FOREIGNERS

CHAPTER 1.  Flat Mates

Niko needed to find a new place to live and he needed it bad. He refused to spend another night with his current roommate. The guy was just creepy, there was no other word for it and he was sure that if he were to stay, he’d end up as a victim of some weird ritual murder by the end of the semester.

He had seen the add in the university. Some guy was looking for a flat mate and had requested; non smoker (checked), not too loud (checked, but holding the right to be loud in some obvious occasions…) and someone who will be able to share the expenses (that went without saying).

He checked the address and saw that he was indeed at the right place. He stood in front of the door and took a deep breath, preparing himself to a dazzling smile.


Kamil had been experiencing some financial problems. He was a poor student, with some money after getting a job, but he was still in need of some financial help. After thinking about it, he had finally decided that the best alternative was to find himself a roommate. He had asked some of his friends at the uni, but all of them had said ‘no’ so he had done the add. There had been couple of people to see the place, but for some reason he hadn’t been able to accept them as his potential flat mates.

The last two guys had been… obnoxious, to put it mildly. Kamil just wanted to find someone who’d look normal, behave normal and not… Well he started to question whether or not his standards were too high. He had never had a flat mate before, it was not common in his country to have one… He decided that the next guy who’d look half decent would get the place, because he really needed the extra money.

The doorbell rang, Kamil sighed, hoping in his mind that this would be it, but also preparing himself to be greatly disappointed and to meet another weirdo.

When he opened the door he was pleasantly surprised to see a handsome boy standing there, from the looks of him he was about the same age as Kamil. His hair was light brown, with golden reflexes, his eyes were sparkling green. This one was looking intelligent, Kamil took a note, the sort of guy who’d understand not to make too much noise.

“Hello?” he greeted the boy with inquisitive tone.

“Hello,” the boy smiled brightly offering his hand to him, which Kamil took. “I’m Niko, Niko Kettunen, and I won’t be offended if you can’t pronounce my last name and forget it in less than 5 minutes…” Kamil smiled back at him.

“I’m Kamil Lisowski, nice to meet you,” he replied, nicely surprised by the guy’s melodious but deep voice. A foreigner, just like him, which could be an advantage. He seriously couldn’t stand Americans at times, many of them so incredibly full of themselves, looking down on him as if he were a worse human being. And all the popularity drive, it was also something he couldn't understand.

“You were looking for a roommate, right?” Niko asked then, raising his eyebrow.

“Yes, I need… well, I have a room to rent,” Kamil nodded his head and almost slapped his forehead, he was so clumsy at times, they couldn’t just stand at the door like that. “Come in and I’ll show you.”

“Thank you,” Niko said and moved further in, smiling at the guy, studying him carefully. The guy was handsome, dark hair, brown eyes, cute glasses, a few centimetres taller than him. Then he gave himself a mental kick, less than 5 minutes and he was already drooling over him! He took his eyes off of the guy, and started looking around in the small hall. “What would be my room, um, I mean the room that you’re renting?” He asked, turning to face him again.

“The one on the left,” Kamil pointed towards the room with his head, at the same time closing the front door. "It's a bit smaller than mine, but has a nicer view from the window," he told him, actually wanting the guy to be his flatmate, he really did look intelligent, normal and… well, handsome, which might cause some trouble… He told himself to forget it, to not think about it. He opened the door to the room allowing the guy to look inside. "Go in and check it for yourself. Apart from that the flat has a small kitchenette and a bathroom, I know, nothing too fancy ..."

"I like small, and cozy, reminds me of home," Niko grinned at him, before continuing, "my room at home was small too, well not small but, well just right, like this." He moved in front of the window to look out. "Oh can I see what the bathroom looks like?" He asked next.

Kamil remembered the pile of dirty clothes on the bathroom floor and prayed that Niko wouldn’t mind them. He was thankful that at least the tub and the toilet were clean.

"Sure, the bathroom is over there.” He told him, pointing towards the door. Niko moved past him and checked inside.

“Oh, you have a bathtub, I love bathtubs!” Niko exclaimed and Kamil released a silent sigh of relief; he hadn’t said anything about the pants and sweatpants lying in the corner.

"I had a bathtub at home ... would actually prefer a shower ... much more convenient ..." Kamil stammered, unsure why he was even telling him that.

"We had sauna, I wanted a bathtub too, but they said... just like you... about the shower being more convenient... But I would have wanted one just the same, convenient or not." Niko told him, noticing then the dirty pile of clothes on the floor, it bothered him somewhat as he was a little obsessed with clean bathrooms and kitchens; two rooms that should always stay clean."So how about the kitchen?”

"It's there," Kamil showed him the direction. "Sorry for the clothes, didn't have time to do the laundry," he said sheepishly. "The kitchenette, in fact, very small but ... easy to keep clean." Which was a big plus for him, he hated cleaning and the less cleaning, the better.

"Looks good,” Niko nodded, “so, how much is the rent?" he turned to look at the guy.
"Well," Kamil started as calmly as he could. He didn't want to scare him with the price, what if he couldn't afford it? "It's .....750 dollars… Can you pay half of it? Monthly? Plus, of course, electricity and water bills ..." Niko thought about it, it sounded decent enough, plus his mother had promised to send him money if it ever got tough for him.

"I think I could make it, um, yeah." He nodded again, studying the other boy, it might be better to get to know him a little better, just to make sure that they could get along with each other. "You're not American?" He asked then, quite sure in fact that he wasn’t, he spoke English very well, but there was that slight accent.
"No, I'm not. Polish," Kamil told him, unsure if the guy knew where it was located. "Middle Europe. And you?"
"Um, I'm from Finland,” Niko said, “It’s the country between Sweden and Russia.”He added; it was just something he had gotten used to adding since starting to live there, after getting so many confused looks from people when he told them where he was from. And he thought that people should at least know Sweden and Russia, so…

"I know where it is, learnt my Geography well at school," Kamil told him, feeling a little offended.
"I could even tell you all the European countries with their capitals if necessary ..." He then realised that he had sounded a little rude. "Sorry, you're not American, either, they never know where Poland is and I kind of ... grew accustomed to telling everyone where my country is located, sorry ..." Then he almost slapped his head - again. Feeling just plain stupid. "Do you want tea? Or coffee? Or something?"

"Yeah, Americans, tell me about it!” Niko rolled his eyes. ”You know funny story about that... In the first week of my arrival, I had to go to the hospital, just a routine check really, anyway… the woman at the front desk was taking my information and asked me my country, so I told her and she went like; No, I mean THE country? And so again I told her that yes, my country is called: Finland. But no, she couldn’t take the information! Then, believe this, she asked; isn’t it a part of Sweden? SWEDEN! I was like yeah; like 200 years ago! God these people give me a headache sometimes…” Niko bit his lip, stopping himself from going on and blabbering. “But yes, I’d like a cup of coffee thank you.”

"Oh, so you too have stories to tell?" Kamil grinned at him, putting the kettle on the cooker for the water to boil. "Do you want instant coffee or brewed coffee?" he asked, not knowing how the guest drank his coffee. Americans all drink this coffee prepared by machines ... Kamil couldn’t understand it. Then he remembered that he didn't have instant coffee. "Ok, sorry, no instant coffee, I only have natural coffee ..."

"Yeah natural coffee is fine, better actually, hm..." Niko smiled at the sight of the kettle, reminded him of his grandmother, who always said that the best coffee is made that way, and machines are the work of evil. "So you study at the same school? That's where I saw your add about this place."

Kamil nodded his head as he took out two mugs and put two teaspoons of coffee into each.

"Strong coffee?" He inquired.

"With milk, if you have?"

"Sure," Kamil checked the fridge, hoping there is still some milk left. His mother had always taught him that he shouldn’t ever let milk run out. He saw one can of milk, took it, shaking it carefully; it was still half full. "Sugar?" He asked; he always used sugar himself he couldn’t stand the bitter taste of coffee without sugar.

"Only very little, like half a teaspoon."

"Ok," Kamil prepared everything, pouring the boiled water into two mugs, waiting before adding a little milk into Niko’s coffee and then half a spoon of sugar that he had asked for. “So…” He started as he handed the coffee mug to Niko, trying to keep the hopeful note from his voice. “Can I ask you a few questions...? You know, like ... if you smoke?" Smoking was definitely something Kamil hated above all things, he hated the smell.

"No, I don't smoke, I like to keep my lungs healthy," Niko smiled, "how about you?”

"No, God, no! No smoking!" Kamil laughed. "Seriously, haven't smoked in my life." One of his uncles had died of lung cancer caused by smoking so he could say that he would never smoke either. "What about drinking? Not that I'm a teetotaller but ... “

Niko was silent for a minute, he did drink, he drank almost every weekend, not to get himself drunk each time, but… Well and he did enjoy going to clubs to dance, what annoyed him was that in this country him being 20, was still too young to drink, when in his own country he’d been adult in that sense, for good two years now. “I do drink, but I know my limits and er… Do you like to go out? To party or…?”

Kamil took a sip of his coffee.

"Not really," he admitted. "I'm not a party animal, actually prefer to sit at home and read a good book ..."

"Oh," Niko said, tasting the coffee, "home nights are fun sometimes," he nodded his head at this, not really seeing himself with a book on a Saturday evening. Perhaps with a movie and a beer or two but... "So you like to read then?" Okay it was a stupid question and he wanted to kick himself for it.

"Yeah, and ..." Kamil thought he sounded like some bore now ... "... I like watching films, too." And again he felt the urge to hit himself; as if this was something unusual! ‘Kamil! You're an intelligent person, try to say something INTELLIGENT. Or half intelligent at least!’ He scolded himself mentally. "Ok, what about ... practical things. Do you cook? Clean? Things like that?"

"I clean, but as for cooking..." Niko said, looking at the kitchen, "Um, I'm not that fond of cooking, my mom usually kicked me out, she saw it better if I don't even try helping her," he laughed, "But cleaning is okay with me, in fact, the scary part is that I sometimes enjoy cleaning more than what is normal. I'm a cleaning freak sort of speak," he grinned. "Not too freak though," he added almost nervously. Kamil laughed.

"Don't worry about the freak part ... Niko, right?" He checked if he remembered the name.

"Yes," Niko nodded whit a smile. "So... Kamil, do you think this could work?"

Kamil stroked his nose along with his index finger, adjusting his glasses.

"I was about to ask you the same question, in fact. As long as you ... don't make too much noise and allow me to learn in peace ... I can't see the reason why it wouldn't work… How soon can you move in?"

"Not to seem too desperate or anything… but would it be alright if I moved in tonight?” Niko really didn’t want to spend another night with that creepy guy.

"It's OK, I think." Kamil nodded, a little surprised as he had not expected him to want to move so fast.

"Thank you! Um…so I just, I get my stuff here and... I'll come back then? I know this is sudden and must feel weird but thank you again, you're a lifesaver."

"No problem, in fact you're a lifesaver, too ... I really need money ..." Kamil suppressed the urge to slap his head again.

“So I pay you this first month today then and like I said, I return soon with my bags. Deal?" Niko offered his hand again.

"Deal," Kamil shook the offered hand, noticing it's warm and not at all damp; he couldn't stand people with damp, cold hands. "Bring your stuff and move in ... flat mate," he grinned, feeling very much relieved. Now he would be able to pay some of the bills he had this month. He had been ill and doctor's bills took half of his money, plus he couldn't go to work ... Niko was a God's gift to him right then.

"Okay see you in a few hours, flat mate!"

**^^**^^**^^**^^**

Kamil cleaned the room for his flat mate quickly, after all he had said to be somewhat of a cleaning freak and he would appreciate if his room weren’t covered with a centimeter worth of dust. The guy really did seem to be decent, Kamil just hoped that he wouldn’t bring his girlfriends over or if he did, he would keep quiet.

It was less than a three hours later when Niko already returned with heavy luggage. Kamil wondered how he had been able to carry all those huge bags by himself.

"Need a hand with those?" He asked pointing at the bags Niko was carrying.

"Thank you, help would be appreciated," Niko smiled, struggling not to drop anything. Kamil took two bags that seemed to be ready to fall from Niko’s hands.

“You’ve cleaned?” Niko asked as they walked into his new room that certainly looked better than the few hours earlier, plus it smelled better, too.

"Yeah," Kamil nodded and placed the bags on the clean floor. “Do you need a blanket or something for the bed?"

"Thank you for cleaning,” The other boy smiled sincerely. “Oh and no need for a blanket, I have one that I brought with me from home, I like to carry it with me, you know, it smells so homely," Niko explained while taking the said blanket out from one of the bigger bags.

"Ok," Kamil nodded; smells of home ... He wished that he would have something like that from home, but he came there with so few possessions, he didn't know what it would be like living in Colorado. He had taken some clothes and toiletries and ... well, not much more, as he had thought that he would be living on campus, but it turned out I didn't and ... well ...

Kamil watched as Niko started unpacking his things and arranging them. He took out an old teddy bear, missing one eye, then he looked at Kamil, grinning sheepishly. “Also from home, my teddy,” he told him. “My teddy, childish ain't it? I've had it since I was 2 years old."

But Kamil could understand him well, he had had such a teddy for a long time, but he had left it at home. "Teddy is ok," he gave him a small smile. "I hope you'll feel here at home," he told him and walked out from the room, it was time to start preparing supper as it was getting quite late.


Kamil decided to prepare some easily made soup, making enough for two. He wanted to be a good host. He smiled when hearing the other boy quietly singing to himself, while arranging his room. Soon enough he heard the sound of his foot steps nearing the kitchen and Kamil turned to look at him.

"Will you have supper with me?" He asked.

"Yes I'd like it very much, thank you, I am feeling a bit hungry."

"Ok, it should be ready in ..." he checked the time, "thirty minutes or so."

"So... would you mind if I use the bathtub while waiting?" Niko asked, “I’m feeling a bit sweaty.”

"Go ahead," Kamil nodded his head, stirring the soup as he added two spoons of rice to make it thicker. "It's even better if you use it now."

"Thank you," Niko smiled and padded to the bathroom to make the bath ready, then he walked to his room to get a towel, shampoo, hair conditioner and shower gel. He locked himself in the bathroom, checking to see the water’s temperature with his hand, before stripping and getting in.

Kamil continued cooking the soup, wondering if Niko was even going to like it, it was a typically Polish tomato soup and if one wasn’t acquainted with it, it might taste strange. He heard the sound of the water running in the bathroom and found it strange; until now he had been alone in this flat and now ... a flat mate. He wondered what this boy was really like. He heard the humming from the bathroom, water splashing, so he was a shower singer? Kamil shook his head with a smile lingering on his lips. God, it really was strange having someone in the flat with him, not unpleasant, just… strange.

Kamil was tasting the hot soup, checking if it was alright when Niko came out of the bathroom, parading only in a towel.

“Is the soup ready?” Kamil scalded his lips with the hot soup and for a moment he waved his hand, trying to make cooler air repair the damage. Then when the pain was gone, he announced,
"Yes, I'll be serving it in a moment, just go and dress yourself."

"Haha, I will, so you're not into eating supper with a half naked guy?" Niko teased him. "I’ll go and dress," he told him quickly after and almost fled into his room. Kamil looked after him; that was strange, he really would have to get used it, he just hoped that Niko wouldn’t make a habit out of parading around half nude….

He poured the soup onto the plates, at the same time thinking what Niko had told him. That he wasn’t into eating supper with half naked guys ... Niko would be surprised if he told him he was actually gay ... but this was something that one wouldn’t go announcing just like that. Besides, the years in his country taught him that it was not something that everyone was going to accept without problems. Kamil wondered if he should tell him about his preferences ... but no, Niko would probably escape and he couldn't let such a good occasion go to waste, after all, Niko really did seem ok, he could have found a far worse flatmate. His musings were interrupted by Niko coming into the kitchen, this time dressed in sweatpants and t-shirt. "You're right on time, soup is already waiting, I just hope you will like it ... or at least eat it ... err ... it's typically Polish so ...I won't be very much surprised if you say it's horrible. If you need to add something, salt, pepper, whatever ... you're welcome to it." Kamil placed the said things on the table, sitting on the chair and starting to eat.

Niko looked at the soup on his plate.

"Do you have ketchup? Oh and perhaps some cheese?" he asked and this caused Kamil to open his eyes wider. This ... this was tomato soup! It already had ketchup in it! "Sh... sure," He tried not to show how surprised he was. "I have ketchup though not cheese, sorry." He stood up, took out the bottle with ketchup from the fridge and put it on the table, in front of Niko. Then he sat down again and resumed eating, trying not to stare at Niko.

The boy smiled, took the ketchup and squeezed some in the soup. He loved ketchup, if someone asked him, he’d say there could never be such a thing as too much ketchup, plus in this case it would cool down the soup somewhat. He mixed the soup, smelling it. It was a shame that Kamil didn’t have any cheese. He tasted it then… and it was…. Well… weird. He looked at the soup more closely seeing bits of meat and some rice… meat and tomato soup? He thought it was weird. He tasted it again, determined to eat, because if he didn’t, he might hurt Kamil’s feelings and that he didn’t want. "I could go to the store tomorrow, do you need anything?" He said as he continued to slowly eat the soup, trying to avoid the meat pieces.

Kamil watched Niko, it seemed that he saw something strange in the soup, but he had expected this all along."You ... could buy a few things, I suppose. Not liking this soup very much, I see."

"Ah it's... it's good." Niko smiled and took another spoonful to prove his point.

"Liar." Kamil snorted and saw as the other blushed slightly.

"Um yeah... it's different at least," Niko chuckled.

"Well, that's the only way I make tomato soup so ... if you want, you may make some sandwiches, there is still some bread and ... jam," He also blushed. He had been so out of money that he had been eating bread and jam for the last week, plus some soups that didn't need much in them.

“Okay thank you... I- I could take some bread."Niko felt silly, and ungrateful and he truly feared that he might have hurt Kamil’s feelings for not liking his soup. He prepared himself a couple of jam sandwiches and sat down again. "So... you could write down what you need and I buy them tomorrow."

"I will do that, later," Kamil waved his hand, noticing that Niko looked uncomfortable, it might because of his soup offer. "Hey, don't feel bad about this soup, I said I understand if you don't like it. Probably if you made something Finnish I would also have difficulty in swallowing it. Tomorrow I will try to prepare something more ... international."

“Okay, a deal, and I'll clean up the bathroom tomorrow." Niko felt lucky to have found such a nice roommate. "I feel like having some tea, how about you?"

"Would be nice," Kamil finished his soup and washed his plate. "The mugs and tea are in that cupboard," he pointed with his finger and left for the bathroom.

"Tea ready?" Kamil asked when returning.

"Yes it is, here" Niko handed the cup to him. "I didn't know if you use milk or sugar so... Um…" Niko told him, tasting his own tea. “So what made you come here to study?”
"God, no milk with tea, that's ..." Kamil almost gagged. "Only sugar and lemon. Um, I got a scholarship and knew it was the only chance for me to get really good education so ..." he shrugged his shoulders as he took the mug with the tea and put two teaspoons of sugar into it. Sadly, he had no lemon ... but he would get lemons tomorrow. "And you?"

"I can't imagine tea without milk," Niko chuckled. "Um, as for me? I wanted to see what else is out there, and I wanted to get way from my mom's wings, so what a better chance to do that then to go over the sea to study?... Well to be honest I would have preferred to go to England, or Ireland...but here I am. And well it's a beautiful city, just some people that irk the hell out of me." He grinned at Kamil.

"Oh, yeah, they are soo ... would you believe what they told me the first thing I came here?" Kamil shook his head remembering that scene. "That all Poles are idiots. And it turns out that at the moment I am the top student in my year," he muttered, sipping the tea.

"They did? The bastards...Well… I am constantly being called; the Swedish kid," Niko rolled his eyes. "And apparently our people like incest, don't ask, I don't know where they get that." He laughed, Kamil joined him.

"Oh my God, incest? That's the first time I actually ... I mean, really? Do they think that Finns ..." He snorted again with laughter, then added with a bit calmer voice, "Um, we're thieves, too, not only idiots. Imagine, idiotic thieves."

"Oh God they are soo stupid! Oh and get this, one actually though we have polar bears roaming around!" Niko laughed with him.

Kamil snorted again, this time louder, "Wait for this, one asked me if Poland was in Russia!"

That’s when Niko started to laugh even more "One asked me…” he tried to breath…” if it's true, that we mostly drink vodka and sit around talking about how..." he wiped tears from his eyes, "...how to kill ourselves!"

"Hahaha, geez, they're so ignorant, too. One person asked me if I ever saw potatoes. I mean, man, we eat potatoes with every dinner, so I made big eyes and he thought it was because I didn't!"

“Maybe they thought you come from Japan?” Niko was laughing so hard that he almost fell onto the floor. "Oh God, they don't even know how they make us laugh with their ignorance!"

"Yes, it's kind of ... evil that we laugh at them and at the same time ... study and live here," Kamil gave Niko a smile. "Don't you think?"

"Oh well they deserve it, that's what I say, what goes around comes around." Niko smiled back.
"Well in all truth not all of them are stupid, some are really nice and smart, for them, I do feel bad about joking, but on the other hand many of them would join our laughter, they actually have a sense of humour too and self irony, at least some do."

"Yes, and I appreciate their ... independence and self-reliance, it's so different from my country," Kamil checked the time on the clock, seeing it's already past seven; he still had to study for tomorrow's test. The professor they had was ruthless and if he failed it, he would have a lot more to learn for the make up session. Not that he was a poor student, but he wanted his grades to be as perfect as he could get them. "Ok, I have to go and learn now, you're welcome to do anything ... that doesn’t cause too much noise."

"Do you have an Internet connection here?" Niko asked with hope.

"Nope, sorry, not at the moment. If you want a connection, you have to talk to the landlord tomorrow."

"Oh okay, I think I will, I'm a computer and Internet whore you see," Niko laughed, "okay I go read some book in my room, I'll be quiet as a mouse, you won't even notice I'm here," he smiled and walked towards his room.

"Thanks. What do you study?" Kamil ask, suddenly curious.

"I study... arts actually, surprised you huh? And you?"

"Economy ..." Kamil smirked; so they couldn't be farther apart with their studies.

"Cool," Niko nodded his head.

"I guess, but not so cool when we have finals, last year was hell," Kamil smiled. "OK, see you tomorrow," he said and got inside his room where he had a small desk, a bookcase and a bed, and a chest of drawers with all his clothes, not many of them, too.

Niko walked into his room, took his sketch book, to work a bit before going to bed, he felt sleepy quite fast after a long and quite eventful day. He had never moved quite so fast in his life. He felt comfortable though, quite sure in his mind that this had been the right choice.

**^^**^^**^^**^^**

The next day, after Niko got home from school, he went to the grocery store to but what they both needed. After the shopping, he decided to talk to the landlord about the Internet connection. The man told him it could be connected as soon as he got the first payment.

He got inside and decided to treat himself with some cucumber and mustard he had bought. He cut the cucumber into pieces, took the jar of mustard and settled himself at the table with the treat and a Donald Duck comic book.

When Kamil came home, he was surprised to find Niko in the kitchen eating… cucumber and mustard? He seriously hadn’t seen anyone eating something like that! “Do you…” He started, but bit his own tongue.

Niko looked up and smiled, he saw the look in Kamil’s eyes; he was weirded by his little snack, but that was nothing new really. It was good and people just didn’t know what they were missing.

"Hello, want to try?" Niko grinned at him, gesturing towards his snack.

"Is this something ... Finnish?" Kamil asked him suspiciously, not reaching towards the 'treat'.

Niko laughed.

"No, rest of our people, as far as I know, do not know anything about this treat, which is a shame really, I think more should try it. So... go on, I dare you to taste.”

Kamil picked one piece of a cucumber and dipped it in mustard, then put it in his mouth. It was a big mistake, he tried to swallow as fast as he could, without even chewing, which was another big mistake because the piece got stuck in his throat for a second, almost choking him. Finally it agreed to go down but his eyes were tearing now.

"Thanks Niko but I say 'pass' to your treat. Oh, it's sandwiches for supper today."

For a moment there Niko had thought that he'd have to safe his new flat mate from choking, but he was glad that it hadn’t come to that; he could have seen the headlines; Finnish killed Polish student with a cucumber... That would not have been good.

"Sandwiches, cool... can we have ketchup and cheese sandwiches? They are soo good, what a shame that they don't have rye bread here."

"I know, all they have is this sponge-like something that pretends to be bread," Kamil nodded as he took the pieces of bread out, cheese and Niko's s favorite ketchup. Kamil thought that if he added ketchup to everything, Niko should be quite satisfied with his cooking. "Could you make us tea?" He asked him as he prepared the sandwiches.

"Yes of course," Niko smiled and stood up, "I asked my mom to send me some rye bread from home, I wonder if she will, and if the bread is still good when it gets here, silly maybe, I think there are easier ways to get it but... I miss bread from home." Again he was just blabbering. He took the kettle and boiled the water. Taking two cups and some tea. "I bought lemon too, maybe I should try tea with fresh lemon I have never had it before,"
"Try it," Kamil nodded his head as he spread butter on the sandwiches, then put the slices of cheese on them and then spread a layer of ketchup on those for Niko. He’d have the no-ketchup ones, he wasn’t that big fan of ketchup, thank you. "I wish I had the bread my mom bought in our local bakery," he informed Niko. "It was so tasty."
Niko watched him doing the sandwiches, he obviously hadn’t done ketchup sandwiches before; one was supposed to add the ketchup first, no butter and the cheese on top, but he didn’t really want to correct him now, it was fine, it had ketchup and it had cheese, he’d try it this way.
"What kind was it?" Niko asked him, taking the sandwich that he gave to him. "The bread I mean," He moved to sit in front of the table.

"Rye bread, too," Kamil smiled, seeing him starting to eat, "With sunflower seeds in it." He added and took a bite of his own sandwich; he hadn't noticed how good the bread with hot tea is ... or maybe it seemed so good because lately he hadn't eaten anything else apart from bread? And had gotten used to it? "So what're you doing tomorrow?" he asked him, curious. It would be Saturday and he wanted to plan his day.

