." He looks into my eyes and I know how he hates to beg me, but can’t help himself.
"I have no idea ..." I pretend oblivious, though my hand is ghosting over his member.
"You're mean..." he accuses. "My cock, I want you to touch it, I deserve as much." He says narrowing his eyes; dark whit lust and need.
"I decide here what you deserve, Joni," I inform him with amused voice, "And so far you didn't earn anything. But ... if you open those pretty legs of yours ..." I am now using my best tempting-seductive voice, "I may oblige with your wishes, who knows?"

He is mad, I can see it from his eyes but it so amusing really, he knows I won, I always win. Turning his eyes from me he opens his thighs, but only a little so.
"I hate you."
"Good boy," I smirk at him and give him one harder stroke, ignoring his 'I hate you' remark. Just one stroke.
"Ungh....more..." He begs me.

"Wider, please," I instruct with a lust-filled voice.
He looks like he really hates himself when he does it.
"You see? You really have it in you," I smile at him and I step away, though I would like nothing more than to bury myself in him, my cock hard, throbbing and becoming painful. But he deserves a reward. So I come to the fridge, open it and quickly scan its contents. And spot a bottle of olive oil, the expensive kind. That should suffice, I think to myself as I unscrew it and pour some of the slick liquid on my hand, leaving the bottle on the counter. I come closer to him and smear some of the oil around his exposed butt hole.

Joni:

I moan slightly as I feel him rubbing the oil on me, damn, if Jesse only knew what was being done to the olive oil he bought few months back. Who would have guessed? This time I manage to pass easily the memory of him, now it seems so far away suddenly. I tense slightly, fearing the pain would come, I try to relax then, my hand reaches out to touch his arm, something that I don't even realize doing at first.

His finger moves gently inside, massaging my previously abused walls. He slowly moves in the second and waits until I start to get used to it, until I find myself calming down and slowly relaxing, I know I must relax, it will be much better if I do.


I was beginning to doubt that the word gentle didn't belong to his vocabulary, but I may have been wrong. I open my eyes and look into his. I like it rough, I dreamt of it as a top, and ... and I like it as a bottom,(if I am true to myself) but on the other hand... some things, I understand them better now... He is more like me than what I am willing to admit out loud.

Vodka:

I start the scissoring motion, getting more and more impatient to get inside him, that lesson I taught him, was a lesson for me, too, in self control and patience. Uh, I would like to drive into him with something else than my two fingers, damn! He feels tight around them, so tempting, so hot .. Oh, god! Patience, Misha, patience, you're not a neanderthal ... Ok, so maybe I am around him ... I thrust my fingers in and out, a bit quicker than previously, then pull them completely and decide he doesn't need more preparation, he's still loose from our last time. I use the remaining oil to lube my cock and position myself against his glistening hole. "Joni, I'm back!" I give him a bright smile and push inside, trying to go slowly. OK, trying, trying .. Ug, it's harder than I expected, I am half way inside him and already losing control. Damn! My muscles are quivering with the effort to control my body but I can't take it anymore and finally push the rest of my cock into him with one quick shove.

He lets out a small sound, one of pain, one of shock or pleasure? I’m not really sure, but I do feel as he’s trembling more heavily now. He wraps his arms around me, burying his face against my neck as if suffocating a pained sob. But I don’t want him in pain now, not anymore, he got his punishment already, now I want him to enjoy.
"It's alright," He whispers quietly after awhile.

And that is all it takes for me to lose the control I had been holding, and start moving in him ... slowly ... no, who am I trying to kid?! I want him, I want him bad, my little teasing bottom so even if I start slowly, I pick up speed with every thrust. He really does feel perfect around me. I grab his ass and bring him closer to me, almost on the edge of the table, allowing myself more space, more free movement. I start to nibble at his ears, he has sexy ears, not too big, so lick-able, so nip-able ... uh ... "Joni ..." I moan his name.
His hands moves lower gripping my ass and squeezing, willing me to go deeper.
“Misha…” He moans sweetly, “Misha…” He repeats soon after, I don’t hear pain in his voice anymore.
My name in his lips sounds ... my brain can't even analyze what it sounds like, I want him to moan it again and again. And then he willingly, WILLINGLY tries to kiss me. If my brain wasn't so overloaded with sensations, it would go into deep shock. But as of yet, I simply return his kiss, moaning into his open mouth and go even faster, wanting to fill him with ... oh ... he feels so good, both previous times didn't feel actually as good as this one ... I reach with my hand between our bodies and give his member a couple more strokes, wanting him to come before me. Because I feel I will come VERY soon. He returns by pushing his hips forward to meet with my movements, sweat glimmers on his forehead making his hair stick to it, I gently stroke his hair away, lay my forehead against his, with trembling lips I kiss him taking in a moan.

He breaks the kiss, closing his eyes and bending his neck back, I feel as he comes, his muscles tightening around me and that is all I can take before I explode in him.
I am lying heavily on him, panting after the sudden and forceful climax and feel his hands curl in my hair. We're both sticky with sweat and his come and ... oh, my god, I forgot to put on a condom! I. Forgot. A. Condom! How the hell did it happen?! OK, Misha, don't panic ... "Joni ... I took you raw ... no condom ..." I mutter and try to turn it into a joke, " ... which means, you get to be mine exclusively, if you like it or not." I wince slightly, is he going to scream at me? Well, it's me who is in more danger of getting a funny disease ...

His eyes look at me in confusion, still weary and relaxed after the sex. A hint of nervousness in his eyes as he then realizes what I just told him, and after he feels it; my cum leaking down on his thighs. He wriggles up from under me.

“I am healthy, I am not stupid for God’s sake, though everyone seems to think I am. I take a test regualy, I took one just two weeks ago and it was clean. So I sure hope you are too.” He looks at me in that searching way of his.

The invisible weigh lifts from my chest, for a moment I was imagining myself queuing to the doctor who treats funny diseases ... But his words ... thank you lord, he was being careful ... "Yes, I'm clean. I don’t act all slutty and sleep around like you." Ups, shouldn’t have said that. Why, oh why did I say that?? He narrows his eyes at me.

“Well, feel free to leave this slutty place immediately then, I do not need you here to judge how I live my life, not after everything…” He stops, glares at me one more time before taking
his clothes from the floor and walking away towards the bathroom.

“Joni,” I call him. We were doing so great and now another step back. I sigh deeply. I follow him into the bathroom to find him in the shower.
“Go home Vodka.” He says looking at me.
“No, I’m staying here.” I inform him and step into the shower with him before he has time to leave.

“I said go away!” He says, trying to push me away. God he’s being so hard headed! I grasp his arms tightly, push him against the wall and kiss him forcefully.
“I am staying Joni, you are not going to push me away. You are mine now, try to understand it already.” I hiss at him, he is driving me crazy with all his angst.
“Why? Why do you have to have me as yours? I don’t understand.” I look at him quietly, holding him still. It’s not out of the challenge anymore, partly yes, but party it’s something more. The sound of the shower water around us, his tense breathing and my own.
“Because I want you, because I hunger for you and I know it won’t stop. You are mine, accept it.” He shakes his head. “Why do you have to be so stubborn? Give in, just give in.” When he doesn’t reply I kiss him, I kiss him long enough until he surrenders to it.

His fire, it will not be put out so easily and nor do I think it should, but I want to tame him just a little, enough to make him mine and enough that I can trust his faithfulness.


**^^**^^**^^**^^**^^**

He lets me stay, but he’s being very quiet. He sits on the couch, the TV turned on. I move in the apartment and I feel his eyes following my movements. I stop in front of the window to look at him, he quickly turns his eyes away. I decide to sit next to him.
“Why won’t you get us some beer babe.” I say then, yes I still feel the need to order him around, he has not earned to be treated as an equal yet, who knows, maybe sometime later when I have taught him a thing or two?
“Get it yourself,” He snaps at me. I pull him closer, squeezing his wrist.
“I’m also a bit hungry Joni, why won’t you make us something to eat while you’re at it?”
“You can’t push me around like this in my own home!”
“I can and you know it.” I smirk at him. He looks like fighting his anger.
“And I suppose you’d like it if I served you naked.”
“If you would, I certainly wouldn’t object. As a matter of fact, I would kind of like it, very much so.” And I place my hand on his thigh lean over to kiss his neck. When he slaps it away and stands up.
“Well you can forget that!” He tells me as he walks into the kitchen, again I have to fight with myself not to laugh, he certainly gives a guy a great entertainment.

He returns with a tray, that carries; two beers and some tomato cheddar pasta on two plates and some french bread; good little slave, I think smiling to him. He doesn’t look at me, but sits on the floor in front of the TV. And starts eating. I clear my throat and he glances at me from over his shoulder.

“Oh please, you can help yourself this much.” He rolls his eyes and turns back to watch the program.
“Joni, you will get that pretty ass of yours up from the floor and serve me.” I can see how his neck muscles tense. The way I see it; I was kind of nice to him last night, I was the perfect host and he could do the same now and more, because he needs to learn to be more humble.
He laughs then.
“I say this again; I’m not your slave! You can get up from your behind to help yourself.” Okay, this will not do. You can’t give an order and let them get away with it, it’s a simple thing really, one that every teacher should remember. I reach out and take his arm.

“Joni, babe, you will do as I say.”
“Why should I?” He asks. Now every teacher should give their students clear reasons when they ask, but… in this case…
“Because I say so and you’ll obey. Serve me, or should I fill my hunger in other way? Should I perhaps fuck you for the forth time?.” I hold back a grin, I actually wouldn't mind another go, he is just so tempting.

Gritting his teeth Joni hands me the beer bottle. He takes a servlet and places it on my lap staying on his knees, then he hands me the plate and the bread.
“Are you pleased now master? Should I lick your feet master?” He plays with the role in sarcastic manner, but I rather like it that he called me master.
“Yes my slave, master is very happy, you could rub my feet, not necessary to lick them.”
“Oh just shove it!”

Later that same evening, after few beers, he’s moved back onto the couch with me. He starts to get comfortable around me and when I pull him closer he doesn’t fight, he yawns and lays his head on my chest. I slowly stoke his hair, feeling like I could really, really get used to him. I wouldn’t mind, I certainly wouldn’t mind, what I would mind is him cheating on me, him leaving. No, mustn't let that happen. When he falls asleep in my arms I know that he must, deep down, feel comfortable around me, if only he would admit it to himself. I gently nudge him, whispering that we should move into the bedroom. He nods his head, lets me lift him up and carry him.

So he’s adorable when he’s drunk and when he’s tired, when he doesn’t have the energy or the will to fight. I kiss his forehead as I lay him down; my little bottom, you really are mine now, aren’t you? I gently remove his clothes, his eyes are half open and he looks at me.
“You’re quite weird Misha…” He yawns. “I do not know what to make of you….” He mutters.

I smile at him, undress myself naked and join him on the bed wrapping us both under the blanket and then I pull him close to myself. I kiss him more softly this time and he responds to the kiss.
“You’re the weird one, my little bottom.” I touch his nose.
“Oh shut up,” he mutters, but there’s a lazy smile on his sweet lips. Slowly the sleep claims us both.

**^^**^^**^^**

Joni:

I wake up into him humping me, he lays on top of me rubbing our morning hard ons together. I moan when he kisses me. He grins at me.
“I want you again.”
“You can’t…”
“In your mouth.” He tells me, moves up pinning my upper body between his legs and pushing his cock against my lips. “Suck.” I try to turn my head, but can’t. Why am I doing this? I wonder as I finally open my lips taking him into my mouth. He groans pushing in deeper and I bring my hands on his hips trying to tell him to slow down before he chokes me. He pulls out and in again. I’m so being used; I think as he finally fills my mouth with his cum, which I’m forced to swallow.

And then the door bell rings.
“Oh my God what time it is??” I push him away and look at the alarm clock: 11.03 am. “Shit!” I stumble up from the bed and wipe my mouth frantically. “Hurry, get up and dress! It’s my father!” I hiss at Misha who sits on the bed looking at me stupidly. Then he stretches his arms calmly, hiding a smirk of amusement, “It’s not funny; hurry for fuck sake! I can’t let my father see you like this.”
He walks over to me.
“When will you be back from your trip; with the sauna and your father seeing your ass?” He asks touching my neck. I glare at him, I don’t have time for this. I try to pull myself free but he stops me.
“When?”
“On Sunday, I’ll be back on Sunday.” I tell him.
“Good, I wouldn’t want to stay away from you too long. I couldn’t.”
The door bell rings again and I pull my pants up and hurry to dress my t-shirt. “Stay here!” I tell him as I hurry to the door closing the bedroom door behind me.

“I’m coming!” I yell and check my face from the mirror before opening the door.

“It took you long enough, the fish await son!” My father smiles to me stepping in the he looks at me more closely. “You look a bit flustered, are you alright?”
“Yes father, um, I-“ When you have just given a blow job and swallowed another man’s cum, your father is not the first person you want to see. He sighs.
“You’re not even ready yet,” He says then.
“I, uh,” Then I hear noise from my bedroom; oh no he wouldn’t??

“You have company Joni?” My father frowns at me.
“Uh no, I um, it’s the repair man.”
“Repair man?”
“Yes, something wrong with the pipes.” I think up in hurry, feeling the need to lie to my father. And then Vodka appears; fully dressed, but buttoning his shirt; dammit! I HATE HIM.

“Good morning sir, a nice day out, is it not?” He smiles brightly. My father looks at him and then at me; I grit my teeth together and try to look everywhere but at my father. “You must be Joni’s father? A pleasure to meet you, sir.” He offers his hand to him and my father, in his stunned state, shakes it.
“I’m Misha… The repair man apparently?” Vodka looks at me bemusedly raising his eyebrow, happy with himself. If looks could kill, he’d be so dead. “No need to worry sir, your son’s pipes are now properly checked.” He continues then. He dresses his coat and shoes on, his hand already on the door knob. Then he turns, grasps me and kisses me full on the lips right in front of my dad.
“I’m sorry sir, your son just…” He looks at me. “Well one can’t help to resist those lips.” He smiles so innocently, like a man in love. “See you later, sweetheart and be good!” The door closes after him. There’s an uncomfortable silence between me and father. I dare not to look at him, he’s never actually seen me kissing another guy, he’s seen me with my boyfriends and always known, but never seen anything like… well anything like that.
“A repair man Joni?” He asks then, raising his eyebrow,
“Crazy bastard,” I mutter, “Better go and pack.” I excuse myself quickly. I’m not going to get rid of Misha anytime soon, am I? And to be honest, I think I wouldn’t even want to, even if he is a bastard.
 

Chapter 19.

Jesse:

We agreed to meet at the sea shore, I’m there early, I’m always early and sometimes I hate this obsession of mine to be early in fear that I’ll be late and I think… I think I should have made Marko wait.

The day is warm, sun is shining no need for an over shirt. A family with two small kids; a girl and a boy are feeding ducks nearby, the girl is giggling, the boy tries to snatch some bread from her as he’s already used his piece. The mother forbids him, gives him a new piece from her bag. A man jogs past us.


I’m not sure what I’m doing; going on a date with Marko…. With MARKO, the guy who my now currently ex-boyfriend fucked with; thus why I’m no longer with him. This is crazy, isn’t it? I’m basically trading a guy who was fucking around to a guy who’s been whoring his ass quite a lot if the rumours are true… What was I thinking? What am I thinking? I should just go, shouldn’t I? Stand him up? Yeah, that would be wise I think, might be the smartest thing I’ve done in a while: a date with Marko, Mr. Paris Hilton? Honestly...

I stand up, ready to escape from the spot.

