Chapter 9

He was angry, didn’t remember the last time that he had felt so angry, or frustrated, wanting to punch something, again! Kamil kicked a beer can on the ground that had landed on his way, continuing to walk with hurried angry steps. Roni annoyed him, managed to break his calm nature by acting the way he was; a guest in his home saying those things about Niko and touching him, but the worst part was that Niko seemed to allow it.

That evening they had had fun, before coming home… the images rolled in his mind; the club, Niko’s expression of pleasure, dinner, laughter, holding hands and that kiss… And then it was all ruined by that snake! Didn’t Niko see through him? He wondered.

His feet carried him to a place he wouldn’t normally go on his free day, but today was different, today he felt like getting drunk. Drunk enough to drown his anger and give himself some time to cool off or he might just run back to his apartment to beat up that snake.

Finally reaching his workplace he was greeted by his surprised co-worker.

“Kamil? What are you doing here? Didn’t you have a date today?” Kamil’s nostrils flared for a second, but taking a breath he gave his friend a tight smile.

“A rough evening,” he said, “can you get me a beer?”

The girl opened her eyes wider; seeing Kamil drink was as rare as seeing him date –which she didn’t see him doing ever!

“Are you ok?” She asked with concern and received another tight smile.

“Yeah, I’m peachy, a beer?”

A glass of beer was set in front of him as he took a seat down, his co-worker, taking advantage of the rather slow evening, took a seat opposite to Kamil.

“Alright, I know it’s not my business, but seeing you order a beer…so what’s happened?” She asked trying not o sound inquisitive, but more like compassionate. Kamil reached for the cool glass and took a sip; the beer definitely had a much different taste than what he had tried on occasion back home in Poland, but he didn’t care much of the flavour right now, he went for something else; for the numbing effect alcohol might have had on him.

“It’s just… been a rough week and rougher day,” he muttered taking a slow sip and it had been that asshole Roni, whom he’d gladly kick out of their apartment. “Yeah, thought that maybe a beer could help.” She nodded and as the bartender gave her a sign that there were still tables to be taken care of, she stood up.

“I’ll have a break soon, catch you then, Kamil,” she patted his shoulder and left to tend her duties.

It didn’t take long until he was being bothered again,

“Hi,” a voice greeted him, “can I sit down?” Kamil looked up, vaguely remembering the guy from somewhere, but at the moment didn’t remember or cared to remember. He shrugged his shoulders, not bothering to say anything, hoping the guy would take his silence as a clue that he wasn’t in the mood to talk.

“I know you from school,” The other one said as he sat down with his glass. “You don’t remember me?” He smiled a little, “I’m Richard, you can call me Rick,” he said and offered his hand unsure if it would be accepted.

“Kamil,” setting his glass on the table, Kamil not really willingly returned the gesture, squeezing Rick’s hand briefly and then returning to his glass. He took a sip, feeling the cool liquid slide down from his throat. “You’re right; I didn’t remember where I’ve seen you.” He said indifferently, “so what’s bringing you here?”

Richard chuckled lightly.

“My friend, she does this every week; a fight with her boyfriend, a few comforting words from me is all it takes...” He looked at Kamil carefully, “and every time I’m left here all alone,” he pouted slightly.

In his state, there was no other way for Kamil, but to misunderstand those words and  an expression of disgust snuck upon his face; this guy, Rick, or whatever, must have been just like Roni, taking advantage of the fact that his friend –pfft, yeah, some friend –was having some problems with her boyfriend and… “Do you do this often?” He asked taking another swing of his beer, his eyes gleaming weirdly.

Richard frowned, unsure what Kamil meant. “Do what often?” He gave the puzzled question.

It was as if a little devil was sitting on his shoulder and whispering in his ear, “Comfort your so called friend after she has had a fight with her boyfriend? Is it fun to prey on someone’s trouble?”

To this Richard found no other way to respond but to chuckle, “Oh she’s only a friend,” he assured, “trust me I’d be much better off if she’d have a decent boyfriend!” He grinned and then his face adapted more serious look, “I’m gay,” he whispered observing him.

Perhaps some other time the words would have made Kamil flinch; he wasn’t hiding his preference for guys, but he wasn’t actually telling about it to anyone either. But today, he only shrugged his shoulders, “Well, my mistake, no hard feelings,” he added, once again paying attention to his glass.

“You’re with that Swedish boy, right?” The other pressed on.

“Finnish,” Kamil immediately corrected. "He's from Finland, damn. Learn your geography, people, Sweden is a completely different country," he muttered without caring.

"Oh, sorry," Richard sighed though not really caring of the details; to him it was just the same. "Well, anyway, you know he's..." at this he hesitated, observing the other male, "I mean, I... well... this might be awkward for you... but... hell I... I kind of like you..."