"Hm... tomorrow..." Niko thought about it. "There is this party that I was invited to, so I guess I’ll go there tomorrow evening and at day I think I’ll paint a little. How about you?"

"Sleep!" Kamil laughed. "Then maybe some lazying about, maybe cinema? And a good book in bed! And absolutely no learning for a whole day!"

"Ah sleep, yes I plan to sleep in late tomorrow, too...” Niko nodded and then looked at Kamil with curiosity. “You know... you could maybe try the party? I guess there will be a lot of people coming there, people who… well… drink." After he had said it, he wondered if it had been a good idea to invite Kamil, because knowing himself, when he drank, he often became quite… hm… well he would flirt, apparently a lot, that might not be good…

"Ugh, I don't know ... I need to get up early on Sunday ..." Kamil said, he usually tried avoiding parties at all cost and now he tried not to be too obvious about wanting to avoid the party. There would be those totally strange people, all drinking - and BABBLING later. Somehow he seemed to attract drunkards so he could bet there would be at least one all over him ... "I'd rather not go." He said indecisively.

"Oh, okay, maybe some other time then," Niko smiled. "So, what's you family like?" He decided to change the subject.

"They're ok, a normal family," Kamil shrugged his shoulders. "Yours?"

"Well okay, my mom almost had a stroke when I said I move here to study, she thinks I'll end up murdered or robbed or something, she's way overprotective."
"Mine cried for a week when I got this scholarship," Kamil nodded as he sat more comfortably, stretching his legs as far as he could.

"Moms," Niko smiled and got up after eating. "I think I'll go clean the bathroom now." He told him. "So if you need to go, go now."

"I'll wait until it's clean and shiny," Kamil teased. Niko rolled his eyes and smiled.

"Your choice," He went to change his clothes, collecting the cleaning stuff he had bought and went into the bathroom.

Kamil smiled to himself; the guy must be obsessed with cleanliness! He went to his room and switched on the CD player, choosing the song he had been obsessing about as of late; 'Primo Victoria' by Sabaton and he couldn’t get enough of it so he put it on repeat mode and took a book from the bookcase to entertain himself with. The song started to play and he sang along with the singer, though he tried to keep his voice down.

As Niko cleaned he suddenly heard the music from Kamil’s room. He listened; sounding like some rock his ex had been obsessing about... This was some… song about… war? Not his favorite music really, for one… it reminded too much of… well… his ex… and… then he listened more… it wasn’t so bad after all, it was actually kind of good. But then it started playing on repeat, over and over again. Oh God it was annoying the hell out of him after hearing it about 6 times in a row. He got it; Kamil loved this song, but honestly wasn’t there any other song he could listen to? He cleaned, scrubbed almost knowing the words by heart by then. Finally the whole bathroom was sparkling clean. Then he took a quick shower; feeling sweaty all over after cleaning.


Kamil sang quietly, lying on his side on the bed, his right foot rubbing against the surface of the bed. The book he was reading was really entertaining. The world seemed perfect, what else could he want? Hmm … a boyfriend would be nice, but he had no time for dates, he was really too busy for dating.

Niko went into his room, really wanting to scream, how many times would Kamil play this song??? But he couldn’t bring himself to go shouting at his new flat mate yet, he would swallow up and suffer… or… he thought of a better plan, took his headphones and started listening his own favorite music from his computer while working with some sketches.

**^^**^^**^^**^^**

Saturday was a lazy day for the both of them, they slept till noon. Niko painted in the afternoon and he showed Kamil few of his paintings; seeing them along with a few sketches made Kamil want to take out his own sketch book and draw some as well, he had enjoyed art classes in high school. Then they had eaten dinner together; chicken soup where Niko had added ketchup; it still was weird to Kamil and he wondered if the other boy could ever be taught to get rid of his addiction to ketchup.

After dinner Niko had gotten himself ready for the party, it had not gotten past Kamil how good Niko had looked. After he had left, Kamil had concentrated on reading and finally went to bed early.

Niko had the time of his life tasting so many new and interesting drinks that he had never heard of before. And he had met tons of new people, especially Matthew; ‘Call me Matt,’

It had seemed like a good idea at the party, and now it still seemed like a great idea: to bring Matt home with him. Niko giggled as they walked up the stairs, giggled at the feeling of the guy’s hand on his butt; groping him.

His hands trembled as he tried to find his keys. Matt was firmly pressed behind him, kissing his neck like there was no tomorrow.

“Shhh…we must be quiet.” Niko told him. “My mate room is sleeeepy… hihi room mate! … quiet… shh…” He stumbled in Matt after him, in the dark he managed to hit his arm, “Vittu! Samperi!”He cursed and giggled after. “I think we have beer, let’s get beeer.” He managed to find his way into the kitchen and to the fridge. Matt slapped his butt and he squealed out loud like a woman. “Stop it,” he scolded the other with an amused tone, handing the beer to him, which Matt opened with his teeth, grinning at him.


Kamil was woken by the strange sounds; he didn’t know what time it was. He tried to think what was going on, robbers? Then he heard giggles and a squeal, what on earth was happening? He decided to go and check; what if it really was a robber? What could a robber want to steal from him anyway? He walked outside his room, wearing only his gray sleeping pants and a tank top, might not be the best outfit should he encounter some robbers. He saw the light in the kitchen, went there and saw Niko, totally drunk and with some other guy! And… the guy’s hand was… on Niko’s butt!
“Niko?” He asked, “What are you doing, it’s…” Kamil checked the time, “it’s 3 am!”

Niko stared at Kamil, while the other guy was gently nibbling on his neck. Kamil looked hot, he was surrounded by hot looking men. “We party… beer, see?” Noko announced happily lifting the bottle up for Kamil to see… Matt was really groping his butt now, which made him giggle out loud once more. He stumbled a little, taking support from the counter. "You can join us… is gooood," He spluttered, almost about to go and search for a bottle for Kamil as well, the fridge however seemed to be evil and moved away from his hands. “Hmh, straaange…” He noted out loud, looking at the evil fridge.

Kamil stared at the odd pair in his kitchen. Niko was really, really drunk and Kamil didn’t like the situation very much…

"Niko, you've had enough," he told him, not really believing that it would work that easily.

“Show me your room Nikolasss,” Matt murmured in Niko’s ear, “drink it up and show me your room.” Another slap on Niko’s butt, who laughed in return. Niko looked at Kamil, thinking that this wasn’t very proper, some part of him was screaming at him in the back of his mind; screaming how stuid he was acting at the moment, but he was just too drunk to listen to this slowly fading voice of reason. Kamil was looking quite pretty and confused in his eyes and he freed himself from Matt’s hold.

“Not enough,” He told them and took a sip of his beer, “Aaah,” he sighed happily and then, at the strange feeling he looked down and saw a hand rubbing on his front, his crotch in fact. Again he giggled moving away. "Is not proper..." He spluttered again, taking support from where he could reach. "Let’s go to bed..." Matt whined next to him.

Kamil was still in shock of what he was witnessing. Was Niko…? Gay?? But whatever the answer was; he was really drunk and the guy, the stranger was just too forward and…

“Listen, man,” Kamil tried to speak to the stranger. “It was nice of you to walk Niko home, but now… could you go home, too?” Kamil didn’t know how to deal with such situations.

“Nooo… I don’t want to, he invited me, I’m gonna stay,” The stranger told him, pulling Niko towards him, to kiss him straight on the lips.

"Ah, whatever," Kamil waved his hand, he didn’t really want to deal with this, he was obviously not getting through to either of them. He got inside his room, took his CD player and earphones and switched the music on. He was quite sure what was going to happen in the next room, judging by what went on in the kitchen… It felt weird, after all he was gay and apparently, so was Niko. And there Niko was, with the guy he had brought over, with an intention to… sleep with him… and they would be… only a few meters away. Then it felt worse than just weird, it felt awkward like hell. He turned the music up, wanting to muffle any sounds that might come from Niko’s room. He fell asleep with his earphones on.

CHAPTER 2.  Becoming Friends

Niko watched as Kamil left the kitchen, for some reason disappointed with the fact that he gave up so easily. He looked at Matt who smiled at him expectantly.

“Let’s go fuck now?” he asked crudely, and Niko, in his intoxicated state, just nodded his head, agreeing and then trying to show Matt the way into his room. Getting there with Matt in tow, Niko stumbled onto the bed and Matt followed him immediately, falling on top of him and almost smothering him with his weigh. He lifted himself a bit from the drunk Finn and then started to undress him hurriedly and without any consideration for Niko’s comfort.

“I don’t always give out on first meeting, am no slut,” Niko tried to explain as he felt Matt’s wet kisses on his face, then trailing down onto his chest.

“Yes baby, I know ...” Matt assured though his voice clearly indicated he didn’t care much.

Niko noticed, but just barely that Matt’s clothes seemed to vanish at some point in time and that he was flipped onto his stomach and roughly prepared. “Condom, use one ...” he then muttered; drunk or not, he always remembered about protection. He felt sleepy, so sleepy that the next thing he registered was the feeling of Matt inside him as he was penetrated. Then he noticed he was lying on his back, with his legs over Matt’s shoulders and he didn’t even know when Matt changed the position. He felt tired and he hoped this all was going to be over soon, wanting to just fall asleep. He heard Matt grunt and felt him sweat, the room dancing in Niko’s eyes and the noises Matt made sounding weird in his ears. Matt came quite fast, without even checking if Niko also did; Niko didn’t. When everything was over Matt lay heavily on Niko and he moved only when Niko urged him to, wanting just to go to sleep.

*P*P*

The next morning was not the most pleasant in Niko’s life; there were mornings far worse than this, when he didn’t want to get up but this … he groaned, feeling his head throb with a splitting pain, tried to lift it a bit and then groaned again, failing spectacularly. He felt as if run over by a speeding truck and he didn’t wish this feeling to even his most bitter enemies. He tried the second time, opening his eyes carefully and noticing that someone was lying next to him. And this someone – judging by the feel of it – was naked. Plus, Niko’s ass felt sore and …

Nooo! Not again … No, God … he did it again …

Turning around, Niko noticed the used condom lying on the floor, a silent witness to what happened last night. Then it all came back to him, the party, the many drinks he tasted, returning home … And then the most terrifying memory flashed in his mind, the one of behaving like a slut, in front of Kamil, no less! He … saw what they were doing in the kitchen, there was no way he would misunderstand …

Oh, fuck … Niko really wanted to die at that moment realizing that he probably royally fucked up everything; he could just as well pack his things and start looking for a new place to live, there was no way a straight guy, even as nice as Kamil, would like to live with a gay flat mate!

“Morning,” he felt the bed shift behind him and turned around just to see his … guest who boldly took Niko’s hand and guided it to his own morning hard on, then moved it over the erection, massaging it a little. “Ready for another go?”

“I have things to do,” Niko responded, taking his hand away quickly and then getting out of bed. He noticed his own state of undress and reached for the pair of boxers that were lying on the floor next to the bed. The boxers were from the last night and definitely not fresh but he wanted to cover himself. Then, even though it made him slightly nauseous, he picked up the disgusting thing from the floor and threw it into the bin that stood next to his desk.

“Maybe some other time then, give a call,” his guest told him as he stretched; Niko watched his muscular chest which made the guy smile. Then he finally got out of Niko’s bed as well, put on his clothes and left the room.

Finally, Niko thought with exasperation; he was sure the guy was never going to leave. He took out some fresh clothes from his wardrobe and decided he badly needed a shower. He truly felt like shit, his head pounding with the mother of all hangovers. After he had finished showering and was drying up, he heard the front door open and close and for a moment he thought it was his night guest, returning for some reason or other … then he heard the person going to the other room and leaving it a moment later, going into the kitchen. This had to be Kamil …

Niko felt a spike of fear; he knew he had to face Kamil sooner or later but he would prefer later …

*P*P*

Kamil woke up in not the best of moods; he noticed a CD player lying on the pillow next to him. Checking it he discovered the player switched off by itself at some point during the night. He put it away on the shelf that hung over the desk, with the small collection of his CDs. Then he remembered Niko bringing a stranger home, at three in the morning. And he was apparently going to … have sex with the guy.

Kamil sighed; he’d have to talk to Niko, about bringing strangers home. It wasn’t as if Kamil minded, he’d just prefer Niko to be more … discreet in the future. The whole situation made him feel extremely awkward, he really wasn’t accustomed to having strangers grope … whomever in his kitchen.

The fact that Niko was gay himself was a great surprise, too. Kamil didn’t expect his flat mate to have the same … preference as he did but he did catch the difference between them. While he himself grew up in a country where being gay was perceived as mortal sin, Niko must have come from a totally different environment; his openness in the matters of sex was clearly noticeable. Not that he was a slut, Kamil didn’t think of him as such … but he himself would never be this open or forward … years of living in the proverbial closet were hard to overcome, so hard that after two years of living in America none of his classmates knew he was gay. He never denied being gay but he never advertised the fact that he was one and no one really suspected him of ‘playing for the other team’ …

Kamil sighed again as he got up; he didn’t look forward to the conversation with Niko, he’d like to avoid it, he was sure it would feel awkward for the both of them. Plus, he was sure Niko was going to have a bitch of a hangover … he went to the bathroom, took a quick shower (which wasn’t a very pleasant experience, having showers in the tub never is) and returned to his room, putting on his Sunday clothes and deciding he could go to church that day. He came from a Catholic country, from a Catholic family and even if the Catholic church didn’t exactly liked gays, Kamil still felt the need to attend the church service every once in a while. He wasn’t too religious but deeply ingrained habits die hard. He left the flat quietly, hoping that the stranger would be gone when he returned.

Returning from the church Kamil left his jacket in his room and then went to the kitchen to prepare some breakfast for himself and Niko, though he doubted Niko would be able to swallow something solid this morning, not after being that drunk. Or maybe he would? ‘He did say he drinks,’ Kamil mused for a while when boiling water for coffee and then brewing a cup of it for himself. Maybe he was accustomed to the after effects of drinking?

*P*P*

Niko entered the kitchen, immediately noticing the neat clothes Kamil was wearing; this only made him feel more embarrassed with his behavior last night. To him it looked as if Kamil had prepared himself for an official ‘You’re gay so get lost’ speech … Niko blushed hard, feeling a wave of shame but it didn’t escape his attention that Kamil was blushing, too.

“Hmmm … w-want coffee?” Niko’s flat mate asked, sounding shy for some reason. This alone made Niko feel a little more confident; maybe he would be able to talk Kamil out of kicking him from the flat?

“Sure,” he answered, nodding his head carefully because the pounding in his skull didn’t go away. He wasn’t sure what else he should say to Kamil; should he apologize and say it would never happen? But Niko knew he couldn’t promise that it would never happen again; he liked partying, he liked drinking and when drinking … It always seemed like a good idea, and he suspected it had a lot to do with not having a boyfriend, but ... this was not the way, he could tell it. In fact he felt like shit after the last night and the sex wasn’t even a very satisfying experience … “Um ... would you happen to have ... um ... painkillers? Um, for my head?”

“Only some aspirin,” Kamil nodded his head and pointed to the cupboard where he kept his meds and first aid kit.

Niko opened it and took out the painkillers, then took one pill and swallowed, drinking some cold water. Then Kamil asked the question Niko was so dreading. “Niko … can we talk?”

Niko instantly felt a cold shiver of fear. “Yeah,” he answered quietly. Eeep, he was going to get an earful now …

“Hm ...” Niko could see this was not easy for Kamil; he started to prepare the coffee for Niko but he managed to spill some of it on the counter. “You’re an adult and … I’m an adult …” he stammered nervously. If Niko didn’t feel nervous himself, he would smirk. “... It’s ok if you bring someone over ... but I would appreciate if you kept it ... down, a bit.”

“Um ... I’m sorry about last night ... it was ... stupid ...” Niko swallowed and nodded his head slightly.

“Won’t happen again,” he spluttered, then glanced at Kamil quickly, eyes on his neat clothes ... ‘Oh God,’ he groaned in his thoughts, ‘what he must think of me now ... he’s smart and neat and ... I bring strangers home drunk ...’

“I didn’t tell you ... not to bring anyone ... just ... keep it down ...” Kamil stammered further, as he finished preparing the coffee. Then he handed Niko the mug. “Here, let’s hope it’ll help some.”

“Thank you,” Niko answered gratefully, taking the coffee and sipping it slowly, hope returning to him again. He even managed to smile a bit, his lips twitching. “Were you out somewhere?” he asked, looking at Kamil’s clothes again, hoping to bring the conversation back to normal.

“Yeah, in church,” Kamil responded, taking a slow sip of his own coffee, “I sometimes go to church. You know, Poles are Catholics so ... it’s like my second nature sometimes. But I’m not too religious,” he laughed a little.

Niko felt as if he had a heart attack when he heard the word ‘Catholic’. For him it couldn’t get any worse, he heard that Catholics with their religiousness are strongly against homosexuals. He was living with a Catholic school boy who just last night witnessed how he ... Oh, he was the PROMISCIOUS GAY, noo ... he almost tuned out the rest of what Kamil said, too busy trying not to faint. It was a miracle that Kamil didn’t throw him out of the flat last night! He took a sudden breath, accidentally inhaling some coffee with it and started coughing.

“Hey, do be careful!” Kamil patted him on his back. “Imagine the headlines, ‘Lethal coffee prepared by a Polish student kills a Finn’,” he chuckled.

Niko coughed some more and it finally helped, he could breathe normally. He looked at Kamil sheepishly. “So … um … I think I’ll ... go sleep more, uh ...” he stood there a little awkwardly and then decided to flee to his room, leaving Kamil alone in the kitchen.

Kamil snorted, seeing his flat mate almost running into his room. Niko took it better than he had expected it; if ever Niko caught him red handed like that, Kamil was sure he wouldn’t be able to look him in the eye for at least a week.

*P*P*

Monday morning found Kamil in a much better mood, even if this was the beginning of another week of school and work. Monday was not such a bad day, either; Kamil started his classes late and didn’t have to go to work so he could actually learn more. It was Tuesday that he called the day from hell, with classes starting early in the morning and then an afternoon of work in the bar. Kamil got up and went to the bathroom to take care of all the morning business; then dressed only in his favorite gray drawstring sweatpants (all his T shirts were dirty and he really needed to do the laundry) he went to the kitchen to prepare breakfast for himself and his flat mate.

While he stood in front of the fridge, trying to think of something that Niko would deem edible he went back to the happenings of the last day. Niko spent almost all day in his room, hiding from him, most probably. Kamil decided he could make scrambled eggs; this seemed international enough for Niko to stomach. He took out a few eggs and got everything ready.

The discovery that Niko was gay, just like he himself was, didn’t change a thing for Kamil. They were flat mates and this worked well so far. Why would the fact that Niko was gay change anything? They were too different from each other, Niko being an artist and a good one, judging by the pictures he showed Kamil on Saturday. Those pictures made Kamil envious a bit; he loved drawing and in the past used to dream about becoming a painter, or a comic creator. Those were silly dreams; who could support themselves by painting in his country? That’s why he chose to study Economy. He was always very good at Maths and logic and everyone told him he was bright and hard working. When he won the scholarship in America, he didn’t hesitate one minute. This was a chance of a lifetime for him as his parents were too poor to help him with the studies in Poland.

Everything ready, Kamil started preparing breakfast; he heated some butter and then cracked the eggs into the frying pan, starting to stir them, not to let them burn. He hoped Niko would eat them normally, WITHOUT ketchup, that is. Thinking of ketchup scrambled eggs made Kamil slightly sick … those two colors, red and yellow just didn’t look too well when on the plate.

*P*P*

Waking up to the sound of the alarm clock was not what Niko wanted to do that morning. He still felt somewhat bad, physically and most importantly – morally. He was ashamed of what he had done and if he could, he would avoid facing Kamil today … or better yet, for the rest of the week … he cursed his own stupidity; why did he sleep with that guy? And why did he even bring him home in the first place?! If he could, he would kick himself hard … He got up and slowly made his way into the bathroom where he emptied his bladder and took a bath, then he returned to his room where he put on fresh clothes and dried his hair as best as he could. He felt his stomach growl so he decided to check if there was anything edible in the kitchen.

The eggs were sizzling happily in the frying pan when Niko entered the kitchen following the delicious smell of food, fully dressed, with his hair still a little damp from the shower he had taken a couple of minutes earlier. He opened his mouth to say ‘Morning’ or whatever there could be said in the morning … and remained like this, staring with his eyes wide open at the sight in front of him.

Up until now he only saw Kamil in shirts, sweatshirts and sweaters that thoroughly hid his body from the plain view but now he was standing there shirtless …

‘OH MY GOD!’ he ogled the well toned chest, not too muscular, noticing a slight trail of dark hair going down to ... ‘Oh, he looks ... gorgeous!’ Niko forgot to breathe for a moment. And he was trying desperately to tear his curious eyes from the naked torso in front of him. He moistened his lips that suddenly felt dry and stood there like some idiot. ‘Noo, Niko, look away! AWAYY ... Now, stop staring! NOW!’

“Morning,” Kamil flashed him a smile when he noticed his flat mate standing at the door, then he returned to the scrambled eggs. Niko wondered if he looked as flushed as he felt. He also noticed Kamil’s good mood; it was as if his Polish flat mate was trying to keep a grin at bay. “Scrambled eggs,” he informed Niko and invited him to the table with a hand gesture. Niko sat down and after a minute he was served a plate of deliciously smelling scrambled eggs. “Just ... please, don’t add ketchup to it ...” Kamil asked him.

“Huh?” Niko managed to finally stop gaping at the naked chest AND the trail of hair and he heard Kamil say something about … eggs?

“Eat,” Kamil said with a bright smile, then sat down on the second chair and started shoveling scrambled eggs into his mouth as if he hadn’t seen food for weeks.

Sitting on the opposite seat to Kamil’s, Niko felt like an idiot. He tried to focus on eating but was constantly stealing glances of his flat mate. ‘I am going straight to hell, aren’t I?’ he thought glumly. ‘Here I am lusting after this good Catholic school boy ... me the gay slut ... SLUT!’ his mind screamed as he kept playing with the food on his plate. He REALLY didn’t want to face anyone right now and he wondered how many people there were at the party. How many witnessed his … behavior?? And was he going to be labeled ... well ... the foreigner weirdo who likes to ... He wanted to hit his head against the table. ‘Okay just eat!’ he reminded himself and started eating absently, his mind filled with million questions.

He was thrown out of his reverie by Kamil standing up, going to the fridge and taking out a bottle of ketchup, then putting it in front of him. “Hope it will taste you better with ketchup.”

Niko almost opened his mouth, surprised by this. What? Oh ketchup, indeed, he took the bottle and poured some on the eggs. With a deep sigh he continued eating, the ketchup looking weird on the eggs but he guessed everything would mix up in his stomach anyway … He briefly wondered if one could eat too much ketchup and what it would be like ... to use ketchup instead of mustard on the cucumber and took a mental note to himself to try it later.
After he had finished he stood up and cleaned his plate.

“Thank you for breakfast,” he told Kamil and went to his room to collect his school stuff, trying not to look at his flat mate again. And not to think about him, either. And failing, as Kamil’s well-built body was still very much on his mind.

As he was preparing things for his classes, he heard a light knock at the door to his room. “Um, yeah?” he asked.

“Your laptop’s working now?” Kamil opened the door a little and pushed his head inside; Niko saw as he looked around curiously and wondered if his flat mate liked what he saw.

“Yes, it is actually,” he nodded his head, still feeling embarrassed and hoping he would get over it soon.
“Could I ...” Kamil hesitated and Niko noticed that at the moment his flat mate didn’t look too sure of himself, as if he was also ashamed of something. “... use it? I need to check some information and ...” he stopped again.

“Oh, yes, sure you can, no problem, let me just pop it on for you.” ‘Okay, hold on there, POP it on? Where did you learn English, Niko? POP IT ON???’ Niko rolled his eyes mentally. “Uh, I mean turn it on,” he quickly corrected himself, thinking that now he sounded even more silly. He nervously flipped the laptop on his desk, opened and turned it on, with his back towards Kamil. In his head he still heard himself, repeating his silly choice of words.

“Hmmm, Niko, could you give me a quick lesson how to use your baby? I don’t want to break it,” Kamil asked him then.

Niko glanced over his shoulder at Kamil, then nodded. “Yes, of course I can, it’s quite easy, um, what do you want to do?” he asked when his background picture came up; three cats and a furry puppy, one cat had a speech bubble over its head that said ‘I think we have a spy among us’, and the cats had suspicious looks in their eyes while the puppy was trying to look innocent, with its tongue out. Niko loved this picture. Again he took a look at Kamil. “You can sit down and I’ll show you.”

“I need to find information on the project in the net, so ... how do you use the net on the laptop?” he asked, sitting down on the chair.

“Oh, it’s easy,” Niko leaned over a bit, “Here’s the internet icon, click it and ah there you go; Google is my start page. And well, the rest is easy, just like many other computers would work and oh, the mouse is here, in laptops it can be a little tricky to use at first, if you’re used to working with a regular computer mouse.” He watched as Kamil tried to learn how to use the laptop mouse, having some problems with the pointer at the beginning but after a few attempts finally managing to click on the internet icon.

“Ok, what’s next? Any other surprises?”

“Um, not really, then just, go wherever you want, you are free to remove the history afterwards if you like ...um ... Well, I just, I’ll sketch a little so ... I- if you have some questions, just ask, ok?” he looked at the other guy, hesitantly backing off, feeling weird being so close to him now.

“Ok, thanks, Niko,” Kamil gave him a grateful smile and turned to the screen, “You’re a lifesaver again,” he quickly opened the internet and found the website with the information he needed. “Niko, do you have a piece of paper? I need to write it down.”

“Yes, sure, I always have paper,” Niko chuckled and gave him a few pages from one of his notebooks. After handing them to him, he took his sketchbook and lay on his bed on his stomach to draw, trying not to steal too many glances of his flat mate. ‘He’s a straight Catholic, Niko, forget it.’