“Hi Jesse, I’m sorry if I’m late, I um…” I turn to his voice; he has light blue jeans on that fit him perfectly and white tank top, sunglasses which he takes off and lifts on the top of his head. He looks really good. “I admit that I was thinking you might not be here, but I’m glad that you came.” He tells me.
“Yeah.” I say stupidly, looking at him, it’s such an odd situation really.
“It’s quite a hot day, isn’t it? I had a hard time deciding what to wear.”
“Me too,” I agree.
“You look good Jesse, I- I like that shirt of yours. Is it new?”
“Oh thank you, yes, I bought it yesterday.”
“Cool.” Awkward moment of silence follows. “I’ve never been on a first date before so, you have to excuse me, I have no idea how to go about these things.” He laughs then a bit nervously.
“Really? Never?” I ask and he shakes his head.
“Yeah, um usually… Well usually I meet a guy, they want sex and um… Well sometimes they call sometimes they don’t.” He shrugs his shoulders and then bites his lip.
“Oh,” I say, lost for words for a second, hesitating if this date is something I should even continue, but then I look into his eyes, seeing the insecurity and hope, so he’s not perfect, so he’s slept around, but does that mean that I shouldn’t give him a chance? And then I remember the day in his room, remember his father and the way Marko laughed as we jumped on the bed making his father think that we were doing something else entirely. Something in him… I don’t know for sure, but I do know that I am interested. I saw a glimpse of his life and I had no idea that it could be like that, his father… hm… maybe it explains why Marko has been doing the things that he does?

“Look Jesse, I understand if you’re…”
“I though we could go to the sea Fortress*” I quickly interrupt him, “to have a picnic, it’s such a lovely day for a picnic.” His smile melts me.
“Yes, that sounds nice. I love picnics.” He tells me sounding excited, then he blushes a little. “I’m sorry, like I said; I’ve never been on an actual date before.”
“It’s okay, first time for everything, eh?” I smile at him, “So let’s walk to the pier?”
“Okay.”

**^^**^^**^^**^^**

We find a quite peaceful spot on the rocks of the sea forth, I place a blanket down on the ground and urge him to sit down with me.
“It’s beautiful here.” He breathes out, closes his eyes and takes a deep breath of the fresh summer air.
“It is, yes,” He opens his eyes and looks at me; this time his eyes look bright green; beautiful.

“Strawberries?” I offer, he reaches out and takes one.
“I love strawberries.” He smiles and I watch as the berry disappears in his mouth. “Mmmh…” His eyes close, he licks his lips for the taste and I find it hard to concentrate to anything else. “Delicious.” He smiles.
“Sparkling wine?” I ask then.
“Oh, yes, please; wow sparkling wine and strawberries, this is so nice. You know Jesse; there are easier ways to get into my pants.” He chuckles. I look up to him almost spilling the wine from the glass. “I’m just joking, really, I stop.” He blushes. I hand him the glass and he thanks me.

We hear as some foreigner coupe approaches looking for a picnic spot. The woman looks at us with wide eyes, Marko raises his glass to her.
“Cheers and yes; we are GAY.” Then he laughs as they look at us, the man takes her hand and leads her away as her lips twist a little in a smile.

“Honesty Marko…” I shake my head
“What?” He blinks his eyes innocently. “I know she was wondering so I just thought I’d make her happy so she won’t have to keep wondering, it would be a terrible thing; to wonder, maybe not being able to get sleep because of it and now she can go home and tell that she saw a gay couple on a picnic! Imagine that.” I raise my eyebrow and lay the rest of the picnic stuff on the blanket.

“Oh, chocolate cake! May I?” He asks.
“Go right ahead.”
“Thank you,” He says and hurries to take a piece and eat, almost as if he had never seen this much food in his life. “I’m sorry again, my eating manners needs improvement, don’t they?”
“Well, don’t worry about it. I like watching you when you eat,”
“Uuh, kinky…” He grins.

“So um Jesse, we’re supposed to ask stuff from each other, right? Like interview each others?” He asks and takes a sip of the wine.
“Uh, interview?” Hm, well I guess one could put it like that, I think to myself. “Well we can just talk about stuff.”

“Okay… So Jesse, you’re working at a coffee house right?”
“Yes, I have to go the army in January and after that, well I think I’ll study to be a doctor.”
“Army, huh?”
“Yes, have you gone to the army already or?”
“Nah, I think I’ll do the civil service stuff. The way I figured it out; is that it’s much better for our country’s safety if I’m not allowed anywhere near heavy armery.”
“Really?” I chuckle and take a piece of French bread.

“Yes, my family has had this terrible luck for as long as I know. My great grandparents died during the last war and apparently my big uncle; the big brother of my grandma disappeared, was taken by the enemies at 15 years of age. My grandma, she’s quite old and living in nursing home, she has trouble remembering resent stuff, but she claims that her brother was… sodomised by the enemy. I don’t know, but… anyway, long story short; I don’t want to go to army, I could never shoot anyone should there ever be another war, which I doubt, but anyway... So yes; civil service, I’m hoping I could go serve it in some library; be the protector of the books or something crazy…”

“Did you know that my grandma and her younger brother lived in Stockholm after they became orphans.” He changes the subject.
“Really?”
“Yes. And your father is Swedish, right? Have you ever lived in Sweden?”
“I have, yes, I was actually born in Stockholm, we moved here when I was 4.”
“Swedish are so hot.” He says then just as I’m taking a sip of the wine and I almost choke to it, I can’t help but to laugh.
“Is there any nationality or culture that you wouldn’t find hot, I wonder?” He takes a little pause, thinking while nipping on a strawberry.
“Hm… no, nothing comes to my mind…oh, except you know that tribes that have have like a plate or something in their mouths? You know what they do is; they take the lower lip and put a hole in it and stick in some kind of plate, I saw a document about it once and I have to say; that would just be weird, I mean how does one kiss when you lower lip is like a mile away from the upper? Do they not like to kiss?” There’s a concentrated frown on his features and I really have a hard time keeping a straight face.
“You know what Marko? I have no idea.”
“Yeah, I suppose it’s one of those great mysteries of life.” He shrugs his shoulders again.

“Going to the army must suck.” He says then.
“Yeah well, it’s not like I look forward to it; camping in the woods, hiking, freezing my butt out there in the winter, early wakings. As I said; I’m not looking forward to it, thank God it’s only less than a year.”
“They’re going to cut your hair all short too, good thing that you have a pretty head… But it’s a shame still, I like your hair the way it is now.” He turns his head to the side, looking at me, I grin at him.
“It will grow back.”
“Yes, it will and I bet you’ll look hot in that uniform, I hope I get to see you wearing that.”
“Maybe you will…” I tell him and he looks into my eyes smiling in such a happy way.
“God I must be grinning like some idiot now.” He lifts his hand to cover his mouth. “And I bet I’m blushing too…”
“You look cute.” I tell him reaching out to move his hand away from his face with the courage that the sparkling wine has given me. Our hands stay together for some time and I have this tingling feeling in the bottom of my stomach and for a while I can’t say a thing. When I finally look back into his eyes and I see him looking back, my heart beats quicken and I find it safer to let go of his hand.

“Didn’t Pete ever take you out on a date? How did you meet with him anyway?” I ask then, though I kind of know that one shouldn’t talk about ex’s during the first date but I feel that our situation is different.
“Well, we met… We met at a club, a friend of his introduced us, it was… it was just sex at first, then he wanted to see me more often and… Well, we did go out, but always with a group of people I never thought of them as dates… But he did take me on a trip once; Italy, to Rome, he had some work stuff there. Oh, it was great Jesse, so much to see and the scenery and the cafe places; truly the best coffee I’ve ever had. I even got see the great Colosseum. It was the first time I had ever been abroad, if I don’t include visits to Stockholm and Tallinn. But well it was like, um, Pete was on his business meetings and the only time we really spend together was at the hotel room, we had sex every night, I think that’s the reason he took me there with him, the reason why he wanted me around for so long. It’s not like he loved me, I don’t think he has ever loved anyone, he wants young guys, who are fit and look good, that’s the only interest to him, it was never like this; it was never like; how are you Marko? What do you think of this, or how was your day? No, he wasn’t interested in me, just my body and the only things we really ever talked about was of him or things he wanted. He bought me things, he did say nice things, called me a sweetheart or honey; but from his mouth they were just words without any meaning.”

It was kind of like I thought, Pete is a jerk who treats people like they are things that he owns.

“He had an eye for you Jesse too… You might have noticed.” He says then.
“Um yeah, kind of…”
“Darling; that’s what he called you.” Marko continues then giving me a half smile, a sad smile somehow. Oh so Marko did know. “He sometimes talked about you and Joni too, the way you were together and and how you both pleased his eye… ah but enough about that. Let’s talk about something else, like do you ever plan to move back to Stockholm?”
“I don’t know I might and then again I might not. So far I’m happy here, my family and friends are here though I do have relatives and friends in Sweden too. When I get out from the army I think I apply to medical school both here and there.”

“And what about you, Marko?
“I have no idea. I only just barely made it out from basic school and… And I don’t know what I want, I can dance, I can… um I don’t even know what I can.”
“There are lots of things you could do… So this dancing thing?” I start.
“I could become a stripper.” He laughs and looks at me. “I’m kidding Jesse. You know… I’d like to work at a library but I suppose I would need some education for that… One thing is for sure; I don’t want to end up like my dad.”
“You could still go to school you know.”
“Maybe I will.” He smiles at me and I smile back.

**^^**^^**^^**^^**

It’s almost 10pm when we finally take a ferry back to the town. We’ve been talking like non stop and I really find him more and more interesting. We walk a bit more, close to the shore.
“It’s a beautiful night.” He says, watching far to the horizon.
“It is.” I answer and then I stop him, standing on the eye level with him, realising that we’re actually the same height.
“It’s getting rather chilly, isn’t it?” We look deep in each other’s eyes, it’s that moment; not sure whether to kiss or not, wanting it so bad, but hesitating.
“Yeah, it is.” He bites his bottom lip, watches me and carefully he brings his hand to my cheek, looks at me as if asking that one final question, his lips coming closer and I slowly decide to act, my arm reaching out to his waist, my lips touching his, my other hand in his hair and we kiss, right there at the sea side, soft summer breeze blowing past us, not caring who might see us. And I know that I am lost.

“Are you using a bus to get home?” I ask him with a whisper.
“Yes, are you?”
“I’m taking the train, I’ll walk you to your bus stop.” I tell him and kiss him again, his mouth tastes like mint after the gum he just chewed.
“Okay,”

**^^**^^**^^**

“So um, that’s my bus.” He tells me, I’d like to kiss him again, but now there are too many people, some of them drunk and I want to get safely to my train.
“Okay, I’ll call you tomorrow, what time do you think you’ll wake?”
“Ten, maybe eleven, you can call me after eleven or what ever suits you the best.” He smiles. “I had a nice time today Jesse, it was different but nice, I don’t think I’ve ever had as much fun.”
“I had nice time, too, I’ll see you and good night.” I touch his hand very lightly. He smiles.
“Good night, thousand times good night…” He grins. “…and this would be where I would kiss you, but I want you to get home safe so I just imagine doing it.” He whispers and then he walks to the bus, waves me through the window and I wave back.

What am I getting myself into? I wonder. Could we really make it as a couple? Already my heart tells me ‘yes’, it’s my brain that wonders. Maybe I just think too much? Maybe this is the time to follow my heart?

Chapter 20.

Marko:

What a strange thing, going on a date and not being asked for sex after it. It’s certainly the first time that a guy is actually interested in what I think and not how I give head.
I’m smiling like an idiot the whole way home, so what if people think I’m crazy? I’m crazy happy, butterflies still in my stomach and I feel like nothing in the world could bring my mood down now. I want to tell about Jesse to my grandma, I want to tell to the whole world how happy I feel.

“What are you smiling about?” Dad asks me when I’m finally home preparing an evening snack for myself.
“I’m smiling because I was on a date with a wonderful guy, because I’m insanely happy.” I tell him.
“Some man brought you some smelly roses, I threw them in your room.” He tells me, takes a beer from the fridge and walks away.
“Roses?” I whisper quietly to myself, place the sandwiches that I made on a plate, pour myself a glass of water and walk into my room. A bouquet of red roses lay on the floor and I kneel down take them and see the envelope on the side. I place the sandwich plate down on my table, sit on my bed and open the envelope.

“Dear Marko,

I miss you sweetheart, I’ve been thinking and I am willing to forgive your cheating, I just want you back. It is rare for me to ask, but I am asking now; so please come back. I miss your sexy ass Marko. I’m leaving to Paris one week from now and I have a ticket for you. I’ll be waiting for your answer.

With love: Pete”

I really don’t know what to think, I certainly wasn’t expecting this. Paris; I’ve always wanted to go to Paris. I think of all the luxury that Pete has to offer, but I also remember being unhappy most of the time with him, remember how selfish he was in bed for one thing. I place the letter down, walk in front of the window and look out. “Jesse.” I whisper and smile, I know what I want. Though it was only the first date, though I have no idea will it work, could it work, I decide to take the risk and try. I want to break free from this life, I want to be as happy as I was today for all the days of my life.
I pick up my phone and dial the number.
“Honey,” Pete’s voice answers with fake tenderness.
“Hi Pete…”

**^^**^^**^^**^^**

Jesse:

I call him the next day, trying to wait, but ending up calling him just 11.10am. My parents wonder my sudden cheerful mood.

“Alright; who is he?” Mom asks with curiosity, when we are eating dinner that night, just after my second call to Marko; agreeing on a second date with him on the next day.
“His name is Marko,” I decide to just tell them. I am feeling more certain about him, more certain that he might be the one I want.
“And how old is this Marko?” Dad asks me.
“He’s my age, we actually went to the same upper level school.” Both of them smile at this.
“When do we get to see him?”
“I don’t know, um…”
“Why won’t you ask him for a barbecue next Friday?”
“Maybe… I’ll think about it.”

And I did think about it, the next day when I saw him and we had coffee together, the day after that when we went to the beach to swim, the day after when we had a walk and ate ice cream at the park. I asked him then, to come over at our house on Friday; barbecue with my family, watching movies and playing video games after that.
“You could stay for the night?” I suggested, nervous somehow, feeling the growing want for him and not quite knowing how to go about it with him, Marko is so different from Joni, so, so different. He smiled, eating his ice cream.
“I’d love to,” he grinned, and carefully I kissed him tasting the strawberry ice cream in his mouth, holding his hand in mine and wondering how perfectly our hands fit together. No, he wasn’t a silly blond anymore and I really couldn’t see why I had ever thought of him as such.


Cecilia and Pauli were with us that evening. A lovely day for a barbecue. Dad had his silly apron on and a cook’s hat. They welcomed Marko in, curious and asking questions, some of the questions making him feel a bit uncomfortable as I noticed.
“What do your parents do for living?” Mother asked him while Dad was grilling the meat with Pauli.
“My dad, um he’s an architect and um my mom…” He hesitates, glances towards me, I take his hand and close it in mine, nod my head to him, “My mom is or was a travel agent, but I- I haven’t seen her in years.”
“Oh I’m sorry dear.” Mom tells him.
“It’s okay.”

“I like him,” Dad tells me when Marko is inside visiting the restroom. “I like him better than the last one; same size, same age, yes far better than Joni was.”
“I agree with your father, he seems like a very sweet young man.” Mom says then.


**^^**^^**^^**^^**

We walk upstairs into my room to play some video games, before we decide to watch a movie; Pirates of the Caribbean; Marko’s choice. I move the TV so that we can watch it on my bed, a bed that’s wide enough for two. Arranging pillows for us and getting some snacks and coke we start the movie. I’ve seen the movie so many times already, can’t bring myself to concentrate on it the same way as Marko does, instead I steal glances at him, watching his butt as he is lying there on his stomach, next to me laughing when ever captain Jack Sparrow appears.
“God he’s so funny.” Marko comments.
“Mmm..” I agree finally allowing myself to touch him, I bring my hand on his lower back, he turns his head and smiles at me.
“You know what would be cool?”
“What?” I smile back.
“To be a pirate. You know; sail far into the horizon, find a secret place, hide from the rest of the world. We could be modern day pirates… I want to be like Jack Sparrow, he’s so cool.”
“Yeah…” I bring my hand on his bum, finally and for the first time really touching it. I squeeze a little. Oh God I am getting hard. I’m getting more bolder with the touches and then I finally look up at him, see him looking back, his eyes half open, breathing through his mouth. He turns on his side and brings our bodies closer together, kissing me very lightly, looking into my eyes and I kiss him back, closing my eyes drawing my leg between his thighs, squeezing his butt; my new obsession. He moans quietly as we start rocking our erections together.