The words caught Kamil’s immediate attention, though not the way the other guy would want it. This guy, Rick, didn't know Kamil one bit, so his like must have been based on physical attraction. "Let me re-phrase it," he narrowed his eyes. "You want to have sex with me?" He asked bluntly. The idea was ... tempting for one short moment. If Niko could sleep around, then Kamil could as well, right? But after that one moment he was back to himself; no, sleeping around would never work for him. He didn't want that stranger, attractive as he was, truth be told, he wanted Niko. Niko and no one else.

The other fell silent for a short moment, he hadn’t expected Kamil to be so blunt, he hadn’t seemed like such a blunt person, perhaps it was the alcohol? However he cleared his throat, “Okay, I won’t lie to you, I do find you attractive and I would certainly not oppose to have sex with you, but perhaps I’m looking for something more than just that.”

Once more, Kamil narrowed his eyes, watching the stranger. This whole situation was growing bizarre with every second more and more. He took his glass and drank the rest of his beer in one swig, then put the glass aside and stared at Rick.

"More? Like what more?"

"I don't know..." Richard muttered though he did know, he took a sip of his drink, "you know.... you're a smart guy... and he...well he's not worthy of you... "He leaned forward, "they say he likes rough, that he’s a bit kinky, you know?" He took a pause, "I think you prefer something/someone more decent,"

Snorting with amusement bordering on anger, Kamil leaned back against his chair and stared at Rick for a long moment. What was it today, with all of those people saying and knowing things about Niko? Roni assuming Niko would like to have a threesome and now this guy ... "How do you know it?" He asked, his voice dripping with sarcastic curiosity.

"Don't get upset," Richard said calmly looking at Kamil, "I don't know from personal experience," he assured. "Just what I heard. I don't think you know your boyfriend all that well." He said boldly, "or perhaps he doesn't want to tell you everything knowing you might not like it?"

Anger was slowly rearing its head; what was started by Roni and only slightly pushed back by a brief walk was re-surfacing again. Yet, he didn't want to show Rick that his words touched something inside of him, something that he was still unsure of. Was Niko hiding things from him? He decided to push the conversation into a different track.

 "No, I'm asking, how do you know I prefer someone decent? Maybe I just like it, giving it rough?"

Richard gazed at his drink, took a sip before looking back at Kamil, he smiled slightly, "I don't know if you have it in you, the rough side that is..." He answered and tilted his head, "You seem kind and decent and… well, you two just seem so different from each other."

Kamil didn't listen to Rick past the 'you don't have it in you' - this was the REAL reason why that snake, Roni, was so ... self-confident. He knew, perhaps that Kamil would not do anything ... but that was where the Finnish playboy was wrong.

"I do have it in me," he pushed his chair away and stood up, his mind formulating a plan. It was enough to go back home and simply act like a man, no hesitation, no friendly patting the snake's back. He deserved to be thrown out and thrown out he would be! "Gotta go," he said and leaving money for his beer at the bar he stormed out of the club. Oh, he would so show, no PROVE that could be decisive and finally get rid of that pest!

It perhaps didn't go as Richard planned, seeing Kamil go made him order another beer and curse silently; he didn’t seem to have much luck recently.

**^^**^^**^^**

Niko felt frustrated and annoyed as he walked to his room to find fresh clothes, Roni was following him.

“Come on, he doesn’t really care for you the way I do.” The man sighed, leaning against the doorframe watching him closely. Niko shook his head throwing his clothes on the bed trying to get a hold of himself, he felt wetness under his eyes because he felt guilty and worried that Kamil was mad at him.

“I was doing fine before you got back!” He snapped, not looking at him but towards the bed where his clothes had landed, when he walked closer intending to get dressed Roni followed and turned him around.

“I love you,” Roni breathed holding his hands on his shoulders, the bleeding of his nose had stopped.

“No you don’t,” Niko snorted, pushing him away, “I need to dress then I’ll go and look for Kamil.”

“You won’t find him, it’s a big city and I doubt he wants to be found now.” Roni sighed, “And what I said is true; I love you.”

“You know what Roni? Fuck you!” Niko snapped, took his clothes and stormed into the bathroom to change.

The man narrowed his eyes, followed and stood by the locked door.

“I know you love me as well, I know I hurt you in the past and I’m sorry, I wouldn’t do that anymore, I missed you…” No answer, the door remained shut, Roni reached to place his hand softly to the white door. “Niko?” He called, but was met with silence, “what are you doing?”

Niko slipped out of the bathrobe, allowed it to fall on the floor next to his feet’s before reaching for his t-shirt, then his boxers, he listened to Roni’s voice but remained silent, tears burned in his eyes; more for the worry of making Kamil angry than feeling moved by Roni’s words. He didn’t believe him, didn’t know why Roni kept on telling those same lies.

He would be a fool if he believed them after what Roni had done; abandoning him the way that he had.

Finally fully dressed he walked to the door and carefully opened it. Roni gave him an expecting look, frowning, waiting him to say something. Niko sighed, shook his head and walked towards the kitchen and again the man followed.

Niko reached for the kettle poured some water in it and then lowered it on the stove.