When Kamil found the information he needed and wrote it down, he closed the internet window. “Thanks, Niko, really. I owe you one.” He left Niko’s room, returning to his own. Niko pondered; he guessed they could still get along, at least Kamil didn’t despise him utterly, and he was being nice. Niko smiled to himself as he kept drawing.

‘Maybe I should try keeping our friendship? Maybe, tonight, I could ask him to watch a movie with me? Hmmm ...’

*P*P*

Kamil came back home from the university completely exhausted. The exam he had was just as hellish as he expected it to be and other professors gave them piles of things to do. He groaned as he entered the empty kitchen. It was late and he had no strength to prepare food, he just wanted to sit back and relax. He took out one beer from the fridge. He bought it on a whim almost two weeks ago but didn’t have the occasion to drink it so far. Tonight he just needed it. And then he groaned once more; the next day was the day he hated, he had both classes and his work in the evening. He opened the beer with a ‘pssst’ and took a gulp.

Niko got home quite late, and the day was ... uh, not the greatest of the days, he did get a few of those looks ... One guy slipped him a note that had his phone number and: ‘Call me.’ Yup, it was out, he was out, and ... apparently easy. Hm, luckily not everyone knew ... yet, anyway ... he headed into the kitchen and saw Kamil there, with a bottle of beer in his hand.

“Hey,” he greeted him. “How was your day?” he inquired, putting his shopping bag on the table and taking the stuff he bought out. Cookies, apples, jam, coke, tomatoes, a bottle of new flavored ketchup that he thought he could try out ...

“Looong,” Kamil groaned again. “And tomorrow’s even longer ... sorry, I don’t have the strength to cook anything. Just eat whatever you find in the fridge.” He took another sip of beer from the bottle.

“Yeah, I though I’d treat myself; cookies, apple pieces, jam and …hm … coke ... oh and I ... I rented this one movie ... um, would you like to join me? You can share my treats, too?” Niko asked carefully, showing the movie to his flat mate, suddenly thinking that what he said might have sounded just a bit kinky.

But Kamil didn’t pay attention to his wording. The Polish student looked as if weighing pros and cons in his head. He should go to sleep early, otherwise he would be dead tired the next day but he hadn’t watched a film for a long time. Poor students don’t own TVs. He felt tempted and at last nodded his head. “Ok, just give me a couple of minutes, I need to take a quick shower and I’ll be all ready,” he smirked a little and finishing his beer, went to his room.

Niko smiled to himself, watching Kamil leave. Suddenly he could imagine the other student being his boyfriend and ... ‘No, no, stop it right there Niko!’ He put some cookies and jam on a tray and cut the apple in pieces, then filled two glasses with coke, adding some ice, wondering if Kamil liked his coke with or without it. He went into his room and turned on the computer, fixing the film ready, then turning the screen towards the bed. He sat down and waited, taking an apple piece to chew.

Kamil took a quick shower as he had said and put on the drawstring pants, again skipping the T-shirt. He really needed to do the laundry, he had only a few pairs of clean boxers left anyway ... He touched his chin; it was a bit rough with the stubble but he didn’t have to shave today. He put his glasses on and cleaned the bathroom a bit, not wanting to make Niko clean everything after him. For some reason he didn’t want his flat mate to think of him as a pig, brought up in a pigsty, even though he did hate cleaning. Then he left the bathroom, knocked at Niko’s door and got inside without waiting. “So ... what are we watching?”

‘Oh my God, does he want to kill me? He’s without a shirt AGAIN!’ Niko found himself shifting nervously, noticing how good Kamil smelled. ‘Oh God ... He’s … this is some ... Catholic evilness ... isn’t it? I don’t know … but it’s evilness ...’ “Ring 2, have you seen it?” he asked, trying not to show the nervousness he felt.

“I only have seen the first part, the Japanese version, pretty scary, this girl crawling out of the well ...” Kamil shivered slightly. Normally he was not afraid of horror movies but this one was plain creepy. He sat down on Niko’s bed, his back coming in contact with the cold wall. Nope, it wouldn’t work ... “A second, I need something,” he said as he stood up and left the room, going to his own to bring his pillow. When he came back, he put it against the wall, sitting down on the bed once more. Now it was much better! “Ok,” he gave Niko a sign. “Now I’m ready.”

“Okay,” Niko stood up to turn the film on, and before he got back onto the bed, he reached out and took the tray from the floor where he had put it earlier and placed it between himself and Kamil. Then he sat down, with his back against the wall, his knees pulled against his chest. “There’s a glass of coke for you, if you like,” he offered to Kamil who nodded and took the glass, taking a sip every once in a while. Then he became engrossed in the film though the little girl did creep him out with her hair crawling everywhere. Somewhere in the middle of the film he started wondering why he had even chosen this film; he could have some problems sleeping after it, and what if he woke up screaming like a girl?

Even though the film was pretty scary, Kamil found himself little impressed, perhaps because he was just too tired. His eyelids felt heavy like lead. Having emptied the glass, he put it on the floor beside the bed and leaned comfortably against the pillow once again, trying to watch the film but finally giving in to the temptation and closing his eyes completely ...

At some point during the second half of the film Niko glanced at Kamil and saw him ... sleeping like a baby! On his bed, the hot half naked, though Catholic Polish student, fell asleep on his bed and! Agh! What to do now? He didn’t want move him and ... he decided to continue watching the film. But he couldn’t really concentrate, even when the creepy girl was on! All he felt and heard and ... saw was HIM, there, next to himself ... sleeping. He decided to cover him with his blanket and then he took the empty tray away to the kitchen and returned to watch the film. He took his pillow and sought for a good spot, deciding to wake Kamil later, when the film was over. He turned down the volume, curled up and closed his eyes for a small moment.

*P*P*

Kamil woke up to the darkness of the room, the only light coming from the switched on laptop. His neck felt painful, bent at an awkward angle, his feet were on the floor and ... Niko was sprawled across his lap, apparently having made a pillow out of it. His hair was tickling Kamil’s stomach ... he took a deep breath, trying not to imagine anything naughty; his flat mate simply fell asleep.

‘What else was he supposed to do after I fell asleep on his bed?’

But the position he was lying in ... was really … uncomfortable one. He needed to wake him up, and let him fall asleep in a normal position, otherwise Niko would have terrible cramps. “Niko?” he shook his flat mate’s shoulder lightly with his hand. “Niko?”

“Vielä 5 minuuttia, nukuttaa,” Niko muttered quietly in Finnish, squirming a bit, apparently trying to find a better position on his ‘pillow’ and accidentally brushing against something he wasn’t supposed to brush. “Lämmin ...” he nudged it again, making Kamil scarlet in the face. “Hmmm …”

‘No to czad!’ Kamil gulped loudly; this had never happened to him before! He had never had a guy sleeping on his lap and nudging his ... “Niko?” he shook him a little stronger. “Wake up, man.”

Niko slowly opened his eyes, trying to see what was happening and then he looked up. ‘Oh GOD!’ He quickly sat up.

”Oh, I’m sorry!” He didn’t know what exactly he had done but it was probably not good ... then he realized that he had fallen asleep on Kamil. ‘Oh God, I hope I didn’t drool on him!’ “Sorry,” he bit his lip. He had this horrible feeling that whatever he was doing around Kamil, he always managed to make a complete ass of himself ...

‘Hoo, he woke up finally ...’ Kamil didn’t know what would have happened if Niko squirmed a little more on his lap ... he bit the inside of his lip. “Um, no problem,” he tried to keep his voice normal. “Sorry for falling asleep on your bed, you should have just given me a shove and told me to go to my own bed,” he muttered as he stood up and took his pillow, keeping it in front of himself. Niko’s squirming turned out to have some undesirable effect on him after all ... “Um, thanks for the film and ... good night.”

He escaped into his room, closing the door and breathing deeply.

‘Kamil, that’s only Niko, your flat mate.’

‘Yes, your gay flat mate,’ a second voice in his head spoke.

‘So what?’

‘He did look and feel good on your lap and ...’ Kamil finally slapped himself on the forehead and arranged the pillow on his bed.

‘I’m not planning to have an affair with Niko,’ he grumbled in his head. ‘He is not someone I would normally go out with.’ He had once had a boyfriend like Niko, kind of a dreamer, a free bird. He seemed so cool and ... he turned out to cheat on him. He promised himself never to get involved with someone like that. And Niko … seemed to be just like him, so free, so careless ... Kamil lay on his bed, with his arms under his head. He could admit it, Niko was physically attractive but … Kamil found that the beginning of friendship with the Finnish guy was too precious to throw it out of the window for a couple of gropes. After what seemed like an eternity, Kamil finally drifted off to sleep.

Niko watched as the door closed after Kamil and sighed. He removed his clothes and lay down under the blanket, arranging his pillow. ‘He can never want me that way, and my attraction for him will go away, I hope, he just seems like ...’ Yes, at the moment, Kamil seemed like the kind of guy that could be ... hm ... a boyfriend, a good one, and ... It had been a while since ... Niko remembered how it felt like when ... He stared at the wall in the darkness, remembering *him* and all the sweet words *he* said, whispering to his ear at nights, for that short time making Niko feel like he was ... worth so much. *He* made him believe that *he* loved him and then ...

It was still too painful to remember; *he* was the true reason why Niko wanted to escape, as far as he could to get free from the memories. Remembering how happy one was hurts the most, and it hurt him so much because it was a lie, just a lie, nothing but a lie ...

CHAPTER 3.  Something More

Niko was the first to wake that morning and when he remembered how he had fallen a sleep on Kamil’s lap the previous morning, he couldn’t help but grin, and he wasn’t sure if he was more embarrassed or amused by it.

He took a long, hot shower and brushed his teeth before going into the kitchen to find something to eat, something easily prepared; a can of yogurt, cucumber pieces and honey. He sat in front of the table while waiting for the water to boil for his tea. He dipped the cucumber pieces in his yogurt and honey. He looked up when hearing the footsteps nearing the kitchen. Kamil looked tired, Niko took note.

“Morning,” Niko greeted, while nipping on a piece of a cucumber.

"Morning," Kamil returned, preparing himself a strong cup of coffee, he seriously felt as if he hadn’t slept a wink that night and his mood wasn’t at its best; today was the day of hell, first classes at the uni and then work till nine in the evening. He took a sip of his coffee and sighed. "That's what I needed ..." He took a closer look at Niko and his somewhat strange breakfast.

"Sorry for falling asleep last night ..." He muttered into the coffee mug, "I think I overestimated my stamina last night ..." Niko smiled at him.

"It's alright and I'm sorry that I... used you as human pillow."

"No problem," Kamil chuckled slightly, "not a usual happening to me but ... don't worry, I didn't ... it didn't ..." He stammered now, not really knowing what he wanted to tell him anyway. That he didn't mind it? Perhaps. "I'm going to make some sandwiches, want some?"

“No, thank you, I am all set here.” Niko replied, looking towards his light breakfast."It was a bit funny if you think about it, I'm sure you're not used to having a guy asleep on your lap." He chuckled then. Not many straight guys would be so fine about a gay guy falling asleep on them, he thought to himself

"Well, I'm not,” Kamil nodded, starting to prepare sandwiches for himself. “Probably just the same as you're not used to falling asleep on someones lap, judging by your reaction. You looked scared," He laughed. Niko blushed ever so slightly, if Kamil only knew the thoughts he had of him! And then he got lost in his faraway memories, memories of how it had been like to really have someone to hold at nights…

Kamil noticed the change in Niko, suddenly silent and… looking serious too. He wondered if he had touched some raw spot hidden in his past? He thought about a moment if he should try to say something about it, but his nature won in the end; he never talked about feelings, feelings were everyone's own business, he wouldn’t like his problems to be discussed with anyone. He would deal with them himself.

"Going to the bathroom now," He told him, not really knowing why. He washed his mug and went to take a quick shower, his flat mate had apparently used almost all hot water. Something that he would need to discuss with him as well.


**^^**^^**

At school Niko didn’t have the best of days and he began to wonder if it would ever change now. Matt found him during the lunch break. Niko was sitting outside on a bench, sketching the scenery in front of him, when a pair of hands came to cover his eyes from behind.

“Guess who?” He heard the familiar drawl, and his hands rose to the hands on his face trying to get them off.

“Matt?”

“That’s right baby,” The guy sounded like he was smiling, but finally he removed his hands. Soon enough the tall guy was standing in front of him, blocking the sunlight. Niko didn’t say anything, hoping that if he were to stay mute, they guy would just disappear. He refused to be his baby. But after a moment of awkward silence, with Niko trying to continue his sketching, Matt saw it proper to sit next to him.

“I feel horny,” Matt informed him, which made Niko’s pencil stop moving on the paper and his eyes grow big. He wasn’t quite sure how to reply to such an … idiotic comment, so he decided that the best thing was to remain quiet and pretend that he hadn’t heard him. But then a hand landed on his thigh, starting to rub it shamelessly, nearing his…

“Hey, did I tell you that you could touch me?” He snapped, but it didn’t make the hand go away.

“Come over to my place, I want to fuck you.”

“I am not interested.” Niko said with annoyed voice and stood up, trying to collect his things.

“Come on baby, you could at least suck it.” Matt had stood up as well and had taken his hand to place it on his crotch, where his cock was beginning to harden. Niko pulled his hand free.

“No; I do not want to touch your thing, now, leave me alone.” He marched towards the school building, not checking if the guy was following. The nerve of him! Right at the school yard!

He really had a bad taste in men when he was drunk, it was now confirmed. Though Matt was handsome, he was also an idiot. Throughout the rest of the school day he was feeling really upset and angry, angry with himself for making the mistake of sleeping with Matt and now… it seemed, that every gay guy in the school knew that he was gay and… yes, easy…UGH, it was annoying to say the least. And Matt, as much as he hated to admit it, wasn’t the first guy he had slept with during his stay in Colorado. ‘You have no one to blame, but yourself Niko,’ his mind was nagging at him. ‘Quit drinking and start celibacy, find yourself a dildo and some porn to keep you happy.’ He told himself. ‘It would be safe, dildo would never judge you, or harass you. It would always be available.’ Yes, it was true, but… it wouldn’t be the same really, would it? And maybe someday, he’d find a man who could be with him for more than sex, for more than just friendship and someone who’d stay. Or maybe, he was doomed to spend the rest of his life alone, turn into some crazy artist, who cuts his ear and stay in a smelly apartment with a bunch of cats? Okay, he was exaggerating again, ‘Niko, you are only 20 years old,’ he reminded himself, ‘still have good many years ahead of you and you won’t stay in Colorado forever.’


Finally his school day was over, but as he was walking towards home, he saw Matt again, offering him a ride home, which Niko refused and took a side road where the guy couldn’t follow him in his car.

He felt exhausted when getting home. He prepared himself a couple of cheese and ketchup sandwiches, which he warmed in the microwave to make the cheese melt on them. Why was Matt even obsessing about sleeping with him? He had been half asleep when they had… done it… so it couldn’t have been all that exiting? Could it? And he could be better in bed, he could be great, he nodded his head as this. Maybe the guy just liked fucking half unconscious guys? Who knew? He sighed when his phone peeped with a message; from Matt. This was just his usual luck. When he wasn’t interested in the least bit, they kept trying and when he was interested; there was no chance that he other would be, it was so frustrating.

After eating the sandwiches, he went into his room to do his home work and paint a little. Time moved fast whenever he was painting, and finally he felt like having a snack. He walked back into the kitchen.

He decided to have some cucumbers again, these were slightly smaller ones, he sat down in front of the table with his cucumbers and a jar of honey, dipping one in and licking the sweetness of it. It was actually quite perverted, he realised then, looking more closely at the cucumber in his hand; it was kind of the size of a… he snickered… a penis… He dipped it in the honey again, brought it in his mouth and sucked on it. He had never learned deep throating, maybe he could practise with an object that wouldn’t try to go deeper than what he was ready to accept. He tried to relax his throat, and close his eyes to try to imagine something… something other that the cucumber… He pictured a man, whose eyes were… brown? Dark hair and…hm… glasses? Perhaps. He knew already that he would never succeed in his decision of celibacy.




Kamil was finally done for the day. He worked in a small bar and on the evenings such as today had been, he had to grit his teeth not to shout with frustration. Another guy had been hitting on him again. Did they not see that he wasn’t interested in one night stands? And the guy had tried to grope him too! He had been forced to tell him quite forcefully to keep his dirty hands off of him, which had let to the manager yelling at him that he should be more polite to the customers. The manager seemed to just close his eyes to the harassing that his worker had to go through. He might be gay, but that didn’t leave any right for the drunkards to grope him.

He was quite pissed off and hungry and he dreamt of the day when he could quit his stupid job, dreamt of the day when he could tell his stupid prick of a boss exactly what he thought of him.
But for now, he just had to swallow it up, for he did need the money. He mentally went through the contents of the fridge; maybe he could make some egg salad?

He closed the front door behind him softly, barely making any sound and walked into his room. He lowered his bag on the floor and decided that he needed to eat before anything.

An odd sight welcomed him in the kitchen; Niko who was sucking on a cucumber like there was no tomorrow… He raised his eyebrows and cleared his throat, unsure how one should act in front of such a sight, a sight that was at the same time amusing but also strangely… stimulating?

Niko almost choked, quickly pulling the cucumber from his mouth and lowering it onto the table, as if it would safe him from the embarrassment, that he already was feeling. He coughed then and tried to clear his throat.

“Um, hello,” he managed to say after he got the ability to speak again. He wasn’t sure, if he should laugh? Make some excuse? He tried to quickly come up with an excuse that would make perfect sense, excuse of why him deep throating a cucumber was a perfectly normal thing and that involved nothing sexual. “Uhum…” He started, looking at the cucumber that was lying on the table in front of him. There really was not any, though, was there?

Kamil couldn’t help it, Niko was looking so amusing right then, so panicked and so lost for words, his lips were quivering from the laughter that wanted to spill from his mouth, but if he laughed then Niko would get even more embarrassed. But what he could do was to try and lighten the atmosphere a little.

"Practising something, were you?” It was not what he had wanted to say, just something that simply escaped from his lips. And this time, he couldn’t stop the grin. It really was so hilarious, seeing Niko all flushed and flustered, he was cute like that. Not that he cared about it… right?

There was no excuse, Niko knew it and he knew that Kamil knew it. So, he had to admit the defeat. He laughed, now that he thought about it, he really must have looked quite hilarious like that. He brought his hand on his hot, flushed skin, and shook his head with a soft laugher. Then he cleared his throat once more, forcing himself to look in Kamil’s eyes.

"It's always good to practise, you know, and I want to be the best that there is.” The words slipped from his mouth.

"There is nothing wrong with wanting to be the best," Kamil shrugged his shoulders and looked inside the fridge. He took out some ingredients to make the salad, and after washing his hands, he started preparing it. Niko was sitting quietly at the table, gazing out into the dark evening.

“Anything interesting happened today?” Kamil asked once sitting down to eat. One plate with generous amount of salad was placed in front of Niko.

“Um…” He started, wondering if he should tell about Matt, but decided that his problems with the guy wouldn’t be of any interest to Kamil. "No, nothing really, same old, same old." He played with the salad before tasting it and swallowing "And you?"

"Actually ..." Kamil said as he took a spoonful of salad, "there was this guy at the bar where I work, trying to grope me. He just wouldn't get it that I'm not interested ..." He stopped, wondering why he told about that? "And the uni was busy too, again lots of homework to do ..." he sighed, taking another spoonful of salad.

“Oh,” Niko started, little surprised. "I hate it when that happens..." he told him then. "Um... the groping I mean... "

"Yeah, they just don't get it that when you say 'Hands off', you mean it ..." Kamil nodded.

“Yeah..." Niko would have thought that a straight guy would be more outraged about the fact that some gay had groped him, but was this something that happened to Kamil often? Niko stood up.
“The salad was very good Kamil, thank you, but I think I’ll save the rest till later, I am still quite full from the sandwiches I had earlier.”

"You're welcome, and yes, you can eat it later." Kamil nodded before continuing. "I seriously wanted to break the stupid prick’s hands. What do you do when someone ... tries to ... ugh, just thinking of it ... ugh ..." He stood up after finishing his salad about to wash his plate.

“I can wash it for you,” Niko offered. “And I wish I could give you advice of how to handle it, but I am afraid that I can’t. I am terrible at such situations myself … Just, walk away if you can, make it clear that it’s unwelcome.”

“Thanks Niko… well, I’ve got to go and shower, tomorrow is another early morning for me, good night."

“Good night…” Niko answered and watched him go, he started washing the dishes lost in his own thoughts, still feeling slightly embarrased about the whole cucumber ordeal.

**^^**^^**^^^**^^**

Niko couldn’t get a rest from Matt, who now seemed to have developed some strange hobby out of stalking him. Suddenly Matt was everywhere that he was, his favorite coffee house, restaurant and video store he worked a couple nights in the week. He had also taken the habit of showing up at the library the usual hours when Niko went there.

Niko tried changing his routines, managed it quite well, the only place where he couldn’t really escape or hide was the video shop. This was what Matt had soon realised as well.

It was Friday evening when Matt walked in with some of his friends. Niko cursed, looked helplessly towards the backroom where his co-worker had disappeared; another long coffee break. He stood behind the counter, trying to arrange some videos and look busy, at times he glanced warily at Matt and his friends who were looking through some videos, discussing and laughing at something. But he did feel Matt’s eyes on him, soon enough he saw him approaching.

“I’m looking for good porn, what would you recommend?” Matt was leaning on the counter and looking at him.

“The adult section is over there,” Niko pointed towards the direction, not looking at Matt. “Help yourself.” He added.

“When do you get home?” Matt asked. It was almost nine, and the shop would close at ten, he’d be free to leave about 15 minutes past the closing time.

“Why?”

“I could wait for you… come to my place, watch some porn together.”

“No thank you.” Niko refused as politely as he could.

“You are just playing with me, I know how bad you really want it Niko, I saw it that night… all teasing and flirting and… I know you want it…” With that being said Matt walked over to the adult section, he turned around once, gave him a quick look and a wink of an eye. Niko looked around not sure how he should react to those words.

And later Matt returned, placing the adult videos on the counter, hard gay porn. Niko didn’t look any closer, he just took the dvds and placed them inside the boxes.

“That will be 6 dollars,” He said with a monotone voice, as cold and indifferent as he could, he really needed to get through to Matt. He didn’t need a sex relationship and with Matt, it was all that he had to offer. Somehow Niko knew that if he were to say yes to him, he’d soon be way over his head with something that he wouldn't know how to handle. And sex with Matt… It was not something that he would miss having… The guy was one of those who simply cared about his own pleasure and other people were just tools, mere playthings for him.

“I’m on to your game, and I am ready to play.” Matt said as he left the money onto the counter and left, signaling to his friends to follow.

It was then that his co-worker returned.

“What did I miss?” He asked whit a yawn, to which Niko’s only reply was to roll his eyes.

It was a relief to find that Matt wasn’t waiting for him and he could walk home without any trouble. Having a stalker lowered his mood, being labeled as a slut in school lowered it even more. Not all thought like that, but some, and he did try to laugh it off with his friends, but it still weighted on him.

He had brought it onto himself, he reminded himself once more. He had been the one to drink, he had invited Matt over that night and… If that wasn’t stupid enough, two weeks after that, at another party he had drunk again and ended up giving a blow job to some guy in the bathroom. Yes, he had brought it onto himself and from now on, he really should be careful with alcohol, because apparently it did wake some nasty, cock hungry slut in him that was very easily guided and used. It was not who he was, well, at least not who he wanted to be.

Sighing heavily, he opened the door to their apartment and walked in, lovely smell of dinner greeted him in the hall.

“Hey, you’re still up?” Niko asked when finding Kamil in the kitchen.

“Yes, I kept it warm for you, thought you might be hungry when you come back.” Niko smiled and nodded his head, feeling slightly better already, like being at home, Kamil made it home.

“Sit down, you look exhausted.” Kamil told him and served him a plate full. “Water? Milk?”

“Water would be fine, thank you.”Kamil sat down opposite from him.

“How was work?” He enquired.

“Oh well you know… long… exhausting… same old, same old.” Niko replied, tasting the food. “And you? How was your day?”

“Good enough,” Kamil smiled. “Talked with my mother today and…”

“How was she?”Niko asked, suddenly realising how little he knew about Kamil’s family.

“She was good, they all are, makes me miss home every time I talk with them.”

“Yeah, I know how you feel….” Niko nodded, taking a taste of the water.

“What do your parents do for living?”He asked then, curious.

“Well… my mom is a cook, she works in one restaurant….” Kamil smiled.

“Ah that explains… this and…” Niko looked at his plate and then at Kamil, smiling. “You cook well.” He told him then, took another spoonful of the food and ate.

“Thank you.”

“And your father?”

“He’s a teacher, he teaches Math.”

“And that’s where your intelligent comes from…hm… yes, that makes sense.” Niko nodded again with a smile on his lips. Kamil smiled back, yes his father had been the one to emphasize how important it was to study. He was a strict man when in came to studying, and working, a man who loathed laziness. So from a little boy, Kamil had been taught to work hard in order to get far in life.

“Do you have siblings?” Niko asked next.

“Yes, I have a sister, she’s almost 16 now.” Kamil stood to get himself a glass of water. “How about your family?” He asked then, his back against the counter.

“Well, my mother…. She is a book editor, and my father… he was or still is, an artist,” Niko glanced at Kamil, raising his eyebrow. “But he left us when I was three years old, so I don’t remember much of him. Only that I think I was trying to be like him, that’s how I came to draw and paint and for a long time I just continued, thinking that if were good enough, then he’d come back, it was silly, but as a child it made sense….”

“Hm… I can understand that, not silly….” Kamil nodded.

“I look like him, and I have a passion for art like him… Those are the only things I have left of him… He doesn’t care… But my step father, he’s great, he lets me call him dad and he’s as different from my real father as night differs from day. He’s this big, cuddly man with a beard, a business man. Stable and sensible whereas my biological father was this… well different. And I have a half brother and a sister, my brother is 8 and my sister is 10 …” Niko took a pause, before he continued. “I think it must be hard for mom to have a child who constantly reminds her of the one man who broke her heart… I know she still loves him, isn’t it silly, to love someone who hurt you so bad? I never got it, not until… well it is not important and again I am just blabbering and boring you to death….”