“Do you want to?” He whispers quietly, breaking the kiss and looking into my eyes.
“Yes, isn’t it obvious?” I chuckle softly, kissing him again. He smiles at me. “I’d like to hold you in my arms naked.” I tell him then, keeping my voice very low. He sits up, removes his socks first, and then he pulls his shirt off. I start undressing too, all the while watching him, still lying on the bed.

“Is the door locked?” Marko asks, once he’s wearing only his boxers. I shake my head and watch as he walks to the door and turns the key inside the lock, he then returns to me smiling, his cheeks slightly red and an obvious bulge inside his boxers much like inside my own. I sit up before he reaches me and decide to pull him on my lap, he laughs quietly and we kiss again. I turn him around on his back and under me, his hands moves down on my back on the waistband of the boxers and slowly and carefully he frees my member from the tightness, leaving me naked.
“We could do 69?” He suggested then, agreeing with him, I turn around on top of him, pull his boxers down and take his cock in my mouth just as I feel him doing the same. I moan, squeezing my eyes shut, moving my head up and down and making slow movements with my hips, his hands squeezes my butt, I feel like I’m in heaven.

Curiosity takes me over, I moisten my finger with my own saliva, continuing my sucking I find his hole with my fingers. I feel the skin around it, circling and finally pushing my finger in, feeling the tight muscles around it. I push in deeper, circle it around in his hole and I know I’m growing even harder in his mouth. I pull my head up, freeing his cock, wanting to look at his genital area better, his pubic hair is light brown and he’s trimmed it down. I gaze more carefully at that pink hole of his; looking very clean and irresistible, I give it a lick. Then licking it again, spitting on it, taking my time as I slowly prepare him. He continues his sucking, moaning quietly every once and a while.

Finally I decide it’s time to try something different. I move around again, kiss his lips and his neck.
“I’d like to go inside of you…” I whisper very quietly.
“I want you in.” He tells me then. I take some body lotion from under my bed and use it on him and on my own cock. I’m eager to feel him, to fill him. I lay on top of him, finding the best position for us, I want to be able to see his face when I do this.

“Are you comfortable?” I ask him.
“Yes, very.” He assures, kissing me softly, I guide my cock against his entrance. In fear I might hurt him, I have a hard time getting in at a first try.
“Push in harder, I won’t break, I promise.” Marko smiles at me, looking into my eyes. I kiss him as I push in hard and finally succeed getting the head in, the rest goes more easily. I gasp at this new sensation, gasp as I feel the tightness and how warm it is. I lay on top of him, stroking his hair, kissing his nose and his cheeks, waiting to get used to this.
I finally start moving, trying to be as gentle as I can.
“Are you okay? I’m not hurting you, am I?” I ask with worry, this being my first time like this and I’m not sure how I’m doing.
“I’m fine, feels good, you’re doing good, Jesse. I love the feel of you in me.” He whispers, again we kiss. I take his hand in mine and I look into his eyes, holding his gaze as I keep moving, making love to him slowly wanting it to last forever.

Suddenly there’s a knock on my door and I freeze.
“Boys, there’s milk and cookies if you’d like?” My mom’s voice calls, God she has the worst timing ever.
“Um, we’re all good, maybe later!” I shout back trying my best to sound as normal as possible. I listen until her steps echo away from my door. I look at Marko whose face is red and who’s biting his lip trying not to laugh.
“Oh God…Good thing that the door was locked.” He says then, we both laugh quietly and then I kiss the side of his ear, he turns his lips and captures my lips with his own.

“Let’s turn around?” he asks then. I nod my head, pull out and lay on my back, he moves up, brings his other leg to my other side, takes my cock and slowly sits down on it, taking sometime before sitting full on top of me, my whole length in. He leans down and kisses me, starting to rock his hips. Then he leans back, I admire his beautiful body, running my hands on his sides and finally closing my fist around his cock and start stroking it. I then grasp his hips, again he leans closer to me and I feel myself getting closer, so close. Finally we both reach our orgasms.

We lie on the bed side by side, I stroke his hair, his neck and his back.
“No one’s ever been as gentle with me as you were, I liked it. I think it was the best time I’ve ever had…” He whispers quietly looking at me. “I feel so happy now.”
“I’m happy too, that was just the first time, imagine what the other times will be like; we’re only learning.”
“So you want to keep me then?” He smiles.
“Yes,” a kiss, “yes,” another kiss, “and yes,” third kiss. He wraps himself around me, almost squealing.
“I love you,” his face against my neck and I am surprised, did I hear him right? He stays that way, maybe scared to look at me and I touch him, kiss his shoulder.
“Look at me, please… Marko, um, sweetheart?” He looks up biting his lip.
“I’m sorry, I… you don’t have to say anything, it was stupid.” He brings his hands to cover his face.
“So you don’t love me then?” I ask and I can’t help but to grin, he looks so cute. He’s quiet for a while,
“Um, no, I mean yes…uh I did mean it…” I take his hands away from his face.
“It’s alright, because you know what? I think I love you too… No, leave the think out of it, I do love you.”
“Really?”
“Yeah, really.” And then he giggles, and grins and kisses me, and we roll on the bed. And I know it’s crazy and I know it’s fast, but oh it just feels so right.
 

Chapter 21.

I arrive back home, feeling oddly disappointed of the fact that I haven’t heard a word from Misha the whole weekend. I was sure he’d call me or something, and I was sure I’d be annoyed by it, but no; nothing. And then I realized that I don’t even know his last name, nor do I have his phone number.

Another slight disappointment fills me when I find my apartment quiet and empty. Another thing I was almost sure about; to find him there when I would return and the place would be a mess and at worst there would be a group of noisy Russians drinking the content of my bar cabinet. But no, nothing, no signs of him.

Oh I suppose it’s just good. I sigh, looking at the time; 8.30pm. I undress my clothes, take a long hot bath washing myself carefully and a part of me waits for him, listening to voices from outside my door, from the hall and feeling disappointed every time that the steps walk past my door. Did he forget me? Doesn’t he want to see me anymore? And why the fuck am I like this? I should be glad! I should be fucking thrilled.

I get up from the bath, dressing new clean clothes. I take a beer from the fridge and sit down in the living room in front of the TV. It’s 9:10 pm, he’s not coming? I was so sure he would. Where could he be? What is he doing now? Is he alright?

And then I scream at myself, when realising where my thoughts have once again ran off to.
“I hate that guy, he is an annoying prick, I am happy if I never have to see him again.” I tell myself out loud. It’s then that my doorbell rings.
“Misha.” I stand up quickly, perhaps a bit too quickly, place the beer down on the table and walk to the door. I take a deep breath trying to compose myself from acting like I had missed him.

“Pete?” I ask in confusion, I had not expected him. He uses my surprise to walk in, “What…?” I ask, my hand on the door, but I have no time to close it or do much anything, when two big guys follow him in and close the door, making me back up a little.

I look at them in confusion; Pete and the two guys I’ve never seen before; big, muscular and ugly. Pete turns and smiles at me,
“So you fucked with Marko at my cabin?” He asks, smiling still in a way that I don’t like and I am lost for words for a second.
“Look Pete, um can we talk about this later? I’m quite busy now. I’m going to have to ask all of you to leave.” I walk towards the door with intention of letting them out, but then one of the men grasps me and pushes me against the nearest wall, making me hit my head against the stone. He holds me there tightly, grinning at me.

“Let me go…What’s going on? Pete?” I ask looking at him with anger and part fear.

“You shouldn’t have touched what’s mine Joni, you know that… It makes me angry when other people touch my things. What are you going to do to make it up to me?” He walks closer to me, his smile never fading, his fingers touch my lips very briefly and I’m beginning to panic.
“Pete, let’s just talk about this, okay? Just ask your friends to leave and let’s sit down and talk.” The guy who has his beefy hands on me, whose breathing is kind of ragged and who looks at me as if wanting to eat me, looks then at Pete, who nods his head to him.

There's a sudden blow to my stomach, I fall on my knees and try desperately to get air back into my lungs.
"Take him to the bedroom." Pete tells them.

I’m being lifted up and dragged across the apartment and thrown harshly onto my bedroom floor, I taste blood in my mouth. With no time to react the guy pulls me up to my knees, his sweaty hand becoming to cover my mouth.

“Pretty…” The ugly beast whispers, hot breathing on my skin and my eyes widen with horror. Oh god, where is that annoying Russian when I need him?! Please Misha, please use your key, please come to me. I keep begging in my mind.

Chapter 22.

Pete walks closer, looking at me and smiling. He kneels down at my level, both of his friends are now holding me in place. Pete wouldn’t have a chance against me if he was alone, he knows it. He brings my shirt up as high as he can get it, his ugly friends help him with getting it off and I try to struggle, I try to scream, but they stop me. Too many hands.

I met Pete when I was 18, I hanged out with him, with his friends and he often made suggestions to me; which I always turned down. I wouldn’t bottom for him, or for anyone and after some time he gave up on trying. Friendship might be too strong of a word for our relationship, hanging out in same group of people; yes, but friends? No. I never did like him much and I should have kept my distance like I was once advised to do, but I was young and loved to party, hell I’m still young and love to party, and Pete and his friends held the best parties.

And now, now he’s going to use Marko as an excuse to get me? Against my will, but he thinks it’s justified? It feels hard to breathe, my heart is beating more wildly than ever and I keep praying in my mind for the only person who could save me now.

They move me onto the bed. One holds my upper body down, trying to keep me silenced at the same time, other one is fighting with the zip of my pants, pulling them down, undressing me, but I won’t let them so easily, I kick and I struggle with all that I have and they are cursing as they try their best to hold me down.

“Joni, Joni…” Pete says then, looming over me, his hand touches my forehead and my hair and still he smiles. Easy to smile when you have two big goons to help you. “You’ve been a bad boy, haven’t you? This is for your own good. You need to be taught a thing or two.”

Oh great; everyone seems to be wanting to give me this lesson. Pete stands on the bedside, looks into my eyes as he slowly removes his belt. “I’ll have the first go, you can have him after I’m done.” He says calmly and I let out a muffled cry. Naked on the bed, my legs hauled open and kept that way, in my own apartment, on my own bed and it’s a nightmare that I can’t wake up from and part of me still questions if it’s really happening, hoping that I am just dreaming a bad and afoul dream.

“He sure fights a lot, dammed slut; almost kicked me on my manhood.” The one who holds my legs takes note, and hell yeah, I keep fighting, kicking and struggling, I won’t lay down for them willingly; never.

Kneeling down on the floor and touching my bum, Pete notices the bruise on it; he touches it making me wince.
“Someone's been here before, eh Joni?” He asks slightly surprised.

“My boyfriend will kick your arse if you don’t let me go now; he’s big and angry and a Russian!” I hiss as I momentarily get the ability to speak. Oh God I would crawl at Misha's feet, I’d do anything he would ask me if he only would come and save me now. Boyfriend? I’m not sure, but… I guess I wouldn’t mind, I just want him here, oh how I want him here.
“Boyfriend? A new one already?” Pete raises his eyebrow, his finger dangerously close to my opening. The one holding my upper body, kisses me then, straight on the lips, licking, sick sounds. I bite his tongue; get that you bastard. He slaps my face with anger.
“Don’t you try that again, or I’ll fucking hurt you so bad.”

Hands, all over me, and I can’t move, can’t escape. Pete shoves his finger inside me and I cry out with shocked surprise as it becomes even more real, even more terrifying.
“Easy now, easy…” A voice says, distant, calming; fake. “Good boy”

When my hope is already starting to die, when I think I can’t be saved, that I really am going to be raped and beaten in my own bedroom, I hear the merciful sound from the front door; key turning inside the lock and how the door slowly creaks open and I let out a relieved cry; I’m not alone anymore, I know it’s him. Pete frowns looking towards the bedroom door, pulling his fingers out. Misha's voice calling my name. I close my eyes, starting to think that maybe there really is a God.

**^^**^^**^^**^^**

Vodka:

I have been trying my best not to contact him and I have succeeded, I don’t want my little bottom thinking he can control me and thinking that I can’t resist his charm. No, I must be the one in control and that means to make him wonder and doubt, I’ll come for him when it suits me, not the other way around.

A weekend has never felt as long as it did now, I really hope that he’s been a good boy, maybe little bad so I can punish him, but only a little.

Sunday, I hang out with my friends, in the evening we go to one pub to have some drinks. I keep glancing at the clock trying to decide what a proper time for a visit would be. I feel so incredibly horny, I can’t wait to be buried inside him again; my little bottom.

“Do you think that he’s waited enough?” I ask from my friends. Dimitri checks the time.

“Well…I say… Go and fuck him, you need it, he probably needs it, too.” He says then.
“And I say; make him wait a little more,” Johanna says.
“Yes, he’s waited long enough Vodka; just go.” Niko tells me then.
”So that was two yes and one no? Okay I go. See you and have fun.” I drink my beer glass empty and place it back on the table.
“See you! Tell him we said hello and that we want to see him!” Johanna shouts after me. I just wave my hand at them and keep walking.

It’s 9.40pm when I reach his door. I take the key and use it to get in.
"Joni?" I call him.
Hm… Strange; shoes on the floor, that I’m sure are not his, and then I hear strange noises from the bedroom, is he cheating again? But then again … A muffled cry?? Something very weird is going on. I rush towards the bedroom and open the door, I definitely didn’t expect to see this and I gasp in shock. Joni is lying on the bed, naked, two men holding him down as the third… I look at the third, belt loose, pants open, about to… Oh, no fucking way! I grasp the man; surprised to see me, I hit him once and throw him forcefully against the wall.
“Let him go now!” I roar then at the two guys. The one holding his legs, lets them loose and approaches me, keeping the distance, looking at me warily and the guy is big. The other one still holds Joni in place, looking a bit nervous. The smaller man who I just threw against the wall stumbles up from the floor. I need to be quick. I punch my fist at the big guy’s face and quickly move away before he has time to punch me back. His nose starts to bleed.

“You better let go of my boyfriend and leave NOW! Or hell will break loose and I swear you’ll all find yourself in jail if you don’t do what I say.”
“Relax, we were just… messing a little.” The man who was about to stick his dick inside my little bottom says. I. Want. To. Kill. Him. I glare at him, then I grasp his throat squeeze it.
“If I ever find you anywhere near Joni; you’ll all be so dead!” I roar then, ready to tear his head off if he won’t listen. The guy is ready to wet himself, a sorry excuse of a man. “Do you understand?” He nods carefully and I release my hold.
“Aki, Markus; let’s go.” He says then, I’m trembling from anger, only seconds away from actually committing a murder. I can’t let that guy so easily, so before he actually has time to walk out of the room I punch him hard on his face and deliver a fierce powerful kick on his crotch. “And I fucking mean what I said; you fucking sick perverse!” They leave, one limping in agony caused by my kick.

I force myself to relax, and I look at Joni; who sits up carefully, there are tears under his eyes and his face looks pale, his eyes look shocked. Anyone would be shocked after that.

“Are you alright?” I ask softly and concerned, approaching the bed. He looks at me then, nods his head and finally throws himself in my arms and I hold him, trying to soothe him as best as I can.
“They were so ugly Misha…so ugly, smelling…” He whispers, holding on to me even more tightly.
“So ugly…”
“They are gone now, come, dress up; I take you home with me.” He nods his head and gets up from the bed, I notice he’s a bit shaky.

“Baby…” I stand up and walk over to him; he dressed his shirt the wrong way. He looks at me in confusion. “Your shirt is upside down.” I tell him softly and he looks at himself.
“Oh, how stupid of me.” He says then takes it off turns it and dresses it back on.

“I’ll call a cab.” I tell him then and watch as he takes the clothes from the floor, walks into the kitchen and throws them into the trash can. Then he packs up some stuff; toothbrush, deodorant, a change of clothes. He looks at the bed then; suddenly he rips the sheets off from it, walks into the bathroom and stuffs them into the washing machine.

“Are you sure you’re alright?” I ask him with a worry.
“Yeah, of course I am.” He answers simply and I’m not that convinced.


When we get into the taxi, he carefully takes my hand in his, concentrating on the view from the window. “Thank you Misha.” He whispers then, turning his eyes back on me.
“Anytime, I can’t leave you alone anymore can I? Seems that you attract danger.” He smiles just a little and then lays his head on my shoulder.