“Kamil wouldn’t lie,” he said with flat voice, he didn’t need to see Roni to know that he was there, “you did suggest a threesome to him,” he grossed his arms over his chest, feeling exhausted.

“It was a joke…” Roni defended, “I didn’t think he would take it seriously.”

Niko let out a burst of dry laughter and then shortly glared at him from over his shoulders.

“You lie so easily,” He remarked, “so naturally, the lies just flow through your lips, and you haven’t changed.”

“Yes I have.” Roni approached; tilting his head, “I have,” he repeated.

When his hand reached to touch him Niko shrank away,

“It’s possible you believe you love me but the truth is you don’t, you don’t know how to love. You have always been selfish, sure you can be romantic when it suits you, well with words if it gets you what you want…and I was naïve enough to believe you… once… “ Niko took a mug from the cupboard and prepared himself a cup of tea.

“I made a terrible mistake of letting you slip away from me; I flew all this way for YOU… Doesn’t that prove something?!” Roni’s voice lacked the previous calmness. Niko observed him quietly, took his mug and walked towards the table finally sitting down; he glanced at the remains of the chocolate cake, a brief, unhappy smile passing over his lips.

“I know all you favourite foods, drinks, desires, wishes…” Roni listed coming closer,  “I just want you to come back home with me, give me a chance, give us a chance! And I would repay you for everything, please Niko, come home with me…” Niko brought his gaze up to him, their eyes locked, Niko’s glimmering, Roni looking down with hope, plead, reaching to touch his hair.

“I was so swept away by you… “ Niko whispered, “so happy… I thought there was no one in the world more handsome than you.” To this Roni smiled in a way that Niko almost found amusing; god he was vain. “I did love you, I trusted you… but I can’t anymore.”

“Yes you can,” Roni whispered, kneeling down in front of him, he took his hand and kissed his palm, looking in his eyes in adoring way “I-“

“I think I know why you’re here,” Niko interrupted.

“For you of course.”

“No,” the younger man shook his head, “for yourself, you’ve always loved challenges and that’s what I am to you now. It would be a great mark in your book; travel here, convince me enough to come back with you and for awhile you’d be happy like that. I can already see it, perhaps we could be happy for some months, but less than a year and you’d get bored, then you would leave or one day I’d find you sleeping with someone else… “

Roni frowned, “You’re assuming things that are not true!“

“Am I?” Niko asked calmly, pulled his hand away and reached for his mug.

“Yes… Please, just hear me out, okay?” Roni sighed and Niko closed  his eyes briefly before opening them again, taking a sip of his tea. “Kamil walked out just now, he walked away; left you here with me, he doesn’t love you like I do, he can’t express his feelings, if he even has them for you…and I don’t want you hurt.”

“Oh stop it Roni,” Niko snapped, “you don’t know a thing about him, he wouldn’t hurt me like you have. I can’t blame him for leaving…” Niko sighed and took another sip. ”He’ll come back though.” He whispered then, looking away from Roni who finally stood up.

Roni took slow steps around the small room his hands behind his back, observing Niko quietly, finally he sighed.

“You love him,” he stated, leaning against the counter.

Niko was silent, staring down at the steaming mug. 

“Oh Niko,” Roni crossed his arms over his chest, gave him a sad look, “My little Niko, have I really lost you?”

“You hurt me, you broke my heart…” Niko whispered, “The waiting was the worse… Uncertainty, the questions only you could have answered… I kept waiting… hoping for a call or message or anything… someone drove by with a similar car as yours and my hopes flared up… Anything would have been better than nothing…” Niko’s voice was quiet, shivering, he looked up to the man, “Goodbye, even a harsh explanation, but you just left me… Just walked away… And now you’re here. How could you expect me to forget the past? The betrayal is much too big.”

To his surprise he saw the glimmer in Roni’s eyes, the man was gritting his teeth and looking serious, regretting almost.

“I’m sorry,” he breathed.

“Are you?” Niko asked, “Suddenly you realise what you haven’t before? I find it hard to believe.”

Roni swallowed and sighed, he ran his fingers through his hair looking down to the floor.

“I was afraid to tell you… I- I hate seeing you sad…”

This had Niko laughing. “Oh my GOD!... You are unbelievable!” He stood up, crossed his arms before his chest and started to pace.

“I’m not good at stuff like this!” Roni defended; weak effort. “I was a jerk, okay, happy?”

“Hardly…” Niko sighed

Soon enough the man had again approached him standing behind him, hands wrapped around him. Niko closed his eyes, annoyed and tense.

“I do love Kamil…” It just came out, he hadn’t even told Kamil and he didn’t think he’d be brave enough to tell him yet but it came out, his heart beat fast, he felt the man stiffen and sighing behind him, the arms slowly let go.

Roni walked silently towards the window, gazing outside. Niko turned to him standing still.

“You didn’t really lose your wallet?” He asked carefully.

Roni turned to look at him, smirked slightly before he shook his head.