“Not boring me at all,” Kamil smiled warmly.

“Well thank you Kamil, for the dinner, which was great and for the talk. I am exhausted and think I’ll just take a quick shower before going to bed, so Good night.”
“Good night.”


**^^**^^**^^**^^**

Another lazy Saturday. Kamil always waited for Saturday’s like for redemption. The last two weeks had been like hell both at uni and at work and now he wanted nothing more than just to relax. He had rented a movie and wanted to Niko to watch it with him. He knocked gently at the door to Niko’s room.

“Yes?”

“Niko?” Kamil looked inside the room. “Oh, you’re busy?” He asked, seeing him painting.

“Not that busy,” Niko smiled. “Come in.” He invited while cleaning his painting brush. Kamil stepped in and walked closer to look at the painting on the easel; it was a landscape, a summer evening by the lake with shadows of two people, curled up side by side on the dock.

"That looks nice! Did you paint it from your head? From imagination?"

"Part of it is... imagination... part memory, part help from a photo." Niko told him, giving him a quick smile. “So what’s up?”

"I was just ... wow, that paining is really good! I always wanted to be able to paint but all I can is draw, and not too good, either."

"You should show me your work sometime? And maybe... if you like, I can perhaps teach you to paint?"

"That would be ... thank you, I'd like that, though I don't know if I ever manage to find time for that." Kamil looked at the picture for some time, feeling melancholic for a few seconds. "Anyway ..." he shook his head, "are you doing anything tonight?"

"Tonight? No, I just thought I'd stay home and I dunno, relax..." Niko answered, his curiosity and hope woken up suddenly. Who was he trying to kid? He did have a crush on Kamil. "Um, why?"

"Hm, have you ever watched Star Wars?" Kamil asked. Niko never had, partly because he really wasn’t a big fan of sci-fi, but… It was Kamil who was asking so it left him curious…

“Star Wars? No, I haven’t.”

"Man, you don't know what you're missing!" Kamil almost shouted in his enthusiastic state. "You seriously ...? I have never thought I would meet someone who didn't watch it!" He grinned. "Oh, man, I'm gonna try to convert you to it! We're watching it tonight!"

Niko couldn’t help but to laugh softly at this.

"Alright, a deal, but... I need to ask you something in return…"

"Sure," Kamil was still grinning. "Ask away, I'll answer if I can."

"Well, I have this school assignment, we need to paint a portrait of someone, from a life model... would you...model for me?"

"Only this?" Kamil was surprised, he had expected something more serious. "I don't see any problem."

"Thank you, um, are you free now? Or?" Niko asked

"Yes, I'm free now, you can order me around," Kamil told him, remembering the time when Niko had let him use his laptop to find the info he had desperately needed.

"Great!"Niko smiled, happy of the fact that Kamil had agreed. One guy he had asked before and who had agreed, had somehow gotten the impression that agreeing would lead to something sexual, so Niko had told him that he had found someone else and now he really had.

He took out a new canvas, placing the previous to dry in the corner of the room.

"Now, where to put you..." He wondered out loud, "On the bed, yes," Niko nodded, noticing that the light there was just perfect. Kamil followed his wish and sat on the bed.

"How long are you going to work on that painting?"

"Hm, not sure, we can take breaks, first I'm going to sketch you, the painting process will take longer, um I might ask you again some other day... Remember; I'm a perfectionist..." Niko grinned, and took a seat for himself. He then looked at Kamil, wondering to what pose he should ask him.

"I noticed," Kamil nodded his head, taking his slippers off and putting his feet on the edge of the bed, then he brought his hands to his knees. "you're obsessed with perfectionism. Even this cucumber …" He snorted, not being able to stop. "Sorry, that was nasty, I shouldn't have reminded you of that."

Niko chuckled. "Um, it's okay, I would laugh at it too... I mean...yeah..." He took a pause, biting his lip before continuing with a grin. "Well, I like to enjoy a good, juicy cucumber when I can, that's all there's to it… Now, you could lie down a bit, take a pillow, what ever you can to make yourself comfortable, and keep your eyes here, towards me, ok?"

Kamil snorted with laughter, doubling over the bed. Niko was trying to tease him. "Was it with mustard? Or ketchup this time?" He couldn’t help but tease back.

"No, it was with honey this time, sweet, tasty honey...mmh." Niko was determined not to get embarrassed so easily. "Now, take your pose Kamil..." He glanced at him.

"Like that?" Kamil stretched his body, lying on the side, with one hand supporting his head. "Like in the Titanic."

"If Titanic does it for you…” Niko raised his eyebrow and continued. “Yes...hm, I quite like you like that..." There was a sudden memory, flashing in Niko’s mind, a memory that killed his smile.

"Now...if I ask you to take your clothes of and wear only a piece of jewelry around your neck, would you do that for me too? Make it really Titanic?"He chucked as he started to sketch.

"No, I'm not as curvy as Kate Winslet, the jewel wouldn't look half as good on me as it did on her anyway," Kamil answered, noticing the slight change of mood in Niko that made him slightly curious, but once again he bit his tongue not to ask more questions.

"Well, it was worth the try." Niko sighed jokingly and then he concentrated on the job at hand… studying Kamil closely and allowing his hand to follow what his eyes saw. He wondered if Kamil knew how handsome he was, he wondered if he had any idea how his voice made him weak on he knees and how… Kamil wasn’t like most, not just some handsome guy… no, he had… so much more in him, how his features… his personality… his intelligence… Even the glasses he wore were perfect on him. Kamil’s voice alone, deep, masculine and yet… Niko looked deep into the brown eyes only to move his gaze soon back to his drawing. His mouth felt dry.

"Would you mind if I listened to music while you're painting?" Kamil asked him and Niko willed himself to look in his eyes, willed himself to smile and make it seem normal.

“No, not at all, I usually listen to music while painting, too.” He told him. “But please, no repeating a song ten times over!”

"Oh, why not?" Kamil was genuinely surprised, "I like listening to something I like ..." His sentence was so twisted that he laughed at what he had just said. "Ok, not listening to one song 10 times in a row. Promise.” He smiled and couldn’t help but to add; "But 20 is ok?" He asked while winking, Niko raised his eyebrow…

"Oh 20 is indeed better that 10," he nodded. "Notice the sarcasm here," he said giving him an amused smile. "No, let the artist pick up the music, let the model simply listen and be quiet.” Niko stood up, going through some of his CDs “Hm… Within temptation.” He nodded, taking out the cd and putting it on.

“I love that group!” Kamil suddenly burst out.

“Well what do you know; we do have something in common.” Niko chuckled, Kamil watched him in a way that made shivers run down on his spine; the pleasant kind, the one; you’re in trouble kind. “When I paint… I need songs with… hm… songs that make me feel, and remember and see… To bring me back to a day when I first heard the song or just… remind me of some event that… Memories are of color, smell, and sound….Paintings are part of the artist soul… Music and painting go hand in hand.”

Kamil just looked at him; the expression on his face, the movement of his slender hands, the concentration. The depth of his voice and how dedicated he seemed to this; art was his passion, you could see it, hear it and… they really were different, weren’t they? Niko was the kind of person his parents would have warned him about, a dreamer, a drifter, person to… live in a moment, a person who did not look far ahead? Who saw this day and did not bother himself with the next ones? And yet, at the same time, it fascinated Kamil. He had always been the one to try and follow the rules set to him, to try and fill the expectations given to him and had he ever felt such passion about anything as Niko did with his painting? Kamil shook his head, no, he had a goal, he knew what he wanted and…. He knew.

“How are you school mates?” Niko asked wanting to break the silence that had settled between them.

"As usual ... thinking highly of themselves and looking down on those less fortunate. Yours?"

"Well... As of now... I am the promiscuous, easy Swedish boy, yes... So, apparently someone didn't keep his mouth shut and for once I'm kind of glad they keep thinking I'm Swedish."

"They say that? Bastards ..." Kamil muttered, but he couldn’t help the nagging voice in the back of his mind, the one learned from outside, that Niko should have thought about it before sleeping with that guy. But as soon as the thought had made itself known, Kamil hated himself for it; it was not Niko’s fault.

"Yes, well I guess I'm lucky that no one has come over to beat me yet for it... so... yeah... And at least I know I have options if I ever grow tired with the cucumber." Niko tried to joke, it was a habit, whenever something serious came along he would try to joke and make the… best out of it.

"Be sure if they ever want to do something … anything, I'm your friend," Kamil said seriously, without even thinking much, it came straight from his heart.

Niko looked at him quietly, surprised of the seriousness in Kamil’s voice, like he really meant what he said, and it had been a long time since…

“Thank you Kamil,” he told him.

"No problem, really ..." And his time, Kamil was blushing, Niko looked away, knowing just how… unneeded it was for someone to stare, when you were blushing…

"I almost have you." He noted then, looking at the drawing he had made. “Just a few more details….”

Kamil laid motionless, nothing to do but to… stare at his flat mate. He had been avoiding paying too much attention to his looks, but now… after being kind of forced to do this, he did look. His hair; soft, golden brown; making him wonder how it would be like to touch that hair, to play with it: He had big, green eyes and eyelashes that many a girl would almost kill for… His face, not too feminine, but pretty, and soft nonetheless…. And when he smiled…. Kamil shook his head, but could not draw his eyes away… He thought that Niko must be quite popular with guys, probably he had had at least a couple of boyfriends?

Kamil was reminded of the only boyfriend he had ever had, in the third grade of his high school… They had dated for a couple of months, and they had even slept together, but…. Then, he had broken up with him, not really telling Kamil why. Something like that was not easy to forget.

And Niko reminded him of him, with his careless… well Niko wasn't always careless, was he? That day he had shown him a sad face, that day he had…. Maybe he wasn’t just an easy Swedish kid after all?

Niko looked at Kamil, he looked tired…

"You know what? There is no way that I’ll ever finish this today so... Let’s call it a day, let’s make something to eat and watch that film of yours.”

"Food and film sound good," He stood up and stretched his arms in the air. "Do you want something in particular?"

"Hm... well… I'd love pasta bolognese... but, whatever is fine really... well not... er..." Niko grinned, getting a grin back.

"Pasta bolognese it is."


Niko cleaned his room, taking good care of his brushes, he then chose something more casual to wear and headed to the bathroom for a shower.

Kamil was preparing the supper, when Niko walked into the room wearing casual clothes, that suited him well and Kamil noticed how fresh he smelled. He shook his head; why should he care?

“It’s should be ready in 15 minutes or so,” Kamil informed him. "Hope you're not that hungry ..."

“Well, I think I can manage 15 minutes without dying of hunger, just barely though.” Niko grinned as he sat down, watching as Kamil worked in front of the stove.

“I can set the table ready,” He said then and stood up to find the plates and glasses from the cupboard.

Kamil finished the dish and served it for the both of them, he then sat next to Niko and started to eat.

"Mmm... it smells so good." Niko told him, squeezing some ketchup on his food, but less than he would normally use. He tasted some, "heavenly," he sighed. "You'll make your future wife very happy with your cooking."

Kamil almost choked, hearing the word: ‘wife’; a husband would be more suitable! He quickly tried to come up with some evasive answer that he could give him.

"Well, my mom ... she said that you never know when you'll need to be able to cook ... buuuut ... for the time being I only make myself happy with it."

"Yeah my mom tried with me, but she gave up... I can perhaps, do some simple food but other than that I relay on other people and the good people that prepare the food that I can just put in the microwave to cook... not that healthy... yeah... but I am hoping, that one day, if I am lucky, I would have someone to take care of that, of me…. " Niko shrugged his shoulders and continued eating.

"And you'll take care of the cleaning, right?" Kamil took a forkful of pasta, some of it dragging a little, and he was forced to slurp the single pasta into his mouth. "Sorry ..." He licked the sauce off his lips. Niko watched him quietly before answering.

"Yes, I would, you can't take without giving," He smiled. "Well some can but... you know what I mean." He decided to add.

"Yeah, I guess I know, some can ..." Kamil answered, thinking about his first boyfriend; he just took and went away. He looked at his plate for a moment, but then shook his head. There was no point in remembering something that was in the past. It just happened. Tomek had been his first, but he had never expected him to be his last, either. He would find someone one day, someone responsible, with clear objectives in mind, someone who would know what he wants, someone he’d be able to trust.


After dinner, Kamil went to get the movie from his desk; 'The New Hope', the oldest one from the 'Star Wars' saga. Then he went to Niko’s room, knocking at the door, but opening it before waiting for his; 'come in'. It was more of a warning for him now that he’d enter. He didn't want to catch him doing things ... like that cucumber accident; it had stuck in his head for a pretty long time, giving him one or two wet dreams.

Niko smiled at Kamil, handing him a class of wine.

“I thought you’d like?” He said.

"Thanks," Kamil said taking the glass and handing Niko the box whit the film in it. "Here's the film I was talking about. It's really exciting!"

Niko studied it before taking the DVD out. It amused him somewhat to see Kamil so excited about it.

"So, let’s watch it then," He told him, putting the DVD in and fixing it ready. He then sat on his bed, arranging the pillows and found himself a comfortable spot there. He sipped his own wine, and sighed with contentment. A Saturday night without going out was actually quite nice.

Kamil was completely drawn to the screen, when the music began and the moving letters showed, telling the beginning of the saga. He felt like a small child again, a child who fell in love with the galactic adventure long long time ago. He slowly sipped the wine from time to time.

Niko stole glances of Kamil, to be honest he was more interested in watching his flat mate and his reactions to the film than the film itself. He thought it was cute, Kamil was cute and he smiled to himself, forcing himself to look back at the screen and follow the film that many have talked about, a film that according to some of his friends was a must see.

Kamil stretched as the final scene was played, the scene in the crown room, with Luke Skywalker and Han Solo being rewarded by the princess. He started humming the melody that had been stuck forever in his mind. He even remembered having a song to it, that he had made it up himself. He grinned, wasn’t he being silly? To be so crazy about a film.

"So? What do you think of it?" Kamil asked, looking at Niko.

"Yeah it was...um, wow, pretty good." He nodded his head over and over again, which soon left him feel like an idiot, so he stopped. "So you have all of these films?" He asked.

"I think they have them at the rental, it's a classic of Sc-Fi," Kamil informed him as he took a long sip of the wine.

“Hm… yes, I think we have them at where I work." Niko nodded “Would you like to watch another movie?”

“Sure.”

"Well, what kind you like the best?"

"Can watch absolutely anything except for very sappy Brazilian love stories ..." He shrugged his shoulders. "Show me something you like."

Niko laughed. "So no sappy Brazilian love stories then..." He stood up and went to look through his DVD’s. "Hm, I give you examples... Monty Python...Lord of the rings, I have all of them, um, Big Fish, Stephen King's Shining, Pet Cemetery...Titanic..." At this Niko grinned at him. "And many more, if nothing from these interest you."

"Hm, Lord of the rings is too long for me. I can't stand Stephen King ... Monty Python is good but ... oh, well, let's watch a sappy American love story and enjoy the curvy shapes of Kate Winslet," he joked.

"Okay, curvy shapes of Kate it is, though I find Leo a bit more entertaining than her." He grinned."You know, this is so silly, but when I saw the movie for the first time I cried myself to sleep because Jack died, but for my excuse, I was only 11... though I might still cry, I am sorry for it beforehand," He put the movie on. “I know it’s so gay, to like Titanic as much as I do, but well…Well the fact that I cry at the end of it is even more gay, but hey.” He grinned spreading his hands and then pointing at himself, he sat on the bed again and decided to loose his socks.

"I hope you don't mind?" He realised to ask Kamil, he didn’t think his feet smelled or anything, just that… who knew, Kamil might be one of those weird people that found feet disgusting.

"Why would I?" Kamil looked at his feet; well-shaped and obviously well taken care of. Nice feet.

"Hm…I don't know why.” Niko chuckled.

Kamil wasn’t really into sappy love stories, and when it was finally time for the sinking part he had to refrain himself from commenting on the sometimes unrealistic special effects; it was one of Niko’s favorite movies, so he guessed that he would be very happy if he would suddenly start criticising it.

"Can I use your blanket?" He asked after awhile, when he started feeling cold.

"Yes, if you don't mind sharing it?" Niko asked, feeling a bit cold as well.

"No, not minding at all, we'll get warmer faster," Kamil said as he stood up, allowing the blanket to be lifted from the bed.

Niko lifted the blanket up and when Kamil sat down again, he covered them both with it. When Kamil shifted to find a better position, his arm accidentally touched Niko’s. He hoped that Niko wouldn’t mind, he was too lazy to move.

Niko’s heart started to beat faster, and he barely dared to move all he could think of at that moment, was that Kamil’s arm was touching his and he felt like 13 again. ‘It's just a soft, accidental touch of two arms, nothing more, nothing less.’ He tried to tell himself.

The ship was sinking, every time he watched the movie he hoped that it somehow wouldn't sink, but every time it did. He moved just a tiny bit more closer to Kamil, pushing his luck and trying to make it seem accidental.

Kamil looked sideways at Niko, noticing him pressing more strongly against him, he didn’t mind it, he remembered that Niko was easily touched by such dramatic scenes, he guessed that Niko didn’t even realize how close he had just moved.

"You know,” he started with a whisper, leaning towards him a little so that he could hear him, "these aren't real people, just look at that man that is falling from the railing, his hands and legs bend at unreal angles, it's a doll, a dummy. And did you know they actually made some scenes in a big swimming pool?"

"I know it's not real now... I know… but... it was once.... it happened for real and it makes me sad."
Niko told him.

"Well, it happened, too true. The sad thing is that Cameron made such big money on those people's death," He looked at Niko seriously, sighing.

"I've never thought about it like that and I don't think... well what I think is wrong when people make a movie something that is still so fresh and cash on that... but this. I don't think... well, I don't like to think that it's made out of pure hunger of money, they've put a lot of thought into this, and more importantly I think it's good, so we won't forget... I spent a lot of time when growing up reading about Titanic, I don't know why, but I did." He kept whispering. "When I was on a ship with my mother, as a child, I insisted on sleeping with my day clothes on because I feared that it would sink like Titanic did. I was silly, I've always been silly that way, am still. "

"This is not silliness, Niko, you've got the right to be afraid of things that you can't control yourself," Kamil responded with a whisper, for the time being forgetting about the scenes of the sea disaster.

"Yeah... Drowning scares me, I almost drowned once, I was playing with other kids and fell from a water mattress. I couldn't get to the surface, I thought I would die, but a man had seen it, and he was quick enough to get me." Niko had forgotten about the film now as well and was looking at Kamil.

"I remember once ... I was taught how to swim by my aunt. I was very young, like ... five maybe ... and she was holding me. We were in the river that flows through the place where I lived. Anyway, she let me go for a couple of moments and I went under. Strange thing because I wasn't afraid at all, I remember looking around in this water, seeing stones on the bottom and the sun rays ... I remember that when my aunt pulled me out of water, I wanted to go down again," He chuckled "Now who is weirder?"

"So maybe, I don't know…. you were a fish in your former life or something." Niko grinned. "Sun rays in the water, that sounds pretty, I think... I think I want to paint that one day; a child diving in the water filled with light." He had the image already in his mind.

"Fish? No, not a fish, I hate fish, they are cold and slimy," He shivered, which made Niko laugh.

"Okay so no fish then, something warm and..." He took a pause, finding himself leaning dangerously close to Kamil and having these thoughts of... He decided that it was best to pull back slightly. "Something warm," He repeated almost silently.

"A polar bear?" Kamil joked again, remembering how he had told him that some American had thought that there were polar bears in Finland.

"Yeah, a polar bear, they like to swim, don't they? Or then they have to...hm..." Niko’s thoughts were interrupted by the ringing of his cell phone. He got up to search it.

“Hello.”

“Hi baby, gonna come over, wanna fuck?” It was Matt. Niko felt himself tensing. He could hear in Matt’s voice that he was drunk.

“Go home to sleep.” He told him with a cold voice.

“Nah, gona come over, feel so horny…”

“Well I can’t help you with that, sorry.” He said and hung up.

Kamil noticed that Niko was in a bad mood.

"I think it's getting kind of late ... and I'm hogging your bed again." He stood up, lowering the blanket on the bed and immediately he felt cold. "Thanks for the wine and film, next time I'll bring drink with me." Niko tried to smile.

"Ok, thank you for the company and good night..." He whispered, hoping that Kamil would stay.

"Um ... sleep well?" It came more as a question than a wish. Again Niko just smiled tiredly as he sat down on his bed.

Kamil walked into his own room and undressed his drawstring pants. He lay down, finding that his duvet was cold, he shivered slightly. It had been so warm under that blanket and so close to Niko. He thought about it before he fell asleep; he is not that careless as he first thought he was, there was some depth to him. What made him be so superficial sometimes when he really was someone deeper?


Niko felt alone and cold. He wanted someone to keep him warm, to touch him, to kiss him. He closed his eyes with a heavy sigh, hoping to find some sleep soon. But he couldn’t fall asleep no matter what. He listened to the clock ticking, otherwise it was silent.

Suddenly he heard knocking at the front door, he sat up and listened, but the knocking only grew more persistent, he jumped up from his bed and walked across the room bare feeted, wearing only a tank top and boxers. It was freezing, he wrapped his arms around himself as he hurried to answer to the door. As soon as he opened the door he regretted it; it was Matt, a terribly drunk Matt.

“Baby…” The strong arms wrapped around him before he had even time to react.

“Matt, I told you….” Niko hissed as he tried to squirm his way out from the hold. The front door closed after Matt and he pressed Niko against the nearest wall He kissed Niko’s neck, licked it, his hands traveled down on his butt.

"Let’s fuck..." He murmured.

"”Let’s not, go home,” Niko told him, trying to be as quiet as he could, as he had already promised Kamil that this kind of trouble wouldn’t occur anymore.

“I love it when you play hard to get,” Matt laughed quietly. How thick was this guy anyway? Niko wondered while being groped without shame. He could smell the heavy alcohol on Matt, could taste it from the sloppy unwelcome kisses, he felt ill.

"Go home Matt, I want to sleep…”

“Just a quickie, you know, you want it,” Matt insisted while already pulling Niko’s boxers down. Niko pulled back, trying desperately to keep on the piece of clothing.

"Matt, I want to go to sleep...stop it, please, I mean it." But it seemed that whatever he said, Matt wouldn’t pay attention to it. He felt as Matt’s hand moved under the hem of his boxers to stroke his naked butt, his fingers dangerously close to his…

Kamil woke to the strange noises coming from the hall, they weren’t too loud, but still… He frowned, trying to make his mind less fuzzy from the sleep, put on the glasses and he opened the door. He was greeted with the sight of his flat mate being pinned against the wall by the guy he had seen on that first Saturday. He would have just turned around and gotten back to sleep if not for one thing; Niko didn’t look like he was enjoying himself, in fact he looked like trying to get away from the hold.

"Am I interrupting in something?" He asked as he emerged from his room, speaking to the drunk guy, who seemed to have his hand inside Niko’s boxers…

"Yeah... you are... we gonna fuck." He looked towards Kamil, but did not ease his hold on Niko.

"No we're not, Matt, take your hand off." Niko was squirming and Kamil saw red, he hated drunk gropers that didn’t get the fucking clue!

He forcefully detached the guy’s hands from Niko’s body and shoved him towards the door. He was so drunk that he almost fell down. Kamil opened the door and shoved the guy again, this time paying attention not to push too hard. He didn’t want the guy to fall down and get injured. Kamil close and locked the door, turning to Niko.

"You ok? He didn't do anything to you?" He asked.

Niko looked down at his clothes, to make sure that his boxers were on right.

"I'm ok, I think, he just... drooled all over me," he wiped the wetness from his neck shuddering. "I pick up the real charmers, don't I?" He tried to joke, trembling slightly, partly from cold, partly from…

"Or they rather pick you," Kamil shook his head. "Those are the worst kind, I seriously hate them, no matter how hard you're trying to shake them, they stick to you like chewing gum to the underside of the shoe ..." Then Kamil noticed two things; first he was rambling, keeping Niko there in his underwear only and it was kind of… cold… Secondly, he looked too pale to feel good after what happened to him.

"You ... don't feel ok. Did he try ..."

"I don't know." Niko said as honestly as he could. "I don't know," he repeated. "If you hadn't been here, I..." He looked at Kamil, who felt his anger rising, but the last thing that they needed was someone angry. He quickly walked to Niko’s room, took the blanket from the bed and brought it to the small hall, wrapping it around Niko’s arms.

"Let's go to the kitchen, I'll make you hot tea."

"Thank you," Niko whispered feeling grateful to Kamil.


When the tea was ready, Kamil sat down in front of the kitchen table with Niko.

"Niko, this idiot ... we have to get him from your back, somehow. He's not going to leave you alone like that, and like you said, I might not be there the next time. So any ideas how to deal with this problem?" Niko lifted the mug between his hands, gently blowing in it, wanting it to cool down. He realised that Kamil was right, Matt wouldn’t leave him alone that easily, after all this had been going on for weeks. But he had no idea how to make him to leave him alone, if he did, the problem would have been solved days ago.

"Don't know, Kamil, I have no idea... He..." Niko tried to find the right words. “He... He was that drunk and I couldn't get him off of me." He said tasting the tea. "I never realised that I was this weak."

"It's not the question of being weak, Niko, drunk people have sometimes surprising amounts of strength. I threw him out but it wasn't easy for me either," Kamil admitted and drank a gulp of the tea; he would like to take a teaspoon and start drinking from it, like he used to when he was a child. What Niko needed to get this stupid drunk ... He suddenly thought of an idea. "He was coming onto you because he thinks you're easy. Sorry, but that's what it looks like to me. So you just need to make him - and everyone else - see that you're not."

Niko watched him quietly, wondering when had he made himself into that; easy? He hadn’t always been like that. “I wasn’t always…” he muttered into his tea mug. "How will I do that? To make them see?" He asked then.