“Did you mean that boyfriend thing? You called me your boyfriend.” He asks quietly.
“Yes, I did.” I answer and bring my hand in his hair playing with it.
“Okay,”
“Okay what?”
“Okay I’ll be your boyfriend.” I smile at him, wrap my arm around him. I can see a smile on the woman’s face who drives the taxi; and I think I heard a little, quiet; aw?


The poor thing had a very rough day today, I decide to give up on the master thing for tonight, well until I’m sure he’s really okay; how far did they go anyway? I should have come earlier, I somehow feel guilty about not being there early, I really was only seconds away from him being… Poor thing, he looks so young now, sitting there; on my couch in front of the TV.
“I’d like a glass of something strong.” He tells me, “Please?” He adds.
“I’ll bring you a drink, are you hungry?” I call from the kitchen. Pouring him a glass of rum coke.
“I’m fine, tired.” He tells me, I walk over to him and give him the glass which he takes and drinks.
“I think you should eat something, I’ll make you an omelette.” I tell him then.
“You’ll make me?” He asks. I nod my head.

I return to him, leaving the omelette on the stove to cook. I give him a beer, he looks at me gratefully and takes a sip.
“Um, you know…it’s alright to cry if you… um, feel like it?” Ugh, I’m so horrible at stuff like this.
“Cry? Why would I cry, I’m a man and not some fucking cry baby.” He looks at the TV a frown on his face, trying his best not to look at me.
“I’m here for you Joni…and I…”

He brings his hand up to his face and rubs his eyes.
“My eyes sting, must have gotten some trash in them…” He whispers, he sniffs, biting his lips and looking away, he trembles.
“Joni…” I move a bit closer, touch his shoulder and at first he tries to shake my hand away, still avoiding my gaze.
“I’m fine…” He lies.
“You don’t have to say your fine, you don’t have to act like you’re fine; Joni, you were almost raped tonight and I think it just needs to be said, needs to be faced so you can get it out of your system.” And then he breaks down, his shoulders down and he hides his face completely. I pull him close, wrapping my arms around him, letting him cry until my shirt is all wet from his tears. I rock him gently.
“It’s alright, just let it out, you’re safe now. I won’t let them anywhere near you again, I promise.”
And finally he’s cried enough, but still he stays close to me and I play with his hair.
“I think I need to send a thank-you note to Cecilia.” He whispers quietly, I kiss the crown of his head, smile very lightly,
“Really?”
“Yes… I’m glad that she… that you…” He sighs deeply, frustrated of not finding the right words. “If I hadn’t met you … I’d be laying in my bedroom now; bruised and raped and… It would have been Pete to…” Knowing what he means I kiss his forehead again.
“But it wasn’t… You’re mine now and I won’t let anyone else have you, and certainly not like that. But yes, I think we could both send a thank-you note to Cecilia.” I smile softly. Yes, I really want to thank her; who would have known that a drunken challenge to tame a cheating top, would get me here, would get us here?

“So you knew those guys?” I ask then.
“I knew Pete... not the other two… He… um. You must know about Jesse and me, since you know Cecilia. Pete was the boyfriend of the guy who I cheated on Jesse with… Oh, which reminds me; I really need to warn Marko, that ex of his is crazy! Where did I put my phone?” He sits up, looking around.
“They won’t get away with what they tried to do to you, I swear to God. And whoever this Marko is; I’ll make sure he won’t get to touch him either.” I tell him squeezing his hand. He smiles to me.
“Thank you Misha, for everything…” and carefully he reaches out to kiss me, I give him a gentle kiss back, touch his face tenderly. Yes, I could really get used to him.
 

Chapter 23.

Jesse:


I was kind of surprised to see when my sister received a bouquet of flowers and a thank you note from Joni… I mean what?? And if that wasn’t enough there were also greetings and thank you from Vodka as well. Cecilia, when getting the delivery was just as surprised as I was, she couldn’t close her mouth for good 5 minutes or so.

This is the strangest summer ever…

Joni called me later, asked me when I’d like to come and pick up my stuff from his place. I agreed to meet him the next day, at the shopping mall, where he works as a guard.

**^^**^^**

I wait for him, at the same coffee place, where I usually waited for him when we were still an item. Feels odd sitting here now, since everything has changed so fast. I hear the sound of his laughter, he’s walking my way, chatting with the other guard, both dressed in their uniforms, and a smile creeps on my lips, I can’t help but to admire how handsome Joni looks. I still remember the day when I first saw him wearing that uniform, I think it was the day when I really fell for him, the day when I had sex for the first time in my life.

His eyes find me and he smiles, saying a quick goodbye to the other man. He walks towards me.
“Hey little one,” He teases, “sorry I’m late, we had a bit of a situation, well the clothing shop upstairs had a situation and they needed us to solve it… so, anyway, let me just run down and change, I’ll be right with you.”
“I’ll be here.” I tell him.
“Would you like something while waiting; more coffee? A glass of coke?”
“No, I’m fine,”
“Are you sure?” He raises his eyebrow. I nod my head. “It’s such a hot day, let me just get you a drink of something.” He says and walks away before I have time to say anything. He tells something to the coffee girl, she laughs, blushes: gods they always do that. And still, even though I’m not his anymore, I find it annoying. He soon returns with a fresh strawberry shake, which he places down in front of me.
“There, now, give me like 10 minutes or so and I’ll be back.”
“15 minutes, alright, I’ll wait.” I grin at him, knowing he’d take his time in front of the mirror. He smiles and shakes his head as he walks away. I watch him go; it still feels so odd.

**^^**^^**^^**

“How have you been?” He asks as we walk towards the bus station.
“I’ve been alright… I’ve…” I start, then look at him, not sure if I should tell him about Marko or not

“I’ve heard that you’re seeing someone new,” he says then, and gives me a smile, a sad smile somehow and I’m about to reply when he already continues, “so, you and Marko, huh?” I smile, looking down at my shoes.
“Yeah, me and Marko.” I tell him.
He’s quiet for a while. There’s a frown on his face like he’s thinking about something really hard.

“What do two bottoms do together?” He ponders out loud, and glances at me, I can’t help but to laugh.
“How’s Vodka doing?” I ask after I’ve gotten over the laughter, I raise my eyebrow bemusedly. Cecilia told me everything later, after the flower incident. Joni looks a bit surprised with my question, but he gets my point and mutters something I can’t hear clearly. “What was that?”
“I didn’t know that you knew…”
“I saw the flowers and Cecilia filled me in.”
“Ah yes, the flowers, I was drunk when I ordered them,” he shakes his head, but smiles. Silence settles between us. I almost reach for his hand, out of old memory, but before my hand has time to do what it was about to do, I remember and pull back.

It’s not like I would want him back, not like I would rather be with him than Marko, it is just that it’s been such a short time since we broke up, and I guess part of me hasn’t realised the change yet and my body still responds to his closeness, the familiar smell of his cologne, the familiar smile on his face and we look at each others silently, unsure what to say.

“How was work?” I decide to ask, wanting to get rid of this uncomfortable silence.
“Nightmare,” he replies, but grins after. “It was the first day after holiday, you know how it is… Gods these holidays end too fast, don’t they?”
“I know, my work starts next week, and I hate it.”
“Yes, I remember. I mean I remember that your work starts next week.”

The bus arrives and we get in, I sit next to him, the warmth of his, so close and again my hand almost reaches out to touch his thigh, I remind myself: it’s over, we are nothing but friends now. And I think of Joni with Vodka, trying to imagine him with the tall, well build blond. I partly feel jealous; Joni gave to Vodka what he refused to give me.

My mind wanders off to my current boyfriend then, how cute he was this morning, how he makes me laugh and how he kissed my nose. How he danced for me last night, Shakira’s hips don’t lie song, how sexy he looked and how funny it was at the same time, how we made love after everyone else was asleep.
“What are you smiling about?” Joni asks and I turn my face to look at him.
“Oh, just thought of something.” I tell him and he nods his head and gives me a smile.

After Joni, I think I need to talk to Kim, it bothers me greatly what happened between us that night and I haven’t heard a word of him since, part of me is feeling guilty. I always feel guilty about everything, it’s frustrating and tiresome.


**^^**^^**^^**^^**
Vodka:

Hard to concentrate on work when my mind is constantly with him, my little bottom. I stare at the computer screen, trying to focus, but then I remember how he moaned so sweetly as I fucked him two nights ago, damn I feel horny, it’s been exact 36 hours since I last had him, clearly far too long, but last night he spend at his dad’s place.

Maybe I should get him some sort of gift? What to get him I wonder, what could it be…hm…

“Lost in your thoughts I see, where could they have wondered of to? Or should I ask to who?” I raise my head and find find myself looking into the amused eyes of Cecilia.
“I was working, I’m very busy, can’t you see?” I ask her, unable to hide a smile as I’m typing.
“Look Vodka, I got the flowers, I got the thank you note, now what on earth was that?”
“A prove to you that I won?” I ask innocently.
“Hm.. okay, I can admit, you have won…but… I think you enjoy more than just the victory of our bet, and really; what did you do to get Joni send me flowers?”
“What I did? He was in trouble, I came just in time, that’s enough.” Remembering that night still makes my blood boil, I have to stop typing to collect myself.
“Are you…” She starts, I look at her.
“Am I what?”
“Are you in love, Vodka?” She asks and I start to laugh.
“In love? Don’t talk silly woman, I don’t do love.”
“I’ve watch you the whole day my friend, that look in your eyes, that smile that keeps creeping its way on to your lips, and…” She suddenly opens my desk drawer. “ah-ha!” She has Joni’s picture in her hands. “I was right!” I snatch the picture from her, and put it back into my drawer.
“Look, I’m not in love, I- I like him, he’s sexy and he’s weird and I like sexy and weird and I like his butt. That’s it.”
“You keep telling yourself that, but I still say that you’re in love and it should be you two to take me out, because I matched you two up, but oh I guess the flowers will do!” She says as she walks to her own desk. In love? Me? No, only women fall so fast. I’m in lust, that’s what I am.


After work I decide to hold on to the idea of getting him a gift. I walk past a flower shop, glancing at the bouquets in the window, quite pretty… but yeah right; did you really expect me to give my bottom some freaking flowers? Not likely, I have something on my mind, something entirely different, something both of us will enjoy…


**^^**^^**^^**^^**^^**

Jesse:



We reach the apartment where I used to live with him. It’s hot in, I feel like undressing, but that wouldn’t be very proper now would it?
“It’s freaking hot,” Joni complains as he walks over to the living room window and opens it, not that it helps much, as the air outside is quite heavy. “Do you mind if I take a quick cold shower?” He asks then.
“No, I can read while waiting or something.”
“Thanks, I won’t be long.” He promises and walks into the bathroom. “There’s beer in the fridge if you want!” He shouts then, soon I hear the water running. Then I get a text message, from Marko, I smile seeing his name and open it.
Guess what honey? They offered me a job from McDonald's, ugh; grease! Hehe, but it’s money right? Do you still love me if I smell like french fries and grease? *puppy eyes* Okay I am going home now, shall I come to your house this evening or do you have something else?
I answer him straight away,
You know I’d love you, it just might make me wanna eat you *grins* And of course I want you to come to our house! I can come pick you up from your dad’s with Ceci once I’m done here:I’ll call you. *kisses*

Finally Joni comes out of the bathroom, towel wrapped around his waist.
“Just going to change my clothes!” He shouts from the bedroom.
“Alright,”

****************


He comes back, walks into the kitchen with me, his hair still wet.


“Would you like some coffee?”
“Why not?” I answer as I sit down and watch as he prepares for it silently.

We sit down to drink the coffee,
“I tried to send a text message to Marko last week, but I think I have his number wrong.” Joni tells me then.
“Marko, why?” I raise my eyebrow is suspicion.
“Well…” He coughs, looks down at his cup. “Pete is kind of… I mean he is a very, very disturbed man, he has some serious issues…he…” Joni takes a sip of his coffee, frown on his face.
“He what?” I ask him.
“He came here a week...no, I mean two weeks ago, with two other guys and he… Well anyway… Just tell Marko to be careful, okay?”
“Okay this is not nice, should I worry? I mean really worry about him?” I ask, already starting to worry.
“Nah… Just tell him to avoid Pete, that’s all.”

That’s when the front door opens.
“Joni babe? Are you home, I have a gift for you.” A man’s voice calls from the hall. I watch as Joni gets up, murmuring quick ‘excuse me’, but before he actually gets out, we both see Vodka at the doorway, holding a big, black…

*******************************

Joni:


Oh great Misha is back, sooner than what I expected and I did not intend for Jesse and him to meet yet. Thinking it would be so weird to have the two of them here at the same time. I quickly mutter an excuse to Jesse, my intention to go and meet my new man in the hall but then Misha makes the situation even more uncomfortable by appearing to the kitchen doorway with…? OH MY GOD!

"Look what I got for you! A present for my little obe-" He stops when spotting Jesse sitting there. I quickly walk to him and lead him out of the room.

"Misha, what the fuck???" I ask him pointing at the black thing in his hand. He looks at me like I’ve gone crazy.
"I wanted to ask the same thing! I come here, bringing you this present and see you with your ex! What is he doing here anyway?"

"Jesse, came here, to pick up his stuff, remember?" I ask him and again take a quick look of that scary thing in his hands, "and what the fuck is that???" Uh, this is soooo not good.


"This?" He smiles mischievously, "This, my little bottom, is a present for you!" He tells me with a smile and kisses my lips quickly. "And I fully intend to use it on you ... later today. Just tell Jesse to get lost and ..." He doesn’t finish his sentence, just looks at me and winks his eye.

I look at the thing with m mouth open, he can’t possibly expect me to just… take that thing… In my ass… can he? It is fucking huge!
"Uh... that is sooo not going in me!" I tell him then. "Jesse?" I call my ex's name, about to turn around. Must make Jesse stay a bit longer.


Vodka:


He looks a bit scared but why would he? It's nothing bigger than me ...well okay it is like a little bigger, but…. He calls for Jesse and it irks me. He wants to fight over that? Oh, the a fight he will get! I catch his wrist before he manages to turn around and whisper in his ear, "You haven't forgotten who is master here, I hope." At the moment Jesse enters the living room and I can't help but remark, hoping to scare Joni's ex, "You will love it inside you." The boy looks at me with his eyes big and then he stared at the VBBD, which is what I have named Joni’s present: the very big, black dildo. Joni is actually blushing a little, he clears his throat.

"Um, I think uh- I should leave? Just take my stuff and er-" The boy speaks out.

"Oh what's the hurry? More coffee?" Joni pulls his wrist free and is about to walk towards the kitchen.
"Joni, I- I think I really should leave Ceci is picking me up soon and-" Jesse says.
"Yes, I think you should, my little bottom is getting impatient," I wink at Jesse who looks more and more panicked and I can't help smirking when he blushes.

"So um, my stuff?" Jesse walks past us, towards the bedroom, and Joni follows him. I just want that small guy out, okay, not that I have anything bad towards Jesse, I’m sure he is a nice guy and all that, but now he’s stepping dangerously close to my property and an ex boyfriend is always an ex boyfriend so no matter how nice they are, you are not supposed to like the ex boyfriends, especially the ones that are so recent.

I wait patiently, watching Jesse taking out the boxes and then leaving the apartment. I look at my little blushing bottom. "Finally we're alone ..." I say suggestively. He flees to the living room and turns the TV on.
"The news is on, interesting." He takes note, trying to look really interested about the… I take a look at the TV screen… some boring stuff about the country’s politics.
“Since when have you been interested in the politics?” I ask him walking closer.
“Since… since always.” He tells me. “Shh… I’m trying to listen here.” I sit next to him, put the VBBD on the coffee table in front of Joni. Then I take the remote control, turn off the TV and lean towards Joni, nibbling at his ear, the one that is closer to me. "Um, come on, I can bet you'll like it, Joni," I murmur into his ear. He takes another look at it.
"Um, so big, I don't know." He mutters, measuring the thing with his eyes.
"What's there to be afraid of?" I encourage him, licking around the shell of his ear. "Just take it and check it yourself."

Joni:

Okay I guess I can like, um touch it? I wonder to myself, and I don't answer anything, just lean forward and touch it carefully.