“I still think I could offer you more than what you’re getting from him. I don’t see a future between you two, I’m sorry Niko but you’re just too different for from each other.”

Niko narrowed his eyes. “Opposites attract and you don’t know us well enough to say that. I’m getting sick of this.”

“Okay,” Roni took a deep breath and again approached him. “Face the facts Niko; Kamil stormed out, he hasn’t put up much of a fight, if he cared for you the way you do for him then I would not be standing here in front of you now.”

Niko looked up at him, his lower lip curving down slightly before he broke the gaze and attempted to move past him, Roni reached for his arm and pulled him back close.

“I’m not ready to give up on you,” the man whispered, “I’m here, he’s not…”

 “It’s too late.” Niko whispered back.

“It’s never too late,” Roni argued, “Kamil doesn’t love you.”

“Maybe he doesn’t, but he likes me.” Niko answered, “And for now it’s enough.”

“Is it?”

 “YES,” he answered tightly, “I can’t expect him to feel more, not yet, it’s still early. And at least he’s not lying to me.”

Roni snorted. “He doesn’t express his feelings, he left you here with me…”

“You’re trying to mess with my head and I don’t like it.” Niko locked their eyes, “Kamil is upset, he’s a good person, he went to cool off and he will be back! Now, let go of my arm! I’ve had enough of this, of you!”

“Niko…”

“I said I’ve had enough! What part don’t you understand?”

Roni looked at him quietly for one moment before deciding that this was another opportunity for him to kiss Niko; try once more to make him see, his hands lowered on the struggling youths buttocks and squeezed not allowing the escape he was clearly attempting.

**^^**^^**^^**^^**

With a clear aim in his mind, Kamil made it back home real fast. He noticed that the lights were still on, which meant Niko wasn't asleep. If he wasn't in bed, it meant he wasn't there with Roni, he comforted himself as he climbed a few stairs and checked if he could open the door. He could; obviously Niko was waiting for him. Kamil snuck inside quietly and almost immediately heard Niko’s annoyed voice, then Roni’s annoying voice, he couldn’t understand the words but Niko didn’t sound happy. It wasn't much, but it was a proof that indeed, he was faithful. If he were like people suggested, wouldn't he be having sex with his ex? But he wasn't. And, to Kamil's surprise and secret gladness, he was fighting Roni's advances! Taking a breath, Kamil strode inside the small kitchen where he saw what he expected to see - Roni's hands all over Niko.

"I don't think you should put your hands there. He grabbed and pulled them away from Niko's butt. "In fact, you shouldn't put them anywhere near Niko," he caught Roni's shirt by the collar and pulled the guy away, flashing him a smirk. "Mister Finnish Playboy is going to leave us immediately," he announced cheerfully, as if telling the best joke ever.

Roni's eyes widened; he really hadn't expected Kamil to return so soon.

"Hey there…" He tried, putting his hands on Kamil's chest to push him away, "Are you drunk?" He asked, "And hold on there, I still have to talk with Niko.”

"Not really," Kamil smiled broadly, deceptively. "You've taken quite enough of our time together and I'm not going to tolerate you any longer," he announced cheerfully again. He did drink a beer, one at the club earlier and one now at the bar. That was more than he'd normally drink in a month but it didn't mean he was drunk. But he'd pretend to be more drunk than he was, it would deceive Roni and make Kamil's task this much easier. "Out, Roni," suddenly moving faster, Kamil gripped him by his wrist, pulling his hand behind him and twisting it painfully at the same time and pushed him towards the door.

Roni hissed in sudden pain, surprised of Kamil’s strength,

“Niko!” He called seeing that his ex had followed them in the hall looking somewhat surprised and yet curious at the same time. “Where am I suppose to go?!” He hissed, trying to fight Kamil’s hold of him.

"I really don't care but maybe you'll find someone who'll agree to your threesome ideas," Kamil snorted again, thrilled with the fact it was so easy to get rid of Roni. Why didn't he do it right from the start? "Off you go!" He opened the door single-handedly and threw Roni out, then quickly locked the door behind him. "His things!" He remembered; Roni could easily accuse them of robbing him if they kept that damn bag with his clothes and whatnot. He ran to Niko's room, which had been temporarily used by Roni, grabbed the bag, and threw it out of the window. "Here! Your things!" He yelled, almost elated and then closed the window.

Niko could hear Roni’s angry screams from outside and was still surprised over what had just happened. He gave a hesitant look over Kamil, hesitant because he wasn’t sure if Kamil would be mad at him as well.