Kamil was silent for a long time, slowly drinking his tea. He was not the one who could think up some twisted plans, but he was intelligent and what Niko needed was…

"If you ... if someone hits on you the next time, you should firmly say 'no' to that person ... Can you do that? And it would be good if it happened somewhere where all those idiots can see it. What's the best place for that?"

"I can say no, for goodness sake," Niko snapped at first, but then realised that Kamil was only trying to help him. "I'm sorry... I-, well, there is this club... I know I'm not 21 yet, but I have… um this fake ID, and that's where we go, where they go..."

"Good. I mean not good that you have a fake ID," Kamil grinned at him meaningfully. "But ... do you have someone who would do something like that? I mean, hit on you? We can't count on the fact that someone will hit on you by chance ..." He scratched his head. This whole idea seemed more and more stupid to him now.

"Um," Niko thought about it going through his friends at school, mostly girls, and a guy who sometimes helped him with Math, but no one would be surprised if he turned that guy down… and then there were some other guys, but he would never go to them for help.

"I-... I don't know who to ask." He told Kamil who almost couldn’t believe it. Niko was popular and there was no one who could help him? He didn’t look like a shy one, he should have heaps of friends! Kamil thought about it for a moment, well, he would have to come out sooner or later and it was not as if people at the uni would kill him for being gay, he knew at least few who were.

"Niko ... don't get me wrong, please. I wouldn't normally do this but I can see you need some help here and I don't want to see you forced in a dark alley any time soon. So what would you say ..."

"Are you telling me that you would... help me?" Niko asked carefully.

"Basically ... yes. I will pretend I'm hitting on you and you'll have to ... make it really convincing that you're not interested."

It might actually work. Kamil looked… well… heavenly to Niko’s eyes and… Since he would know that it wasn’t real and that Kamil was only pretending to be interested… then… it could be easy?

"Alright, I can do that." He smiled. "Thank you Kamil."

"No problem at all, you're a friend," Kamil smiled back, hoping he had made him feel little more secure; Niko wasn’t so pale anymore and he had stopped shivering. "We have to hurry up, you realize, the sooner all those people get it that you're not easy, the better for you... What about tomorrow, in fact?" Kamil asked.

"Well, I know many are there tomorrow, so, yes..." Niko agreed.

"So ..." Kamil grinned at him, "We have a date tomorrow!" He finished the tea and looked at Niko. "Feeling any better now?"

"Much better, I don't know how to thank you Kamil."

"Like I said, no problem," He stood up, going towards the sink to wash his cup. "You should go to sleep now, you need to look your best. I will not be hitting on some scruffy looking Swedish kid," Kamil said, making sure that his voice sounded joking. Niko laughed softly.

“I will look gorgeous for you, Kamil,” He grinned and stood up. He was feeling so much better that he decided to hug Kamil.

His spontaneous hug surprised Kamil and for a moment he felt tempted to return his hug, but that would be a dead give away to Niko that he was gay as well and for some reason he’d rather keep it the way it was, Niko not knowing, perhaps to make it easier somehow? Because Niko was a great friend and if he knew then… maybe, he would try… well if they would try, what if it didn’t work? Then he would lose a good friend and a decent flat mate. So he thought that he’d preferred staying friends.

He went to bed and falling asleep turned out to be a little difficult as his mind replayed the hug. It felt… nice. But Niko was a friend and nothing else.


**^^**^^**^^**


Sunday evening, they were both getting ready to leave to the club. Niko chose his clothes carefully, wanting to look extra good. He picked his favorite pair of jeans that fitted him like a glove, he thought that his butt looked great in them. Then a tight fitting t-shirt, also his favorite. He took a soft, black bracelet and put it on his left wrist. He checked himself in the mirror and did the one last touch to his hair. Soon there was a knock on his door.

“Come in.”

Kamil walked in the room and took a quick look at Niko; he really did pay a lot of attention to his appearance.

“I wanted to ask you if it looks ok,” He said, meaning his clothes that he had had some trouble choosing. He didn’t have any clubbing clothes really, so he had picked out the only items that he thought should be suitable enough; faded blue jeans and a snuggly fitting muscle shirt without sleeves, he thought that he could put a denim jacked over it if it wasn’t good enough. And his hair… well, his hair was just stubborn and it was better to leave it to the way it wanted to be, rather that to try and style it.

"Well, I’ll tell you; you don't make it easy for me to turn you down Kamil. You look really good." Niko grinned. "But don’t worry, I promise to stick to the plan.”

"You know, we should get to the club separately, if we go together, no one will believe our little set up." Kamil noted.

"Oh we should, yes..." Niko nodded. "So which one of us should go first?"

"How about ... I don't know, maybe I could get there first, I could have a look around before you come…. So give me like 15 minutes? And I’ll find you when you get there."

“Okay, see you there.”

“And please don't be late, I’m not a big fan of clubs." Kamil said before leaving.

“I won’t be late, I promise.”


**^^**^^**

Kamil arrived at the club, feeling slightly odd as clubs definitely weren’t his favorite places to be. The music was loud, people were dancing on the dance floor in the front. Kamil walked over to the bar to get himself a drink, one that didn’t have much alcohol in it. The last thing he needed that night, was to get tipsy. He waited for Niko, slowly sipping his drink and finally he saw him and he was right on time, too.

Kamil had also noticed that Mr Grope-Everyone-When-Drunk was at the club as well, sitting close to the counter with his friends. Kamil wasn’t sure if the guy remembered at all what he was trying to do the previous night and if he even remembered who Kamil was. He had seen him twice already, but both times he had been busy with something else entirely and he hadn’t payed much attention to him.

But as soon as Niko had entered the club, Mr Groper immediately perked up. So it was Kamil’s clue, he needed to get up and start hitting on Niko. It had been a long time since he had hit on anyone, he had been too busy with his studies. He hoped that he could still remember how it worked.

He snickered as he walked closer to his flat mate, who at the time was ordering himself a drink. Kamil could only hope that he wouldn’t sound corny to him.

"Hello gorgeous," Kamil smiled when getting close to Niko, mentally cringing; it had sounded corny.

“Hello,” Niko answered to his smile and at the same time tried to sound casual. It did feel strange having to pretent that he didn’t know who Kamil was.

"I noticed you're kind of alone. In need of some company?"Kamil leaned over the counter a bit to make a cool impression that was so characteristic for all those… gropers. He gave Niko a lazy look, from his head to his toes and gave him an approving smile.

"Maybe I like being alone." Niko replied with a grin and a raised eyebrow. Kamil moved closer to Niko, as he noticed that the troublemaker from last night had taken few steps closer to them.

"Maybe I feel like keeping you company?" Niko looked at him, from head to toe and smiled.

"You're not the only one." Niko told him, his heart beating madly, he could feel Kamil’s eyes on him, he could feel the others’ too.

"No, I'm not. But I'm much nicer than those over there," Kamil said softly as he pointed with his head towards the vultures who were ogling Niko at the moment. And Niko knew that he was, that he would be and he couldn’t help but hope that it wasn’t just a game that they were playing.

"Are you?" He asked whit curious tone. "Are you better?"

"I hope I am," Kamil answered him, leaninging even closer to him, making it look like he was trying to kiss him, or at least hoping for it, he whispered so that only he could hear it, "Niko, we need to play it a little longer, if you slap me away immediately, it will look as if I'm lousy at flirting and not worth any attention. We need them to believe you can resist a temptation. "Niko turned his head slightly.

"I know... we must play..." he whispered back." So, show me, prove me that you're better.” Niko said louder that time.

Kamil took a deep breath, trying to hide it from Niko, then he gave him a smile that he hoped was suggestive without being lecherous at the same time.

"Let's go with me, I have a table at the back, a nice place, without so many eyes intruding our privacy. We could ... talk?" He raised his eyebrows. "And if you want, we can dance. I can bet anything you're a wonderful dancer, with a body like that." He ran the tips of his fingers along his arm, the one that was closer to him.

The touch made Niko shiver and want more, he had to keep telling himself that it was only a game.
"Alright, we can talk," he nodded his head, "perhaps we can even dance." He said with a smile tilting his head to the side.

Kamil continued running his fingertips along Niko’s arm, enjoying the touch of the hot skin. His hand began to move more slowly, the movements started to vary more, his fingers drawing small circles.

"So let's go," Kamil interlaced his fingers hit his, tugging slightly at Niko’s hand.

"I want to ... talk to you ... so much..." Kamil thought he sounded like…. an exemplary pervert.

"Lead the way," Niko spoke whit husky voice, enjoying the feel of Kamil’s hand in his far too much.

They sat down in front of the table. Kamil leaned towards Niko as if he wanted to continue flirting, and he kept the seductive smile on his face.

"This is positively creepy, Niko. They are watching you like hungry hawks would eye a tasty, fat chicken."

"I know... and it is creepy, I have to wonder about the rumours that they have of me..." Niko whispered, also trying to look as if they were flirting. Niko tilted his head to the side and rested his arms on the table. "Are they still there?" He asked, keeping his voice low.

Kamil leaned a bit, to get a better look, but made it discreet enough not to be too obvious. Then he leaned back to Niko, his face so close to his that if he were to lean just a little bit more, he could kiss him.

"They are. And they are still watching, stupid perverts." He thought for a moment, then whispered to Niko, "Push me away." And he kissed his lips; nothing like to a shove-a-tongue-in-his-throat, just lips against lips. His hand wandered on Niko's arm and slide up to his shoulder.

In all truth, the last thing that Niko wanted, was to push Kamil away, but he knew he had to, so he willed himself to do it.

"Who said that you could kiss me?" He asked whit a grin, leaning back.

"Your eyes did, gorgeous," Kamil grinned at him. "And they were begging for it, too ... but if you don't want ..." He leaned away from him just a bit and shot a quick glance towards the groper, who still watched them carefully. He then took a sip of his drink, trying to pretend that he was a player who was just thinking of another strategy to get inside Niko's pants.

Niko licked his lips, trying to calm himself down.

"Oh my eyes told you that, did they? And what are my eyes telling you now?"

"Hm ... let me think, they are telling me ... you want to dance with me really bad ..." Kamil grinned and added with a whisper; "It will give you some more oportunity to slap me away."

"Yes," Niko whispered. "Well, I do like to dance, so, let’s go." He stood up, and smiled at his friend.

Kamil stood up with him and took his hand once more, the alcohol he had drank made him a bit bolder. He pulled Niko towards the dance floor looking in his eyes as they moved, smiling and getting a curious smile back.

Niko listened to the beat of the music, feeling Kamil’s hand in his own and he wanted… wanted to try if, even if it was only a game, even if… well Niko wanted Kamil to want him the way that he wanted Kamil.

The dance was a fast one, but Kamil enjoyed the beat of the music that made his blood run faster. He saw Niko next to him, in front of him, his body moving in perfect harmony with the music. Then he felt his touch on his waist, a tentative touch, for a moment Kamil forgot that it was only a game, a set up.He reached his hands to him, grabbing Niko’s wrists and pulling him closer to him, but not letting their bodies touch.

Niko was getting lost in the moment more and more, sensations were taking him over, he looked into Kamil’s eyes and knew right away that it had been a mistake, simply because he was feeling so much more than he should. He was regretting his previous carelessness, the meaningless one night stands that always left him feeling hollow inside. With a man like Kamil, it could be so much more, it would be meaningful.

Then Kamil remembered why they were there; he had to pretent to be coming onto Niko and so far he hadn’t done a very convincing job. He pulled Niko even closer to himself, his hands coming to rest on Niko’s waist, his head lowered a little, until his face was hidden in the crook of his neck, between his head and shoulder. He sniffed a little, smelling the fresh smell of his skin. He had to remind himself not to get carried away with it, he only wanted to help Niko out of trouble and he wanted to keep him as a friend so he shouldn’t spoil it with some really irresponsible behaviour.

‘A game, a game,’ Niko thought. It had become like some kind of mantra to him; it was only a game, not real. He pulled away from Kamil, but stayed close, closing his eyes and listening to the music, he turned his back to Kamil, secretly hoping to feel his touch once more.

Kamil swallowed the saliva that had suddenly filled his mouth, he shouldn’t be doing this, shouldn’t. But he wanted to help him, he had to be convincing… ‘Excuses, Kamil, and pretty weak ones!’ He told himself. His hands reached out for him again, pulling him back to him, his face pressing against the back of his head, then against his neck and he was tempted to kiss it, but this would be going too far, or would it? He closed his eyes for a second and brused his lips against Niko’s skin, feeling the warmth of it, and then he remembered once more! “Niko,” he whispered, “you must push me away.”

And once again Niko had to will himself to do it, he moved away from Kamil, turned around and shook his head as a no, though his mind kept screaming YES.

Kamil shrugged his shouldes like a player who knew that he could wait until the right moment arrived, but he had a blank mind. It was good that Niko was the more responsible one for the both of them now, if he hadn’t pulled away, Kamil would have tried more and this was not something that they had in plans for that evening. This evening was about Niko showing the vultures he was NOT someone easy to get.

The next song as a slower one and Niko was unsure what to do, should he continue dancing? Should he push Kamil away completely? And if he was to leave, would he get home safely? He looked at Kamil in order to find the answers to his questions. What next?

Kamil threw a glance at Niko, then he looked at the vultures, with the groper among them. So, they wanted to see what would happen between Niko and him? Once again Kamil pulled him closer, this time being more decisive about it; Niko needed to show them that he seriously wasn’t going to let him do whatever it was that he wanted to do to him. And lord help him, but oh how he wanted to do this! His hands went to Niko’s buttocks and he pulled him flush against him. And part of his mind was screaming at him not to do this, that it was stupid, but Niko’s body felt good against his own.

Niko was taken by surprise; Kamil was a good actor! If he didn’t know any better he’d think that Kamil truly wanted him! Niko placed his hands on Kamil’s chest. Pulling himself free; it was of no use, it was fake, not real.

“No,” he told him, making sure that it was clear enough for anyone watching that he was the one to pull away.

Kamil raised is hands in the 'I give up' gesture, showing him that he was not intending to touch him again. "Let's go back to the table," he suggested pointing with his head in that direction. Niko nodded, feeling dizzy with everything and he wasn’t sure if he should have said no, or not.

When they were passing the vultures, Kamil tried once more to reinforce the image of Niko being hard to get. He stopped and turned around.

"What do you say ... let's leave this party and go to my place?" He asked.

"To your place? To do what?" Niko asked, once again reminded of the reality of their game.

"We could find someting to keep us occupied with, to pass the time ... in an interesting way. What do you say, gorgeous? You and me?" Kamil thought that he was being way too suggestive, but… if it was going to help him… There was only one problem; how was he going to look into Niko’s face again? Without getting embarrased?

“So you want to have sex with me?” Niko asked as bluntly as he could
"Yes, sex, we're both adults," Kamil smiled, feeling at the same time weird, imagining Niko and himself on his bed ... ‘God, Kamil, you're NOT going to do that! That's your flat mate! Stop this immediately!’ His mind was screaming at him.

"Yes, we're both adults, but do not think that I'll let you in my bed just like that, if sex is what your after for this night, then go and find someone else for it," It felt so weird saying that, knowing that Kamil was far from this person that he was now playing.

"Awww ... gorgeous, you don't know what you're missing ..." Kamil moved away from him and walked to the counter to order himself some soft drink; he needed to cool off. He only hoped that the vultures would leave Niko alone. He should go home now.

Niko went to get his jacket and left the club. It was much chillier now than before. He wrapped his arms around himself. He felt confused. Then he heard that someone was following him, Kamil? He looked back and saw that it was Matt, so he hurried his steps.

"Hey, wait, Niko... I have something to tell you." Niko kept walking.

“What ever it is; I am not interested!” He snapped back.

"Aw, but Niko...wait," Matt was right behind him, grasping his arm and pulling him close.

“What was that?” Matt asked him.

“What was what? Let go of me.” Niko tried to pull his arm free in vain.

“With that guy you were with.”

“Nothing, just some guy, now let go, I want to go home and sleep.” Matt pulled him closer and kissed him forcefully. Niko struggled in his hold. “Let go,” Niko tried again between the kisses and the groping.


Kamil sipped the juice that he had ordered, seeing Niko leave the club, but almost at the same time he saw the groper follow him. He left the glass on the counter and got out of the club. He looked around, it was dark and he couldn’t see where they were, but then he heard something. He got close enough to hear their conversation, at least the end of it.

The groper was really starting to piss Kamil off. He decided to intervene, feeling anger rising in him and demanding that he’d do something about it. He walked over to them and pulled the guy off from struggling Niko.

"Haven't you heard the word 'NO'?” He asked him with barely suppressed fury.

"Look here, you had your chance and lost it. This is between us now, so get lost." Matt told him taking a hold of Niko’s arm once more. "Niko and I have some unfinished business."

"Maybe I lost my chance, but so did you, it seems, so let him go!" Kamil snarled at the groper, getting closer. "Not taking to refusal too kindly, are you?"

Niko managed to pull himself free. He watched as Matt walked closer to Kamil, eyeing him dangerously.

"Some people just can't mind their own business, can they? Do you want to fight me, huh?" Matt smirked.

"Stop it Matt, you’re being an arse." Niko tried to interrupt and to pull him away.

"And some obviously can't get any if they aren't nearly raping someone," Kamil snarled again, really seeing red. "Get the fuck out of my sight, you sick bastard! Seeing you makes me want to puke! And leave Niko alone, he already regrets having slept with you! Besides, he's too good for you!" Kamil was yelling at the groper and Niko looked at the pair in some kind of shock. Matt laughed then.

"You can't rape a slut," He said giving a glance towards Niko, who at that moment finally lost it; he had had enough. He raised his arm up and hit Matt, he had never hit anyone before, but this time he felt that it was right. Matt’s nose began to bleed.

“I’m not a slut!” He said firmly, breathing tensely.

"Fuck, you fuucking..." Matt started to curse at him.

Kamil’s heart leaped with satisfaction at the sight of Niko standing up for himself and hitting the groper straight in the face. When Matt took a step closer to Niko, Kamil decided that enogh was enough and he punched him in the face as hard as he could. He heard the sickly sound when his fist contacted with his nose. Matt bent over, his hands coming to his nose once more.

"I guess you can't beat the one who definitely wants the beating ..." Kamil said, his breathing coming hard with the anger, his knuckles hurting like bitch. "Come on, Niko, let's leave the idiot."
Looking at the sight of Matt and his bleeding nose made Niko feel quite satisfied. He nodded his head, smiling at Kamil.

“Let’s go,” He agreed and they continued their journey home, side by side. Both feeling slightly confused about everything, about the unspoken feelings that now were between them.

CHAPTER 4.  Questions Without Answers

Returning home took Niko and Kamil shorter time than they would like to, confusion swirling in their heads; both of them felt the need to really think deeply of what had happened between them. Had anything happened at all or was it just a part of the set-up?

Entering the apartment, Niko smiled at Kamil. “Thank you for your help,” he managed to say with a normal voice despite the fact that this was not what he wanted to say.

“No problem,” Kamil answered, a little bit distracted by his own thoughts that were straying into the area they shouldn’t stray at all. This was his friend! “Let's hope he got his clue,” he finished with a small, reassuring smile.

“Yeah, he'd be pretty dumb if he didn't ... Um well he's ... ugh, I have no idea what I was thinking that night when I ...” Niko responded, his face getting redder and redder as he unsuccessfully tried to explain what he meant. Now even thinking about Matt … made him nauseous. “Despite the circumstances, I had fun tonight,” he added, nodding firmly, then started to take off his jacket and shoes. “Mind if I use the shower first?”

“No, not at all,” Kamil clearly looked as if he was thinking deeply about something and Niko felt unsure. Was he thinking of the humiliation he had to go through in the club? Was he angry with Niko for his stupid one night stand with Matt? Kamil didn’t say anything else, just disappeared into the kitchen after having taken off his shoes and leaving his own jacket on the coat hanger. Niko sighed loudly; his flat mate wasn’t easy to read at all. And Niko would give a lot to know what exactly Kamil was thinking of so deeply.

In the bathroom Niko undressed and got into the tub, starting to wash himself thoroughly. The hot water felt good against his skin but he barely noticed it, drowned in his thoughts. Kamil, that was what was in his head; he knew his crush on this Polish student was growing and he wished badly, really badly that his flat mate felt for him the same way he did. And at the same time he knew he didn’t stand a chance. It was hard to admit to himself that he probably meant nothing to Kamil, that he was no more than a friend. It was even harder after this evening; he came to his rescue and had offered his help the previous night and … felt so good against Niko when they danced on the dance floor in the club, when he touched Niko, when his breath was warming the sensitive skin of Niko’s nape.

‘Stop it, Niko, stop dreaming! It was just a set-up, it was all that there was to him!’ Niko berated himself in his head, finishing the bath and putting on a white, fluffy bathrobe. Then he decided to go into the kitchen and … what exactly did he want to do there?

When Kamil entered the small kitchen, he automatically put the kettle on the cooker, then sat down on one of the chairs and hid his face in his hands. This evening was so damn confusing to him! He could only think of what he felt when holding Niko against him, of how good he smelled, how … close he himself was to being aroused, really, uncomfortably close!

‘God, the last thing I need now is to become involved with my flat mate. He has had enough of unwanted attention from the groper, he needs to be left alone, to get over the meaningless, casual sex ...’ he tried to reason out in his head but his body seemed to laugh at this. Even thinking now about Niko left him half hard already and …

Water boiled. Thoughtlessly, Kamil just turned off gas and left the kettle on the cooker, too deep in his own world where he was still dancing with Niko. His little day dream was interrupted by Niko entering the kitchen in a white bathrobe – and probably nothing else under it, Kamil remarked in his head, swallowing heavily.

“Would you like some tea?” Niko asked, reaching for the kettle and almost scalding his hand with it.

“Be careful, the water boiled a few minutes ago,” Kamil muttered. “And yes, please.” He followed Niko’s graceful movements with his eyes, trying to control his own rebellious body.

‘Damn! I was aroused many times by watching guys and I learnt to deal with unwanted erections but seeing Niko in this bathrobe, knowing he is naked under it …uhh … I’m NOT into casual sex, have never been! Why now? Why so suddenly?’ Kamil rubbed his face tiredly when Niko’s bending a little cause stirring in his groin. He sighed. ‘Just great!’

“With lemon?” Niko asked him again, taking out two tea bags out of the box and putting them into the mugs, then pouring the once again boiling water into them. He smiled proudly, remembering how Kamil liked his tea fixed.

“Yes, please,” Kamil answered hoarsely, surprised with the sound of his own voice, so uncharacteristic of him, so full of … uhhh …

“Are you alright?” Niko asked a bit unsure; Kamil had this funny expression on his face and his voice was a little bit husky. Maybe he drank too much? He said he was not accustomed to alcohol. Though … Niko still didn’t think this was the real cause.

“Yes,” Kamil replied, his voice still hoarse. He cleared his throat, trying to pretend that THIS was the real reason for his strange voice and not … those little, enticing images he kept having all the time while Niko was happily moving around the kitchen in this damn, more revealing than hiding bathrobe!

“Ok,” Niko said carefully, putting a slice of lemon into Kamil’s mug. He also added two teaspoons of sugar and set the mug in front of him. Kamil thanked him with a small nod and after stirring the tea and squeezing the juice out of the lemon with the teaspoon, started to slowly sip the hot drink.

Niko himself became used to having his tea with lemon but he prepared it a bit differently. Instead of letting the slice float in the drink, he dipped it a few times and then squeezed with his fingers, allowing the juice to drip into the tea. Then he nipped at the remains of the fruit, sucking the juice. “I love lemon,” he explained seeing Kamil goggle a little and licked his lips.

‘You devil …’ Kamil thought to himself, watching entranced as Niko continued sucking on the remnants of the lemon slice and then licking his fingers clean.

“Now they’re not sticky,” Niko explained as he took the sip of his tea.

Kamil swallowed heavily; he heard Niko speak but the meaning didn’t reach the lonesome brain cell that was left in his skull after the show Niko had put on. He desperately wanted … no, NEEDED to leave the kitchen, before Niko could see his very prominent erection.

‘Is he doing it on purpose?’ he thought desperately. He felt as if something in him was about to snap; he wanted to return to his room, to … deal with his problem and have it over with. This was all Niko’s fault, that sucking on his fingers did it. He took a sip of his tea, not even taking the notice of its taste or the fact that it was still quite hot, all the time seeing in his imagination the visions of what they could both do … ‘No!’

Niko noticed how oddly quiet Kamil had been for some time and he immediately felt guilty. He forced his friend into a situation no straight guy would ever want to be in. “It felt odd to you, didn’t it?” he asked carefully.

Kamil took a moment before he chose to respond with a small shake of his head. He knew he should say ‘yes’ and leave the things as they were but he despised lies so with the shake of his head came a quiet, “No.”

“No?” Niko was surprised; he thought that Kamil had an evening of mental torture and now he said ‘no’? “I'm glad then,” he replied once again very carefully, still not sure what to think about Kamil’s words. “I thought that ... hm, that you hated every second and that you were just so darn good at acting the part …” he straightened his arms and the robe which he tied a bit loosely, opened, revealing his torso. “Ups, sorry,” he reached for the belt to tie it more tightly around his waist.

Kamil watched avidly as the white fluffy fabric slid down Niko’s shoulders and then arms and when Niko was trying to fix it, this something in him snapped finally. And his brain switched off, too, apparently because the next thing he noticed about himself was that he was kneeling in front of Niko, with his hands on the other’s knees.

Niko was also taken aback with this turn of events; just a moment ago Kamil was quietly sitting on his chair, sipping his tea and now he was … ‘How much did I drink anyway?’ he questioned himself in his head. Was it him or were Kamil’s hands … here, touching him and even though it was his knees that he was touching, it was a willing touch! “Uhhuh?” was the only thing he managed to utter, his eyes first locking with Kamil’s brown ones, hidden behind those glasses of his and the sliding down to the hands that were resting on his knees. He was afraid to say anything, not to scare Kamil away, not to blurt out anything that was currently filling his thoughts.