"You are such a pervert," I retort then, "Does your mother know what a pervert you are?"

"Pervert? Me?" He looks at me innocently. “And even if I am ... What about you? Does your father know you're letting a pervert come to your house? Or does he still believe I am a repairman?"

I glance at him. My father, yes, he didn't believe the repairman thing really, kept asking and asking, so... "He wants to meet you," I tell him then, "but dunno, if I want to take such a pervert to meet my father." I try to hide a smile.

"Oh, I feel offended," He smirks, "Let's check who's the bigger pervert here. I bet I could make you scream and I would do it, using only the present, you know?"

"I'm quite busy now," I tell him, deciding to tease him. So I stand up from the couch wondering what to do. It's fun to tease him, the pervert.
"Busy doing what? Imagining this present being used?" He asks, eyebrows raised, a grin on his face. "Well, you don't have to imagine anything, you can have the real thing here," He adds then.

"I-" Again I look at the thing; he's so eager to... to get inside of me. The dammed pervert has apparently changed me into a pervert too, because I am actually starting to wonder what it would feel like? Would it fit? "Did you have to scare Jesse off like that? Did you have to show him that... that thing?" I point at it.
"Oh, he's a big boy himself, it's nothing he hasn't seen, Joni," He stands up and takes the thing. "And why do you keep calling it 'a thing'? It's a dildo," He smiles, takes my hand and starts walking me towards the bedroom.

I try to pull myself free from his hold, struggling as his hold on me tightens, but it’s just a game really. Game we both know to love. "Keep that dildo away from my ass." I hiss at him stubbornly.

He drags me to the bed, “Lie on your stomach!” He says with a demanding voice.

"I am not your little dog to do what you demand me to," I snap at him. I move on the bed, towards the other side, away from him. I look at Misha then, narrowing my eyes, watching him, trying to calculate his next move
"Hm, well ... I was planning on giving you a massage ..." He tells me with a tempting voice.

A massage? Hm... I wouldn't mind a massage, massages are good, my muscles certainly would need it after work. But... it's the same thing I used back in my time, give massage to Jesse and get my way with him after. Oh but it does sound so tempting. "A massage?" I ask him with slight suspicion.


Vodka:

"Yes, a slow, relaxing massage ... Do you have some king of body oil?" I ask him, hoping he has that stuff. I want him to relax and become more ... willing to what I am planning to do AFTER the massage. He looks at me wondering I decide to offer him a smile.

"Body oil? Yes, of course I have body oil." He says then and reaches to take the bottle from under the bed, he hands it to me. “Here.”

"Ah," I nod my head and smile, taking the bottle from him. "Now, my little obedient bottom, please do strip and lie down on the bed on your stomach," I order half jokingly and go to the kitchen to 'nuke' the oil. I put it into a microwave oven for just a few seconds so that it isn't cold when I will be giving him the massage of his life. Then I come back to the room, asking from the door, "You're ready?"
“What does it look like?” He asks. I look at him, lying on the bed, naked and I can't help but feel excited; he's there, waiting for me and looking incredibly hot ... "Um, looks like you're waiting for that dildo," I joke and I climb onto the bed, straddling his thighs. I open the bottle with a 'pop' and drop some oil in my hand, checking if it's not too hot. I don't want to scald my little bottom. The oil is warm and velvety on my hand, just perfect for the massage. I decide to drip it onto his back in the area of his shoulders; I will start from the top and then slowly go downwards, making him more and more impatient. And then ... oh, yes, I will prove him that he LIKES that dildo.

"I'm waiting for my massage, not that thing, which is not going in there by the way," He tells me, his eyes are close and soon I hear him moan from pleasure.

I slowly slide my hands on his skin, smooth with oil, pressing in all the right points and rubbing over the right muscles. Sometimes I press stronger, when I feel a hard knott under my fingers. "You like it, I hope?" I ask him, in the meantime going a bit lower. I'm massaging now the middle of his back.
"I love it, feels good," He whispers.

I smirk to myself. My plan is working so wonderfully! Without any further ado I continue to massage his back in slow sensual strokes; my hands get closer to his butt but I am trying not to hurry up with it; the last thing I need now is to scare him. I do wonder if he really is afraid of that dildo; it's not the biggest one I could get but it's sizable, I agree. "Joni," I ask him, trying to distract him with a conversation, "why are you afraid of that dildo?"


Joni:

I hear him saying my name and I hear him questioning why I'm afraid. I am quiet for a second, wondering what to say. "Uh, well... it is freaking big and..." Gods I sound like an idiot... "It's not like I'm scared of it..." I don't fear anything, I am fearless.... Um, yeah right... so maybe there are some things that scare me and maybe I am a little bit scared of that dildo, even though it sounds ridiculous. I know most bottoms would be thrilled with that thing, but I’m not like the most.

"I see that you’re afraid," He states, his voice sounds a bit hurt when he continues; "You don't trust me? You know I wouldn't do anything that would seriously hurt you, Joni." His hands stop their movement.

Again I take my time before answering. I don't want him to think that I wouldn't trust him... After what happened, almost happened... I'd be seriously hurt if he hadn't come here that night. That is what scares me; that night scares me and I've noticed that I don't like at all being alone anymore especially here at my apartment. I sigh. "I- I do trust you Misha, I know you wouldn't hurt me intentionally, seriously... so..." I hesitate, but then decide to say what will show him my trust. "... I trust you and so we can play... with the dildo if you like."


Vodka:

I feel my breath hitch but it has nothing to do with the dildo I have bought, nothing at all. In fact, all the enticing visions of Joni writhing on the bed as I use the dildo, fly away from my head. He showed me so much trust that I can't believe it; I can't believe he gave in so easily. I resume the massage, once again my hands slide gently over his skin, finally reaching his buttocks. Misha from several minutes ago would get impatient to finally do what he had been thinking of for the last couple of days but ... somehow I am not that Misha anymore. I suddenly feel something warm, something that I have never felt before ... or maybe that I have been feeling lately but never let myself admit it. "Joni ..." I swallow thickly. "I want to make love to you."



Joni:

I open my eyes in surprise of his words and I lift my head and turn to look at him. Did he just say he wants to... make love to me?... Make love?... and I'm lost for words as I did not expect to hear those words from him, but I nod my head slowly, keeping my eyes on his. Funny feeling inside. He keeps surprising me and he keeps making me notice whole new things in myself as well,
"I want to make love with you as well," I whisper then, swallowing, suddenly feeling like I’m about to sleep with him for the very first time.


Vodka:

I look at him and feel myself smile warmly. For the first time I don't want to dominate him, I just want to be with him and show him that ... somehow he became somebody ... important. More important than someone I would fu- ... and even this word is not correct now, it is not the word I should be using now. I get off from his thighs, allowing him free movement and sit on the bed. "Will you ... kiss me?" I voluntarily give him the opportunity of the first move. And I wait to see what he will do. He sits up slowly. He leans forward, licks his lips and then softly his lips meet with my own. His eyes flicked open, short kisses, careful, trying. I bring my hands in his hair, twirling my fingers in their softness. He moves his hands on the hem of my shirt pulling it up. "Take this off?" He asks and I obediently lift my arms up, to help him to undress me.

Once it is off, he throws it onto the floor somewhere. His lips on my neck, on my shoulder, his hands moving down to open my pants.

Those small kisses are maddening, lighting desire in my body but again, it's something different than I have felt with him previously. When his hand touches my erection, massaging it through the fabric of my pants, I gasp. The sheer intensity of what I am experiencing is scary. In any other situation, with anyone else I would take the control back, I would break the spell ... but now, with him, I let it continue. I lean towards him and brush my lips over his, delicately and almost hesitantly as if this was our first kiss. And it seems it is, I don't know why. After the initial touch of our lips I let my tongue trace along his lower lip, tasting sweetness mixed with something I recognize as Joni's taste. When did I even notice what's his taste is like?



Joni:

I don’t know what it is, but it is a whole new feeling to me. I tremble from want and I feel more now than I’ve ever felt whit anyone, it almost scares me.

How careful the touches are, how gentle, and how captivated I am with his eyes. Wanting to feel, to touch, to taste, to smell. He kisses me, I think it might be the best kiss I've ever shared and this time I don't want to fight him, I want him. Hesitantly I move to sit on his lap, getting close, kissing him. I want to be his and no one else's and I want him to be mine and no one else's, that's the thought on my mind at this moment.

I feel his hands going around me. His left hand on my hip, kissing me, I feel his tongue entering my mouth and how it dances with my own.

I start rocking my hips feeling his hardness and I hold on to him, feeling his body and how warm he is. I nuzzle the side of his neck, landing kisses on his skin. "I want you..." I whisper, nibbling his ear gently. And I really do want him, I never thought that I would say it, but; "I want you inside, I want to feel you inside."


Vodka:

The Misha from an hour ago would smirk triumphantly, hearing those words; they are the ultimate prove of submission but the Misha I am now only feels hotter and suddenly I can't breathe normally. Him nipping at my ears, the rocking motion of his hips ... everything that is him, makes me want him so much. I feel my erection get painful but I discover I am in no hurry. What a funny feeling, to want somebody until it's painful and at the same time be unwilling to do the first step. I think this is called ... I lean back and on my elbows, looking at his beautiful body as he rocks impatiently. I smile once again, I hope encouragingly. "Whatever you want, Joni. Do whatever you want."

I watch as he moves to take the body oil, he helps me out of my pants and I simply let him do what he will. He takes some oil on his hands and massages it on my cock, I throw my head back and moan. When his hands move away I open my eyes to see what he is doing, quickly preparing himself with the oil. He moves then, legs on each side of me. He takes a hold of my cock and lowers himself down slowly, my cock against his opening and he pushes down some more. He lets out small sound of pain, gasping as the head of my cock moves in. He trembles.

"Be careful," I whisper, wanting to just slam up and into him but I would never want to cause him pain, not this time. I want him to enjoy, truly enjoy. He looks at me and nods his head, sliding down all the way, biting his lower lip. He moves a little, finding a better position for himself.

I really have to restrain myself from starting to move; this time it's about him, not me. I want him to do it at his pace and the way he wants. And I realize he hasn't prepared himself sufficiently so it's even more 'no-no' for me. But it is hard now, him feeling so tight around me and me almost going dizzy with the pleasure. "Joooni," I moan into his mouth when he kisses me; his hands on my body clench a little and I don't know if it's from pain he is feeling ... "If I'm hurting you, just tell me." I don't want him to hurt, not now, when everything is so perfect.

"No, I'm alright," he assures with a whisper, "Just need a second to..." He breathes out, smiling softly and I bring my hand to touch his face, still seeing slight pain on his features that I wish I cold just wipe away.


Joni:

After awhile I decide to just I start moving. Slowly getting used to it, to him. The pain leaves me finally and I can start moving a bit faster, trying to find the right rhythm, hoping that I'm doing alright, after all I don't have that much experience with bottoming and this is the first time he’s letting me have the control. "Is this alright?" I ask him, feeling a little out of breath and sounding that way too. "Tell me if I'm doing wrong."

"It's perfect, you're sooo perfect," He throws his head backwards, biting his lower lip from pleasure. I smile, happy with his words and then I place my hands on his chest. "Lay down," I urge him and he does it. I bring my hands on his shoulders, and start moving again. Sweat forming on my skin, I lick my lips and moan, trying to find the best position where he'd hit my prostate better.


Vodka:

I watch him as he moves, as his face fills with pleasure whenever he manages to get me rub over his prostate. I could come from just watching him but that would be a disaster, literally. So I'm making every effort not to.

He looks into my eyes, and then he leans down to kiss me. "You feel good inside me, you pervert." He whispers to me.

"But ..." I find talking difficult; his rocking motion is driving me crazy and yet I still try to restrain myself, "...your pervert, aren't I?"
"Yes, my pervert." He kisses my neck and I smile at his words. After that I find his lips on mine again and that kiss is the last straw; I had had an iron grip over my body but now it starts to move. My hips shift upwards and I gasp straight into his mouth. Uh, have to be more careful here ... yet my hips defy my control once more and they rise to meet Joni's and after a few seconds I am unable to control their movement. I feel as if I wanted to be one with him, as if no matter how close we are to each other, we're not close enough. At the same time I feel the burning in my lower stomach grow, become persistent and ... I want it to last, I want to be with him, but my body, the cool, controlled body comes closer to the climax with every moment. I don't want to leave him behind; I reach with my hand to his erection, giving it a firm stroke.


He gasps. “Misha,” he moans out, “Oh god, oh god…” His body tenses and he cums then.

The suddenness of Joni's climax catches me by surprise and I tense all over my body, climaxing myself, biting my lips until they bleed because all I want to do is to shout that I love him. For a long moment I feel him and myself tremble from the intense pleasure, I feel his fingers clamp over my shoulders. I am not sure what finally brings me back from my Joni induced high. And I remember what I wanted to shout. I love him? No, that can't be, we know each other for far too short! People just don't fall in love that fast, it only happens in fairy tales, right? Or do they? Can they?? Just follow the heart, Misha. "Joni ..." I whisper to him, "Would you be ... terribly angry if I told you something?"

Joni, who lies on top of me, opens his eyes to look at me
"Why would I be angry?" he asks in confusion. "Tell away, anything," He whispers then.
"It may sound stupid so don't start shouting at me ..." I mutter nervously.

Joni:

I raise my eyebrow, wondering why he's so nervous, I didn't know he could ever get nervous. "I won't shout at you..." I start unsure, "I promise," I add then, hoping it's not anything bad.

Vodka:

"God, I hope I will not make you mad ... because I have never said that to anyone so I kind of lack practice ..." I try to explain and not to stutter at the same time. I hate it when I do something for the first time; it always makes me feel like a virgin, somehow. "I was thinking about ... us and ... I think ..."

"Go on," He encourages me.

"If you don't feel the same I will totally understand ..." I try to be a step ahead of Joni if he says I'm stupid or that he really doesn't ... Even thinking about it now hurts. Funny ...
"Um, what I want to say ..." I don't even look at him anymore, I look away, not wanting to see his eyes if he would feel different. And he probably feels different, after all this stuff I have pulled on him ... "I think I am ... in love with you. There, I said it," I flinch. Ugh, it sounded terrible!

Joni:

He’s so adorable like this, he is HUMAN, wow, he is just as vulnerable as the rest of us. I smile as I look at him and then… I wake from my thoughts, huh? Did he just tell me that…? He loves me? As in loves me?
“Oh,” I breathe out, “Thank you,” I stutter then. He lifts his hand to his face.
“Man I feel stupid now,” he hits his head, and keeps his hand to cover his eyes and only then does it truly hit me what just happened, truly hit me what he told me and how much it took for him to tell me that. Oh God and what did I just tell him? Thank you?? A fucking thank you? I think, it might be one of the worst answers that one could give to ones partner when they confess their love to you. Oh man I am the idiot here. Suddenly the right answer comes to me as clear as the day.

"Look at me," I whisper, taking his hand away from his face. "I think... I think I love you too, you silly pervert," I know it's fast but... It feels right.

"You ... you do?" He asks. "Can you repeat that?"

"Um, I love you," I whisper, kiss his neck, laying there with him, feeling warm and safe here, by his side. "I think I must take you to meet my dad now, if you'd like to come? I mean not now but um in the coming days,"

Vodka:

I smile more wildly than I’ve ever smiled before, I think I’ve never felt as happy as I do now.

"I'd like that," I nod my head, reaching with my arm and bringing him closer to me. I feel him breathe, I feel he is still slick from sweat and that oil and I would never exchange this moment for anything in the world. "And I do hope you'll introduce me properly this time. We can't pretend that I am a repairman any longer," I chuckle. Of course, his father must know that but I want to tease my litt- no. Wrong. I want to tease JONI.

Joni:

"I suppose not, I'll introduce you properly Misha, as my boyfriend." I tell him, deciding that I just want to stay there and enjoy the moment with him, the calm and insanely happy feeling inside. "I could stay in bed like this the whole evening and night.” I could stay beside him forever, I keep smiling, happy and calm, relaxed.
"Well, we can, I don't have to go anywhere, and probably neither do you," he murmurs sleepily.