It should have been done AGES ago! Kamil dusted his hands off in a self-satisfied gesture and turned around, to face his flatmate, the corners of his lips tugging upwards in the widest grin, as if showing him how proud he was at achieving what he had achieved. But Niko's facial expression was not one of happiness, it was that of hesitation and ... was he not happy that Kamil had gotten rid of that snake? The grin slipped away; did Niko regret it? Would he want Roni to still linger here? A wave of momentary uncertainty washed over Kamil, he bit his lips and narrowed his eyes, watching Niko warily for a few seconds, before he reached a logical conclusion: if he had gotten rid of Roni physically, he could erase him from Niko's mind as well. And there was one way he knew that would ensure what he wanted. Closing the distance between them with two steps, Kamil latched onto Niko's lips with his, heady feeling that had gathered inside him during the evening spiralling out of control as he hungrily kissed Niko.

So Kamil wasn’t mad at him, Niko thought relieved as he eagerly answered to the kiss, his hands clinging on to Kamil’s shirt. The kiss was interrupted by  the ringing of his cell phone, he turned his gaze towards the sound, sort of knowing who the caller was and for a moment he felt small hesitation over the question if he should answer or not. He brought his gaze back to Kamil, his eyes holding the question which the other quickly read.

“No!” Kamil smirked, catching Niko’s wrist. He also had a very good idea of who was calling now and the ringing made him feel victorious. "Leave it," he huskily said as he pulled Niko towards his bedroom, the bedroom they shared for the last few nights without doing anything. Elation and the feeling of triumph, as well as earlier pent-up frustrations were swirling in him, creating a confusing mixture laced with arousal. It made him do what he did next, as soon as they got in his room; he started stripping, more like ripping Niko’s clothes off of him, impatient, watching as more and more of Niko's skin was  revealed. The sight made him lick his dried lips shortly before he bit his lower lip again, and then almost growled, "I want you. Now."

Niko was still so surprised with the turn of the events that he simply stood there and allowed to be stripped by eager, demanding hands, he shivering slightly when he felt the cool air brushed against his exposed skin and on the other side; the warmth radiating from Kamil. He smiled at him, curious now, excited, his heart was beating fast.

“I want you, too,” he assured reaching to kiss him. Kamil had returned for him, just as Niko had believed he would.

The words were like electric current that ran across Kamil's skin, making every little hair on his body stand on end; his breathing quickened and he felt himself harden at the thought of HOW he wanted Niko. The idea, the position ... He gasped, once again smirking. "Undress me!" he dared Niko.

Niko tilted his head, seeing Kamil’s smirk and hearing his lustful command made him grin.

“Gladly,” he replied and brought his hands to the hem of Kamil’s shirt, pulling it up. All thoughts of Roni were disappearing from his mind at an alarmingly quick rate. Niko’s hands caressed the naked torso that was revealed, his lips travelling along his neck softly slowly up, gentle nip of his earlobe before looking in his eyes, his hands lowering to open his pants.

“Where were you?” He asked with curiosity, his body shivering slightly from anticipation while his gaze lowered on Kamil’s naked chest.

“Out,” Kamil said, not wanting to remember his angry escape, "I'm back, and I definitely know better ways of spending time than talking right now," he said, looking at Niko with his eyes half closed and with his mind clouded with desire. "I want you to suck me," he added then, his voice commanding as a straight consequence of the happenings of the last hours.

To this Niko grinned again, gave him a quick kiss before lowering on his knees in front of him, he finished opening Kamil’s pants and pulled his length out, his hands immediately caressing the hardening organ, watching with keen interest as it grew. Niko licked his lips, smiled to himself happy of the task in hand and even happier just from the fact that Kamil had returned. He leaned forward to kiss the tip tentatively and with the tip of his tongue he teased the slightly leaking slit, he looked up to see Kamil’s reaction at the same time as his hand moved to roll his testicles gently.

 Kamil watched it happen with a kind of lazy satisfaction which didn't make his lust for Niko diminish. Just the opposite; seeing his friend, and recently, his lover give in so quickly to his demands only made the spark in his abdomen change into a steady flame, stronger and stronger with every moment. He reached with his hand, to play with Niko's hair, twining his fingers in its softness but doing nothing else. Niko's touch on his member and testicles was making him gasp and his newly-discovered, freshly-awakened need to dominate dictated his next words, "Lick it Niko, lick it really good," he grinned, just imagining it.

Niko felt the curiosity rise in his chest and he continue to look up at his lovers face as he hurried to fulfil the command given to him, lapping the hard cock in his hold with his tongue. This Kamil was a new Kamil, new side of him yet to be discovered completely and he wondered just what was going through on in the others mind. “Like this?” He asked innocently before returning to what he had been doing.

"Umm," Kamil approved with a stifled groan of pleasure, closing his eyes for a few seconds, his hips twitching forward a little, closer to that wicked mouth and lips. His hand instinctively went to Niko's hair again, his fingers raking through its softness when he made it known to Niko he definitely needed more, deeper inside and he was not afraid to demand for it.

 Niko smiled and decided to drop the teasing and take him between his lips and further into his mouth, popping his head back and forth, drool dripping down his chin when the soft slurping sounds filled the room. He kept glancing up at Kamil, working eagerly around his organ, feeling himself hardening in the process.