When Niko produced this … sound … Kamil looked up, catching the glimpse of sparkling green irises before Niko chose to break the visual contact and instead looked at his hands. Hands that were resting on Niko’s knees but now were squeezing them more and more tightly. Hands that could …

Kamil reached for the fabric of Niko’s bathrobe where it was falling open, revealing the other’s chest. He felt the soft roughness of it, and he pulled Niko forward, closer to himself, so close that their lips were just inches apart, no more. He flicked his gaze over the lips that were now tempting him with the promise of a kiss.

Niko felt his heart beat madly when Kamil started pulling him closer; it was getting harder for him to breathe, harder to control his own hands that wanted to touch Kamil so bad, though he was still hesitating. What if this was just a dream? What if Kamil moved away, pushed him away? Being inches away from the lips he wanted to kiss, he felt the other’s breathing and shivered visibly from want, allowing himself to be pulled closer still until their noses came in contact, rubbing against each other.

This unexpected movement made Kamil shift, the only outcome of this being a brief kiss, a touch of two pairs of lips, lasting a couple of seconds maybe but having electrifying effects on both of them. Yet Kamil withdrew, this being too new to him, too … and he looked up into the green eyes that now were much darker.

Niko felt his breath catch in his throat when he felt Kamil kiss him. This was a kiss, maybe accidental, but a kiss nonetheless and … it gave him the courage to do what he did next. He lifted his hands to Kamil’s brown hair, his fingers playing with it, running through it slowly, discovering its softness with touch at last and not with sight. He let his fingers run towards Kamil’s neck, stroking the skin there, his lips open, his breathing coming fast now. He let his thighs open a bit, letting Kamil get closer still to him.

Kamil felt as if he was enchanted; his right hand traveled to Niko’s forearm and then up, to his shoulder, finally reaching to Niko’s nape and pulling him closer until he could again feel the other’s lips against his. This time, however, he didn’t withdraw. He didn’t want to.

Niko couldn’t stop a small moan when Kamil kissed him for the second time; this was what filled his dreams and daydreams recently, and now they were coming true. He responded to the kiss, opening more to it, accepting it and then answering to it with eagerness as his tongue started exploring the inside of Kamil’s mouth. He was trembling all over, his hands moved to Kamil’s shoulders, stroking them lightly, then traveling further to the back, touching, squeezing, feasting almost. He wanted …

It was pleasant, it was more than that, it was making Kamil go crazy. He wanted to do the same and his hands met the fabric of the bathrobe; the bathrobe that was now opened again, taunting him with the promise of hot, smooth skin. He hesitated for just a brief second before his hands slid inside and met the skin.

Niko moaned once more into the kiss and then, breaking it for a moment, his own hands untying the belt of the bathrobe, letting it fall open completely, waiting for the other to make the next move, to decide what could happen next. He felt warm all over, hot even when Kamil looked at him.

Still kneeling in front of Niko, Kamil felt two opposing things when seeing the bathrobe fly open. Yes, he felt a wave of desire so strong that he felt pain and he was scared with it, scared because Niko was his friend. He stood up, making Niko stand as well and took a step away, still not looking away for even a moment. He bit his lip; all he wanted to do was to get back where he was but … no, too early, too fresh, Niko needed time, they both barely got back from the club where Niko was trying to prove he was not easy and now Kamil himself was no better than the vultures!

Niko felt weird suddenly; just a moment ago they were kissing and he felt wanted and now, suddenly, he felt embarrassed with the bathrobe open like that, with Kamil who took a step back and looked as if he was having second thoughts about it. ‘Maybe … he doesn’t like what he sees?’ Niko glanced uncertainly at his flat mate, his hands clutching at the bathrobe and slowly bringing it back together, to cover himself.

This made Kamil realize two things; he didn’t want Niko to cover himself and that it was probably him that made Niko do it. Which, of course, brought guilt again. He closed the distance between them once more, biting his lip, seeing the uncertain expression on Niko’s face and then reaching for the bathrobe and closing it himself. “Niko …” he choked out; even speaking was difficult in his state. “Don't get me wrong, I like what I see, I want what I see, but I have too much respect for you, you're my friend. I don't want to spoil it.” Even saying this felt wrong; what he felt now was too complicated. How could he explain that he wanted Niko, really wanted but at the same time, he was too important as a friend to lose him because of a not-thought-out fling?

Niko looked at him, biting his lip and wanting to scream ‘Spoil it! Spoil it! Live a little!! It doesn’t have to spoil anything!’ Instead, he sighed. “Yeah,” he whispered, feeling dejected. “So … I should go to bed …” he muttered, a bitter feeling of rejection taking over him. He had never been rejected like that, not when … He walked past Kamil, towards the door, trying not to hurry too much. “Good night.”

He left the kitchen, not waiting for the answer, getting to his own room and falling onto the bed. ‘He doesn’t want me, he just said ... he said those things because he doesn't want to be mean. '... I have too much respect for you...' ’ This line played all over in Niko’s head, making him feel worse and worse. ‘He saw what happened, he thinks I'm a slut and that's it. He doesn't want to touch a male slut. And now I’m a crybaby as well.’

Left in the kitchen alone, Kamil was unsuccessfully trying to cool off, to shake the arousal off but his own body proved to be difficult to control. He sighed exasperatedly, deciding to hole up in his own room and maybe do something about it. He slowly dragged his feet towards his own room but passing the door to Niko’s room, he heard wet sniffing.

‘Is he … crying? Did I hurt him so much?’ Kamil decided to open the door and check up on Niko, for the first time opening the door without knocking. He saw Niko lying on his bed, looking miserable and crushed and the sight of it made him feel hurt as well.

“Niko …” he whispered, quickly coming closer to bed and kneeling in front of it. “I’m …”

Niko had an impression that this evening was going from bad to worse. First he was rejected by Kamil and now Kamil saw him crying like a woman … He quickly wiped his tears and sat up on the bed. “I understand …” he muttered, his voice sounding hoarse with tears, his eyes refusing to meet Kamil’s.

“No, you don’t,” Kamil shook his head, then cleared his throat. “You think I’ve rejected you, right?”

“Um … yeah …” Niko didn’t see the point of it. It was clear to him that Kamil didn’t want to touch him so it was rejection, plain and simple.

“Do you trust me?” Kamil asked, wanting to atone for what he had caused. Niko lay motionlessly for a few moments before he nodded his head. “So wait for me here, I'll be right back.”

He quickly stood up and rushed out of the room, leaving Niko confused but feeling slightly better. ‘What is he up to?’

In his room Kamil quickly stripped off his clothes, noticing miserably that his arousal was far from gone … but this would actually help the situation now. He quickly took his drawstring pants, put them on, then grabbed his pillow and returned to Niko’s room. “Can I … sleep with you?”

Niko was surprised with this question; he didn’t misunderstand it, the pillow Kamil was holding told him that his flat mate really wanted to just sleep with him, nothing more. He nodded his head while at the same time standing up from the bed. “Yes,” he answered without thinking. “Just let me change, this bathrobe isn't that comfortable to sleep in.”

Kamil flashed him a smile and threw his pillow onto the bed, then watched Niko as he took out a pair of light sleeping pants out of his wardrobe and changed into them while still wearing his bathrobe. Finn was still afraid to reveal himself completely; just ten minutes ago the sight of him naked scared Kamil and he wasn’t willing to repeat the same mistake. So only when his sleeping pants were on, did he take off his bathrobe, letting it fall onto the floor next to the bed. Then he lay down on the bed, leaving some room for Kamil, who joined him, lying down on his side, facing Niko.

This was the first time he had ever shared a bed with someone since … well, he used to share his bed with his cousins when he was younger and they visited him but that was it and it didn’t happen since he was ten. He gave Niko a brief smile and rubbed his nose with his own.

“Sleep, Swedish kid. Good night,” he said mischievously, remembering Niko telling him about his nickname.

It also felt strange to Niko, to be in bed with someone, with the sole purpose of sleeping and sleeping only. He realized it had been a while since he last had someone in bed, someone willing to sleep next to him and not … “Good night thief,” he teased Kamil back, grinning a bit.

Kamil closed his eyes for a moment; the warmth coming from Niko wasn’t helping his arousal at all and he regretted that he hadn’t taken care of it before he came to Niko’s bed. He didn’t even know when his hand reached for Niko, snaking around him, bringing him closer to his body, then drawing small circles on his side, eliciting gasps from Finn.

Niko found the sensation of Kamil’s touch ticklish on his skin and fought to keep a giggle back. His hand wandered to the body that was lying next to him, first resting on Kamil’s waist for a short moment and then moving more towards the back until Niko could feel every vertebra of Kamil’s spine under his fingertips. He ran them slowly up, the down, curious of the body, enjoying the contact. He kept his eyes closed, afraid that if he opened them, everything would be gone, Kamil would be gone.

Niko’s hand on his naked skin made Kamil sigh loudly and it sounded almost like a moan. In addition to his now really hurting erection he began having the most ticklish sensation in his stomach and every breath he took only strengthened it. He cracked his eyes open, looking at Niko’s face and then closing the distance between their mouths, brushing Niko’s lips delicately, to let him know he didn’t feel weirded out by their closeness. The almost electric sensation that ran through him informed him he should stop doing it unless he was decided to go for it. And Kamil still wasn’t, not fully.

“I thought you were straight,” Niko whispered when their lips came apart, opening his eyes and looking into Kamil’s brown ones that were now so close they looked strangely huge. ‘This … could be … something … serious?’ he thought to himself, still drawing patterns on Kamil’s back with his fingertips; he loved it when someone did it to him and expected that it was equally pleasurable to the other one.

“I never said I was,” he heard the answer and felt Kamil’s hand start to draw similar patterns on his abdomen.

“No, you never said you were but I thought …” Niko sighed and then leaned closer to Kamil, laying butterfly kisses on the skin over his neck, then the hollow patch between the collarbones. He felt aroused doing just this, just kissing and feeling the clean smell of the skin and being able to touch and not being pushed away. Strangely, everything about the other boy made him excited and all of a sudden he felt like a virgin, a silly thought but he …

“Yeah ... I wasn't advertising the fact that I am gay, either ...” Kamil admitted, the small, tantalizing touches of Niko’s lips spreading fire across his skin along their path. “If you keep doing that, we're not going to get much sleep ...” he only half-joked.

“Don't you know the saying: ‘death settles sleep deep’?” Niko snickered a bit as he continued laying the languid kisses. “Sooo …” he kissed Kamils’ neck again, sucking on the skin a little, not enough to leave a mark.

“No …” Kamil almost moaned again and his hand traveled to Niko’s small of the back. “Explain …” he demanded while kissing the soft mop of Niko’s hair.

“Well, at least in my country there is a saying; kuolema kuittaa univelan: death settles sleep deep,” he moved his head so as to be able to look in Kamil’s eyes again, his own green eyes sparkling a little. “So, when we live, we should spend more time awake, because when we die ... what does it matter how much we rested? Okay it's a crappy explain, but I'm trying.” He smiled at his bed companion, his hand going lower on Kamil’ back.

“Hm … interesting …” Kamil responded, not really knowing if he meant the proverb or the sensations caused by Niko’s hand. He pulled the other one so close to himself that he could feel Niko’s erection brushing against his. Still, a sliver of hesitancy … Should he?

“Can I touch you?” Niko asked him then as if reading his thoughts. Finn wanted to do this so bad but at the same time was afraid to scare Kamil with rushing up, afraid to ruin everything. He knew his flat mate fairly well by now and knew the other one was not like that but at the same time he fought with himself, with his own want. “This ... you ... are important Kamil. I- I like you, want to ...” he swallowed the rest of the sentence, too afraid to finish it. “Can I?” he asked again, tentatively, his hand moving in front of the waistband of Kamil’s drawstring pants.

The question was echoing in Kamil’s brain. ‘Can I? Can I? Can I?’ and it was not Niko’s question anymore but his own. ‘Can I let him? Can I let myself? I came here to SLEEP with him, just sleep and this ... but on the other hand, if I say ‘no’ to him again ... How many times can I say ‘no’? He looked in Niko’s eyes that were begging him to say ‘yes’ and with that he made up his mind.

“I want you to touch me. Please.”

Finally, not hesitating any further, Niko’s hand delved inside the gray sweatpants, quickly finding what it was looking for, the warm hardness, feeling velvety and … Niko closed his hand around Kamil’s erection, as if measuring it and then stroked it a couple of times, firmly. Then he felt that some lubrication could be in order so withdrawing his hand from the other’s pants and bringing it close to his mouth, he spitted on it, then quickly resumed what he had been doing a little bit earlier. With his other hand he tried to take Kamil’s pants off and succeeded, lowering them below the hips, freeing the other’s erection and allowing himself better access. He grinned seeing how ready Kamil seemed to be. He leaned closer, to give him a kiss, a longer and deeper one than the previous ones they shared between them, feeling turned on more by the second.

A moan spilled from Kamils’ lips and drowned within Niko’s mouth; he felt the urgent need to shift his hips in tandem with Niko’s hand, almost too eager to get more friction, more of … everything. He felt hungry all of a sudden and couldn’t help the fact that his body chose to betray him, actually begging for more with those small shifts. At the same time his hand that was resting on Niko’s small of the back, started to make rotating movements, slow, rhythmical. Kamil still felt as if there were two persons within him, one wild and getting more impatient and wanting with every second, the other saying: ‘He's friend, just a friend, this is sex, with no deeper feelings, you'll destroy friendship with this.’ But he knew both he himself and Niko wanted it, he needed it and so did Niko, if he felt it correctly. “Niko ...” he moaned the other boy’s name.

This was the thing that made Niko bolder with his actions and he decided to take Kamil’s sweatpants completely off, then taking in the slim, firm body that was lying next to him. You're beautiful, Kamil,” he whispered with admiration audible in his voice, making Kamil look straight at him despite the desire that was clouding his head and was making him close his eyes and throw his head back. “Don't be scared,” he continued remembering his earlier words. “This won't have to ruin anything, not if we won't let it,” he reassured the other one while his hand kept stroking his erection and then for a moment it cupped the testicles, rolling them gently, then getting back to the now weeping with pre-come member.

Kamil’s breathing kept getting harder and faster, all his muscles starting to shiver with the expected bliss and yet he couldn’t help feeling surprised at least a bit; he did masturbate, this was unavoidable if you were a healthy twenty-one year old single male but it NEVER felt like this, it was never this satisfying, this intense. And he also felt that he would come really soon; his arousal lasted too long for this to be a nice, prolonged session of … whatever, he knew he was going to come and gasped, trying to warn the other. “Niko …” he managed to choke out. “There’s … gonna be … a mess …” This said, he felt the wave of release rush through him, for a moment taking him away with it, making him forget about everything around him.

“Don’t worry about it,” Niko chuckled, though he didn’t expect Kamil to hear him. Even if he did, the meaning certainly didn’t reach his brain because he didn’t respond to it. Niko lifted his come-stained hand, cleaning it with his tongue and then taking care of the stains on Kamil’s belly in exactly the same way. “All clean now,” he flashed a smile at Kamil who had just opened his eyes, slowly coming down from the orgasm high.

“You're really the cleaning type, Niko,” Kamil chuckled a bit breathlessly, seeing and feeling how Niko took care of the mess he made.

Niko looked up at him, then grinned, traveling up and giving Kamil a kiss on his cheek. “You taste good.”

“Better than my food?”

“If I told you yes, what would you say?” Niko asked philosophically, though a mischievous glint lit up his eyes. “You taste good, and you cook well, even though, the Polish stuff ... something I- ... something I would get used to, Kamil, if you only let me,” again, he felt a little bit insecure, not knowing how the other would react to his words but he needed to say them. He bit his lip, his body now demanding attention as well, and pressed a little closer to Kamil, making the other notice his insistent hardness, or rather remember about it.

Kamil smiled, feeling Niko’s erection press against his thigh and reached with his hand, palming it through the thin, soft fabric of pajama pants, eliciting small gasps from the other boy. “Don’t want to be selfish,” he whispered into Niko’s ear, then added, “Lie on your back.”

Niko happily obliged, with a whispered, “As you wish …” his voice hoarse with need, his eyes half opened, gazing at Kamil with a barely restrained desire.

Kamil looked at him for a few seconds, taking the note of the slightly slimmer figure, then smiled again, reaching to Niko’s hips, massaging them, his hand getting under the hem of the pajama pants, going deeper and deeper, touching the firm mound of Niko’s buttock as far as his hand could reach – which wasn’t really that deep. He found even the thin fabric obstructing so he ordered jokingly. “Lift your hips, Swedish kid, we need to get rid of those.”

“Swedish kid, please, Kamil, not you too? Do I have to ... spank you to make it right?” Niko grinned as he lifted his hips slightly from the bed, allowing Kamil to pull them down a bit, exposing him to the other boy. For once he didn’t mind being called this nickname, actually it sounded … fitting, somehow.

Kamil felt just a bit lost for a moment; he had just one boyfriend before Niko – not that Niko was his boyfriend – and was not terribly experienced in matters of sex. He knew basics and had some practice, and he was not a virgin but still … he decided to do whatever felt good to him, assuming it would also feel good to his friend. Setting himself over Niko’s thighs but not squishing Niko with his weight, he reached for his erection, giving it a few tentative strokes with his fingertips, from the root to the tip, making Niko gasp and lift his hips instantly. He couldn’t help but wonder how long Niko must have been waiting for this if a mere butterfly touch made him react this way. He frowned; was he blind not having noticed anything earlier? Then he shook his head slightly, returning to the task at hand, smiling at Niko again as his hand ran up and down the other’s member. “Is it ok?” he asked with his eyebrows raised.

“Very ok … feels good …” Niko moaned trying to control the movement of his hips but failing miserably and hoping Kamil would not mind it much.

“That’s good,” Kamil felt a bit more certain about what he was doing, then he brought his hand to his mouth, licking the inside of his palm and providing some lubrication in this way, then bringing it back to Niko’s member and resuming the stroking – now the tugging – motion, all the time watching how the other reacted to every small touch, finding those little gasps and moans and even his faster breathing arousing beyond belief. Not breaking the up-and-down movement, he leant forward, supporting his weight with his other hand that he had put next to Niko’s shoulder, and gave him a lingering kiss, finishing it with a lick along his lower lip, finding even the taste arousing. Seriously, he felt like the biggest sex maniac in the world at that moment. He had just come himself, less than ten minutes ago and … again?!

Niko felt like in a small, private paradise, not really believing this was happening to him but he could feel it WAS so he decided to enjoy every second of it, bringing his hands into Kamil’s hair, keeping the other one close and not letting him move away while his mouth was mapping Kamil’s jaw and then throat with small kisses while his hips were urging Kamil to keep the steady rhythm.

“You … feel … good … this all …” he panted brokenly, freeing Kamil from his grasp, instead wanting to look into the brown eyes, to show him how utterly good it felt to him. He didn’t remember when last it felt so good to him; maybe that’s why he was … searching? And … found at last?

“Only good?” Kamil pouted jokingly. “I want to make it better than good! What can I do?” he asked, this time quite seriously.

“Hnnn …” Niko arched a little into the touch, feeling the intense waves of pleasure spread through him. And yet it was not enough, he wanted Kamil to make it even better for him. “I’d like it … if you undressed me … Can you … take it off?” he asked, pointing to his pajama pants, worrying his lower lip with his teeth.

Kamil slid off his thighs, allowing himself free access to the pants and removing them in the instant. “Any other wishes?”

“Nnn … yes … can you … lay against me?” Niko panted out, flushed bright red, pupils huge.

Kamil looked at him through the half closed eyes; he was already aroused by just watching Niko and now Niko was creating another temptation for him, a temptation he indeed craved. He did what he was asked to, careful not to smother Niko under him, supporting his weight on his forearms, his legs placed between Niko’s, while the other bent them in knees, creating a support for what he wanted to do. And he wanted to rub against Kamil.

“You’re pretty …” Kamil whispered, then pressed a hungry kiss on Niko’s lips, drawing again a long, though muffled moan from him. “Sooo …” he felt Niko’s erection rub against his and reflexively answered in the same way. Then a pair of hands rested on his buttocks, pressing him closer to the one below him.

“Move with me …” he heard a feverish whisper and this time rocked more decisively, making it deliberate. “Yes … like that … more, please …” This whisper was going to become his undoing, surely, it was already driving him mad with desperate need despite the fact that he had already come this evening. The thighs wrapped around him then and if he thought the whispers were dangerous, then THIS … He pushed his hips harder against Niko’s, taking a sudden breath and then nuzzling his cheek against Niko’s throat. “Would you …” he heard a tentative beginning of a question and raised his head to look into Niko’s eyes.

“Yes?” He asked, for a second ceasing his motion.

Niko felt as if he was burning, as if the only way to stop the burning sensation was to have Kamil inside him but … he didn’t know if Kamil would do this. He didn’t know anything about him. Was he a top? A bottom? Both? A virgin? Would he even agree to do what Niko wanted? Or would he go away and leave him like that?

“Would you …” he started again, still afraid. “Do you want to … inside? If not, then …” he immediately offered a way out for Kamil. This felt weird to him, to be so insecure about himself but at the same time this felt so good, so incredibly good he was unwilling to give up on this, he wanted everything.

Another surprise; Kamil felt a jolt of electricity inside his stomach at the thought he could … that Niko would allow him …

“I want,” he answered, really meaning it; he wanted, craved now to take the one under him and had to actually restrain himself from doing it right this moment. Biting painfully the inside of his cheek, making it bleeding he regained control over his too eager body and as patiently as he could, he asked. “Some lubrication? And ...”

Niko nodded his head. “My wardrobe … the third shelf from the top … behind clothes …” he instructed, feeling Kamil stand up, then immediately feeling a rush of cold air on his hot skin. He shivered slightly, watching as Kamil opened the door and started searching for the things that were hidden there and then as he pulled a small tube and a packet.

Kamil found the two things that were hidden, deciding to take both of them; it wasn’t as if he didn’t trust Niko … well, maybe … there was carefulness in him, too … Keeping them in hands, he turned back towards Niko who was lying on his bed, with his thighs spread, with his face flushed, so desirable, so utterly delicious at the moment that Kamil had to shake his head to get rid of the images in order to avoid … well, a catastrophe.

“If you don't want this … then ...” Niko misunderstood the gesture, immediately withdrawing, closing his thighs and cursing mentally at his stupidity. What did he do wrong this time?

“If I didn't want this, I wouldn't be here,” Kamil frowned a little, not understanding what caused this sudden change in Niko’s demeanor.

Ok … so maybe not everything was lost yet? Niko decided to open his thighs slightly, his uncertainty striking once again. “I want you to tell me if it’s ok … I want you to enjoy this … I want to make you enjoy this …”

“Niko …” Kamil rolled his eyes a bit and sighed. Did his friend have some kind of inferiority complex? “I'll be enjoying this if you enjoy it as well, and ONLY then, understood?”

“I'll enjoy this, knowing if you want this, do you want this?” Niko whispered once more, making Kamil laugh.

“Niko,” he grinned pointing towards his very erect member. “Just ... look at me! What do you see a little below my waist? Does it look like to you as if I’m not interested?”

Niko laughed a bit, too, feeling finally more secure about himself. “Ok ... Then what if I say that I want you inside me?”

“I would say my little guy is cheering at the idea,” Kamil snorted, sitting on the edge of bed and for a moment putting away the two things he brought from the wardrobe, then he leant over Niko and kissed him once more. He could swear this was beginning to feel very addictive, his friend’s mouth being so inviting, so generous that he couldn’t stop another moan.

When the kiss was broken, Niko panted out, “What do you want, Kamil? What do you want me to do?”

“There is this ... Swedish kid ...” Kamil looked at him, smiling. “Who is obsessively asking me questions. I want him to be quiet and just enjoy.”

“Ok, let’s shut the Swedish kid up and make him ... enjoy …” Niko nodded his head while grinning at Kamil.

“Though he can ... make some noise if he wants ...” Kamil once again kissed Niko, trailing his fingers down Niko’s chest towards this erection, giving it a slight, teasing brush.

“Can he?” Niko moaned back, wanting everything so bad; this felt so good and he never wanted this to stop and nothing really began yet, Kamil was still very much … outside.

“Yes, he can, whatever sounds are necessary,” his flat mate responded, reaching for the lube, unscrewing the tube and squeezing a dollop of transparent gel-like substance on his fingers, rubbing it a little and then bringing them against Niko’s opening, asking for permission with his eyes. “Especially if I hurt him, I want him to tell me to stop and wait.”

“He will … I will,” Niko assured with a small nod, feeling fingers massage the slick, gel-like substance around his entrance and then one finger slipping slowly inside him. “Not hurting, I want more.”

Kamil smiled, hearing and seeing the enthusiasm almost bursting from Niko and he continued the preparation, the finger going deeper and then withdrawing, a few times before he decided to add another finger. He withdrew the first finger completely and then joined it with the other, carefully pressing them both into the opening, pausing and waiting for Niko to accept the intrusion. “Ok?”

Niko signaled he was alright with a nod of his head, then reached for Kamil’s free hand and squeezed it a bit. This made the other stop the preparation and interlace his fingers with Niko’s, then bring it to his lips and slowly kiss his knuckles, one by one. No one had ever done it to Niko, no one! Not even … He swallowed thickly. “You have no idea how good it feels,” he said hoarsely. “Having you close like this …”

Kamil nodded his head, glad he wasn’t hurting Niko and slipping his two joined fingers inside, he started to stretch his opening, making a slight scissoring motion, then pushing his fingers deeper and repeating the scissoring motion again. He watched Niko’s face closely, looking for the signs of discomfort but found none so far. Two fingers, in and out, every ‘in’ being deeper than the previous one, though every one of them being just as slow and careful as he could make them. “Niko …” he whispered, though they were the only ones in the apartment. “Three?”