"No, can't remember that I would..." I whisper back, yawning and closing my eyes. "Maybe later we have time for that present you got me," I grin with my eyes closed. Well he was, after all, so excited about it, so how could I deny him his fun?
 

Chapter 24.

Marko:


When I get home, I meet a peculiar sight; my father sitting in the kitchen having a cup of coffee with Pete.
“Marko!” Pete smiles when seeing me and stands up. I place my bag on the floor looking back and forth between the two. Then the table: two coffee cups, a bottle of brandy; already opened.
“Pete,” I say slowly. “What… Why…?”
“Why am I here?” He smiles, I nod my head. “I came to talk with you in person, and to meet your father to ask him…” He looks towards him.
“This man wants you to move back to his house and I think you should.” My father says and takes a sip of the brandy; drinking his glass empty, only to refill it again.
“I can’t, I only came to collect some clothes, I won’t be staying for the night.” My dad couldn’t care less, the only thing he cares about right now, is the glass of brandy in his hands.

“Marko, I wish we could talk.” Pete tells me then. I turn and walk towards my room hearing him follow.
“There is nothing to talk about Pete,” I answer to him, not looking at him, I know he’s there. “I’m not coming back, I’m happy now, I- “
“Happy here? Living like this?” I take my clothes from my closet and pack them.
“No. I’m happy with my new life, with my new boyfriend and with my new job.”
“But what could he give you? I can take you to the places that you’ve only dreamt of; Paris, Rome, London, New York…” Pete stands behind me, his hands on my shoulders, whispering to my ear. “…expensive hotels, restaurants, clothes, anything you can ever ask for. I know you Marko, deep down you know it; you want the life that only I can offer you.” I sigh and step away from him, then I turn around to face him.
“I don’t love you Pete. I want to make my own life, my own happiness, I want… I want to go to Stockholm with Jesse, I’d rather go there than to Paris or any of the cities you mentioned. I’d rather stay with him and his relatives than in all those fancy hotels with you.” I know I sound harsh, but I need this message to go through to him; I am not going back to him.
“Jesse as in Joni’s Jesse?” Pete raises his eyebrow.
“Jesse as in my new boyfriend Jesse, Joni’s ex, yes.” And then Pete starts to laugh.
“Jesse and you. Never thought that Jesse would go with the likes of you, Marko.” He smirks at me.
“I think you should leave,” I tell him, pointing towards the door. He steps closer to me.
“You and Joni…” He whispers, eyeing me. “… are but cheating whores.”
“Says a man who just minute ago was begging me; the whore, to come back to him.” I hiss at him. Anger flashes in his eyes, I see how he’s squeezing his hands into fists, I back out slightly.

“I want you to leave Pete. I won’t be coming back; ever. I was never happy, not with you.”
He smiles oddly at me.
“You think he won’t see through you? You think he can love you? You think he can forget about what you and Joni did?” He asks me. “Do you honestly think that he can forget? Let me tell you Marko; he won’t, I won’t. I won’t forget, you were mine Marko and I won’t forget who took you.” He turns and walks to the door, when he reaches it he turns once more. “You’ll come crawling back to me when Jesse has had enough of you.”


He leaves and I hear the front door slamming shut after him.


Jesse:

Cecilia stays and waits in the car while I go and get Marko. As I walk up the stairs, I suddenly see Pete hurrying down. I stop and stare at him, Joni’s words repeating in my mind. Then Pete sees me, he slows down, looks at me.
“Darling,” he smirks. I just blink my eyes at him. He looks back; to the direction where he came from, then back at me. “He’s a slut, Jesse. You could do so much better than Marko. Smart, good looking boy that you are.” He continues, coming closer, I back out until my back hits the railing. I never did like Pete, he’s weird and obnoxious, a horrible man to be with. Now I like him even less.
“He’s not a slut and I advise you not to use that word of him again.” I hiss at him, bringing my chin up. He stares at me and laughs.
“I do like you, Jesse. You are nothing like the most, such a sweet boy, honest and…” He tilts his head to the side. “You could do better.” Then he takes his wallet and hands me a business card, in my stunned state I take it. “When you see Marko for what he is, give me a call.” He winks at me and I look at the card in my hands with his name and number in it. I tear it in half and throw the pieces away.
“I see you for what you are, Pete, and it ain’t pretty. Leave Marko alone, don’t come near him.”
Again he laughs.
“You really are something, Jesse,” he shakes his head and walks away. “The offer still stands though!” He shouts before stepping out. I shudder with disgust. There would be a cold day in hell before I’d accept an offer from a man like him.

I continue my walk upstairs and ring the doorbell. Marko opens for me.
“Are you ok? What did Pete want? Did he touch you?” I drown him with questions before he even has the time to say hello.
“I’m fine, Jesse.” He smiles, letting me in. “He just, well basically he begged me to come back to him and when I said that I wouldn’t, he said I’m a cheating whore like Joni.” Marko explains, shaking his head.
“He’s weird, Marko, I don’t want you to see him anymore.” I tell him, following him into his room.
“Don’t worry, I have no intention and I didn’t invite him here, he just came, brought my dad a bottle of brandy; it’s the only thing my dad needs to think of someone as his new best friend.” Marko takes his bag from the bed and turns to me. “I’m ready, let’s go?” He smiles. I nod my head.

“Bye dad! See you when I see you!” He shouts from the door before we head back to the car.

**^^**^^**^^**^^**

“So I was wondering, would you like to come with me tomorrow; to see my grandmother? She’s like the only relative that actually cares for me. She tends to forget things, but…” Marko asks as we are lying on my bed that night.
“Sure, of course, I’d love to meet her.” And Marko smiles so happily that it would melt anyone's heart. He leans over to kiss me, slowly moving to lie on top of me. I wrap my arms around him, one going to his hair, the other moves on his butt.
He moves his head up and we just stare in each others eyes, his hand touches my cheek softly, stroking my hair away from my face.
“You are so beautiful Jesse,” he whispers and kisses me on the lips so softly, so gently. “I don’t know how I manage when you leave to the army. I’ll cry myself to sleep every night. I will, I sure will.”
“Silly, we still have almost 6 months before I go, and besides, it’s not like I go far away from you, we can see each other when I have an evening off, and most of the weekends, and it is less than a year. You’ll do fine.”
“I hate the army, I hate war and I hate guns, if I didn’t hate those things so much I’d try to get to the same place where you’d be and then… then we could have naughty army sex.” Marko giggles. “Promise me we can have hot army sex with you wearing your uniform.” I chuckle under him.
“Alright, I promise Marko.”
“And can we have nice naughty sex now?” He asks me, rocking his pelvis against me, to his question I answer with a hungry kiss. He moves my shirt up, I help to take it off completely and then watch as he sits up, to remove his own. Golden cross glimmers against his bare chest and I bring my hand to touch it, I always thought it was a beautiful cross.

“It’s quite old,” Marko whispers, “it belonged to my big uncle, you remember the one who got killed in war time when he was very young? He gave it to his sister, my grandmother and she gave it to me after my mom left.” He continues and leans over again to kiss me.
“It’s pretty,” I tell him.
“I like it too, I like wearing it. Made in a time when… oh never mind, let’s just have sex…” Another kiss, I moan in his mouth, moving my hands between our bodies to open his pants. Marko sits up again to undress mine, pulling them off completely with my boxers.
“You’re eager,” I chuckle to this fast movement and watch as he stands up to undress himself.
“Do you mind?” He grins. I shake my head, bring my hand to touch my already hard cock, giving it few strokes.
“Not at all,” I tell him then.
“Lube?” He asks.
“Oh yeah, check the wardrobe, behind the underwear.” He looks at me with a grin.
“Couldn’t find any place farther from the bed?”
“Maybe I planned it, so I can watch your naked ass when you get it,” I grin back. Marko shakes his hips seductively and looks at me from over his shoulder, grin on his lips. Then he walks over to the wardrobe to get it.
“You know Jesse, if you were trying to hide it from your mom, I have a pretty good suspicion that she wouldn’t be too shocked to find a bottle of lube from her gay son’s room.” He chuckles. Damn, he caught me. I just like the idea of my mom completely unaware that I am a sexual being, yeah, yeah I know she knows, but oh well…

“Tonight Jesse…” Marko starts then, walking towards me. “… what I want, is to touch you.” He tells me, sitting on the edge of the bed, running his hand down on my chest to my stomach slowly towards my groin. Light strokes on my swollen member, until the hand travels even farther down, a soft touch of a finger on my opening; cold and I shiver. I look into his eyes and see him smiling down. He circles the finger slowly on the sensitive flesh, almost pushing in, but not quite.
“I’ve never done this Jesse, but I’ve been wanting it since the first time I saw you, I wanted you every way possible and I’ve had you in every other way but this. Can I? If you don’t want it, tell me, and I will not push it further.”

“I do want it, I want it so bad it hurts.” I whisper hoarsely. Marko takes the lube, squeezes some on his palm and rubs it between his hands to warm it. He leans over to kiss me again, and bring my knees up and spread my legs to give him better accesses. I feel his finger going inside and soon a second joins the first. My body trembles from anticipation and soon I just find myself asking him to do it already, wanting to feel him inside so bad.

And so Marko moves to lay between my spreaded thighs, he kisses my lips, guiding himself against me and slowly, tenderly. I feel his cock moving inside me. I gasp when he starts moving, slowly, so slowly.
“Oh fuck, feels so good.” I whisper, wanting to shout but stopping myself when remembering where we are and who might hear.
“It does, it feels incredible Jesse…” Marko lays his forehead down on mine, his eyes close, lips open, breathing heavily.
“Harder,” I ask him and soon enough he fills my request and we look deep in each other’s eyes, so close, so close, moving together, so perfect, it was never this perfect with Joni and I smile, kiss him, keeping my eyes open, watching him; he’s so beautiful, so beautiful. I feel the muscles on his back, grasp his hair; so soft. Then my hands move to his butt, urging him to go deeper, as deep as he can go. His eyes are green now, green as the leaves in the forest.
“I love you,” I whisper to him and he smiles, I love it when he smiles I love the smile on his face now, so sincere, so true.
“I love you too Jesse.” He tells me, moving in me, he throws his head back; so beautiful.

And later we’re lying in each others arms in the darkness of my room, naked, relaxed. I feel so content there, with him and still it amazes me how fast things can change. It was so weird seeing Joni, especially after his boyfriend came over with that thing, but I know Joni is happy with him. He has changed, too, today he was so… relaxed? Happy? Different at least, different in a good way, like the wall he usually kept around others; the coldness of him has started to crumble. When I was with him, he could be warm and cuddly when we were alone, but with others… hm… he could be a major dick if he wanted. Now I saw none of that in him, which can only mean that Misha is good for him, that Misha is the one for him? Thinking about it only makes me happier, things can really work for the best, things tend to work out in the end. The only thing still left for me to solve is my friendship with Kim, somehow I need to fix it, I want to fix it.

Marko:

I’m in heaven, yes I am. Jesse by my side, my arm around him, I keep my eyes closed but at times I just need to check that it’s really him, that I am not just dreaming. And the sex… it was sooo perfect, well sex with Jesse has been perfect either way. Jesse is perfect, I love him to bits and I can’t wait to introduce him to grandma, she will love him to bits, too. I just hope that this time when I go see her she’ll actually remember who I am and doesn’t think that we’re living in the 40’s and that I am her brother, because that is just weird when it happens.

The only thing that worries me is Pete and what he said. With my luck, I can expect more trouble from him, I am certain that my family is cursed, it has to be it; men in our family are cursed. But on the other hand, I have Jesse now and… Well, having Jesse is the best thing ever so maybe it means that the curse is over. Maybe I already had my share of it in the past.

I snuggle closer to Jesse and kiss his shoulder. I feel so happy and safe here, please let me keep this happiness.

Chapter 25.

Joni:



Seems that Pete hasn’t given up that easily, it is the only explanation as to why I keep getting calls from anonymous number, why every time I make the mistake to answer; there is only heavy breathing to be heard from the other side. At first I thought it was some lame ass joke from one of my friends, it wouldn’t have been the first time that they would have tried to pull something like that, unfortunately I soon found out that it wasn’t just a game.

After like three such breathing calls I decided to start playing along to this joke, or what I really thought as such. So I asked who was this secret admirer of mine and if he was getting hard listening to my voice. A man’s voice asked in return what I was wearing and I told him; ‘whatever you want me to wear, baby’. That was when it just got too weird, the hoarse voice telling me he’d like me naked, blindfolded and tied and that he’d like to spank me hard before he would … I laughed somewhat nervously and asked who it really was. The man was quiet for a while and then answered;
‘I want to fuck you raw.’ The voice sent chills down my spine, and not the good kind, so I quickly hung up. If only it had stopped there, but it didn’t.

I almost jump now every time my phone rings and I hate it. It is just a phone, it can’t hurt me and I am sure that it’s just Pete wanting to mess with me; again he has just gotten someone else for his dirty work.

I never thought that sleeping with Marko could get me into this kind of trouble; I never thought that Pete could be… That he would lose it like this. This is what they all warned me about and I never believed them before. What did I do? I simply laughed at these warnings! And I was sure Misha had scared him away for good…

And I don’t like admitting weakness, I don’t want to admit my worry and I don’t want to go ask for help. I am a grown man, for goodness sake; I’ve been able to take care of myself for as long as I can remember.

So I keep quiet, telling myself that whatever it is, this time, I can take care of it myself. I decide to not say a word about these weird phone calls to Misha. I don’t want to feel like a weak woman in this relationship, I am a man, I do not need his shelter, his protection.

I act like nothing is wrong and I hope he won’t see how nervous I am every time that my phone rings, I hide it, at least I try my best.

**^^**^^**^^**^^**

Vodka:

The weekend, when we’re supposed to meet with Joni’s family, arrives. It’s not often that I’ve gone to meet the parents, but then again it’s not often, if ever, that I’ve felt for someone like I feel for Joni. I want to be at my best and I want to have his father’s approval. I take extra care in choosing my clothes and fixing my hair. It is important to me, to have his father to like me as it seems that he has a close relationship with his son.


Joni parks the car in front of a big white two-storey house. He’s been a lot quieter than usually and it makes me wonder if something is bothering him. When I ask, though, the only reply that I get is that he’s tired.


“We’re here!” Joni informs when we get in and soon enough his father appears from around the corner. This time I pay more attention to what the man actually looks like. He’s tall, fit man who's been treated kindly by the time. He has friendly blue eyes and sand colored hair.

“Well, we meet again.” The man says with a friendly grin, looking at me and then at his son. “Maybe a proper introduction is in order, don’t you think?” He asks then holding out his hand to me
“I’m Asko.” I smile and shake his hand.
“Misha Volochov, nice to meet you, sir.”
“Oh, we do not use such formalities here, just call me Asko.” He smiles. “Come, let’s sit in the kitchen and have some coffee?” I thank the man and follow his lead. Joni’s close beside me.

“My wife will join us later; she’s taken the kids out shopping.” Asko tells us.

“So Misha, tell me a little bit about yourself?” Asko asks after we sit down in front of the table, I straighten up on my chair.
“Well I am 27 and I work in a small computer firm.”
“So you aren’t a repairman then?” he asks with an amused tone of voice, glancing towards Joni, who stares down in his coffee mug. I can’t help but to chuckle a little.
“No sir, I am not, but I can be handy if needed.” I grin and only the realise that again I called him sir; old habits die hard.
“Well that’s good to know,” he smiles. “How long have you lived here?”
“I moved here when I was 20,”
“Had you studied this language before?”
“No I hadn't, took me awhile to learn but…”
“Well I must say you’ve done an excellent job learning it.”
“Thank you.”
“And your family, how are they like?”
“I have an older brother who’s 31 and a younger brother who’s 25. They live in a small town near Moscow, like my mother. My father passed away years ago.”
“Do you visit them often?” He asks then and I smile to him.
“I try to visit them at least twice a year, my brothers have visited me here a couple of times, my mother has weak legs and doesn’t like to travel. I plan to visit them soon again; perhaps I can convince your son to join me.” I look at Joni then, who’s been oddly quiet. He stirs his spoon in his coffee cup, frown on his face like lost in deep thought. “Joni?” I ask him, he snaps his head up.
“What?”
“Have you been listening?”
“Yeah, it’s great.” I give him an odd look, then I look at his father and see him looking at his son with a worried expression.
“Are you feeling okay son?”
“Couldn’t be better.” He smiles to the both of us. I wish I knew what is making him this way.