This must have been heaven, or at least somewhere very close to it, Kamil remarked silently, giving himself into the pleasure that Niko's lips were inducing. His member was throbbing, hard and needy but he didn't want to come like this; this was only the foreplay, one definitely very arousing but not satisfying. Kamil wanted more and more he would have. Much as he enjoyed Niko's lips on him, he wouldn't let the other one to take him over the edge. Stopping Niko with his hands, he pulled away, his member instantly chilled with the air.

"I want you on my bed," he grinned, already thinking ahead of what he needed. Lube, yes, it was in his wardrobe now, hidden but accessible and so very necessary now.

Niko licked his swollen, red lips and smiled as he nodded his head. He stood up slowly,

“On the bed,” he repeated grinning and approached his destination. Once close he turned and sat down on the edge, “How do you want me?” He asked, his voice slightly husky, willing to give the other the domination over the situation, after clearly sensing that it was what Kamil wanted now, perhaps even needed.

"You'll see," grinning, Kamil made it to the wardrobe and quickly found the small, well used tube, then turned towards the bed. "Step one, I want to see you prepare yourself for me." He threw the tube on the bed next to Niko. Then he pressed his back against the wardrobe, staring at Niko intently while his hand lingered above his own hardness.

Niko tilted his head, "Hm... Naughty... “ he snickered quietly as he took the tube, feeling himself blushing slightly as he opened it. the room was lit and he was sober, which caused him to feel slightly shy doing this, but he wouldn't let it get in the way, this new game excited him. He laid down on his back smearing the lube on his fingers before reaching down and touching himself there, he bend his knees and spread them slightly, another soft snicker, and careful glance towards Kamil as the blush on his cheeks deepened. He chewed his lower lip, his finger slowly moving inside of himself, his other hand carefully caressing his own organ almost hesitant. he breathed out and closed his eyes; it felt easier this way.

It was very new to Kamil, to just watch Niko do that to himself, and he would lie if he said it didn't excite him even more. It did; he felt more heat gather in his lower abdomen and sort of pulsate there. He could almost imagine it was his own finger that was sneaking inside Niko and easing the tightness. He moaned but kept still, drinking in the view before him. "You can touch yourself, Niko," he said hoarsely.

Niko opened his eyes halfway, his touch getting bolder; his hand closing around his organ while he gently pushed his second finger inside. He moaned quietly; it felt odd, tingle of pain when he spread his fingers, but mainly the oddness was caused by doing this to himself in front of Kamil’s eyes knowing how well the other could see him, every inch of him. He longed for Kamil’s touch to replace his own, but knowing that this was what Kamil wanted to see, he continued; he would be rewarded later, he was sure.

Slow, sensual and teasing, just to urge Kamil to approach him soon, his lips parted, subtle moaning, “Kamil…” He finally begged looking at him pleadingly.

Acknowledging the other's pleads, Kamil sauntered towards the bed, kneeling on the edge, between Niko's spread thighs, first of course, removing Niko's hands. Supporting himself with one hand, he let the other wander along the length of Niko's right thigh, stroking the hot skin of its inner part, almost touching the other's hardness but then straying downwards, his fingertips caressing the opening he found with circular motion. Then he let his fingers slip inside, two at once, thrusting them slowly in and out, mimicking the rhythm he would take on once he was inside Niko. "Today ..." he whispered, leaning closer to Niko, "I want to take you rough, Niko," he announced, that wanton grin once again appearing on his lips.

Niko looked at him, seeing the desire reflect from his eyes that made him shiver, he felt soft tingling in the bottom of his stomach. He trusted Kamil and was willing to give him anything he desired.

“I want you!” He whispered and started to softly rock his hips against the finger inside him to further give his permission this way.

"And as for  the position ..." Kamil leaned even closer, running his tongue over Niko's upper lip. No attention was being paid to his own hardness but didn’t really needed it. The sight in front of him was more than enough to keep him aroused. He withdrew his fingers and stood up, giving Niko an appreciative look before ordering, "Turn around, Niko, lie down on your stomach."

Niko smiled before rolling over in the position that Kamil wanted, gave him a look from over his shoulder and waited.

Kamil slowly crawled on top of him, kissing Niko’s neck before gently nipping the skin with his teeth’s, suddenly feeling an urge to leave a mark. While his hips rocked against Niko’s butt, his mouth still devoured his neck and shoulders, sucking and nipping, watching how the colour changed over the spots; marking Niko as his.

Niko closed his eyes, simply enjoying the feel of Kamil’s naked skin against his own, the feel of his his lover’s arousal moving between his buttocks, his warm breath against his skin. He let out a small moan, arching his lower back slightly as he pushed his ass up wanting to feel Kamil inside of him and forget Roni’s visit completely, wanting to feel he belonged to Kamil and no one else.

Niko’s skin felt so warm and smooth; Kamil thought as his hips started to move more and more impatiently against him. He felt his organ throbbing with the intense need to be buried inside of Niko’s heat, just take him and make him forget that there ever was a man called Roni.