Three? Niko frowned a bit, not because he was hesitating but because for a moment he felt too lost within the sensation and didn’t know what Kamil was asking him about. Then he got it; Kamil was asking about three FINGERS and he almost snickered with his own spacing out. What other THREE things could his flat mate ask about? He nodded his head, seeing that Kamil was still waiting for some kind of answer. He felt the two fingers being withdrawn from him and he saw Kamil squeeze a fresh dollop of lube onto his fingers, once again rubbing them and then bringing them against his opening.

“Remember, if it hurts, I want ...” Kamil reminded him, slowly pushing the three fingers, knowing that this could be painful, that this was almost for certain painful. He noticed a slight wince on Niko’s face and stopped immediately. “Remember …” he reminded him, stopping and waiting.

Niko took a few deep breaths, trying to relax, knowing the pain would go away sooner and, when it dulled, he smiled at Kamil. He knew his limits and besides, Kamil was much gentler than others that he had been with. Only … well, HE was gentle, too but …

Millimeter by millimeter the fingers slid in and stayed there, making Niko used to the stretching intrusion though Kamil knew that even after the three fingers Niko couldn’t avoid pain. Seeing a shadow of it flash in Niko’s eyes again, Kamil reached for his hand, holding it. Apparently Niko didn’t plan on telling him that he felt painful; his hand though would tell Kamil everything, there was no way Niko could stop small reflexive movement of his fingers.

Three fingers were now all way in, preparing Finn for something bigger and Niko nodded his head indicating he was ready. Yet, his fingers still squeezed Kamil’s hand and he decided to wait.

“Go on, I trust you, I want you,” Niko whispered, encouraging his flat mate to finally do something; the wait was becoming unbearable. “You can go in.”

Kamil gave him a pointed look, clearly conveying the meaning, ‘Let me judge it.’ He waited a few moments longer, then – deeming it as stretched as it was only possible – he withdrew the fingers, reaching with his other hand for the small rectangular packet.

“Can you help me with this?” he grinned at Niko. “My fingers are slippery and I can’t open it.”

Niko snatched the packet from his hand and quickly ripped it open, then took the rolled condom and urging Kamil to sit up, he pulled it on his begging for attention member. Then, once again opening the tube of lubricant, he squeezed some of it out and spread it over the surface of the condom. Having done that he flashed a brief smile at Kamil, the smile that said: ‘Ok, everything’s READY!’

The touch of Niko’s hand, lubing his erection made Kamil moan quietly and almost lose all his control. Resorting once again to painful biting the inside of his cheek, he managed to regain the control and gritting his teeth from impatience, he asked. “Ni…ko … how … do you … want this?”

Niko frowned; he wanted to be able to see Kamil’s face when it contorted with pleasure, he wanted to see those brown eyes fill with passion and he wanted to kiss him. Which was only possible IF they were face to face. Yet … he decided to test Kamil a little, turning onto his stomach and lifting his bottom a bit up. “Is this … ok?”

No one could deny the fact that the sight WAS enticing and this position could actually feel more comfortable to Niko but somehow this felt wrong to Kamil; he frowned, then shook his head though his friend couldn’t see it in this position.

“Can we ... will you allow me to look at your face? I know it's more difficult and ...” he was stuttering now, “... but this is the first time we ... I prefer to see you, to know if I'm not ... hurting you.”

Niko smiled to himself, then turned around again, feeling not only surprised but also … relieved. “I was …” he reached with his hands to Kamil, starting to pull him down until the other boy was once again flush against him, nestled between his thighs. “… hoping … you’d say that.”

“Testing me, were you?” Kamil chuckled a little, lowering his head and kissing Niko briefly, not wanting this to be sex only but needing closeness as well. “Ready?” he asked when their lips came apart, lifting Niko’s legs, exposing him.

“Yes,” Niko answered with a small nod, once again pressing his hips up, this time with certainty his plea would be answered.

Positioning at his entrance, Kamil guided his erection towards it and before he started pushing, he smirked a little, using a line from his favorite film. “Here goes nothing …”

Despite Kamil going in slowly, Niko felt pain but gritted his teeth and didn’t say anything. He knew the beginning was always painful and he could do virtually nothing to change it, he could only wait for it to pass. Kamil was already as careful as one could be and Niko wanted him, wanted all of him inside.

For Kamil it was like ascent somewhere very high, the feeling of it so exhilarating that it almost made him dizzy with pleasure, causing him to gasp and cling to Niko when he was finally sheathed completely inside. He was so close to the other one, he felt his heart speed up and all of his body was urging him to move, to start the in and out motion but he waited. Even though Niko did try to hide the pain from him, Kamil knew to give Finn a few precious moments to adjust to the intrusion bigger than three fingers. Trying to move as little as possible, he leant once more forward, brushing Niko’s cheek with his lips.

“You ok?” he asked, once again whispering and waited for the answer, be it positive or negative. His body was literally screaming at him to start moving at last but he refused; Niko didn’t deserve to be treated as an object serving his pleasure, without any consideration for his comfort or possible pain.

Niko was breathing deep now, his body slowly getting used to the feel of Kamil inside him until he was sure he could safely answer ‘yes’ to the question asked by his … lover. The thought of Kamil actually being his lover made him smile a little; suddenly everything seemed brighter to him, more colorful, filled with … “Ok,” he answered, one of his hands tangling in Kamil’s hair while the other went to his arm, squeezing it. “It’s ok.”

With the proverbial green light from Niko Kamil breathed out, his tensing body finally starting to rock, first almost all the way out and then back in, agonizingly slowly but at the same time not wanting to go any faster. This was perfect, this sliding motion, in and out and back in …

“You feel … good …” Niko gasped, wrapping his legs around the other’s thighs, feeling the movement inside him, feeling a jolt of hot pleasure shooting through him when Kamil brushed his prostate, accidentally or not. He reached once again for Kamil, making the other kiss him; not enough kisses, not enough of pleasure, wanting more … more …

“Ni-…” In. “…-ko.” Out. “You feel …” In. “… soo …” Out. “… right …” In. A gasp. “Nnnn …” Out.

Niko grinned a little, his hands instantly going to Kamil’s hips, making him cling to the one on top with despair almost, his own hips starting to move with Kamil’s, searching for more friction, more pleasure and at the same time making the other one move faster. With Kamil’s face so close to his, now a little bit to his side, he heard short pants, felt the warm breath caress the side of his own neck. “Pink …” he gasped out.

“Pink?” Kamil blinked, stilling for a moment.

“Your ears, pink,” Niko answered, urging Kamil to resume the movement, his hands squeezing the slim hips they were resting on, probably leaving small finger-like bruises but his flat mate/lover didn’t even seem to notice, immediately obliging the silent demand.

“Seriously ...” Kamil panted out. “... could ... get ...” Out and in again. “... used ... to you ...”

“Ah … could get … nnn … used to you … too …” Niko started to mumble incoherently, the pleasure inside him becoming more and more consuming and it was much more than what Kamil’s movements were causing. Suddenly he felt warm just thinking … who would have expected that going to America, he would find a Polish student who seemed to be his perfect match even if they were so different? They fitted so perfectly together … Niko’s train of thought was becoming less and less coherent due to all the stimulation his body was receiving. When Kamil nipped slightly at the sensitive skin of his neck, then laving the nip with his tongue, he started panting loudly, not trying to hide it anymore, every pant becoming a short moan, filled with pleasure.

Those short, whimpering sounds caused Kamil’s movements to start losing their evenness and fluidity, and they became erratic and filled with desperate urge to find the release. He felt he was approaching his limit and only a few moments separated him from reaching the completion. The want he had felt previously changed into hunger he carved to satiate and the only way to do it was to go deeper yet … he moaned again. Stupid him, there was only this deep he could go in anyway.

“Oh, God … oh, God …” he heard Niko moan. “Kamil ... I'm going to come ...” These words actually filled him with relief; he would hate to leave Niko tittering on the edge of bliss, not tumbling into it. He chuckled.

“Come …” he reached between their joined bodies, finding Niko’s erection and stroking it firmly, wanting to provide extra stimulus, wanting to literally push his friend towards the blissful oblivion. Just a couple more seconds and he felt Niko come, his warm seed staining his fingers, a long though muffled moan spilling from the other’s lips. The body under him tensed and shivered, then slowly started to relax. The clenching of Niko’s internal muscles on his member was everything he needed to find his own release and he followed his friend with a short moan, leaning on Niko, not able to move away, not willing to move away.

It took them both a few long moments to come out of the pleasure-filled haze, their bodies cooling off, sweat that covered their skin drying slowly. Kamil felt his hand was sticky with Niko’s come; supporting himself with the other one he moved from Niko, slowly leaving his body and allowing him to finally breathe. He lay down next to him and looked at his own hand, covered with whitish substance. He lifted it to his mouth, his tongue flicking and tasting it curiously. He had never tasted it, he had always thought it would be a disgusting thing to do and yet he was now tasting Niko’s come. No, it was not a gourmet dish but it could have tasted worse.

Feeling Kamil roll away from his body made Niko suddenly felt cold and he reflexively snuggled up closer to his lover, sighing with contentment. This was a true bliss, being able to lie close to someone who cared about him, really cared. Every moment of their … was it love-making? … proved how much Kamil cared for his comfort and pleasure. Niko tried to remember if anyone beside HIM ever cared so much but he couldn’t find a single instance. Or maybe his thoughts were still too jumbled?

Kamil felt Niko snuggle up to him and he smiled, turning to him and giving him a slow, lazy kiss, trying to thank for everything his friend allowed him to feel. He felt Niko respond to the kiss and he snaked his arm around the other’s body, bringing him closer. “Niko …” he whispered, breaking the kiss. “This was …” he didn’t know what he wanted to say now. It was something special, something he didn’t share with anyone beside Niko but at the same time he felt something was not right.

He was supposed to help Niko prove he wasn’t easy and he … no, he didn’t take advantage of Niko; Niko consented, Niko wanted it just as much as he wanted it and yet … it was all really complicated, he felt a bit confused. What were they now? They were flat mates still but now more than that. How much more? Were they friends? Lovers? Just fuck buddies? He hated the concept of fuck buddies; it meant that there were no feelings at all involved, that what they did was done purely for release purposes. But his feelings for Niko … No, he knew he wasn’t in love with Niko. He liked him, yes but was it enough to BE with Niko? Did he have any right to do what he had done? Was he a fuck buddy now?

As if sensing his worries, Niko kissed him once again. “Kamil ...” he whispered, holding him. “It will all go alright, you’ll see. We can make it work the right way.”

Kamil nodded his head, returning the kiss, then standing up. “We need to clean before we stick to each other,” he chuckled a bit, leaving the room and going to the bathroom where he disposed of the used condom, washed himself with a sponge, then he rinsed it clean and returned to the room with it, cleaning Niko’s abdomen from the remains of seed. “Now it’s much better,” he smirked, having taken the sponge back to the bathroom. “We can finally go to sleep,” he said, lying next to Niko and covering them both with the warm blanket. “Good night, Swedish kid,” he said for the second time this evening.

“Good night thief,” he heard in response. He reached with his arm, pulling Niko closer to him, his body drowning slowly in tiredness; he brought his face closer to the other’s, almost burying it against Niko’s neck and breathing in his scent. Niko, his friend. And he slept with him, without having any serious feelings. Would it go all alright just like Niko had promised it would? He sincerely hoped so ...

Niko felt happy, and he snuggled closer to Kamil, breathing in his scent and feeling the warmth of his skin against his own. What did this all mean now? He could get seriously used to Kamil, and to having a boyfriend again ... It felt good, to have someone, and Kamil was a great guy, and friend and handsome and, and ... he felt sleepy, contented and relaxed. He closed his eyes, finally giving in to sleep which was claiming him. There were so many questions but they could be answered later.

They had time and they could figure it all out at their own pace.

CHAPTER 5.  Caring

Niko was woken by the morning light.He shifted on the bed, opened his eyes and smiled at the sight of Kamil lying by his side. All of last night came rushing back to him and he still found it hard to believe that it had happened, but it had, he could feel it had; his body couldn’t lie. He brought his hand to touch Kamil’s bare arm, drawing small circles on his skin.

Kamil woke to the strange feeling, the bed seemed oddly small and someone was touching his arm. He cracked his eyes open, finding himself looking into the green eyes of his flat mate. He remembered, everything, even the doubts he had had, the doubts that were still not gone, but he smiled at Niko, not wanting to make him feel uncomfortable.
"Did you sleep well?" he asked.
"Yes, I did," Niko answered smiling back, "Did you?"
"I guess so, I was tired," Kamil smiled again. "But now I have to get up, and so do you."

"I wouldn't want to get up, I could stay in bed forever, well the rest of the day anyway." Niko grinned, giving a light kiss on the side of his neck.
"Come on, Niko, up," Kamil laughed softly and stood, realizing that he was naked. It was not the time to play modest, so he tried not to think of it. "Going to shower and then make some breakfast."

Niko sat up, looking at him, taking in the sight of him naked, noting to himself that he really did like what he saw.
"Don't use all the hot water," he grinned, "I need a shower as well,"
"Will shower very quickly," Kamil picked his pants from the floor and put them on. He then walked into his room where he took out fresh boxers and a T-shirt and went to the bathroom.
After a quick shower, just like he had promised to Niko, he got dressed and walked into the kitchen to prepare some breakfast.

Niko picked up fresh clothes from his wardrobe and went into the shower to wash himself. He had an odd feeling, like… something was not right, but he shrugged it off and went into the kitchen. Kamil had made them sandwiches he took the note as he walked past him, touching his shoulder briefly and smiling. He took the juice carton out of the fridge and poured some for himself.

"Do you want some?" He asked.
"Yes, please," Kamil sat down, starting to eat, seeming to be lost in his own thoughts. Niko felt an odd pinch in the bottom of his stomach as he sat down on the opposite seat. Kamil wasn’t looking at him.
"A penny for your thoughts," He couldn’t help but ask, hating the words as soon as they escaped from his lips, he felt insecure now.
"They're not worth this much, just some boring stuff, things I have to do today," Kamil mumbled around the bite of sandwich.

Niko nodded even though Kamil couldn’t see it, of course he couldn’t, because he wasn’t looking. He ate slowly, suddenly not feeling all that hungry. He felt confused; would it be alright if he touched Kamil? Shouldn’t it be alright? And what if he would kiss him? He wondered.

Kamil finished eating and got up, he washed his glass and gave a brief smile to Niko.
"Ok, now I have to do the laundry, lots of dirty clothes!" He left the kitchen, went to get the laundry back from his room. "See you later!" he shouted from the door, before it closed.

Niko sat there, the half eaten sandwich in front of him, the closing of the front door had left a hollow, lonely feeling. He was far from stupid and he knew the signs, he knew how to take the clue, he knew even though… He lost his appetite, maybe he could finish the sandwich later? He thought as he wrapped it in plastic and put it in the fridge.

There had been no kiss, no touch, not a word of what had happened between them last night and… maybe Kamil regretted it? Maybe it had been only sex to him? Or maybe he had just been tired and in a hurry and the evening would correct everything? His hopeful self thought, but he shook his head at this. No, he had seen this same thing often enough to know better.

He went to pack his school bag and left the apartment, no matter what, last night would stay in his memories as a happy one, he could not regret it, he would not regret it, it had been far too enjoyable.

At school there was no sign of Matt; he was probably at home hiding the damage of his face, Niko thought to himself and couldn’t help but to snicker at the thought. But he was still being watched, did Matt’s friends know about the hit? Were they mad at him? Plotting revenge? He couldn’t be sure, nor did he want to think about it much.

He got back home. There was a note on the kitchen table.
'Niko, I made you salad. Fridge. See you in the evening.' It made him smile, it made his hopes wake up again, as silly as it might have been. But Kamil had prepared salad for him, thinking of him and many times actions spoke louder than words. He took the salad from the fridge and sat down to eat, deciding to paint after eating.

Kamil came home pretty late, which was usual on Mondays. There had been some rumours about him, and of course he should have expected them, after coming out like that. The house was lit and he knew that Niko was home, probably painting or cleaning.
“I’m back,” he shouted as he entered the flat, he went into his room to leave his things there and then walked into the kitchen to fix some food for himself.

“Hi,” Niko’s voice greeted him, Kamil turned his head to look at the other, who stood at the kitchen doorway. Kamil smiled at him, greeting him back, before turning his attention back to finding food.
"How was your day?" Niko asked.
"It was ok. How about you? Did our trick work? Did this stupid groper leave you?" He asked as he checked the content of the fridge.
"Yeah, no signs of Matt, I guess he's at home licking his wounds or something." He laughed. "The others left me alone too... All in all, I had a great day and I owe it to you,"
"No problem Niko, I already told you you're my friend and will gladly help you," he finally decided to prepare some rice with meat and vegetable sauce. "You're up to some supper?"

Friend? Niko’s doubts were confirmed, the word was left to repeat in his mind and it left him confused again. Nothing had changed, not to Kamil. He swallowed, walking quietly to the table and sat down.
"Well, I could eat a little." He nodded, still looking at Kamil and hoping he'd... just... look at him back and say something, touch him... like he had on the previous night.

The dinner was prepared and a plate was placed in front of him.
"Here, and smacznego." Kamil said before starting to eat. Silence, it was so silent and again Niko could hardly force the food down. Not that it tasted bad, not that he… he knew he should eat, that he should feel hungry by now but he didn’t, it was tasteless to him. It was dark outside, he noticed as he finished his supper in silence, forcing himself to empty the plate. He got up and washed it.
"I'm going for a walk..." he muttered as he walked to the hall, dressing his jacket and putting his shoes on.

"OK, just don't stay outside too late," Kamil told him, watching him; he was dressing his lighter jacket on and Kamil thought he should have picked up something warmer, but Niko was an adult and could take care of himself. He walked into his room when the front door closed after his flat mate. He picked up some comfortable sleeping clothes, went into the bathroom and took a long, hot bath. After the bath, he took out his homework and got to work, he checked the time; it was 8 pm, he had a good 3 to 4 hours to spend learning, before it would be time for sleep.


Niko felt almost as if in a dream, it was chillier outside than what he had thought, but a stubborn thought was the reason of why he didn’t return home; winters at home had been chillier than this, so he could manage just fine. He shoved his hands in his pockets, million questions filling his mind. The wind blew past him, it made him tremble, there was a funny feeling in his throat, almost like he was choking.

He couldn’t understand Kamil, he wanted to, but he couldn’t, it was almost as if the other boy had a wall around him, a wall he thought he had broken last night but it was obvious now that he hadn’t. Kamil was gay, he was gay… they had slept together, they shared the same flat, then why did he insist on them being just friends? What was it that was holding him back?

Niko didn’t think that he was asking much, he didn’t need for Kamil to be in love with him, he didn’t need promises of forever because he knew that those kind of promises hardly ever worked. He had never been the one to ask much, things changed fast, situations changed fast, all he wanted was the truth and someone to hold, someone to stand by his side, someone, who would understand that he was not perfect, who was perfect anyways? - No one.

In Niko’s mind, Kamil planned too much, he probably had his whole life all planned out, and as for Niko himself… Well, he went with the flow, where would he be in five years? He wasn't sure, but he didn’t need a firm plan, plans usually seemed to fail anyway.

He did believe in love, he did believe that it was possible to spend a lifetime with one person and that was what he wanted, someone who would travel by his side; who would face the world with him and all the twists and turns that life brought.

But his past relationships had already disappointed him, they had already left him confused, his heart had already been broken once… He had been determined to stand back up again and continue with the pieces left, but it wasn’t easy, it had never been.

He had been seriously in love, he thought that he had been in love with him as well, but he had fallen for someone that, in the end, had proven fake.

They never really even broke up, he, his lover, never said the words; it’s over. One day, he just disappeared from his life, one night had been the most romantic one in his life and the next morning; a soft kiss that had been planted on his lips, a smile on his lovers face; ‘go back to sleep Nikolas’, he said, ‘it’s still early,’ and he watched him leave, he closed his eyes, fell back to sleep, not knowing, that it would be the last time that he’d see him. And no, Roni didn’t die, like he feared at first. No, the bastard had just come to fuck him one last time, before leaving him without a word, without a reason, without a goodbye.

He was broken for weeks, for months, not knowing what had happened and then later learning that Roni had just decided to go on a long trip across Europe with some of his friends. His depression left his mother worried, his own partying had increased, then came the meaningless one night stands. There weren’t that many, but it was still stupid and he always regretted them. He wanted to escape from the pain and then came the opportunity to move to Colorado, he jumped at the chance head first. And here he was now.

He felt tired and disappointed of the men in his life and of himself for falling into the same traps. Wouldn’t he ever learn?

It started to rain slowly, he didn’t care, he loved rain, he welcomed it. He was tired of all these confusing relationships, of people that were so hard to read.
The rain grew heavier, a winter rain, he was trembling, his lips were trembling, his hair was wet, he turned back, but he had already walked quite far, it would take him time to get back home.


Kamil heard as the rain stared to pour, and at the beginning it was just a shower, but then it turned into almost a downpour. He hoped that Niko had found a shelter for himself, but as the time passed, he knew that he would want to come home, he couldn’t stay outside forever.

After a time that had seemed like forever, he heard the door open and immediately got into the hall. He saw Niko, who was dripping wet.
"Niko, you're wet, and cold," he noted as he walked over to him to help him take off his jacket. The other boy was trembling all over, even his wet lips were shivering. "Come with me..." he sighed and walked him into the bathroom where he started undressing him. Niko was too cold to even help him and it was quite difficult to dispose of his wet clothes that were clinging to his pale, almost bluish skin. When he was finally in his boxers, Kamil wrapped a bathrobe around him.
"Now I'll prepare you a hot bath, OK?" he told him, and saw as the other boy nodded. Then he heard as Niko sneezed.

Kamil prepared the bath, making sure it was of right temperature, he poured some bathing foam in and watched how the bubbles formed, when the water hit the bottom of the tub.
"Come, we need to put you in the water," He said, looking at Niko again. He helped him take out the bathrobe, hesitated for a second before removing the boxers; hadn’t he already seen what he had? Kamil thought. The sight was still worth looking at, but never the less he took his hand and helped Niko’s shivering body into the bathtub.

Niko drew his knees close to his chest and wrapped his arms around them, it was getting better, warmer, but then he sneezed again and his head started to hurt.
“Thank you…” he muttered quietly.
"No problem," Kamil responded, realizing that the line was slowly becoming his everyday vocabulary with him. He reached for the sponge, dipped it in water and squeezed it over Niko’s back, watching as the water ran down, leaving a wet path.

"A shame we don't have sauna for you," he took the note. "This would get you warmer much faster."
Niko closed his eyes, smiled faintly and nodded his head.
“I miss home.” He whispered, enjoying the feeling of being washed, maybe Kamil cared after all, even if just a little? He was getting hopeful again and he knew he had to stop himself.
Kamil started to rub the sponge against Niko’s skin, wanting to quicken his blood circulation, it would get him warm. He dipped the sponge in the water time and time again, bringing it on his upper body. He couldn’t help but to notice, that Niko had a really nicely shaped body, not very muscular, lean, but not feminine.
"OK, you finish bathing and I'm gonna make you some hot tea," He said as he left the bathroom.

Niko stayed in the bathtub for a while longer, he didn’t feel like getting up, he felt uterly exhausted and it felt like huge effort to him to even try and lift himself up, but finally he did. Dressing on the bathrobe once more, he was sniffing and he felt dizzy. It was cold again.

He walked into the kitchen where Kamil was waiting with the lemon tea.

Kamil was almost positive that Niko was getting down with something and he hoped silently that it would be nothing more than a cold. He placed the mug in front of Niko when he sat down.
"Have it. It'll make you a bit warmer."
"Thank you," Niko whispered. "I'm always thanking you," he took the note then, speaking more to himself. He took a sip of the tea, still shivering, waves of cold running through his body.
"And I always say it's not a problem, we both should stop," Kamil smiled.
"We should," Niko agreed smiling into his cup.

"Think I'm going to bed, need to lie down." Niko told him after drinking the tea. He stood up, going towards the sink to wash the cup and sneezed again.
“Sleep well,” Kamil told him.


**^^**^^**^^**

Niko woke at 2 am, feeling dreadful, he felt like he was freezing, like he was caught in a freezer almost. He checked the window to see if he had left it open, but he hadn’t. Shakily he got up to find himself another blanket and when he had, he burried deep under both. His sleep was restless, broken, he was sweating, cold sweat on his forehead, he tossed and turned, not able to fall back to sleep, no matter what.

Clock ticked to 7am when he tried to get up, he was, however, far too exhausted for it. Hot and cold, the sweating hadn’t stopped. He closed his eyes, this truly was the worst he had felt in ages. He rarely got sick, but when he did, it hit him hard. He guessed that he had gotten over the virus days ago, but getting soaked in the winter rain really did it.



Kamil had fallen asleep with his head full of worry over his flat mate. When he woke, rather early, he remembered Niko and how ill he had looked the previous night. He walked into the kitchen to boil some water for tea after which he got into Niko’s room, to check up on him.


“Hey Niko,” He whispered, seeing as the tired green eyes peaked at him from under the cover that hid almost half of his face. The cover moved down and Niko lifted his hands on top of it.
“Hey…” he whispered, with a hoarse voice, his face was pale and sweaty. He needed help.

"I'm going to make you some tea and then I'll go and buy some medicine for you, you look like you need it. You didn't sleep too good?" it was a question, but Kamil was more than sure that he would
confirm.
"No..." he answered, "No sleep..." he tried to shake his head that felt like weighting a ton, his muscles felt sore as well. "I weight a ton." He told him quietly, his eyes falling shut.

"Ok, stay in bed, don't get up if you don't have to," Kamil quickly thought of what he needed to do. Niko looked worse than what he had expected and obviously needed help. "Now, I'll make you the tea and later the meds." He didn’t wait for an answer, just went back to the kitchen to get some tea for his friend. He fixed it with lemon and honey, stirring it and waiting for it to cool enough to be drinkable.

He then returned into the room and sat on the edge of the bed.
"The tea has arrived." He smiled. Niko tried to sit up, tried to support himself with his elbows.
"I might need a straw to drink it," he tried to laugh, but it was weak and he fell back on the bed.