Joni:

It’s too soon that Katja; my stepmother and my siblings return from their shopping trip. The twins run to the back yard, shouting and screaming and making my head hurt. Katja greets me and Misha in her usual cold manner and a fake smile. Sini, my sister runs to me and starts bugging me if I finally remembered to bring her her birthday gift; it’s almost two months late, shame on me.

“Bring my bag to me, it’s in the hall.” I tell her and watch as she runs over to get it. She soon returns with it, giving the bag to me and staying close. I watch her as she is chewing on her lip, waiting eagerly. I take out the gift I got for her. “Happy late 8th birthday, Sini.” She sits on the floor to open it and hugs the box that is revealed from under the wrapping; I got her the mermaid Barbie that she’s been dying to have. She jumps out then and hugs me tightly.
“Thank you, thank you, thank you!” She’s smiling happily and I can’t help but to smile when watching. She’s a sweet girl who gets excited easily.

“Who are you?” She asks from Misha, who comes to sit by my side on the couch. She looks at him, her head tilted to the side.
“I’m your brother’s boyfriend.”
“But he has a boyfriend!” She shouts with serious face. “Jesse!… Where is Jesse? I like Jesse, he plays with me.” She looks at me then with a frown. I glance nervously at Misha, then at her.
“Now remember when I told you that we had broken up with Jesse. I’m with Misha now.” Then I lean closer to her. “You know, I bet, if you ask him really nicely… really, really nicely … he could take you to piggy back ride out to the yard.” She glances at Misha, looking at him hesitantly, then she hides her face against my shoulder. “Go on, you can ask him.” I try to encourage her, she shakes her head. Sini is kind of shy and I guess a man of Misha’s size can be a little intimidating for a small girl like her. “Do you want me to ask him?” She looks up to me, then at Misha, then back at me and finally she nods her head.
“Misha would you mind playing with my sister? She’d like it if you’d carry her, you could play a horse for this lovely princes.” I grin at him, Misha chuckles, then stands up.
“Sure thing, anything for a princess.” I help Sini on his back and still she looks at me a bit nervously, as if begging me with her eyes for me to stay close. I follow them out in the back yard.

Soon enough Sini begins to relax. She laughs as Misha runs with her, playing the horse part amazingly well and I laugh when watching them, for a moment it makes me forget my worries.

Even my brothers become curious about Misha, and soon they are playing a war game, trying to shoot him with water guns. Misha plays along with them and finally the boys place their precious water guns down and drown him with questions. Dad is grilling food, Katja sits on the porch drinking a glass of wine. The evenings are getting rather chilly, as close to the autumn as we are.

I sit near my step mom with a beer can in my hands, watching my family and Misha and how well he seems to fit in.
“So Joni, how are things?” I hear her suddenly asking and glance towards her.
“Great, things are going great,” I tell her. She looks at me with curiosity.
“This one seems different from those you’ve usually brought here.” She says looking towards Misha. I look at her inquisitively, she sees it and smiles.
“This one is bigger and older than you, Joni. I thought you preferred them small.” I’m about to open my mouth, but she continues. “He seems very nice.” She says then and this time her smile seems sincere. I am still suspicious about that, she’s not usually very friendly with me.

Then my phone starts to ring in my pocket, I almost jump and reach out to take it in my hands. I stare at the screen; again no number …suddenly I feel sick.
“Aren’t you going to answer?” Katja asks. I press the red button and shove the phone back into my pocket.
“No, it didn’t show any number and I don’t like to answer such calls, I bet they just try to sell me something.” She nods her head slowly, quietness follows, but I still feel her eyes on me.

After dinner, my father keeps offering drinks to Misha and me, but I don’t feel like drinking, so it’s much slower than theirs. My father laughs with him, telling stories and listening to his. He never got along with Jesse like this and I really am beginning to feel like the woman here. I watch TV, hearing them raising their glasses, and then my father thinks it’s time to go to the sauna, both of them a bit tipsy. Misha comes over to me and gives me a wet kiss. With Katja and my father in the room it feels weird, but I guess it’s just something to grow used to.

I go to the sauna with them, which again feels weird, having both my dad and boyfriend undressing naked. But it seems that I’m the only one feeling weird about it, or then I just haven’t drunk enough. They are both chatting happily, drinking beer and… really it’s like they are completely oblivious to the fact that we are all naked. I don’t know why it feels so weird to me. But uh like… Misha is seeing my father naked! That’s… disturbing somehow… Though he isn’t looking or anything and… Really I should drink more and think less. Then Misha’s hand comes resting on my thigh and I quickly slap it away; not proper. No naked touching here, it’s a sacred place… uh yeah, riiight…

Finally I excuse myself and go take a shower. I leave them there by themselves, go out in the chilly evening to have a smoke. I haven’t smoked in months but now I really feel like I could use one. I sit at the porch watching the beautiful sunset, wind blowing in my hair.

The backdoor creaks open and Sini steps out in her night gown.
“You should get back inside, it’s cold here.” I tell her.
“Smoking is bad for you,” she tells me and I nod my head and put the cigarette away. She climbs on my lap and I shelter her with my coat, wrapping my arms around her, feeling as her head comes resting against my chest.
“Joni?” She asks me.
“Hm?”
“What are you thinking?” I feel her fingers on the fabric of my shirt.
“Just stuff, grown up stuff, all the boring things that you are still lucky to miss.”
“I like Misha.”
“I’m glad to hear, I like him too.”
“A lot?”
“Yes, I like him a lot, love him a lot.”
“Then I think it’s good.” I laugh quietly.
“So you approve of us then?”
“I do.”

We stay silent and watch the sky together. I make a promise to myself to be a better brother to her from now on, so that I would deserve her love.
“Come on then princess, I think it’s well past you bedtime.”
“Carry me?” She asks me, looking at me with her bright green eyes.
“Alright, princess.”

I carry her up to her room. Cover her up and kiss her forehead wishing her goodnight.

Then I get back downstairs to the living room just to see that my dad and Misha have returned from the sauna.

“I’m feeling quite tired, I think I’ll go to bed, I hope you don’t mind terribly.” I tell them. Everyone else has gone to bed already.
“Hard day at work?” My father inquiries,
“It was, yes, there were a couple of shoplifters,” He nods his head. “Go to sleep son,” He smiles then.

I walk over to Misha and give him a brief kiss on his cheek.
“Good night,”
“Night, sleep well.”
“Night dad!”
“Good night.”

I step into my room, again another weird message and I get frustrated and scared. I know who’s behind this, I know it; it can’t be anyone else but him. I take my phone and choose Pete’s number.
“Hello Joni,” he answers with a calm voice almost as if he would have been expecting my call.
“What the fuck do you want, Pete? Can’t you just let it go??”
“I’m afraid I can’t Joni.”
“Why?? Why can’t you? Marko does not want you, he is happy without you, now leave him and me be!”
”Joni…” He starts and I feel myself beginning to tremble. ”You took what belongs to me and now you have to pay the price.”

“What do you want?”

“You know what I want… One weekend, you will come to my house and do exactly what I want. Only one weekend and after that everything is forgotten and paid for.

“You’re crazy if you think I will agree to that! Grazy!” I hiss at him.

”Joni, listen,” he warns me. ”I know some things, how much do you care about your boyfriend? Misha, real name Mikhail Volochov. How mush do you know of him? Did you know that Mikhail is searched criminal in his country?” Pete asks and for a moment I feel frozen, I can not answer. ”Well, I did some research with my connections,” He continues. “Some fishy dealings and he’s also been a member of a criminal leaque when he was younger. If you do not agree to my terms, Joni, I swear that your darling boyfriend will never work in this country again, that he will be send back to Russia where he will be arested; I would make sure of that. Also if you agree I promise that no accident will fall on you or Marko.”

“You are lying about Misha!” It can’t be true, it sounds so crazy!

“Am I Joni?” He asks calmly. ”Do you want to take the risk?” Suddenly I remember how Misha was threatening me with his ‘friends’ that first morning, how he had gotten the key to my apartment and… gods, Pete really might know more than I? “Two weeks Joni. I give you two weeks to decide, you know what refusal means for you and your boyfriend.” And with that he ends the call. What the hell am I suppose to do now??

**^^**^^**

Vodka:

I watch as he walks away and take a sip of my beer.
“I wonder if there’s something that bothers him, he’s not been like himself today.” Joni’s father says thoughtfully.
“I’ve noticed the same thing.”
“I’ve been worried about him; I worry about him more than my other children. He’s so…“ He takes a pause before continuing. “I’m afraid I have spoiled him…” He admits then. “He takes after his mother you know… Mariana, she…” He sighs and looks at the picture on the wall, smiling sadly.
“That’s her?” I ask looking at the picture and realising that it must be, so similar to my Joni.
“Yes,”
“She’s very beautiful.”
“She was, that she truly was,” He smiles again, still looking longingly towards the photograph. “She was something else… I was a young man when I met her, younger than what Joni is now. I grew up in a small town in north and then moved here. I went to one club one night, saw her there; she was a dancer, a beautiful creature with hair as black as the night itself. I don’t know how she noticed me, but she did. And when I first went out with her I thought she was out her mind a bit.” He laughs at the memory, soft, sorrowful laughter. “I was a shy boy, she was… she was a woman filled with life and joy… She was crazy, beautiful and... loving… I loved her, I still do.”
“How did she die?” I ask carefully.
“Cancer, it took her fast.”
“I’m sorry,” He just nods.
“Well, Joni is very dear to me, you see, I do not want to see him hurt and…” he looks at me then. “Are you serious with your relationship with him?”
“I am… I love him, I’m very serious with him.” I admit with the courage that the alcohol has given me.
“Then... Then I’m happy. I always thought that what he needed was a man like you instead of those boys he used to date… That he needed someone who could keep him still and stop him from running around like…” he chuckles. “That boy, he… when he was still in high school he wanted to move… to New York I think, someone had told him to try modelling, I talked him out of it. Said whoever this person was, is not to be trusted and if he wanted he could try the modelling thing here where it’s safer. He did. At 16, he was offered a chance to go to Paris for modelling, he needed my approval and I forbade it. He was so angry with me, said I ruined his chances, his whole life and that he would never speak to me again. Then after some time he could see that it didn’t work so he was the sweetest boy ever and when that didn’t work either and the chance for Paris was gone, he gave me hell for a few months. I was afraid to let him go at such a young age, he was even more impulsive then and lord knows what he would have gotten himself into had I let him go… Oh well, he still does some small gigs, but… well, then he’s wanted to be an actor, he’s wanted to move to London, take a trip around the world and to try out so many different things that it’s hard to even keep up with them. And now he’s a guard, talked about going to a police academy once, but when I last talked with him, he said he wanted to quit being a guard. I hope… I hope he soon figures out what he wants to do with his life… Maybe you can help him with it.”
“Maybe…I will watch out for him, I can promise that much.”
“I will rest at nights easier knowing that… knowing that he won’t spend his nights running in different clubs and different… dates… Raising him would have been easier had his mother been around.” He sighs.
“You’ve done a good job I think. He’s very amiable once he lets you close enough. Just have to get past that wall and I think I have.”
“You’re a good man Misha, welcome to the family.” He slaps my back and smiles.

**^^**^^**^^**^^**^^^**

Joni:

My work day was a day from hell or so it seemed. I had trouble concentrating, my mind is occupied with the worry that the strange phone calls give me, and they keep coming. I had received 5 missed calls and a few messages which I deleted before even reading them. I guess it would have been good to safe them, but I just… I don’t want to… Pete is really pressuring the decision and I only have a week left to decide: I feel sick even thinking of being Pete’s fuck toy and on the other hand I don’t want any troubles for Misha. Criminal or not I love that perverse! And isn’t it in his past now?

 Dad asked me and Misha earlier, to come and watch the house for a week while they’re on a holiday somewhere up north. Of course we agreed.

So I meet Misha at the end of my shift. We have to get some clothes for me from my place, pack some other stuff as well and go to my childhood house from there.

The journey home is a silent one and I can feel his constant, curious eyes one me, I can feel the questions of worry that he wants to ask. But I don’t have the energy to answer, don’t even know what I should answer.

We get home and I walk towards the bedroom without a word.

Vodka:

He hurries to the bedroom and he has hardly spoken one word to me. He’s been so silent, so not Joni-like, not my Joni anyway. My Joni is bold and loud and ... he just worries me.
"Joni?" I follow him there and ask, "What's going on? You're not you."
I can see him tensing, his back turned towards me.
"Nothing’s going on! God, I'm sick and tired of answering to that same question!" He snaps then packing his clothes almost in fury.
"I can see it's something!" I growl at him, unpleasantly surprised with his angry voice. "Will you tell me, dammit?! I think I deserve to know what's happening to my boyfriend?"
"It is nothing Misha, I am fine, just because I-..." He glances at me. "I'm just freaking tired and that is all, so just drop it, will you?" And it’s so clear that he’s feeling upset about something, the way he’s breathing; fast, tense, soon he walks past me towards the bathroom and I follow.

"Joni ..." I start, seeing his troubled face but then a thought hits me and I feel a sudden fear, greater than ever before. Is he ... does he want to ... leave me? Maybe he has enough of me already? "Joni?" I repeat, softer than previously, "I want you to tell me, no matter what it is." God, don't let it be THIS, please.

He looks at me briefly.
"Just drop it Misha, I said I was fine, why the hell can't you understand that?!" He walks back to the bedroom with his toothbrush and deodorant, packing them with his clothes. “Don’t you realise how annoying it is? Really Vodka, try to understand, do try to listen when I say I'm fine!" The sound of his voice is so hurtful to me, the way he looks at me.
"Why can't I understand? Because I see you're NOT fine!" I shout at him, my chest constricting. He hasn't been calling me Vodka ... for a long time now. It IS my nickname but now, in his mouth, it has a derogatory meaning. "Joni, I'm asking you one last time ... what's going on?"

He closes his eyes, taking one deep breath, “And one last time; nothing.” He hisses. "If I bother you, if my acting bothers you, if you can't believe then just go! Go find someone easy, because I just can't be that way!… Maybe we should rethink this relationship."

God, my heart stops for a moment, then I feel anger surge within me, Joni's words hurt me so much that I forget to be a considerate boyfriend, I want him to be hurt as much as he hurt me. "Maybe I should! And don't tell me you're not easy! You're the easiest of all!" I shout and storm out of his house, hoping to get out quickly enough to hide my real feelings, and the fact that I just want to cry. Vodka crying over a cheating bottom? That's ... no, I will not cry over him, I will not. I quickly want to get to my own home, and drink myself blind, drink myself unconscious, until I forget the pain.

Joni:

The door slams shut and for a moment I have difficulty breathing; he left. Misha left me. I feel nauseous, I feel like throwing up and I tremble. Come back, come back… I sit down on my bed, for a moment feeling so helpless and hurt, troubled with my thoughts, alone with them.

His words echoing inside my mind; ‘You're the easiest of all.’ These words are the ones to stop me from running after him. I have my pride and I do not want to admit the truth in his words... and yet, he was the one to change me! He doesn't know it, but...

On the other hand, he’s a criminal, that’s what Pete said, right?

The pain inside; it's never been this horrible, the lump in my throat... I thought it hurt when Jesse left, but no, it was nothing like the pain I feel now. I am about to cry, for real but I swallow it up and continue what I was doing trying so damn hard not to fall into pieces. I feel sick of myself suddenly, of everything I am and what I was, all the mistakes I’ve done, all the people I’ve hurt. I am a no good, selfish, vain, pitiful creature and I just drove the one person away that could have saved me from myself.

I don’t want to think. I swallow up the hurt and stand up, take my bag, my car keys, the cursed phone and my wallet and leave my apartment.

**^^**^^**^^**

The sky is grey, smells like it’s about to rain, small signs of sunlight still trying to peak out from behind the clouds,but soon the sun has to give up.. I park my car on the driveway and walk to the house. It’s so quiet, so empty. Misha could have been here beside me now, but… He must hate me now, he thinks I am this easy slut, who sleeps with anyone. But he changed me… I’m not that person anymore.