He found himself shivering with anticipation, his hand almost trembled as he reached towards the tube and squeezed some of the gel like substance on his palm before rubbing it over his heated flesh. He couldn’t think straight, his thoughts were fussy and revolved only around being as close to Niko as possible, if he still had to wait surely he’d go insane!

 “So,” he shifted on top of his lover, nudged Niko’s legs apart, took a hold of his hips and pulled them up. His breathing was harsh as he gazed at the tiny, slick, pink hole waiting for him. Kamil took a hold of his organ and nudged it against Niko, not entering him yet, just teasing.

“You want me to fuck you, don’t you?” His own voice almost sounded foreign in his ears, as if it wasn’t himself talking, the words just spilled from his lips and he could feel the intensity of his desire growing, burning and twirling in the bottom of his stomach and groin.

Niko shivered, looking over at Kamil almost as if he needed to see him to truly believe that this was his lover. Kamil’s eyes had taken a darker shade and Niko licked his own dry lips, nodding slowly.

“Yes,” he gave his answer that made Kamil smirk and to add to his consent Niko rolled his hips slightly, invitingly, encouraging Kamil to do whatever it was that he wanted.

“Hard?” Another question.

“…Yes…” Niko whispered after a small pause.

It was all the encouragement Kamil needed and he wrapped his arm around Niko’s stomach as his other helped to push the head of his organ into the tight channel. He gasped at the feeling, almost drew blood from his lip and kept ramming his length further inside until it was buried completely.

Niko lowered his forehead against the pillow, gritted his teeth at the pain of being penetrated none too gently. His fingers curled into fists, his muscles tensed slightly and he let out a small gasp.

It was amazing what went through Kamil’s mind. The tight, warm grip around him was simply maddening. He found himself trembling slightly, his hands tightening around the slim hips of his friend, no, his lover; he decided.

But Niko seemed too tense; Kamil saw how his hands were squeezing the sheet under him and he waited, his hand moved on Niko’s lower back, making soothing circles on his skin. Finally he felt and saw him relaxing, his fingers straightened over the sheet and Niko brought his head up slightly, turned his face towards him and smiled. Such a sweet smile that Kamil couldn’t help but to learn forward to try and catch Niko’s lips for a brief, playful kiss.

Niko welcomed the kiss before shifting slightly, Kamil’s length still buried deep inside of him he searched for comfortable position, laid his forehead against his hands that were now drawn up on the pillow.

“Go on, I’m fine now,” he whispered.

Getting the green light from Niko made Kamil do the first tentative thrusts, his eyes closed as the warmth his body was experiencing seemed to grow and spread all over. His hold around Niko’s hips tightened, nails breaking the skin slightly without him being fully aware of it. His body soon acted on its own will, snapping out of control, first with harsh backward and forward motions again and again. Then it adapted to a slower pace, an even rhythm that felt wonderful before pulling almost completely out and slamming back in.

Niko bit his lip, concentrating on the feeling of Kamil moving inside of him, slight pain which was wrapped together with pleasure. He loved listening to the grunts and moans that spilled from Kamil’s lips, loved that his body could offer him this enjoyment and release of the stress that he must have been experiencing during Roni’s stay.

As the pleasure kept on building, Kamil lost the very last bit of control, surrendering completely to the carnal urge. His hands moved along Niko’s back to his shoulders, his thrust taking more frantic, hard pace.

Niko started to feel slight discomfort towards the end, sort of burning pain, not too bad but still, perhaps it was little too fast for his liking? His body jerked, he lay his head down on the pillow once more, Kamil was close; he could hear it, but he himself needed something more to reach that point. Tears began to gather in his eyes, but he simply gritted his teeth to endure the pain, finally just as Kamil reached his orgasm Niko couldn’t help the small whimpers escaping from his lips.

Kamil’s moves slowed down as he milked his seed into the body beneath him, wave after wave, completely wrapped around the pleasure he felt, outside world didn’t exist at that moment.   Finally his movements stilled completely and he lay down on top of Niko.

Kamil tried to catch his breathing; he kissed Niko’s shoulder gently, his hand brushing his hair softly. His orgasm had totally caught him off guard and now he felt a little bit weird, quite sure that Niko hadn’t reached his and it made him feel bad.

“You okay, Niko?” He asked with slight concern over his voice. Niko turned his face to the side looking at him, smiling slightly, but Kamil saw the glimmer in his eyes; tears. “You’re hurting?” Kamil asked softly, worried now.

“I’m fine,” Niko tried to assure and Kamil frowned unsure whether he believed him or not. He pulled out as gently as he could, watching as his cum leaked out of the hole.

Kamil’s heart started to beat up faster, what had he been thinking? How could he have been so careless? He hadn’t even used a condom!!! And though they had had that conversation before during which; Niko had told him he was healthy, got tested regularly he couldn’t help that small worry that rose its head. Dismissing the thought for now, more concerned over how Niko was feeling he leaned closer and kissed his shoulder as a silent apology.