Kamil placed the mug on the table, next to Niko’s laptop and went to get him a straw. When he found one, he returned and placed it into the mug. He helped Niko to sit up, and took the mug in his hands.
"OK, now drink, slowly." He watched as Niko took the straw in his mouth, slowly drinking from it.
“You are a good man Kamil…” Niko whispered as he laid his head against the pillow once more. Kamil wasn’t sure what to answer, he gulped down placing the now empty mug on the table

"Do you need ... to go to the bathroom? Or something?" he asked, the other boy looked terribly weak, he didn’t seem like able to stand up by himself.
"Um, yes bathroom... I'm all sweaty Kamil..." Niko pouted. "But it's so cold in here, why?"
"Because you have fever," he informed him, "OK, I'll help you stand up and go to the bathroom, you're up to it?"
"I’ll try, I don't want to wet myself." Niko tried to joke, he found soon that laughing just wasn’t a good idea. He tried to get up by taking a hold of Kamil’s shirt and his thigh, just randomly taking a hold what he could reach to get up.
"Wait, wait," Kamil laughed a little, seeing his attempts to lift himself from the bed. He reached with his arm to wrap it around Niko’s midsection and then help him to stand.

Niko’s legs felt like jelly.
"My legs are jelly," he complained to Kamil, holding onto him tightly, trembling from cold. Kamil strengthened the hold on his waist, feeling how hot Niko’s skin actually was. He slowly led him to the bathroom. When they were inside, he felt lost for a second.

"Um ... should I help you with this, too?"
“No!" Niko responded quickly, bathroom stuff was private, at least to him it was, especially when… Well, he just didn’t want Kamil there.

"If you ... need any help, I'm right outside." Kamil said before leaving the bathroom. Niko waited until he was out before he dared to pee. He knew he was silly with this, but that was just how he was. When he was done he flushed the toilet and washed his hands.

“Kamil,” He called him weakly once realising that he was drained of energy, he didn’t think that he could reach the door without falling. He really hated being sick like this. "Can you...uh... help me?"

Kamil got inside as fast as he could, hearing his voice, weaker than he would have expected. He got inside, Niko looked pale and weak, he was swaying on his feet. He immediately caught him, his arm going around him for support.
"Now we'll put you in bed again." He said leading him back to his bedroom and helping him on the bed. He covered him with his blanket.

"I think you need more covers." He said then and went into his room to get his own duvet; that was the one thing that one should cover oneself if ill, Kamil thought. He placed the duvet over Niko’s blanket."Let's hope this will keep you warmer, at least it should."
"Thank you..." Niko whispered weakly. "Will get better soon, have school work to do..." he muttered, breathing through his mouth as his nose was stuck.
"Do you want more tea?" Kamil asked, to which Niko only nodded, it hurt to talk.

Kamil returned into the kitchen to make more tea and then returned to his friend, helping him to drink it.
“You should sleep now, I’ll go get you some medicine.” He told him with a gentle voice, his hands reaching to stroke his hair, he watched Niko closing his eyes and slowly falling to sleep.

Kamil ate a quick breakfast, the more he thought about it, the more he felt Niko shouldn’t be left alone in such a condition. He took a shower, dressed and left the house to find the nearest drug store. He asked the pharmacist of what to get to Niko and she suggested him the same things he himself had thought of; aspirin, nose drops and vitamin C and he also chose to buy some cough syrup.

Then he went shopping, he needed to cook something that Niko could eat and that would make him stronger. Chicken soup was something his mother had always cooked, so he bought a small chicken and some thin noodles before getting back home.


When getting into the hall, he heard some noise coming from Niko’s room and decided to check up on him.

He found him sitting on the floor, obviously struggling to stand back up, but with not much success.
“I fell,” he whined pitifully, looking up at him.

"Niko..." he sighed, carefully took him by his arm and lifted him onto his bed "Stay in bed. I'll bring you the medicines."He covered him once more and went into the kitchen to get him tea and medicines.

Niko sighed, he didn’t like that Kamil saw him this weak, he had already helped him with so much… and now this and he was lying there helpless, sick and quite unattractive in his own mind… And yet there was a part of him that enjoyed greatly the care that Kamil was showing him, staying home, missing both work and school for him. How many others would do that?

"Take the medicines," Kamil told him, when returning into the room, he gave him the pills and the tea to drink, which Niko took.

Niko swallowed the pills down and drank his tea, which spilled, he sniffed his nose and looked miserable.
“I’m sorry,” he felt like he had really ruined Kamil’s day.
"You don't have to be," he smiled as he handed him the nose drops. "This is for your nose, drop a few drops inside, it should make breathing easier," then he took the tea mug and wiped the spilled tea with a napkin.
Niko took the nose drops which he seriously hated taking, but they did instantly ease his breathing. He wondered how afoul he must have looked and started to worry about it. He knew it was stupid, but couldn’t help himself. He brought his hands to touch his cheeks that still felt like burning, he chewed on his lower lip.
"Now I am going back to the kitchen to prepare the chicken soup for you. You try to sleep, if you can," Kamil smiled at him and left the room. He felt sorry for Niko, who looked so miserable and weak at the moment, but strangely, he still had this…boyish charm in him. He smiled to himself remembering the previous night, of how good it had felt to be inside of him.

After an hour and a half the soup was ready and he returned to Niko’s room, carrying a tray. The other boy was lying in bed, a comic book resting on top of his chest.
“I tried to read but…” He explained weakly, Kamil nodded, placed the tray on the table and sat on the edge of the bed like before.
"Do you think you're able to eat, your throat doesn't hurt that much?"
"I can try... to eat" he told him, looking at the soup bowl, chicken soup, he remembered his own mother making it too when he had been sick and smiled faintly. He moved his legs to give more room to Kamil.

Kamil moved to sit more comfortably, took the bowl and dipped the spoon in, he brought it in Niko’s mouth.
"The plane is landing so open up," he joked. Something his mother had used at times when he didn’t want to eat. He had been a fussy eater as a child and she had to use many tricks to persuade him to eat, strangely the plane had worked the best.

Niko would have laughed if he had been able to, but he could only produce a strange sound that might have resembled laughter. He smiled none the less and opened his mouth for the ‘plane’ He swallowed it down, which hurt a little, but the warmth also soothed his throat.

Kamil continued to feed him, which felt strange, but it was more of a pleasant strangeness, it felt nice to be useful and… helpful. It was almost as if he had been lacking something all this time in America and now he had found the thing that he had been lacking.

At home, Kamil had been taking care of his younger sister a lot and helping with things at home, even if he seriously hated cleaning, other things had been OK. Here in Colorado, he had suddenly been left all by himself, without closer human contact and Niko… Niko had made him realise what it was that he was missing.
"Does it taste you?" He asked when half of the soup was gone. Niko nodded.
"Shgoog" Niko sputtered and licked his lips, feeling slightly better with having something to fill his stomach. "Another plane..." he joked, opening his lips, enjoying this feeding a lot more than he probably should.

Kamil snorted and resumed feeding him until the soup was gone from the plate.
"Now sleepy time again, Swedish kid," he said standing up. "Do you still feel cold?"

"Getting cold," Niko nodded his head.
"What would you say if I helped you get another hot bath?" he suggested.
“I’d like it,”
"Then wait here, I'm going to prepare one."


After the bath was ready, he went to get Niko.
"Ready for a little cleaning?" He asked, Niko nodded, reached his hands towards him for help. Yes, he liked it way too much than he should.

Once in the bathroom, Kamil helped him undress, until he stood in front of him naked. He gave him a quick look and helped him into the tub.
"Not too hot?"
"No," Niko shook his head and sat down."it feels good, warm" He played with the bubbles, until feeling exhausted again. He thought he should wash his hair too so he reached out for the bottle of shampoo.

Kamil didn’t think that it was a good idea for Niko to wash his head, but if he felt like it… He shrugged and took the shampoo that Niko hadn’t been able to reach. He placed it on the edge of the tube. He then took the sponge, wetting it generously and brought it over the top of Niko’s head, squeezing and letting the water wet it. He repeated it a few times until his hair was thoroughly wet. He put the sponge away, took the shampoo and squeezed some on his hand. He added few droplets of water and finally brought it to Niko’s hair. He started to massage his scalp, enjoying the feeling of his soft hair and the sensations that the foam produced on his skin. He would have never thought that washing someone’s hair could be this pleasant. There was a small, “mmm…” that escaped from Niko’s lips, his eyes were close and Kamil noticed himself watching him with some sort of strange fascination.

He continued for some time, then rinsed his hair, repeating the washing, the movements of his hands slow and delicate, he didn’t want to make him feel dizzy or anything and the truth was that he did enjoy washing Niko’s hair all too much.

“Thank you,” Niko whispered softly when Kamil was done with the washing, "I... sleepy..." he told him with a yawn and then sneezed. Kamil snorted, took a piece of paper and wiped his nose as if he were a small child.
"Ok, now let's get you out of water. Don't fall asleep just yet, I need to dry you." He took a towel, dried him with it, dressed his bathrobe on him and then dried his hair with a fresh towel.
"OK, now sleepy, for real this time." He said, which Niko only nodded to.

**^^**^^**^^**^^**

Kamil sat in Niko’s room, trying to do his school work. He had called in sick at work as well. Niko had been sleeping the bigger part of the day and Kamil had decided to use his laptop to help him with his homework, he knew that Niko wouldn’t mind.

Then it got dark, and late and he noticed that Niko’s sleep became restless. He was tossing and turning, mumbling words in his own language, language that sounded strange in his ears and made no sense to him. He got up and approached the bed insecurely, maybe he should wake him and give him some aspirin?
"Niko …" He spoke softly, but all he got was more unclear mumbles. Niko opened his eyes for a moment, but Kamil could see that he wasn’t completely conscious. "It's OK, Niko, I'm here." He checked his temperature, touching his forehead; it was hot so he must have had high fever. "Wait here, I'll bring you medicine."

Kamil watched as Niko trashed a little on the bed, so weakened by the fever that he couldn’t even sit up. He quickly got in the kitchen, poured some water from the kettle, sweetened it with honey and added a dash of lemon. He took the aspirin and a glass with the water and returned into Niko’s room.
"You need to take aspirin," he said softly, unsure if Niko even recognized him.

Niko nodded his head carefully and accepted the pill that was placed in his mouth, he swallowed it down, then drank from the glass that was brought to his lips.

Niko was shivering violently, even though his forehead was burning, there was a miserable moan when he lay back down. It seemed that he couldn’t get warm enough, so Kamil decided to lie down next to him, to share some of his warmth. He took off his jeans, leaving his T-shirt and boxers on. Then he slipped under the covers next to him, bringing Niko closer to him.

He felt as the other snuggled even closer and Kamil brought his hand in Niko’s hair, stroking him gently, he really felt hot all over. Something in him was waken, the body he held close to him… he wanted to protect him, he wanted to make him well again.

**^^**^^**

Niko woke up. His throat was still sore, he was surprised to find Kamil next to him, he didn’t remember going to sleep. He felt like he was about to sneeze, he raised his head up to try and locate some paper to blow his nose with.

Kamil woke to the incessant shuffling on the bed next to him and opened his eyes, he saw Niko’s red nose, but he actually looked a lot more conscious than last night.
"Hey, feeling at least slightly better?"
"Yes..." He answered with a nasal voice that almost made him giggle. "nees tissue..." he explained to him.
"A moment," Kamil stood up, cursing his morning erection. He went into the bathroom, where he carefully peed and then after washing his hands he took tissues to Niko’s room. "Here you are."

Niko took one and blew his nose. He was sweaty all over, his T-shirt clung to his skin and his boxers… “I’m all sticky Kamil,” He pouted and had to cough.
"Need a bath?"
"Yes... think I do..." Niko nodded and tried to pull himself up, his throat was really tingling. "Blackcurrant juice... Do we have?" he asked with a hopeful tone, it had also been something his mother had given to him when he was sick.
"No blackcurrant juice but I have raspberry juice, from Poland," Kamil smiled, it was one of the things that he had brought with him, his mother had really insisted on him taking it, saying it was in case of a cold.
"Raspberry? You do?" Niko asked. “I love raspberries… vadelma, at home we call them vadelma.” He smiled.
"I can make you some hot raspberry juice?" Kamil asked to which Niko nodded.
"And a bath...?" He added carefully, he felt like he was bossing Kamil. "Please? You don't have to though." Again he had to blow his nose.
"I'm at your service," Kamil offered him with a smile. "What first? Maybe breakfast? And then the juice? What would you like to have?"
"Hm… an omelet?" Niko suggested nibbling on his lip.
"OK," Kamil left the room to prepare the breakfast.

After 20 minutes Kamil returned with the breakfast.
“Here you are,” he placed a tray with the plate and the drink on Niko’s lap, "Smacznego."

Niko frowned at the word.
”Smasu whazu?" he almost giggled, he thought there must have been some snot in his ears as well.
"Smacznego," Kamil repeated with a smile. "English doesn't have an expression which would be used before a meal. 'Smacznego' means more or less 'May your meal taste you."
"Oooh, Smacznego..." Niko tried to mimic and nodded quite satisfied with himself because it did sound almost right. He started to eat then, taking small bites of the omelet, he knew he needed to eat even though his appetite wasn’t quite there yet, but he needed food to get his strength back.

Kamil watched Niko eating his food, he watched how slowly he ate, with small nibbles and bites, he couldn’t help but to think that he looked cute and…

"Is good," Niko told him. "Thank you Kamil..." he smiled and then brought his hand on his forehead. "I'm doing it again?" he shook his head.
"Yes, you're doing it again," Kamil nodded as he took the last forkful of omelet. "You eat, then, when you're ready, call me. I'll prepare the bath for you."
"We could get me a little bell?" Niko tried to joke.
"A bell?" Kamil asked, rasing his eyebrows. Niko snickered.
"Yeah, I ring the bell and you come... and you’d probably had me dead by the end of the week,” he grinned.
"I come?" Kamil snickered in return. "That would be interesting." Niko blushed with the sudden images that filled his mind. He tried to think of something else, anything else.
"Berries," he blurted out, a moment of silence… ‘What berries? What?’ he thought to himself, blushing even more.

Kamil could see his nervousness and he suppressed laughter, it was precious to see Niko flustered like that.
"Raspberries, Niko. Drink your tea." And he left for the bathroom to prepare him the bath.

Kamil found himself smirking while preparing the bath and he couldn’t help it. When he walked back into the room, the teasing streak was blossoming in him once again.
"Bath is ready, are you… coming?"

Once again Niko blushed, he couldn’t believe that he actually had the energy to think sexual things while he was this ill. He hoped that Kamil would just think that it was the fever that made his skin flush like that.
"Yeah I'll ... come..." He answered slowly and tried to lift himself from the bed. He wasn’t feeling as weak as the day before, but still a bit shaky on his feet.
"Whoa, you're not that strong, let me help you get to the bathroom," Kamil’s hands immediately went around his waist. It felt good to hold him, he noticed. Maybe… maybe they could really make it work as more than friends?

Once again Kamil undressed and bathed him, a routine that he found himself enjoying, too.

After it was done he helped him out, dried him and dressed him in a bathrobe.
"Fresh, clean ..." he sniffed him, "Yummy," he grinned and gave him a kiss on the cheek. "Now go, take your medicine and off to bed! I must soon leave for the uni."

Niko was surprised by the kiss, his hand rose to touch the skin where he still felt the kiss and he smiled.
"Yes sir," he grinned and after going to the kitchen to take his medicine he climbed back to his bed, he felt much better already.

**^^**^^**^^**

Four days passed like this, with Kamil taking care of Niko, going to school, work and having to do all the household chores as well. At nights he had slept next to his flat mate who seemed to get really cold when with fever. It was to keep Niko warm, it was just sleeping, not doing much else and every morning Kamil had woken with a terrible morning erection… it was kind of… frustrating…

It was Saturday, Niko’s health had improved majorly and it was a day to relax, even for Kamil.
It was afternoon when he walked into Niko’s room to check up on him. The other boy lay on the bed reading comics.
"Niko, what about this evening?" He asked him. Niko lifted his gaze up from his comics.
"Would you.... like to do something?…Watch films perhaps?" he suggested.
"Yeah, I think we both deserve an evening of relaxation," Kamil smiled. "Do you have any comedies? Or should I go and rent one?"
"I don't have any new ones," he told him, "Just some, but... If you'd like to rent then?"
"OK, any suggestions?".
"Hm...." his mind felt blank. "I like parodies," he told him then, "But just rent something you'd like, I pretty much like any comedy at all.

"Parodies ... ever watched the parody of Dracula, the one with Mel Brooks?" Kamil asked putting his jacket on. "What's the title again?" He asked himself.

Niko remembered seeing it years earlier.
"I'd love to see it again! It's almost, gods don't even remember how many years since I saw it! Dracula....um... ‘Dead and loving it’?" He snickered, more excited than what was probably healthy, he bit his lip.
"Well, I ... don't remember the English name, in Polish it was entitled 'Dracula - vampires without teeth." Kamil grinned at Niko. "Polish translations of titles suck big time. Have you ever watched 'Dirty dancing'? It was translated as 'Spinning sex' in Polish," he snickered. To which Niko laughed.
"Really? That's funny....I've heard of that film, never seen it, my mom loves it to bits though! Oh, and you know... the Dracula... its Finnish title was..." he tried to remember. "Oh yes: Florid dead man... so..."
"OK, so bringing us a Mel Brooks parody, whatever I happen to find!" Kamil promised him and left the flat.


After Kamil was gone, Niko decided to take a shower, washing himself carefully. He used some cologne, making sure that he didn’t use it too much. Then he checked himself in the mirror, to see if he looked good enough. He changed his best underwear, snickering to himself at this point, honestly it was like he was preparing himself for a date.
“Oh Niko, you’re dreaming.” He sighed to himself, returning to read his comics and wait.

When he heard the front door opening he got up and went to the hall.



“Did you find it?” he asked with curiosity.
"Yes!" Kamil grinned and showed him two films. "I even found 'Space balls' a parody of 'Star Wars'!"
"Space balls?" Niko asked with a laugh. "Now is it just me or does that sound like a title to some cheesy porn?" he grinned at him, leaning against the wall, suddenly wondering what it would be like if they were to watch some... he quickly got rid of the thought. "You and your star wars." He continued with a smile.
"It does!" Kamil laughed. "It's a parody, so ... well, in Polish it was 'Space eggs' but then again, we do call testicles eggs." He laughed again. "OK, now I need to take a shower, I can see you already had one so ... did you leave me any hot water?"
"I did leave you hot water and you know the egg thing goes in my language as well, it's funny." Niko smiled, "I'll make some popcorn for us."
"OK… Make it good and salty." Kamil got to his room, taking fresh boxers, a T-shirt and his favorite gray sweatpants, freshly washed this morning when he was doing the laundry. Then he was ready to take a brief, hot shower…

Niko prepared the popcorn and took the bowl and some soda in his room. Then he got his computer ready.
"Which should we watch first?" He asked when Kamil walked into the room.
"I think Dracula should go first," Kamil said and sat on the bed.
"Ok Dracula it is," Niko smiled got up and put the DVD on. When he sat back down, Kamil noticed the slight smell of cologne. Had he… done it for him?

Niko wanted to cuddle, but he was unsure if that was what Kamil wanted. They had slept in the same bed for the 4 previous nights and… Kamil had bathed him tons of times, seeing him naked. This gave him the courage to move closer.

Kamil felt him moving closer and he didn’t mind it one bit, he had gotten used to having Niko close, even closer than what he was now. He reached for the bowl with popcorn and put it between them, so that they could both reach it easily.
"You remembered to make it salty?"
"Yes, lots of salt," Niko grinned, took some and ate. He took some soda and placed the glass on the floor. He got comfortable again, close to Kamil.
"That's the bug eating man," He took note at the beginning, he just found the guy so amusing already. He laid his head on Kamil’s shoulder taking some popcorn again.
"I know, and I love it how he eats the bugs and gets enema all the time," Kamil reached for some popcorn as well and munched it. Salty, just the right way, he thought to himself. Then he noticed that Niko had eaten his popcorn, so he reached for it again, this time feeding him.

Niko smiled, opened his mouth and took what Kamil offered, carefully licking his finger while he was at it. Naughty thoughts were already waking in him and he knew that he probably should try to control himself.

The touch of the hot, wet tongue was brief on Kamil’s finger, but it was electrifying enough for him. He took his hand away, reaching for more popcorn and putting it in his mouth. He tried to concentrate on the film.
"You know, I really find it funny, this scene in which Jonathan has to stab this vampire woman with a stake and gets sprayed with gallons of fake blood, all over him." Kamil spoke, Niko snickered quietly.
"Yes, it is funny," he agreed. "But this bug eating guy cracks the hell out of me: 'I'm coming master'," he mimicked one line from the film and laughed.
"Are you?" Kamil teased, with a snicker.
"Maybe later... who knows?" Niko grinned, and fed him some popcorn, his gaze however, was turned to the screen.

Kamil smiled and returned to eating popcorn and watching the film. Sometimes he burst out laughing at the scenes, and Niko was right; the bug eating man was the best, especially when he tried to fly and hit the ground. "Haha! The idiot thinks he lost the men following him by randomly running around, God I love this film!" he burst out and Niko joined him in laughter.
"I know, me too, it's so silly," Niko brought his hand on Kamil’s thigh, getting even more comfortable.

Finally the movie ended.
"Should I pop the other in?" Niko asked, stroking Kamil’s thigh.

Kamil knew that he should say; 'Yes, let's watch 'Space balls'’ but at the moment, he couldn’t care less, feeling Niko’s hand stroking his thigh. His breathing hitched in matter of seconds, four too many nights in his bed, doing nothing except sleeping.

"Maybe later..." he murmured, as he put his hand over his, interlacing their fingers and bringing Niko’s hand on his lips, lightly kissing every knuckle.
“Later…” Niko replied breatheasy, looking deep into Kamil’s eyes, looking at the hand that he was currently kissing and when Kamil lowered it, looking at Niko with a question, with wonder of how and where to touch him next; there were so many possibilities, equally as pleasant.

Niko breathed out slowly; how could such a simple touch make him feel so much? Finally he brought his lips on his, moving his one leg over Kamil’s.
“Oh God, how much I want you…” He breathed out, starting to kiss his neck, his jaw line, his cheek and moving once again to his lips. Kamil couldn’t have agreed more.

The kiss soon turned into hunger.


Kamil moved his one hand behind Niko’s butt, as the other arm wrapped around him. Niko’s position couldn’t be that comfortable at the moment, his body twisted at an odd angle, so Kamil decided to change it, flipping the other boy down on his back, moving on top of him. They were wrapped around each other, the heat continuing, the kiss continuing.

Something hidden was now released, the desire burning in between them.

Kamil’s hands on his sides, shirt moving up, hot, moist lips on a waiting skin.
It was that moment, both lost in their passion, what did tomorrow mater when there was this night? When there was this moment? What were words when touches and kisses told what was needed?

They fought of who could be on the top, a battle that Niko would willingly lose in the end, but a game that he wanted to play. Kami’s hand moving inside of his jeans, teasing the skin between his butt cheeks, he bent his head and moaned. Hard, needing, wanting to get rid of the clothes that were only in the way.

And even now, no words were needed, they knew what they would be, naked skin finally touched the other, burning, they were burning, holding onto each other desperately almost, wanting to get as close as one could get.

Kisses, Niko couldn’t get enough of the kisses, neither could Kamil. Passion, Niko was sure that it had been ages since he had felt this kind of heat with someone. The wait had been too long for them both, the nights of being so close and yet not enough close had done their job and now it was too much to take it slow, once they had the taste, they tasted the fantasy.

The final preparation was quick, it was Niko’s choice, he simply couldn’t wait to feel him. Kamil lay down on his back and Niko sat on top of him, slowly taking the hard, ready organ inside of him. He breathed out, close his eyes, panting. Kamil’s hand came to rest on his hips, reassuring hands that wanted him to feel good, comfortable, hands that wished him no pain, the person who wished him no pain.

Niko waited until his body relaxed more and got used to the feeling, before meeting Kamil’s eyes, smiling; I’m alright, he wanted to tell him, but believed that his expression told it better than what his words ever could. And he began to move, slowly at first, leaning down to capture the lips of his friend.

Kamil held him, moving his hips up, unable to control himself, wanting more of Niko, getting lost in the sensation of being inside him, it had never felt quite so good, it had never felt like this with his last boyfriend. And they moved together, as one, kissing, no words, not now, not to break the moment.

They almost hoped it could last forever, but the heat was too strong to hold back, the want was too strong to conquer. The climax moved past them, through their bodies, leaving them relaxed, satisfied and sweaty.

Too exhausted to move, they laid there naked, side by side. Niko’s head resting on his chest, while Kamil’s hand gently stroked the soft, golden, chestnut hair, placing a kiss on top of the crown.
‘I’ve never met someone quite like you before.’ Kamil thought to himself, as his hand moved along Niko’s arm. ‘Beautiful…perfect…’ he thought, but did not voice it.

It felt right for Niko, to lie there, to feel Kamil’s touch, to hear him breathing. He felt relaxed and perfect; he thought this moment might break if he were to say something, maybe Kamil would get scared again, maybe he’d say that he wanted to continue as friends and nothing more. He didn’t want to hear it then, he wanted to keep this blissful feeling.

Kamil’s hand slowly and gently touched his cheek, urging him to look up; he did, carefully looking into the others eyes, lips came in contact with his own; a slow, gentle kiss.
“You feel good,” Kamil whispered, “really good.” Niko smiled, glad that the silence had been broken.
“So do you Kamil, I really… enjoyed… as you well saw…” Niko grinned, laying his head on the pillow next to Kamil, giving him a light kiss on the lips once more. Kamil smiled, gently touching the tip of his nose.
“Sleep well Niko,”
“You too Kamil, see you in the morning,” Niko grinned, his eyes already closing.

Maybe it really could work?

 

Web published: July 2007.

ToughEvilFluff / My Secret Shore

© TEETA/ KOLGRIM 2006 - 2007

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