I walk into my old room and change into something more comfortable; sweatpants and t-shirt, perfect clothing for some wallowing in self pity. I walk downstairs, go to the fridge and take a beer, the living room, TV on; there’s some football game, perfect. But I can’t concentrate and the beer doesn’t want to go down.

I find myself studying the old picture of my mother in the far wall. Looking at her smiling, beautiful face makes me feel even sadder. I wish she was here, I wish I would have Misha here, I wish I hadn’t said the things that I did. My thoughts are with him and I long for him, I miss him. Once again I look at my mother’s picture. She was so young when she died, life can end so fast and if… Maybe I should have told Misha the truth? Would he have listened? Would he have stayed? He wanted me to tell him...

Does it matter to me if he’s had criminal background? I wonder about it, thinking how he was to me at the beginning, yet now Misha can be so gentle and loving. I am not perfect myself, I’ve treated people wrong and he still loves me so why shouldn’t I love him despite everything? And I do, I do love him and now I long for him more than any other ever.

 I just threw the best thing in my life away and I curse my own stupidity! Can I make it right?

**^^**^^**^^^**^^**

Vodka:



I get home and take out the bottle of vodka, the strongest alcohol I have at home now, I take out a glass and pour a generous amount of liquor in it, then down it in one gulp. It feels as if I scorched my throat with it, but this sensation is nothing compared to the pain I feel inside me. He ... was I only some sick adventure for him? I drink another shot, then another one, cursing my disability to get drunk quickly and easily. A shot follows a shot and only when the bottle is nearly empty, do I finally feel some relief. I feel all giggly and snicker to myself, at my own stupidity, at the feelings I have for him ... but then I feel sad once again. The room seems to float around me.

Stupid Misha, stupid fool! This is what you get for loving someone… For loving him… Should have known… just another, another in that long list of his, pulling my heart out, throwing it away like it meant nothing at all to him…

I shakily walk around my apartment, giggling to myself at things I remember; Joni calling me a repairman, his undignified squeals and moans when we had sex for the first time, his rage when he didn't want to be my slave ... I take another bottle of alcohol, wine this time and open it, spilling some onto the floor. Ooops, Misha's drunk, hehe! Misha, you're a bad boy, getting this drunk. I snicker to myself and drink the wine from the bottle, not pouring it into a glass. Some of it spills onto my chin and I dry it with my hand.

I sit on the floor, pain in my chest, is this how it feels to have your heart broken? And I am haunted by everything that is him, how his touch felt, still lingering on my skin. How he smells, how he tastes like. Should have known better… And then, once more thinking how pitiful I must be looking like now, I laugh, I laugh my heart out, but do not find any comfort. The great Misha has fallen, I’m on my knees now and I laugh; how could I be so stupid thinking that you could care for me! You care of no one but yourself. And yet as the thought escapes from my mind, in my heart I know it’s not true. I want to drink myself into oblivion, sweet oblivion.

Joni:

It's getting late, the sky is dark and it's raining. I miss him, everything that is him, I remember him, his smell, his touch, his lips. And again my phone rings and I stare at it, hoping to see Misha's name but instead I see the one I fear; caller’s ID unknown. I want Misha, he said he loved me? If it's true then wouldn't he understand if I would tell him all that’s been going on?

I would be ready to beg, I’d crawl to his feet and tell him to spank me because I was bad, because I was stupid. I’d give my everything, just to have him back to me.


Vodka:

I am giggling madly now, remembering Joni's faces he made on different occasions. The wine is almost gone and my mood is way up right now. Then I hear ringing. I look around for the source of the sound, then realise it's coming from my own pocket; it's my phone. I take it out and answer it without looking at the caller's ID, "Will you drink with me?"

"Would you still drink with me, Misha?"

"Mmmm," I hum to the receiver, recognising Joni's voice. "We could drink together."
“I miss you,” his voice whispers. “And I'm sorry Misha... I was... I want to drink with you. I want to... be with you.” I smile though nobody can see it.
"How about I'll bring you a bottle of the best wine I have?"
"Yes... I want you here, I want you so bad.. Bring the wine and come to me. I'll leave the front door open."
“ ‘Kay,” I murmur into the receiver and then hung up. The bottle of the best wine ... where did I put it? I stagger to the fridge but can't find it. Where the hell is it? I need it for Joni, I must bring him a bottle of wine ... where else I might have put it? My bar? I slowly go there, finding nothing. No wine. I take out my phone again and call Joni, waiting for him to pick up the receiver.

He takes awhile to answer. Then finally a click and a softly spoken:
“Yes?”
“Joni, no wine, it disappeared.” I almost whine.
“Are you drunk Misha?” He asks amusedly. “Might the wine have disappeared in your tummy?”
“It might,” I answer thinking hard for a moment, then realise that yes, I might have drunk it already. “So now I don’t have anything to bring you… we can’t drink together.” I sigh.

"It's alright, just bring yourself, we don't need the wine." He tells me reassuringly.
"You sure it's OK?" I still hesitate. It's not polite to visit someone without a present.
"I am sure, just please hurry. I want you, need you here."
I smile to myself again, suddenly feeling all happy and high from something else than alcohol. "Will be there soon." I hang up once more and dial the cab; it arrives within 30 minutes. I give the driver the address. The driver doesn't say anything, he eyes me suspiciously as if I were to barf all over the inside of his car; I snicker as I get inside; no, Mr. Cab Driver, Misha will not puke his guts out. We're going, the driver silent, me - humming an odd tune. I'm going to Joni~~ Finally we arrive at the place and I pay the man, leaving him a generous tip, too. Let him know I'm not some barbaric drunkard. I stagger to the door.

Joni:

God, I am smiling to myself like some freaking idiot. He sounded so adorable all drunk and… he got drunk because of our fight? He really cares for me, doesn’t he? I’ve never seen him completely drunk, not like that, the man has an insanely high tolerance for alcohol and it leads me to another thought; how much did he drink? This should be interesting.

I take a nice hot shower and clean myself up very carefully, taking my time. I want to be at my very best when he comes, and then I snicker in my head at the word ‘comes’. Oh man what in the God’s name is happening to me? I want to hit myself and stop acting like some… some horny bitch.

Okay he’s very drunk first of all, he probably won’t even notice all this effort that I am making. I shrug my shoulders then and use my favorite cologne, nothing wrong in smelling all heavenly even though one would just end up sleeping in bed. I check my face from the mirror and nod to myself, yes, still looking good.

Then… what to wear?…hm… I do feel insanely horny and… He could be so drunk that he can’t… get it up… But… no harm in trying? I dress on my favorite pair of boxers, my ass looks amazing in them, well my ass always looks amazing but whatever… Then… a tight fitting t-shirt, again I check myself from the mirror and approve the way I look.

I walk down the stairs, stopping half way when I hear the sound of arriving car. I hold onto the railing and look at the door as it opens. My drunken man opens the door, he stands at the doorway as if looking for me with his eyes but looking in all the wrong directions. I tilt my head to the side smiling at the sight of him; so utterly drunk and adorable. My big cuddly bear.

“Hello stranger,” I greet him and his eyes finally find me. He smiles wildly, swaying a little, the door still open, letting in the wind, the rain.
“Hellooo…” He grins up to me, "do you know where a certain bottom lives? We were supposed to drink together, you know."
“Were you now? Well, maybe you should come in, out of the terrible rain to solve the mystery of this bottom," I say and continue down slowly, keeping my eyes on him and smiling when he staggers in closing the door after him and I see his eyes traveling down my body, I see his hunger.

"I think I will have little difficulty finding my bottom," He tells me and I see him taking a glance of my rear.
“It just so happens that I am missing my top. I am a lonely young man, stuck here in this big house with only the sound of the storm outside to keep me company. Won’t you stay a little longer my dear stranger? Won’t you stay and keep me company?” I am feeling a little playful. I undress him of his coat and place it on the hanger.


Soon enough I feel him behind me; hugging me, his hands on my abdomen.
“Here he is, I found him.” He murmurs in to my ear and I sigh with content, closing my eyes enjoying his warmth, his touch, the manly smell of him that makes me feel both secure and hot at the same time. “You smell yummy,” he informs me next, cuddling even closer, his chin coming to rest on my shoulder. I move my hand to touch his arm, feeling him so close behind me and I never want him to leave me again. How stupid I was to almost drive my bear away from me, I give his hand a light squeeze. I smell the alcohol on him, but I am not the least bit repulsed by it. I move my butt closer to his crotch in my horny state and feel him responding with a:
“Mmm….” He nuzzles my neck with his face, light tinging against my skin from his stubble, he kisses my neck. "Yes," he answers, "Yummy Joni."
"Maybe we should get you to bed?" I whisper, turning towards him, my arms around him, I kiss his cheek.
"Nooo ..." He groans with despair. "Don't want to go to sleep, too early ..."
"Do you not? What do you want then Misha?" I run my hands down on his body, feeling him. "Tell me, are you thirsty? Hungry?"
"No, not thirsty…um, not hungry either." He shakes his head and this movement makes him sway a bit. He almost hangs onto me to keep his balance. Then he snickers, "I'll tell you a secret; I'm drunk." I grin at him,
"I can see that you're drunk that's why I offered to take you to bed... It's getting late, we can... talk... in bed, before going to sleep." I kiss him briefly on his lips
"But I'm wet, too, from the rain," He whines pitifully. "I'll wet your bed."
"Oh you poor thing, how about a nice hot shower? I can, perhaps, try to find you something fresh to wear... Maybe some coffee?" I suggest, holding him up, he really would have trouble standing without me, and it makes me feel needed and… I like the feeling, I want to take care of him.
"Shower, yay! That's an idea!" He almost jumps from joy and I can’t help but to laugh. "You're gonna shower with me, yes?"
"I will, of course I will, I don't want you to drown there all alone."


"Hurry up!" He almost drags me with him, though I see he has some difficulties walking. In the bathroom he starts undressing, but the jumper gets stuck around his head.
"Joni!" He whines again, "this jumper wants to strangle me!" The cuteness of him makes my heart all warm and the smile on my face is like glued there. I walk over to him and help him to remove the ‘strangling’ piece of clothing away.
"There now, better?" I ask him, looking at him, my hand touches his face, stroking the skin. I lean to give a small kiss on his cheek. "Let me help you to undress the rest." I ask then.

"Ok… Thank you, Joni," He tells me.
"No problem," I smile and start to undress him off his jeans and underwear, I kneel down on the floor and urge his legs to move up, so I can take the clothing from around his ankles. I stand up then and quickly undress myself, making sure that Misha stays in balance, he's swaying on his legs. I turn the water on, take his hand in mine. "Come on baby,"

Vodka:

I nod my head once again and we're getting under the gentle warmth of the water spray. Its touch on my skin makes me a bit more coherent. I feel Joni's body next to mine and remember how good it has always felt to touch him, to be close to him. I want to be close to him. Once again I cling to him, or support, yes, but also for this closeness. I want to feel his body, I want to be able to always say he is mine. "Are you mine, Joni?" I whisper, not knowing if he even hears me over the sound of running water. He wraps his arms around me, hugging me, his head comes to rest on my shoulder.
“I am yours completely Misha. And I’m sorry for the way I’ve been acting, for how silly I have been. I never wanted to hurt you. I- I love you.”
.
"Good ... I don't know what I would do if you didn't," I say honestly. It's the alcohol; now I remember why it's so good to have a strong head for the alcohol. I always whine and behave childishly and spout some shit, that’s so embarrassing. And I have been doing ever since I arrived at Joni's. "You're not mad with me?"
"I'm not mad, we both said things that... well... I know I have been acting like... a slut... but that was before you, you've changed me and I don't want anyone else anymore. It's the truth, I swear."

These words make my insides melt with happiness and I sloppily kiss him, wanting to get my message across to him, the message that I am sorry for the words I said, I am happy with him like that, I am ... hm, another thing that happens to me while I'm drunk it's I get aroused all too easily. I can't control it. And now, at this very moment, I feel a sudden wave of lust spread in my body and moan into his mouth. I feel him responding, no more fighting, I can be sure that he wants it. His hands move on my back, and my buttocks.
"Your body is heavenly," he whispers.
I shiver, feeling his body come in an even closer contact with mine. I let my hands rub against his arms up and down while my mouth desperately tries to kiss Joni. But I can't, he's nipping at my ear now. "Joni," I finally growl, "my ear has been kissed enough, now it's my mouth's turn." He smiles and turns his head. Finally his mouth is on mine and I may start the feast on it. I catch his upper lip with my teeth, tugging it delicately, sucking on it. Then I let my tongue slip inside the warm cavern and explore a bit, curios and searching. His body presses against mine, I feel his hands grope my butt and I respond with a rock of my hips. "Jo-Joni" I say with a little difficulty. "I'm afraid that under the shower I'm posing a great danger to both of us at the moment. Don't want us to slip and end up with bruises and broken bones," I inform him seriously, though my voice is breathless.
"Let’s take this to the bedroom?" he asks breathlessly, his eyes look into my own and I can see his lust that makes me feel even more hot.
"The bedroom is definitely a better idea," I nod my head and take a step out of the shower stall.


Joni:

I take a towel and dry us both as quickly as I can, I take his hand and lead him toward my bedroom, but I change my mind half way; the bed in my dad’s and step mom's room is better and bigger.

Once in, I help Misha to lay down and climb on top of him, I kiss his lips eagerly.
“Better?” I ask him.
“Definitely,” he responds, his hands travelling down on my back and he tries to answer to my hungry kisses and I smile from satisfaction and joy when feeling how his cock grows and becomes hard and I rub myself on him, moaning, trying my hardest to get him to the same stage of lust that I’m in. “I want you Misha, want you so bad…” I whisper to him. The pleasure of feeling his strong hands on my body, I’m in heat really, that’s what I am. “Say something to me in Russian.” I moan then, it’s the new kink of mine, I bet he could tell me what he intends on buying from the shop next day with his native language and I’d be all over him. I am weird. And when he finally murmurs something, I kiss him with more hunger than before. And finally he turns me under him, groaning.
“Horny Joni… naughty…” He whispers, kissing me all over and I part my legs wide, pulling my knees close to my chest, offering myself to him, wanting him to just take me. He smirks a little. “Naughty… evilness, you know I can’t resist you…” and the preparation is fast, but I find that I wouldn’t even have patience for longer. I moan with pleasure when he finally thrusts in.


Vodka:

He’s warm and welcoming, can’t help but to moan, I lay down on top of him, my hands in his hair, so soft, he smells good all over and I feel completed inside him like this. No one has made me feel like him before, I have never wanted anyone this bad. Alcohol and lust are making me dizzy and I move in him unable to control my body. ‘Mine’ I think as I look at him under me; his face contorted with pleasure. I suddenly become curious; it's a weird feeling, to be so close to climax and at the same time be so curious ... "What's does it feel like?" I pant out. His brown eyes flicker open to look me in my eyes.
“I feel you…” He whispers, “… inside and…I-“ sudden moan breaks his sentence. “…feels so good… sooo good Misha. Trust you, love you.” I suddenly shiver, caught by my climax, gasping for breath. It feels amazing, so amazing because it is Joni. I take a couple of long moments to regain coherency. I pull out and lay on his side, his hand reaches out to mine, he snuggles closer, his head on my chest and the warmth of him close to me feels so comforting.
The alcohol I’ve consumed, the sex I just had and the warmth of my lover next to me makes me feel sleepy and slowly I slip into the state of deep sleep.


Joni:


I watch him silently as he sleeps, studying his face and smiling to myself. He’s so handsome, I kiss his skin softly, lovingly. How could I be without my Vodka anymore? I feel calm there next to him, no one else has ever gotten so close to me. I ponder everything that’s been going on, my fears concerning Pete and those phone calls. I said I trust Misha, didn’t I? He loves me and he deserves to know what’s going on. I need to confess that I need him that this situation is too much for myself to solve. I cuddle closer to his strong body and decide to forgive myself for my own vulnerability. Tomorrow I will tell him everything, I need him to know, I need his help.

Web published: My Secret Shore

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Love and Broken Hearts 26

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