Kamil got up to get some tissues from the table before returning, sitting down and carefully starting to clean his own seed from between Niko’s cheeks and thighs. When he saw few droplets of blood on the paper he felt worse and bit his lip, carefully and tenderly stroking the skin of Niko’s lower back as another silent apology.

“Were you hurting the whole time?” He asked, looking up at Niko, who turned slowly, smiling softly at him.

“No, I liked it.”

Kamil sighed, “The truth, Niko?”

“It only hurt at the end but it’s normal that it hurts sometimes, its okay, and I’m fine…”  The other tried to assure. Kamil lowered his gaze on Niko’s body, down to his intimate area and reached his hand to the half hard organ, slowly starting to massage it. he felt bad that he hadn’t noticed that he had hurt him, that he hadn’t put up more effort to make Niko come during the sex.

“I want to know if I’m hurting you Niko, at any time. if you are hurting I want you to tell me so I can do something to change that. I enjoy it more knowing that you enjoy, alright?”

Niko moaned slightly with the pleasure that Kamil’s touch brought to him, eyes half opened, cheeks reddish.

“I will, I promise… I-I just wanted you to enjoy…”

Kamil silently wondered just how selfish Niko’s past lovers had been.

“I enjoy watching you turned on and willing,” Kamil whispered leaning down to kiss Niko’s neck and chest, tenderly and softly now to make up the past roughness. He licked around Niko’s nipples, his hand taking slow rhythm in massaging his dick, wanting to do anything possible to make Niko feel good and enjoy himself.

Niko whimpered in pleasure this time as he felt Kamil’s soft lips move along his body, lower on his belly, other hand caressing the tender flesh of his inner thighs. Tender kiss planted on the tip of his now fully hard organ, Kamil’s tongue teased its head, small licks over the slit.

“Feels good,” Niko panted which made Kamil smile; he wanted to make it better. He moved his other hand along Niko’s leg further down until he grasped his feet and lifted it to look at it carefully. Niko had pretty feet’s; so soft, pink and clean. Kamil kissed his toes which caused a small snicker from the other male.

Niko opened his eyes gave Kamil a curious look and smiled when he saw him grin.

“What do you want Niko?” Kamil asked, “Tell me what you want me to do.” He encouraged, kissing his toes one by one, his other hand simply ghosting around his organ now.

“I want you to… suck me, please…” Niko pleaded and Kamil was more that happy to apply.

He let go of Niko’s feet and leaned back down to take his organ into his mouth, his hand caressing his balls, rolling them between his fingers, doing what he remembered Niko enjoyed previous that evening, which seemed forever ago.

Moans from Niko’s lips, the upward shift of his hips definitely let Kamil know that he was enjoying it. Smiling around his organ, humming softly Kamil continued.

“Nnh …Coming…” Niko warned but Kamil didn’t stop what he was doing, after all he did it before, he could do it again; allow Niko to cum in his mouth.

He tried to swallow what he could, but still some cum managed to escape. When finished he started to lick Niko’s organ clean, remembering that the other often did it to him after this.

Smiling he looked up to Niko’s face, his skin of his face was pale except for his cheeks and lips, his green eyes half open and Kamil though he looked absolutely beautiful then. An odd warmth spread in his chest and he crawled up to kiss his cheek.

 “Feeling better?” He asked with a whisper, nuzzling against his ear.

“Definitely,” Niko answered smiling, before pulling Kamil up to lie on top of him. “Thank you.”

“I’m sorry I hurt you…” Kamil whispered, “I’m not comfortable with that… you’re bleeding there…”

 “Just a small tear I’m sure. Don’t worry Kamil, it happens.” Niko murmured against his his lover’s cheek, stroking his hair tenderly, “it’s okay to be rough sometimes; I would have said no if I didn’t want it.”

Kamil brought his head up to look at him.

“Still, it’s not okay to hurt you, Niko… and… please, please tell me in the future when you start feeling pain like that…”

Niko smiled up at him. Kamil was so sweet to him, no one had ever been so sweet to him before and the more he cared for him. The more he loved him the more frightened he became that Kamil would stop liking him, that he would leave like Roni had, like his father had; the men in his life that he had loved. 

He reached to take Kamil’s hand.

“I’m happy now, when it’s just you and I… I’m happy here with you.” He whispered and Kamil smiled at him, didn’t really answer just leaned down to kiss him gently.

“Let’s go and take a shower.” He said then, “Then we really need some sleep.”

He got up from the bed and reached to help Niko up as well, noticing the small gasp of pain he let out while sitting up. Kamil still wanted to beat himself up for it. He didn’t want to be like those other guys in Niko’s life; he wanted to be better than them. He also wanted to know why people were saying all those things about Niko, why all the rumours? Maybe he should ask Niko later? For now he still wanted to make up for being too rough with him.

Web published: July 9th, 2009.

My Secret Shore

© KOLGRIM 2006 - 2009

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